My sister Miriel got married quietly, with no ceremony. Now she regrets it, and decides she wants a proper wedding. My other sister Althea calls up to tell me it's set for this Sunday. I can be part of it, she says, PROVIDED Althea's convinced I'll behave. I've been avoiding Miriel for a year or two, after all. Maybe I'll try to spoil her big day!

I'm furious, insulted. I try to control myself because I don't want to upset her girl friend Cary, who's also here--and who I'm strongly attracted to, always have been.

But Althea repeats it, and I finally have to confront her: "Althea, who are YOU to tell me whether I'm fit to go to Miriel's wedding? That's her choice and mine--not yours. What makes you think you're some kind of wedding bouncer?"

NOTES ON WAKING UP

• Miriel = ??? I had strong incestuous feelings for her, and still feel as if we're married in a way. I did avoid her for several years, to free myself and learn to see other women without comparing them to her...
• Cary = non-incestuous sex? Still not private though; part of the family gossip net!
• Althea = stubborn, practical, does whatever's necessary, where Miriel and I indulge in guilt.
• Hmm... maybe I DO back down too easily out of fear I'll scare off women I want.

My mom calls to tell me that Althea's husband left her, probably for good. She plans to go back to school and get a degree... as a licensed marriage and family counselor?

Man, why do I even bother dreaming? For surrealism, you just can't top this planet.

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