My girlfriend Silky develops a slow, elaborate plan to take revenge on a big fat man. I'm unsure just what he did so long ago--but it was terrible, and apparently when the cops came, they believed him and blamed the victim. It's been eating at her ever since. So on D-Day, she plans to shoot him. She has a gun and an elaborate plan to re-enact the circumstances to remind him of his wrongs, then execute him once he faces his crime.

But a friend learns of her plot and fears her self-destruction. Doesn't care if Fatso drops dead, but he doesn't want Silky to turn killer. She's letting this guy's crime (and the cops' complicity) ruin her.

I don't know quite WHAT Fatso did, but I do know just WHERE he did it. Double doors opening on a theaterlike space full of bars, mirrors, and sliding panels. A confusing place! Silky's friend lures them both there, and springs a surprise re-enactment on them.

Silky's ready to kill the guy, but has no weapon. Her friend play scene-director, yells "Re-enact it differently!" Silky does, defending herself. Only this time, no cops come to salt her wounds. They run through it several times, with variations.

He hasn't really made amends, and she's still enraged, reliving it--but at least she hasn't killed him. Encouraging! Maybe her vengeance-wave has crested, and now it can run down... though there may be secondary waves to go through.

NOTES NEXT MORNING

• The crime: I've been recalling how I was shunned and bashed in school, but avoided reliving the feelings. I asked my dreams to show me whether I'd come to terms with it... and got my answer. Nope.
• Silky: a recurring dream-friend who doesn't hold grudges. If she can't let it go, it was really bad.
• The dream guy: looked like my worst tormentor when I was 12-13. A big awkward fat kid who fit the profile for an abused kid himself, though back then I didn't know or care. He bullied me and I didn't care why.
• The cops sided with the perpetrator: my daily reality in middle and high school. I was younger, smaller, harassed and beaten; rather than protect me, my parents and teachers looked away--or blamed me. "You provoked him by having a bad attitude. By being small and weak. By being alone..." ("you wore the wrong skirt, you provoked him..." no wonder I identify with girls!)
• Friend directing re-enactment: unsure if she's part of me or a guardian angel of some sort, but I'm grateful!
• Weird place with sliding panels at the Seattle World's Fair, one pavilion of the Pacific Science Center looked like this. It focused on subatomic physics and relativity.

You CAN go home again! And fix it. Well, tweak it.

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