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My Grandmother and Mother when Young

Portraits, pencil, 2000, by Wayan.

I'm inexperienced at portraiture; take my word for it, their photos look better.

They were both gifted (Stanford grads), and both were beauties who look rather feline to me. Come to think of it, though my sisters were quite different in personality, they too shared these three traits. Beautiful, feline, and very, very smart...

And I'm still drawn to gifted beauties with a feline look; I have trouble even noticing ordinary women.

I wonder... did the intelligence and sheer glamor of my female relatives set a hopelessly high standard? Did my incest feelings grow partly from the reality that few outsiders could compete? No matter how neurotic we got, the fact remained that a family where EVERYONE'S gifted is hard to see past. For it's hard to leave an oasis if all you see beyond is desert...

Wayan's Grandmother and Mother when Young
THE ROAD OF MY LIFE: 64K, 1999.
The white road is my life history, told in women: friends, lovers, relatives, ancestors--and one past life.

ROAD Detail: FRIENDS AND LOVERS: 33K, 630 x 390.
Friends, and lovers, and some who got away. And the big question mark: who's next?

ROAD Detail: SISTERS, COUSINS, NIECES: 52K, 450 x 680.
Go back, wrong way, says the sign, not because the past is dead--because it isn't...



LISTS AND LINKS: family - beauty - genius and giftedness - incest feelings

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