I fall in love, defying kidnappers, dwarf-tossers and
Toulouse-Lautrec, until I become a time-traveling bunny...
CAUTION: SEX, SHAMANISM, DWARF-TOSSING (LAUTREC!)
I dream of an airplane with a born-again pilot. I challenge him:
"just because you're rich doesn't mean you can run things"...
A witch & I duel with blades of spiral horn. But we both just want
to create an utterly truthful oracle. Can't we find a way not to fight?
Our gifted class is on a field trip. Our teacher happily explains we're going to wreck a freeway,
tying up traffic for months, to protest crappy gifted programs...
CAUTION: SLOWEST DREAM INTERPRETATION EVER
I'm touring a gloomy, firelit Victorian mansion filled with icons and idols from every
faith in the world, while this funny theme song loops in my head. What is that song?
CAUTION: MUSLIM RANTER; EMBARRASSING SONG
After reading a booklet of dreams about money by Wayan, Althea has four such dreams of her own
challenging family ideas of class, gender, inheritance... and then practical investment advice!...
Sex-and-violence is one word in America, because our ratings system TEACHES us to link them...
CAUTION: THE F-WORD AND SENSIBLE IDEAS
Canals and locks. American soldiers find an underground village and force everyone to evacuate to
a warship, "for safety". The villagers turn into birds so if it's a trap they can escape. Next morning...
CAUTION: ESP, GUNBOAT DIPLOMACY
I was always the weakest magic-worker I knew. But when demons threatened my grandchild...
I'm a schoolkid in the future who finds an ancient book the censors somehow missed...
I see parasitic spirits sickening their human hosts. Can't get rid of them, so I try to teach them how to
keep their hosts healthier. An angel suspects I'm a necromancer, and shows up armed for a shootout...
CAUTION: DISTURBING PREMISE, LOWBROW ANGEL
A night of gorilla-guerillas, feminist backlash among wolves,
and horse-ballerinas, first in chorus lines, then a sexy soloist...
DREAM: to stop an idiotic bout of war-fever, I have to take on the power of the Goddess herself...
NEXT DAY: I stumble on a fantasy book, Ariel, full of details straight out of the dream...
THAT NIGHT: I sign the Unicorn Commitment, but personalize the magical contract...
CAUTION: DISSES REAGAN & SOUTHERN MASCULINITY
The government has a harsh policy on armed dissidents. Not the kind of arms you think...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE
I am arrested in Tunisia, essentially for being Jewish, despite my pro-Palestinian sympathies.
My main regret: I face years of dirty socks...
Anselm dreams God orders King William's death by an arrow of fire; the
King dreams his blood covers the sun. Waking, he mocks a third man's ominous
dream, goes hunting, and dies bloodily at sunset, an arrow in his heart...
Fires erupt all over the Bay Area, but people I meet (and the news) just say "global warming." No!
It's no warmer than normal and those fires are in lines! Arsonists are driving around, torching...
CAUTION: POLITICAL READING
There's a rare dream-type that can change reality itself. I study its EEG trace. Can I learn to do it?...
I'm arguing with musicians--what's better, music that serves your goals, or purely great music...
I'm bored in class. Draw sexy furries. The babydykes by me do too! Art'll summon the girls we want...
CAUTION: PHILOSOPHY! OH NO!
JFK and Marilyn as our gender archetypes point out the real gender gap: lifespan, not votes!
CAUTION: LANGUAGE, BUT I GUESS IT'S TOO LATE NOW
I'm in a cafe in Narnia when the lion-god Aslan attacks a giraffe for the mortal sin of
dating a zebra. And why not? Oral Roberts University just banned interracial dating...
CAUTION: CRINGEWORTHY CHRISTIANS
My family and I are prisoners in a camp that will be H-bombed so our remains
can be studied. I write a Buddhist poem preparing for death...
CAUTION: GOVERNMENT ATROCITY
The modern Aztec Empire is as bad as Anglos toward other Indians, for it's not poverty that hurts...
An old actor tells me "I met Hitler when we were both babies.
I knew what was coming so I wanted to kill him, but then I'd BE him..."
I pass a jogger with her upper torso twisted 180 degrees round, unable to see straight...
CAUTION: DISSES IGNORAMUSES--YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. OH WAIT, YOU DON'T.
No matter who I dream I am, twin secret agents dog me, eating my soup, playing my games...
CAUTION: PHILOSOPHY!
I'm in a cafe listening to a world-famous musician. He wanders the tables
begging for spare change as businessmen talk over his signature song...
CAUTION: TRUMP AND COVID, SIGH...
The Prime Minister of England breaks my nose, so I become a flock
of squirrels to seek revenge. But maybe I should I let it go...
Since I'm half-unicorn, my ambition drives me to share power and help the whole
herd--that's how unicorns rise. But among human politicians...
Night. Home alone. A huge bear breaks in! To defend myself, I have
a chainsaw. Curiously, an electric not a gas-powered chainsaw...
Parasites, Rambo, huge fetus-beets, an exhibitionist and a living statue advise me on my love life...
CAUTION: NUDITY
My take on IQ, racism, Murray and Herrnstein's notorious book, and the theory of multiple intelligence.
As an (ex)child prodigy it's not theoretical for me: broken hearts, broken trust, broken ribs...
CAUTION: LONG WORDS, RAMPANT ELITISM, GENIUS SHOPTALK
My neighborhood becomes a Huck Finn Eden after global warming turns it into a tropical island...
CAUTION: NUDITY, AMBITOPIA
As humans settle infospace, will we cheat other species trying to evolve into people?
Are we already doing it? Admiring & documenting creatures we've written off as doomed?
CAUTION: NUDE CREATURES; DISTURBING PREMISE
In the future, books morph as they crawl round the web, till just the popular bits are left...
CAUTION: YOU TOO COULD BE CENSORED
The Evil Librarians drop a 19th Century book-character on my head--a blue-skinned paranoid!
He tries to kill me with a trident missing one prong... a Bident? Oh, no! He's Joe B...
CAUTION: DIM VIEW OF TWO 2020 CANDIDATES
DREAM: Millions of birds were at war, tearing one another apart. It was out of control, thousands and thousands...
DAY: Pinochet's coup took Chile. Alerted by the dream, Painemal went into hiding and lived--unlike thousands...
CAUTION: EXTRAPOLATIVE OR PSYCHIC?
George Bush leads a hill-tribe raid against the hill-tribe led by Osama bin Laden... and I'm stuck between...
CAUTION: ANTI-HEROES, POLITICAL PREDICTION
At 17, Xiao Dao dreamt he rode a black dragon as the sun set. A dream interpreter said sunset
meant the end of the Liao Song dynasty, and that Xiao Dao would rise to found the next dynasty...
by Wayan; 2002/5/29 - 2004/5/11, a diagnostic, predictive dream-series; Bleeding Heart as comix
A tree-girl moves to Hollywood to make film deals, but jealousy stabs her...
CAUTION: BLOODY ASSAULT, GAY DRYADS, MUTANT NUDITY
Would the Revolutionaries in the Basement really blow up the Committee of Idealists upstairs?
CAUTION: MAD BOMBERS! WELL, GRUMPY ONES
I'm a wizard chasing crooked politicians in a big city. They have a car, I hop a trolley--
only on the astral plane it's a giant blue millipede, and...
CAUTION: RECKLESS DRIVING, THEFT OF PUBLIC MILLIPEDE
I'm trying to bathe, but there are Boat People in the tub!
And my inner Grandma's spying on me, behind her fan...
Hawk Girl and Pearl Dragon sing a love-duet on the joy of allergies...
If artists do this with ink, what makes you think genetic engineers will do any better with flesh?...
CAUTION: DON'T DO THIS AT HOME
The world's first all-bulemic band, Veronica and the Vomits, provokes a riot at our local punk club. So I go to
Anorexic Bootcamp where models learn self-defense under fire, as calories and fat jokes whiz by...
CAUTION: BARF, HORNY ANOREXIC, FOOD FIGHT
The gods of our cave-past and star-future fight over us--using us, of course. After I see the toll it's taking on a
bonobo buddy of mine, I decide to bring the war back home, and go gunning for God--BOTH of them...
CAUTION: APES AND EXPLOSIVES DON'T MIX
Tax-funded child prostitution ends war--sex calms men down from
mean chimps to nice bonobos. Rough on street kids, though...
CAUTION: SEXPLOITATION, SATIRE HARSH AS JONATHAN SWIFT. UNICORNS, TOO!
We're slaves on the moon. But we're slowly stretching our freedom in the shadows, undoing the Braid of...
Mobilization, war, troop transport, slogans, marching bands and orgies, all in an apotheosis of dough...
CAUTION: ENDS IN SEX
I meet William F. Buckley and his beloved pet pig. Only
the hog's a live H-Bomb, and the leash is a trigger...
CAUTION: REVOLTING GUY, PET, AND ISSUE
I was led into the future, where all the buffalo disappeared, to meet a frail old man by a ranch house...
I'm Bugs Bunny. I torment Daffy Duck till I learn that in many time-branches the New
Deal happened late... or never. I decide to prod a reluctant Franklin Delano Roosevelt...
CAUTION: FIRESIDE PETTING, DUCK TORTURE, BAD POLITICS
Businessmen grow snouts or short trunks and their necks stretch.
They drive VW Beetles with the sunroof open. Works in summer, but...
Plutarch says Caesar dreamt of sex with his mother; it was interpreted as "you'll take the motherland". So he crossed the Rubicon...
But Suetonius says he dreamed it way earlier, at age 33, after seeing a shrine to Alexander (who died at 33); Julius felt inferior...
CAUTION: INCEST; DREAM USED FOR PROPAGANDA
I'm lost in the angry streets of Cairo. But I meet a goth-girl with moth-antennae:
a jinni who's working for longterm change. She takes me home...
CAUTION: MOTH NUDITY
The night before Caesar's assassination, he dreamed he flew above the clouds and met Jupiter;
his wife Calpurnia dreamed he'd be stabbed, and begged him not to go out, but politics...
VERY mixed media--the boat is warped wood. And the story is warped more...
CAUTION: SEX, SHAME FROM EARLY TRAUMA
No more token canaries--the all-canary workforce, that's us. Let's see if these products are toxic...
CAUTION: ANTI-CAPITALIST
I snorkel over time-reefs to an era of talking animals--but why crash on the head of rocker Suzi Quatro?
Two giants wrestle in the Chinese mountains. Who'll win, Red or Yellow? But when I wake...
I meet a giant psychic baby feared by 12-step people. So I go to the beach and find
I'm a shark-bit girl who can have her missing chunks sewn back in--if I still have room for them...
What my home town will become, if you fools keep burning gas and spewing CO2...
A guy smashes homes with a duckbilled train; gunmen shoot up shops near the tracks.
The ensuing civil war burns all. Years later, we live on hardscrabble farms. Global Texas!
CAUTION: GLOBAL TEXAS!
We don't face Huntington's Clash of Civilizations. This is a world war--inland reactionaries attack tolerant coasts.
CAUTION: POLITICAL IDEAS, POLITICAL RAGE
I'm in the Mideast. No wonder it's a war zone--it's a vast pit BUILT for war!
But a spiral stair leads slowly out, to...
Hillary Clinton and George W. Bush were having a secret love affair, and I was sharing their bed...
Clouds wake up. Maybe they were always aware, but now they're aware of us. And rage against us all.
Oh, humanity'll survive. But easy times are over...
CAUTION: PARTISAN INTERPRETATION
I'm a woman trapped in a Sahara refugee camp. The only way out is to marry a rich jerk.
Try to escape but fail. Now an enemy out to kill me takes over. I have to turn and fight...
CAUTION: HARSH ON BOTH TRUMP & BIDEN
I escape a dark cell, cram with friends into a car and co-drive to LA, steering along with a woman in my lap...
CAUTION: EITHER SEX SYMBOLISM, OR SOMETHING MORE SUBVERSIVE
Hong Kong's not devolving to China, but to Faerie. As governor, I have to defend human rights, so...
After a day of medical mess-ups, I dream whites routinely cheat super-fast Native American pony couriers,
till the riders demand showy down payments called Contract Cloaks. Now cheats'll get publicly exposed...
Suddenly I see the notion of "cool" as just another Euro theft. Being cool shouts "I'm insecure"...
I visit a world of ravenish people, the Corvi, who banished their longtime
partners, the wish-granting Fey, calling them parasites. I decide to meddle...
I dream an economist admits not only that eco-regs pay off, but that economic theory is faulty. Dream on!
The pecking order (goring order?) of cows explains why our leaders stink...
I'm Coyote, keeping the Business Prophet from taking over Dante's Peak. But it turns too personal...
CAUTION: IDIOTIC VIOLENCE
I saw a man riding across the face of a lake. Bullets and arrows flew at him, but all missed.
He reached the shore. Men who looked like him rose from the ground, and pulled him down...
CAUTION: GENOCIDE DIRECT, GENOCIDE BY PROXY
The House of Comics has a shabby annex jammed with self-publishers.
We make a human ladder and climb out a high window, but I don't fit;
as the tenement collapses, I must smash the windowframe to free...
In endangered woods I meet deer with bold black-and white feather crests.
Higher up, it's barren--a hard winter. But I taste a medicinal blue-black fruit...
I tended my spirit, not my career. So now I have to guard a crimeboss at a theft convention...
CAUTION: INEVITABLE CHEKHOVIAN SHOOTOUT
I find the feminist principle "the personal is political" leads to some alarming consequences for privacy...
CAUTION: POLITICS
Happy beer drinkers from the Now invade the Tower of the Future.
Eggheads find idiots as lovable as kittens, and just can't eject them...
CAUTION: ELITIST; DISSES TRUMPISM
How my dad got onto the board of directors and made the organization his own...
I'm a protester in Dallas, fighting Reagan's cops. A werewolf kills two of them.
I may be its real prey; is police harassment distracting the wolf from me?
CAUTION: VIOLENCE AND DISTURBING PREDICTION
I dreamed of South American musical intrigue in a grand hotel. Enter a polka-dot shapeshifter...
I'm trying to prevent a race war, but can I kill someone I admire? And if so, can I live with it?
CAUTION: RACISM, VIOLENCE, INTENSE GUILT
A woman loses patience with sexual harassment in an Air Force training program, and
stages a die-in. But why's she wrapped in an orange towel, why a dart in her chest?
CAUTION: TROUBLING REAL-WORLD AFTERMATH
I die young, to get it over with, like chickenpox. As I slowly revive, I face bias against the dead. So..
An endless parade of drowned sailors sing a dirge. The dreamer woke in tears. Then the news arrived.
Chapter 1 of a nine-story series: UNICORN TAG.
A sentient factory shows me a gene-tweaked future where the Deer Party agitates for
liberty, equality and fertility. In that future I learn I too may not be human...
A gang of slavers catch my family. I flee on a bike but it breaks down. Stranded. Replay! This time I have a gun...
CAUTION: GANG, SHOOTING
A Queen Bee devil kidnaps my grandniece; I kill her to free the child. Turns out even Hell's leaders are relieved.
She returns as a satanic housing developer. Slicker this time, but just as crooked. Must I kill her again?
CAUTION: DEVILS, VIOLENCE (NONGRAPHIC)
Our Appalachian town revolts against fundamentalists, but brainwashing takes time to undo...
CAUTION: SEX AND INJUSTICE
A plague begins on terraformed Mars and spreads to Earth. Population biology made it inevitable...
CAUTION: POPULATION CRASH (OFFSTAGE)
Trump wackos bomb the World Trade Center. I flee New York. Morticia Addams puts us up. Inside the
dream, I fall asleep. When I wake I ask "was the attack a dream?" Morticia says it was smaller. I try to
write it all down on my bedsheet, but the ink spreads. I wake again, sure I need to wash the sheet...
Sex in a meadow? A protest march distracts us. But a friend warns me of a disease, Coitus Distractus...
CAUTION: (DISTRACTED) SEX
I get bullied into dogwalking. A biter--leaves a cat bloody. You'd think a talking dog'd listen. But Cheney...
We were on a train headed for a crash. No one was in the engine. Rather than jump, my friend insisted we try...
DREAM: On a farm, I meet two sexy shapeshifting sisters. But mushroom clouds rise on the horizon...
NEXT DAY: at SF-MOMA, Susan Marie Dopp's paintings: shapeshifting sisters, mushroom clouds...
CAUTION: NUDITY; ESP
Two kids I grew up with are dead. We carry their still-smoking corpses by the home of George Bush...
CAUTION: BURNT BODIES
In Old Palmyra, I stumble on a dragon-hoard. Wizards and caliphs hunt me--how to get out
of town? Magic carpet? No. I put on a brown coat, borrow a delivery bike, and slowly pedal...
The police confiscate my therapist's copies of my dreams, and try me for obscenity! So why do I help?...
I'm worried an alien charity is brainwashing an ex-prostitute. When I wake, she's still there--at 2/5 scale!...
The Duke complains things just aren't what they were. As I hear what he liked, I'm increasingly...
America isn't the Melting Pot. It's the Humping Pot...
CAUTION: THE BEAST WITH 300,000,000 BACKS
The Emperor dreamt he was eating dirt. He feared it was a metaphor for
death. Wrong. No metaphor! Soon after, his enemies suffocated him in dirt...
CAUTION: BRUTAL
Mute, paired images, contrasting life with the death we're spreading. And then finally the dream speaks:
CAUTION: READ THE TITLE AND GO SABOTAGE SOMETHING!
I asked my dreams to show me my Shadow--what I deny. It showed me at least FIVE! And in every
time-branch, a runaway truck crushed me--the Truck of Ideology. Not that I seemed able to avoid it...
CAUTION: RECURRING DEATHS
King Ethelfrid bribes Redwald to turn over his guest, Edwin. Edwin dreams an angel warns him, swearing to save him if
he'll convert. Redwald's wife tells him "Don't betray a guest." Once Edwin's king, that dream-angel demands his fealty...
CAUTION: SHODDY SPIRITUAL BARGAINING
In a field in the Central Valley, I face the Terror of California...
CAUTION: FIENDISH LEFTIST PROPAGANDA
In a world of hideous haircuts (flagging your politics) I meet a dragon
running for office. But is this real or a dream? Both/neither! It's...
In between drawing devil-bunnies, I advocate letting doomed fringe candidates donate their votes
to more viable colleagues, letting voters express their real choices, not vote for the lesser evil...
CAUTION: POLITICS!
A logging war in the northern forests is confused by subjective realities. Am I sure what I see is real?
I'm Queen Elizabeth I, but I made a mistake--focused too much on art and culture.
Now, plotters who I overlooked smash in my bedroom door. I snatch a vial of poison...
CAUTION: NIGHTMARE REFLECTS REALITY
Tubman woke ecstatic, unable to eat. "My people are free!" Her host said "My grandchildren may see it; but we will be gone."
"No! I tell you, sir, you'll see it, and you'll see it soon. My people are free! My people are free!" Three years later...
The Emperor of the Galaxy can't publish his anti-slavery book as himself, so he quits to become a slave...
I'm playing 'Drop Me Anywhere' with a friend: I pick the latitude, he picks the longitude.
Can I survive naked one day? I pick the equator as my best bet...
A candidate glad to shake your hand... though not all you voters will want him to...
CAUTION: ANOTHER PRICK RUNNING FOR OFFICE
I'm a delicate little ermine-chinchilla whose best friends are all sewer rats.
They push their food and drink on me, and I nibble to be polite...
Money, power, race and gender stifle my working friends less than hierarchical structures...
Evolution is like baseball--a game of inches, efficiency, constraints. Surely we can do better....
CAUTION: CONTAINS THOUGHT
I'm condemned to die for fighting a regime that's killed my minority with impunity
for centuries. I have no regrets. They'll hesitate now, knowing they too can die...
A woman--Gaia?--leads me up Mt Diablo. Nature preserves--grass, oak, pine. But... all silent. The animals are gone...
CAUTION: ECO-RAGE
Elegant, ancient, the tower rose into the clouds. Inside? Smoke & darkness. Workers roast meat...
A free university just opened in town. The curriculum evolves by natural
selection. Anyone can teach! Should I? Just don't eat the food...
That day, I hid from my batterer Kay. I dreamed I was the only man in a feminist gun class, learning self-defense...
CAUTION: DOMESTIC BATTERING
Lanyi dreamed in detail of the assassination of his friend Archduke Franz Ferdinand hours before it happened...
While my body expels a kidney stone, weird scenes happen on the astral plane. At least I get to dip the pope.
CAUTION: PAIN, PEE, POPE
The boarding school needs to fill in the old Punishment Pit. Not just archaic,
but a threat to every student. So let every student dump clay in & dance on it...
I have 'fire in the belly', so I cheer up--if the magazines are right, I'll be President. But it's just bad food...
CAUTION: BELLYACHING
I'm in the High Plains, at a huge powwow on climate change. This could become, not a new
dustbowl, but a firebowl. As I wake, I find I'm running a fever! And the dream hints what caused it...
I had an epic dream lasting subjective weeks--a true other life. It wasn't Earth and we weren't human.
I was a teenage lemur, sailing with two friends into unknown waters--a rite of passage. One night,
my friends curled round me, I saw I didn't WANT to pass the test, be declared a woman, marry, and have pups.
I loved my girl friends. In a world lacking the very word, I was groping toward queerdom.
Sailing into unknown waters! "Here be dragons," the old maps say. And they were right...
2600K loads slowly? Try it in parts: 1: HOME, 650K, 2: VOYAGE, 1200K, 3: BACK 750K.
CAUTION: NUDITY, SEX, QUEER TEEN ANGST, ANTI-FUNDAMENTALISM
In prison, the midnight bell chimed. I dreamt I saw a cavalry column of men and horses skinned, gory, still marching.
Wagons of the dead passed for hours. As the guard changed, the gate crashed, waking me--just minutes after midnight!
CAUTION: PROVES NOT ALL DREAMS ARE REALTIME
I'm a woman living in a space habitat. A new Napoleon invades us, and damages our life-support.
I fight him--but I'm attracted, too. We need to ally to fight the second invasion...
I can always fly in my dreams, so the military command asks me to levitate across war-torn Belgium as a courier...
The terror of Navy breakfast, the joy of filterfeeding,
how to marry pudding, and a sniper lunch with kisses...
On hearing the election results, a girl at Esalen Hot Springs joyfully dances naked
around me. I heed the dream's prediction about the election, but not about...
CAUTION: NUDITY
I spoke a proverb I’d never heard of when I woke. So I Googled it, and found it had meaning--dark meaning...
CAUTION: TURKISH JINGOISTS WILL NOT LIKE THIS DREAM
A boy offends his uncle the King, who transforms him into a fox. Grounded! But Fox-Boy runs away...
The first thing any beginner does with a paint program is behead someone. Why?
CAUTION: PAINFUL SPLINTERS
To fight the drug trade, cute little blonde cops plant packets on men in the park. And when I resist...
CAUTION: BAD COPS
After a trip to a failing mall, an old Grateful Dead song haunts my dreams. Mall, song; opposite political poles...
CAUTION: HIPPIE/JEFFERSONIAN DEISM
Freddy has plans for me and Telly Savalas's daughter. But to lure us in, he must know what
we want. But what does Freddy want? If we can find out, we might just lure him, too...
With our ignorability spell, our team plans to free the angry Hick from the
Submerged Court. But the Coyote Girls can see us! Will this really work?
Demons of fire invade the house, and the Voice of Truth says they can't be killed. What would you do?
Frida Kahlo's battered sister Cristina dances nude--and gets jailed by the
Office of Homeland Security! Frida protests by painting her in prison...
old Frisco gone, high-rise condos obscure the view: hives for techie...
Two protesters, under the weight of full scuba gear and flippers, waddle toward City
Hall--the first steps of a transcontinental march. Or at least transcontinental waddle...
After reading a fable about a murdered werewolf, I dream a tough old woman
with golden wolf eyes joins our school lunch table, where the furry minority sits...
CAUTION: CRITIQUES SUSAN PALWICK
In a repressive, thought-controlled future I find some old banned books;
I tell my student "Reading these makes life more interesting--and angry..."
The aliens offer us a Galactic Free Trade Agreement, but my friends and I think it's a disastrous deal...
CAUTION: MORAL AMBIGUITY
Gaia appears in a warning vision. However, she's not addressing humanity, but our silver successors...
I'm at a garden-party when They attack. I flee through a garden of swords, but a guard with a bayonet...
I'm a child in a Latin American city who's murdered on the street. Then I'm my brother,
seeking my own murderers. I find the General behind it! Unfortunately...
CAUTION: DYING. DYING TWICE. AND THEN NEARLY AGAIN, AWAKE...
The two commonest sexual orientations have no names, or even concepts! Yet they're obvious, once...
CAUTION: THE TRUTH THAT DARE NOT BE TOLD
At a beach, a man attacks the genitals, buttocks and thighs of a giant who sits half in the surf, ignoring him...
CAUTION: NUDITY, MUTILATION ATTEMPTS
The two great political leaders of the Victorian Age bare their souls to me. Gladstone's ashamed that
he betrayed his ideals; Disraeli dances about, vilifying his loathed rival, but he feels no shame at all...
CAUTION: VICTORIAN PROSE, BAD POLITICIANS
I walk into a Castro fashion shop with Dalí décor--golden underwear draped on branches. And my friends all buy it...
CAUTION: UNDERWEAR JOKES
I'm a girl in a desert who God tells to preach a new gospel. But the locals, unlike ancient Rome, have guns...
CAUTION: VIOLENT MARTYRDOM
I stalk a platoon of levitating surf-bunnies who may be out to bomb a Greenpeace submarine...
I was held hostage in India by courteous revolutionaries who avoided spelling out that we were soon to die...
Two sisters want to lick me all over, but they lick everything; weird gut-fauna make them immune to toxins...
Fairy eggs infest my home--become worms, then tiny horses, then mothwinged hobbits, then adult fairies....
CAUTION: NUDE EQUINES & FAE; PARASITES (OR SYMBIOTES?)
Very nearly a nightmare, till the guard on the beach relented in the face of people power...
I fall for a girl whose charm turns out to be partly her utter lack of worry and guilt--as she lies & cheats!
At last I face facts, and drop her. I end up with a quieter but honest girlfriend, though she too has quirks...
CAUTION: PUBLIC SEX, POLITICAL INTERPRETATION
My part in the revolution in Guinea-Bissau: substantial, but not exactly planned. I just wanted out...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE
Helicopter gunships invade. I repel bullets with pure willpower. But
they too have shields making guns useless. I duel two soldiers...
CAUTION: SURREAL VIOLENCE
The Feds order my friend Mike to hand them a Frenchman we haven't seen in years. Mike substitutes a junk VW...
DREAM: I'm in the Arctic facing a hostile mob. I insist "I'm dreaming; you can't hurt me." They try!
I look down at my body, stuck full of hatchets, and say "See?" They slink off, looking sheepish...
TWO DAYS LATER: I'm in northern England. A reporter snaps "Dreams won't help the miners..."
I can heal people with a touch. But they don't want to be merely restored, but resculpted...
CAUTION: TRANNIES AND FURRIES LEAVE THE CLOSET
A rabbit shaman makes his student drape dead hedgehogs round her neck til she bleeds. How to free her?
CAUTION: FURRY NUDITY, ABUSIVE MENTOR
I was ordered to join Hitler's army. I dreamt a booming voice proclaimed, "This train is going to Hell!" So I...
I’m a homeless elf. We’re a persecuted minority group. I know I’m dreaming and try to change it but...
I climb a small-town water tower. The tank holds a reedy marsh where sentient herons live! They say
the Heartland below them is a nest reserved for greedy, screechy, flightless, half-grown souls like us...
CAUTION: DISSES SMALL-TOWN VALUES
A huge bridge spans the Pacific; my depth perception reaches miles instead of mere yards.
A crowd worships a guru hidden in a tent on a pier. I don't trust him! He has hidden in tent...
CAUTION: THE JONESTOWN MASSACRE
MIKE'S DREAM: A volcano erupts. The lava pours into my hotel...
WAYAN'S DREAM: Our hill erupts in flame from a gas explosion...
Hillary Clinton hid her cancer, but the GOP found out. So a monster kidnaps Rainbow Brite, and...
A poor planet with one city. Urban technocrats and hick ecologists have conflicting development models...
CAUTION: TOO REAL TO BE FUN
I dreamed I blinded myself because mere appearances
lead to racism & sexism. Only the blind know truth...
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY, SEVERE IDIOCY
A book claims Hitler led not a political party but a cult out to apply mystical theories--like Manson! Then I dream...
CAUTION: BIG RANT, SMALL DREAM
It was Hitler. He had a pig face, and he was taking notes. He said
'I want to understand the uses and implications of this amazing technology'...
The gameshow has two old men humping sextoys on the floor as the audience
watched. That wasn't the gross bit. It was when they released the hogs...
CAUTION: OBSCENE GAMESHOW. EVEN MORE THAN USUAL.
I'm a Zen monk riddled with holes from a weird disease the government denies
is real. So as a protest, I stand naked atop a wall and let the air-sharks take me...
CAUTION: SURREAL SUICIDE
Diplomacy's failed. To stop the impending Iranian War single-handed,
I hop like a monster flea across Iran to corner the New Shah...
I'm back in the 19th century, learning that horse breeders cross-bred
more than the public thinks. One suggests I look hard in the mirror...
CAUTION: UNSEEMLY SENATORIAL DISCOURSE
Corruption in my town causes a bizarre death. But is that all? I smell smoke--will the city burn?
I fight to save a nest of 50,000 eggs that'll hatch... psychics!
But my friends want to exterminate them! Who's wrong here?
The latest MeToo meme is to leave a door open at night with a heater on, so a hot-air plume marks
a refuge for women in danger--or, of course, burglars! So I stalk our neighborhood locking doors... CAUTION: DECRIES HOT-AIR NAÏVETÉ
My teacher insists, "You'll be scared too, when you see it." But when he shows us humanity’s greatest fear...
CAUTION: UNSPEAKABLE HORRORS