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BETRAY MY ANIMAL FRIENDS

Dreamed 1999/11/12 by Chris Wayan

Several species of animals have evolved into people. Humans still dominate the world with advanced technology but they're turning godlike and losing interest in the world as they spread into space--and infospace.

I'm with a group who still talk to animal people. But more than that for me. Touch, pet, massage... I feel a definite sexual attraction! This isn't taboo here; we could even marry. Though I haven't committed to any one girl. Feel torn between two or three. No hurry...

Slowly I realize something's very wrong. Our group of animal sympathizers means to encourage them into some kind of behavior that'll destabilize the world's ecosystem. Then a human faction who want COMPLETE data on every creature atom by atom (a process that destroys them) will declare the Earth nonviable and RECORD THE WORLD! It'll become just a digital memory for simming. And we know about this and accept it, rationalize "it's the best for them." We're unwitting agents provocateurs!

I've been raised in this technoculture and share its values and didn't even NOTICE that my (and my friends') love for animal beings conflicts with our plans for them! It's creepy to wake out of my moral sleep, but I have to. Lulled by sexual desire and genuine affection, I'm luring those I claim to love toward eventual destruction.

And what of the pre-sentients--ravens, wolves, a dozen more species evolving bigger brains, nearing the verge of personhood? With help, or just a few millenia left in peace, they too might cross the threshold. Don't they have the right to become people after us? If humans want to abandon Earth, fine, but it's the home of millions of species and they have rights too. I have to stop this!

Wake up shaken that I drowned in warm fuzzy feelings and didn't question my VALUES for so long...

NOTES

The dream echoes Octavia Butler's disturbing books about the Oankali, a race biologically driven to swallow whole worlds' bio-resources to reproduce themselves. They rationalize the destruction by recording all the genetic codes of the creatures they cheat of a future. They too feel affection and sexual attraction for local people, even intermarry--but lie to their native lovers, hide their genocidal plans. Butler is of course talking about colonialist and racist and sexist attitudes lurking in us... or people we know.

Fear I'll hurt those I'm attracted to = Saw a Delia's catalog today (fashion for teens), and thought some of the girls in it looked hot. But they're under-age, and I worried that I'm a pedophile, that I'll fall in love with a girl who's too young and hurt her without even realizing... Although... I was also troubled by the hypocritical VALUES I saw in that catalog--flippant little quotes like "I wish I lied better. I wish I didn't have to." My dream thinks ideas like "I have to lie" are more perverse than pedophilia, than statutory rape!

Why ANIMAL people? Because... I betrayed my body today! Hungry, but slow to cook and eat. Then I wrote music too long--denying my body rest or exercise. My mind acted like an Oankali, a benevolent colonial master who knows better than those lazy natives.

ACTION: quit worrying about my urges and feelings--it's my VALUES AND DISCIPLINE that are toxic!



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