A steady ache in my abdomen--or is it my lower back, around the kidneys? Wait for it to pass, but it worsens over a few weeks. At last, I reluctantly go to a clinic. I was right to come in! The test reveals I'm pregnant. An ectopic pregnancy--the embryo's lodged in the Fallopian tubes instead of the uterine wall. Of course I don't HAVE a uterus, so that figures...

"It's very rare in men" says the doctor, "but it does happen."

They give me local anesthetic, go in with long tweezers and pull out an embryo 1-2 cm long. I'm tired and sore, after, but the surgeon says "I'm confident we got all the fetal tissue; you'll be fine now."

I feel sad, but it was doomed--I couldn't possibly bring it to term. No placenta there to support it.

I tell my sister, who once had a miscarriage herself. Now we both have. Weird.

NOTES

Echoes the dream THE OTTER'S MOM, where an embryo's sacrificed, but she had to: she could save either a unique, gifted creature, or her own fetus... but not both.

I think the doomed embryo is my hopes of social acceptance, if I just hide my gifts and strangeness, and learn to pass for normal...

Give it up, Wayan. No placenta for that one.

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