PERSONAL CHAOS THEORY
Dreamed 1994/12/4 by Chris Wayan
My life's in chaos, so I do what I always do when I face problems--take a class on it. A class in chaos theory. Not mathematical chaos theory. Personal chaos theory.
According to our textbook, there are really four different types or flavors of chaos, that we humans tend to lump together.
It's just too abstract for me to grasp. And our textbook just mentions Four, then says "this is beyond the scope of this introductory course."
My homework is to compare the first three. I feel rather overwhelmed by them--they're a bit too personal for comfort.
Or even clarity. I have trouble distinguishing Chaos Two from Three, though I'm getting better. It's hard because I myself am a chaos wobbling between two strange attractors: Chaos Two's pattern of holding to strategies and goals, and Three, fluid about strategies and immediate goals, loyal only to deep values. I want to become a full Chaos Three! Not as a goal, of course--that'd be paradoxical, now wouldn't it? Just as a step toward my real Strange Attractor. The unknown. Chaos Four!
"But that," I realize as I start to wake, "is beyond the scope of this introductory dream."
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