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Dreamed 1997/4/6 by Chris Wayan

Gelsey Kirkland, ballerina (and, in my dream, sex workshop leader).

Our sex workshop leader's a woman I've known a while and been attracted to. Short, delicate, white, dark blonde. She looks and feels just like ballerina Gelsey Kirkland--a forceful, fastidious spirit in a feline body. Is she Gelsey? I can see why she might want to keep her two professional careers separate...

She has us all strip naked immediately. "Might as well get used to it right away."

Gelsey asks me to help demonstrate a sexual position. Lies on her stomach, head propped on elbows so she can go on telling class about pros and cons of dog-style sex. I'm instantly turned on. Lie on top of her, thrust into her excitedly. She grips me inside with firm muscles and in only a minute or two I come intensely. Not love, not even playful or very sensual--businesslike--but I feel so satisfied. Not a scrap of shyness or fear with her! I don't get sick from tension--I've lost my sexual timidity! Other issues may remain, but not that.

Plus, now I know what she's like inside--strong. I can let go with her--she's not fragile. Dance will do that.

Later, she picks me for a second demo on cunnilingus. I'm eager but as I lick her all over I feel ignorant--am I really pleasing her as much as I'm enjoying myself?

She tells the class, "Some men are reluctant, but Chris obviously likes this, finds it exciting." True! But what surprises me is how much hearing her say it gets me even hotter. Openness alone?

I ask Gelsey "Tell me what you like."

She laughs "Oh, you bet I will."

Much later, I do a third demo with a teaching assistant, a tall plump girl with big breasts. She's demonstrating this technique because it's for girls with sensitive breasts (or breast-obsessed lovers!) We get in position for 69, but she slides me down so I'm kissing her thighs and my cock slides between her breasts. She squeezes them together and I start rocking my hips. I'm fucking her breasts. Never even occurred to me before. Of course I'm not very breast-focused, and I mostly know dancers, who tend toward small breasts.

I don't come though--and not because it feels bad. This position brings up some emotional issue--can't name it, but something got triggered. I say so. She says "Yeah, positions emphasizing one body part can do that." No memory surfaces yet...

Meanwhile, all this time, my housemate Alder wallows naked chubby and depressed, in the back of the classroom, gnawing on a big hunk of old cheese! She won't participate--just snack and snipe. She calls "I hope you didn't get any sexually transmitted diseases, doing all those demonstrations without condoms."

It didn't even occur to me. Gelsey the workshop leader knows what she's doing. She certainly picked the one man in class she KNEW had no diseases, because he's been celibate the last few years.

Well, there is one disease here I might catch--Alder's negativity! Is she trying to scare me off from sex, even sex for practice and healing? She's given up on love AND sex, so she discourages me...

I'm gonna have to watch out for that.


LISTS AND LINKS: mentors and teachers - perfectionism - sex dreams - exhibitionism - hot girls - horny boys - Alder - school dreams - praise and approval - buried memories - healing from abuse - skills and mastery

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