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Weddings and marriages

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Dream proposals, betrothals and marriages--some of them pretty strange, I warn you. Classically, dream weddings have been seen as signs you've integrated your animus or anima (your masculine or feminine side--whichever role you don't live in daylight).

It's true, "the spouse you wed may be yourself", but don't jump to conclusions! Maybe someone else is smiling in their sleep next door, or in a village around the world. Or in some other universe, as traditional shamanism insisted. Maybe you do marry spirits from another realm, who give you weird news, weird powers. Who knows?

Anyway, you may have made a long-distance friend. Don't make the error so many people do awake, of seeing your spouse as just a part of you. The classic psychological interpretation has uncomfortably close parallels to sexism, to taking your mate for granted as your other half. S/he may be more complex than that. Certainly the one dream figure I married--several times, in different guises, but definitely all one person--was far more multifaceted than a classic anima. Your dream-spouse may be too.

A lot of my marriage dreams are also a non-classical type--I dream of someone else's wedding. This could of course still be about me, but why do such dreams make a point of dragging in others? At the very least, look around your waking life to see if such a dream refers to someone else. They don't have to be literal--maybe a wedding means a business merger is "a marriage made in heaven", or a friend's found the right community or job at last... but at least consider the possibility the dream's poking you to put friends together and see what happens. Dreams are a call to action. Even, sometimes, matchmaking--romantic or not.

RELATED TOPICS: initiations and rites of passage - singles and dating - flirtation - sex - love - families - community and belonging - out of the closet! - breakups & exes - Silky, my spirit wife - See also the full INDEX OF SUBJECTS.

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ARIANE'S HONEYMOON: by Wayan; 1986/4/11, a dreamlet meant to shock;
ch.2 of UNICORN TAG, a set of nine linked dreamtales.
I married my childhood crush. Happy, till I overhear her tell my sister what she really thinks of...
CAUTION: SEX TALK
BALEENA'S GAME: by Wayan; 1974/1/26, a surreal dream with a practical point
A whale-spirit marries a poker-player. But her sonar sees too much. Whale-spirits prefer blackjack...
BIGAMIST: by a Carolina waitress; 1945, a telepathic dream
A sad, frail, very pregnant woman with dark brown hair told me she was my boyfriend's wife. The next day...
A BODICE RIPPER: by Carla Young, 2010/2/22; epic (and episodic) dream with 5 paintings
Awkward newlyweds. Not a love match! Can they co-operate to save a woman from the Nazis?...
BOGNOR MARRIAGE: by Thomas Hood; 1825; a newlywed nightmare
I found a honeymoon cottage by the sea, and the old landlady gave me a very reasonable rate. Everything was fine...
BONK VERONICA: by Wayan; 1997/4/1, 9-page dream-comic on body image
The world's first all-bulemic band, Veronica and the Vomits, provokes a riot at our local punk club. So I go to
Anorexic Bootcamp where models learn self-defense under fire, as calories and fat jokes whiz by...
CAUTION: BARF, HORNY ANOREXIC, FOOD FIGHT
BYRON’S DREAM: by Lord Byron; 1816, a dream of a love denied
An epic dream on the lifelong effects of unrequited love, compressed into seven stanzas...
CLUB MED OR PRISON?: by Wayan, 2019/5/29, a politicizing dream
I'm a woman trapped in a Sahara refugee camp. The only way out is to marry a rich jerk.
Try to escape but fail. Now an enemy out to kill me takes over. I have to turn and fight...
CAUTION: HARSH ON BOTH TRUMP & BIDEN
THE COUPLE AND THE MOTHER: by Jenny Badger Sultan, 1970, watercolor of a lost dream.
I no longer have the text of this dream, but its image anticipated and prepared me for my actual marriage...
CRUISE: by "Michelle", 1990s; a recurrent predictive dream
I never go on cruise ships but I keep dreaming I'm on one and meet the same man, and marry him.....
DON'T WANT HIM TO SOAR: by Wayan; 1991/4/18, a dream of sabotage.
In a parallel world, a visionary's building the first plane only now. I'm his assistant. But I don't WANT...
FATHER-IN-LAW THE WHIP: by Wayan; 2019/10/13, a Jungian dream inspired by anime?
I wander a weird palace full of books, seeking my father-in-law, but find
only a blindly-flailing whip anchored in the floor, creating a dome of pain...
F.I.P: by Dr A (c.1947), a Cambridge man (1960?), a London girl (c.1916) and a Midlands mum (July 1958)
Examples of inexplicable moods that appear (after the fact) to be reactions to future events...
FIRST NIGHT IN FIJI: dreamed May 1980 by S---; an unheeded warning dream
Far from home, about to wed a man I barely knew, I dreamed I was a lion in an open cage I dared not leave...
THE FOREST BRIDE: by Jenny Badger Sultan; 1994/7/23 & 1994/12/10; opposing solstice dreams
In the midsummer dream, I'm at a wedding in the Russian forest;
in winter, I dream I hold an emaciated girl as she breathes her last...
FRACTURE SPEEDS MARRIAGE: by Wayan; 2001/1/1, a dream of advice on health and romance.
A baseball star got her leg broken. It stalls her career,
but helps her marriage. Did she need a "break"? Do I?
GUARDIAN GHOST: by an Oklahoma girl; 1919, a dream (?) of ghostly advice
I dreamed my late stepdad warned me to stand by my mom--she'd be in trouble soon--gossip & blame...
GUDRUN'S FOUR HUSBANDS: by Gudrun Osvifursdottir; summer 988, plus spring 1026
Four childhood dreams predicting Gudrun's life; plus a predictive dream by her husband Thorkell Eyjolfson
Gudrun dreams of four treasures: a hood, a bracelet, a ring, a jeweled helm. Her cousin sees them as four marriages...
HE REMARRIED: by an Iowa divorcee; 1907, an unlikely oracular flash
My mother's face took on a sudden expression of astonishment--possibly agony. She said "Your father
is remarrying." I laughed. 'Impossible. He'd have told me. I had a letter from him only a few days ago..."
HIS DEER WIFE: by Wayan; 1995/7/9, a dream of love in a parallel world.
I'm a slave, a scribe in the house of a Captain of the New Aztec Empire, when he brings home a wife...
CAUTION: SLAVE SOCIETY, SEX, SPOUSAL ABUSE/NEGLECT
I DREAM OF... ME: by Linda Medley; 1990 or 91, a dream-comic, the seed of Castle Waiting
I wake in a hobbit-hole. My love looks worried. What's wrong with me? A badger
takes me to see wizard Sean Connery, who gives me feathers to eat, and I become...
I THOUGHT HE LIKED ME: by Wayan; 1994/8/16, a dream of rejection... or worse.
I join the Seattle Tribal Council, which of course means marrying them all. The husband I'm to sleep with
on our Council Honeymoon seemed to like me, till he pulls that practical joke...
CAUTION: GROSS!
I WANT MY INHERITANCE: by Wayan; 1989/12/18, a dream on family brainwashing.
My family calls me a blonde bimbo and won't give me my inheritance, so I take drastic steps...
CAUTION: MORAL HAIRSPLITTING
THE ILL-FORMED TALE: by Wayan; 160K, 1981/4/7, a wild dream anti-epic.
To reach the Peak of Happiness on the Isle of Dreams, I must pass four Perils--but they're all backwards...
CAUTION: RELIGIOUS NUTS, KNIVES, NUDE ALIENS, BACKWARD PLOT...
JACKPOT: by Catshall; 2007/5/29. A dream on sex, art and change--a flood of change!
How did my bondage dream turn into a slot-machine jackpot? And what kind of change is pouring out?...
CAUTION: (CON)SENSUAL BONDAGE
JESSICA THE MERMAID: by Jessica, mid-1977, dream-provoked dream
At a dream workshop for kids, James's trickster dream-figures provoked Jessica to dream one chased her;
fleeing, she jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, became a mermaid, and married the trickster...
JUNG'S DENIAL: by Wayan; 1994/12/16, a journal extract on Jung.
Jung's dreams and interpretations show he's a thing-guy not a people-guy. All that architecture!...
LION RIDER: by Jo Equinity; c. 2000?, an anticipatory consoling dream
I dreamed I was riding a lion. A few days later, when my husband suddenly left me, I recalled the dream and...
LIZARD HUSBAND: by Xanthe, 1990/8/30; a nightmare marriage.
I visit the underworld court of the Lizard King, but I can’t leave: he makes me Queen...
CAUTION: MARITAL RAPE (NON-GRAPHIC)
LONG ROAD TO HEAVEN: by Edwin Muir; 1920, an epic hypnogogic shamanic initiation
Creatures in the primal sea touch my third eye, dragons cry their eyes out, I fight the Sphinx, and arrive at last in...
LUNAR WEDDING: by Wayan; 1987/2/5, a poem of a surreal futuristic dream
I'm at a fancy wedding on Mars, I think, but slowly realize
the black sky and huge blue ball mean this lawn is on...
...the Moon. In the open. What are we breathing? Well... old money, I think.
THE MARRIAGE BOUNCER: by Wayan; 1995/6/5, an ironic dream prediction.
My sister Althea sets herself up as the judge of whether I can go to a wedding...
MARRY MY SHADOW: by Ann Faraday, c.1972, recurrent nightmares ending in a wedding
In nightmares I was stalked by a big ugly bruiser. At last, I faced him, asking "What do you want?"
He asked for my hand. His animal energy attracted me, and despite my doubts I said yes...
THE MOUNTAIN, THE MAGPIE AND THE ROAD: dreamed 2013/3/26 by Rustling Leaves; epic nightmare
I visit a beautiful artificial mountain with loved ones--but my demons overwhelm me one by one.
CAUTION: SUICIDAL FEELINGS, BODY HATE/FATPHOBIA, IMPLIED RAPE
MUTANT WEDDING: by Lisa Shea; 1991/8/3; an epic Jungian action dream!
I hide a chip of secrets from thugs, fight a running light-gun battle, and hide in my workplace's
crawlways, amid live cables and pipes. As the factory burns, I run a gauntlet of goons. A girl
leads me into the underworld. Fires glow and mutants dance. I marry the leader of the pack.
MY PET MONSTER: by Katie Hofgard; 2005/5/17?, an erotic nightmare
I'm a sexy monster, but my sister sells me to the Devil as his bride...
CAUTION: SEXY CREATURE, ROTTEN SISTER
MY THREE HUSBANDS: by Wayan; 1981/2/26 & 1991/5/26, dreams drawn as a 15-page comic
I'm three women at once! We marry a unicorn, a goat philosopher,
and a magic talking cat. But cops raid our furry commune...
CAUTION: INTERSPECIES MARRIAGE, TEEN SEX, BAD COPS
NEWT WEDDING: by Emily Joy; spring 1995, a six-year-old's epic dream
Through wild jungles and over the Mattress Mountains, I lead a giant purple newt to love...
NO TRAVELER RETURNS by Nancy Price; 1948/2/2, a predictive dream
I don't love my husband, so I'm stranded in the hotel between life & death, from which...
OLDER AND YOUNGER: by 'Rasselon'; 2009/11/17, a dream of erotic deviousness
The older sorceress I'm in bed with plans to marry me off to a younger woman, but I distract her with my tongue...
CAUTION: BEDROOM HUMOR
OSMAN'S DREAM: by Osman I, founder of the Ottoman Empire, 1280?, a predictive dream
The moon rises from my friend's body, and sinks into mine. Then
a great tree grows from my body, covering much of the world...
CAUTION: ORAL TRADITION AT BEST
OTTER MEDICINE: by The-Fringe, a Crow healer, early 1850s; a shamanic dream with physical effects
I slept on an island in a scalding hot spring, praying for a dream. I got one--and woke up on the shore...
PEARL RING: by Ruth M. Bedford, 1938; 3 predictive dreams
I dreamt I stepped on my engagement ring and crushed its pearl. Next I dreamt ink stained it.
Then I dreamt it fell in the sea, and the brine dissolved it. Then the telegram came: my fiancé...
POEM COMPOSED IN SLEEP: by Lidian Emerson, 1867, a lyrical love poem.
Will you walk in the fields, love? / Let us be gone.
The tall grass will wave to thee / Fairest one...
PRINCESS LILY: by Dou Xun, as told by Pu Songling; before 1679: recurring psychic dreams, or fiction?
Dou dreams he marries Lily; when a monstrous snake attacks her huge family, he reluctantly hosts
them all... when he wakes, they turn out to be bees driven from their hive by a (very real) snake...
QUADRUPLE WEDDING: by Wayan; 1995/5/15, a unifying dream.
Day: Why did I get sick from figure-sketching? Guilt?
Dream: I'm at a group wedding; shall I wed a dwarf, a feral boy or a horse?
RAPA ITI: by Marc Liblin, 1954-1960s, recurring childhood dreams teaching him an unknown language
Only at age 33 did Marc Liblin at last meet someone who spoke his dream language.
He married her, and moved to Rapa Iti, the only place in the world it's spoken...
RASPUTIN CLAUS: by "Sally Anne", 1990s?; a warning dream
Bob is at the window asking to be let into my house. He is dressed as Santa Claus; but I think he's really...
CAUTION: MURDER ATTEMPT
SILKY'S WEDDING: by Wayan; 1988/1/6, a dreamtale.
Silky, my often-animal anima, leads me into a strange pagan church where we get married at last...
SKINK WEDDING: by Wayan; 2018/3/9, an out-of-lizard-body dream poem
I get assigned a life as a skink. Eat flies, mate, do my lizard pushups, but
behind my daily mind, my soul gets so bored it finally flies out...
SUNLIGHT'S THE CURE: by Wayan; 1990/12/29, a surreal, sexy dream
I find the cure for an alien plague, then visit its homeworld, to find it has a curious variant...
CAUTION: SEX CUSTOMS OF THE NEWT PEOPLE! MY COUSIN'S GAY WEDDING!
THIEF OF DREAMS: by Wayan; 1996/11/29, a sexy soul-swap dream; a 22-page comic (or text w/pics)
I was a mermaid trying to find Count Coyote's stolen dreams, so I could marry my human girlfriend...
CAUTION: NUDITY, SEX, LESBIAN MARRIAGE, ANTI-FUNDAMENTALISM
TIGER HONEYMOON: by Wayan, 1987/3/16, a dream of a trickster
I buy a charming ruin in the woods. Newlywed tigers prowl! The tiger bride
tells me "He expects predictability. But I'll show him what a tiger really is..."
TITANIC NIGHTMARES: by J. C. Middleton; 1912/4/3 and 4/4, two predictive dreams saving two lives
I saw the Titanic go down and people struggling frantically in the water. After my second nightmare I told my wife...
TWO GUITARS: by Marc Ian Barasch, c. 2000; a multileveled psychic dream
I dream my daughter's selling two unused guitars. They seemed symbolic until I told her the dream and...
UNIVERSITY OF THE SIERRA: by Wayan; 1975/10/30, a pun-studded dream poem
Jealous of newlyweds, I grind my teeth. But the Ice Age ground the Sierra's granite teeth, and they're lovelier for it...
A WIFE OR A GHOST: by Justin Masi; 2014? a surreal dream-painting-prose-poem on grief
My sister's fiancé Billy died a year ago. I didn't realize how deep the grief ran till I dreamed...
WOLF EXOGAMY: by Wayan; 2010/12/19; a furry dating-advisory dream
A dream of human and wolf people intermarrying provokes both a sculpture and a more wolfish attitude...
YAKETY YAK: by Wayan; 1984/5/1, a dysfunctional dreamtale.
I'm at a family dinner. Killer Grampa, kid-hating Ma, larcenous Dad. Then a bum offers some advice...
YUPPIE BREAKUP: by Wayan; 1991/5/22, a dream on values--or the lack thereof.
A yuppie idealist discovers her boyfriend's a cheerful opportunist, and they disentangle their lives...
CAUTION: SEX IN REVERSE


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