VELOCIRAPTORS AND BANANAS
Dreamed 1994/2/6 by Chris Wayan
Cold. Raining. I still have the flu. I'm cooking when someone pounds on the door. I open it to see a stranger. An angry, tense stranger with his fists clenched.
He says "I'm the landlord."
"No, you aren't."
"You have to remove that bike shelter NOW. I told you before."
"I've never met you. Who are you?"
He says the family name of our landlady--no first name, no mister, just X---. She does has three adult sons, some of whom do maintain the several houses they own. This could be one I haven't met.
"Which brother are you--Bob?" I met him only once, but recall him as very different.
The guy shakes his head and won't say his name. I assume he's the third brother, whose name I never heard. Now I know why. He's creepy. Crazy?
He snarls "I told you before, I gave you one week which is plenty of time and if you don't remove your bike shelter I'm coming over and TEARING it down and you better have the nail holes filled and repainted by then too."
Must have been him, not Bob, who came by last week--he refused to tell my housemates who he was that time either, which left us calling around for days trying to find out who demanded what.
I say "You never told me anything. The person I guess you talked to, if it WAS you, is gone for the weekend. They've already agreed to fix it when they get back. I have the flu and I'm not going to do anything. Certainly not in the middle of a rainstorm." Most of which is true, but he acts like I'm lying and resumes his threats. Then suddenly he just turns and walks off!
I'm left bewildered, angry, and rather scared. He seemed dangerously unstable. Get sick with worry over the next twelve hours... triggers a relapse. Just lie in bed and read, trying to avoid thinking about it, knowing it makes me worse. Almost force myself to get up and go pull down the shed out of fear, but don't, because I don't want to reward whoever he is for bullying me. I get a bad-dog impression from him that says don't give him any emotional satisfaction or he'll come back for more. So I do nothing. My usual response to bullying.
Ingrid comes home at midnight and we talk half an hour about it. "Just let him come tear the shed down if it pleases him, she says. Just ignore him." I agree that's best and relax enough to go to sleep at last.
I dream I'm in my house, but not the waking one, quite different.
I'm hungry. I want bananas. They're on a shelf nearby, but I dare not go over and get them. You see, a pack of velociraptors is in the house. Bipedal dinosaurs, man-sized, smart, fast... and vicious. But though they seem to suspect I'm here, they haven't spotted me yet because I'm frozen still. Their eyes respond to motion.
If I reach to feed myself, they'll feed on me.
Finally I spot an instant when no one's eye is on me, and leap to the bananas. Heads turn. I freeze.
Then I get an inspiration. I throw one of the bananas across the room! They chase it around the counter, pouncing and snapping--till they find out it's not meat. They tear it up in disgust.
I throw another. The raptors go check it out, but are less excited.
Another! At this rate I'll have them ignoring bananas soon--hopefully while I have some left.
Good thing it's a fair-sized bunch.
So he's a vicious animal and motion lures him. Inaction is my best action! And distraction should be my backup plan. How to distract him? Someone to blame, to threaten, to hate? Someone to make him feel... jealous? His brothers, I bet. The ones I've met are sane; they must know what he is and keep him away from any real responsibility. Ignore him and deal with his brothers.
Also: stick to bananas tomorrow. I was getting over the flu but he set me back.
Or do bananas mean... his mental state?
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