THAT SUMMER

My doctor upped my thyroxine supplement without consulting me. My sleep shrank from 8 hours to 3 or 4, and my dreams evaporated. I got tachycardia, hot flashes, night sweats, and flashes of rage.

I complained. The clinic dismissed my classic symptoms of thyroxine overdose as "subjective". I unilaterally cut my dose; my sleep and dreams are now creeping back toward normal.

THAT DAY

Rustling behind our stove. Rats! The plumber comes and pulls out the stove. A gap around the gas pipe--a rodent highway, all right. I plug it with steel wool. Let's see if the rats can chew through that.

Write a letter to the City Attorney's office. A City truck totaled my parked car, I filed a claim, it's been nearly a year and they haven't even sent me an offer. Ask my dreams to review the letter. Ready to send?

THAT NIGHT

I'm living in my old childhood bedroom--but with modern décor. The walls are covered in art, and the bed's covered with Foam Furs, these lifesize plushie portraits of dream-creatures that I've been sewing.

Back in childhood, I was lonely. Our home, and my room, were isolated. Now it's crowded. Housemates, friends and strangers keep bursting in with news or comments. No privacy at all!

That's a problem, since I'm insanely horny. I get a surreally huge, horselike erection. No matter, I'm part unicorn anyway. I get in bed with my girlfriend, a sweet unicorn mare named Fiveheart. We start mating. It's hot...

Just before I come, I hear "clomp clomp clomp"--here comes a housemate to my door! Pull out and tie my bathrobe to hide my erection as this clown bursts eagerly in.

Knock? Of course not! Everyone treats my bedroom as public space.

Deal with their business, see them out the door, return to bed. Five minutes later my cock's deep in Fiveheart's cunt again. As I'm about to come...

Clomp clomp clomp. "Hello! You're not working, are you? This'll only take a minute!"

Deal with it, kick them out, and go back to Fiveheart, waiting in bed, climb up inside her, and we build toward...

Clomp clomp clomp! "Hello!..."

Three times invaded, three times interrupted. Not a subtle message.

NOTES IN THE MORNING

• Three invasions: my doctor overdosed me, rats invaded our kitchen, the City totaled my car.
• Interruptions block orgasm: these problems ruin my sex life (& fun generally). I won't feel quite like myself, let alone happy, til I resolve them.
• ACTION: send the letter as-is. Never mind the financial result, I need to end this!

MONTHS LATER

I'm still cutting my thyroid pills to lower my dosage to something safe.

The city attorney offered me one-quarter what a replacement car cost me. Two lawyer friends said my claim was fair and their offer was not, so I'm holding firm and planning to sue.

No more rats behind the stove--instead, they started coming up the stairs right past the cat! I found rat turds in my room. Third time, one climbed onto my bed and found the half-dozen plushies/sextoys I've been sewing. It ignored five and singled out Fiveheart, the unicorn mare I mated with in my dream. That rat chewed her face off. Like a nightmare nose job. All pins & patches now, awaiting stitches...

SO WHAT'S IT ALL MEAN?

My dream of bedroom invasion, and bed invasion, and UNICORN invasion, that seemed too surreal to be anything but dream-symbolism, now looks, well... literal.

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