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Clay and Hop
dreamed 2009/10/30 by Wayan.
I'm reading the Tarot
for a woman I know--
one of Alder's pudgy Wiccan friends.
Pebbles gleam wet in an altar-bowl
where the soul she molded stands:
blocky as pueblos, her souldoll.
Water nurses clay: the effigy's damp
base is split: pull her legs unstuck!
Then alone can you touch
her mummified organ, hid
among the understones.
Her clit? Her shriveled heart? No,
her breast, cut cancerous years ago.
Alder handled it, but as I touch,
the molder flinches. She mistrusts
all men. Oops! Too late now. I blurt
"Don't worry over strange men
you let open your legs. Your
soul is ageless clay from Earth's
birth. Damp, you can remold
forever! New dolls; old soul."
No. Cold comfort for a witch.
She wants warm. She wants flesh.
So, a happy hopping Foole,
round her room I sing:
"I played God, I touched your soul.
Bouncy clown, but I'm unsure
Play and hop, clay and hop.
At least I know to play!
A playful, goofy God--
now ain't I nicer than
that wrathful, jealous God?
Don't panic! Happy gods like me
are harmless, harmless. Well,
my foolgod fully solaces her.
Especially the hop. No scripture
goes for hopping gods, save
the Alice cult of Roo (she Springs!)
and the Orinocan rainfolk
Godding that frog. Oh well,
you can't soothe every witch.
But in my mostly harmless heart
still beats hop
- Alder's friend, doll: today Alder showed me a teak doll that cracks nuts between her long thighs. Sexy, funny--and it's become sort of mascot for her women's group.
- the pudgy woman: seemed oddly generic--a mishmash of several real women in her group.
- molded clay: I resculpted part of Tharn today and planned to sculpt some dream figures.
- mummified body parts: just before bed I saw a BBC mystery. A scary madwoman kept her lover mummified in a locked room.
- Cancer/soul: Yow! Alarming no matter how you read it:
- a friend of Alder's (or all of them) has centered her life around old illness/trauma and mistrusts men now.
- I'm contacting/contracting cancer.
- I died of breast cancer... or was betrayed in love. So I came back a man, a breastless restless clown, to make sure that won't happen again! Won't let many touch my soul... including, maybe, me.
- Breast cancer's symbolic: nursing/caretaking til it kills you! The most likely meaning.
- I break into song: My conscious wants dream poems? Ohhkaay! My dreams create a song in a dream. Good Sméagol, alwayss helpsss...
- Opening your legs won't wear anything out: that BBC mystery's sideplot! Edie, a drama student, seduces her teacher. A classmate photos them; the whole class is in on it. Then they tell the teacher "just joking. We were just proving we CAN act." He flips out, calls them scum. So they post the photos. Sordid all around. I couldn't believe Edie would fuck this stringy-haired drooler either for real, as a joke, or for blackmail. As low in a way as his fucking a student.
But it's personal too. Since a big romantic drama blew up last year I've felt used up. I think the dream says "One lapse of judgment, even one as sleazy as Edie's, is not the end of the world. Quit acting like you used up your LNR (Lifetime Nookie Ration). Genitals don't wear out."
- Bowl-goddess vs. hop-god: the (literally) grounded goddess is clearly Earth & Water; the clown-god's Fire (creativity: improvises a song!) and Air. Or they may just mean: a heavy serious attitude, versus light and funny. Tragic versus comic! Neither's wrong; they complement.
- "Don't panic" and "mostly harmless": from Douglas Adams's Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
- puns: witch/itch, hope/hop etc: just the clown-god having fun, or are some of these linkages deeper than they seem? Maybe, for me at least, clowning generates hope. If so... does heavy, serious maturity foster despair? The dream hints it may cling to illness!
- Keep hopping, er, hoping. I'm not used up, just sick. Not the same! Beware this sort of fatalism. That dream woman was alive years after a mastectomy. Be more active about seeking a cure. Act silly, that may ward it off.
- Stay wet! Drink more fluids. Or, um... share them.
- This is Dreamverse #63. Every week, a dream-poem!
LISTS AND LINKS:
dream puns -
I'm Just Not Myself Today! -
God - two related mastectomy dreams:
The Breast Bandit and
Beryl's Dog Days -
health advice in dreams -
the four Jungian functions -
earth, water, fire and air -
humor and pessimism -
dream poetry -
the Dreamverses project -
the next Dreamverse: Ship of Jade -
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