Dreamed 1994/4/6 by Chris Wayan
The state has put me on trial. A big show trial! They won't say quite what for--some sex crime, though. Obscenity, probably. But what? Bestiality, child pornography, pedophilia? All the above and then some?
Whatever it is, my dream-journals are exhibit A. The cops used a new law to force my therapist to turn over copies of my dream-journals.
I'm being prosecuted for my DREAMS!
But I actually co-operate with the prosecutor in interpreting some ambiguous, faded, blurry passages, in shorthand, in Chinese characters. You see, I WANT to have the jury read all the evidence. My case will not dispute the states of mind the journals reveal. I intend to horrify the jury by luring the state into showing what it's become: a group hungry to snoop through your dreams and jail you for them! For I'm just a test case. If I can be convicted, so can anyone--so can you.
So why dispute the content of my dreams? I won't hide a thing. I need not be ashamed. They should be. They've wronged me in three different ways: violated my privacy, my freedom of speech, AND my freedom of religion--for I'm a shaman, and dreams, no matter how bizarre, are my religious practice--a holy act.
NOTES NEXT MORNING
My mom called yesterday. It was awkward--she kept prompting me to say nice things about relatives I don't like. She desperately wants me to feel what I don't--or at least fake it.
Am I uncomfortable giving copies of my recent dreams to my therapist? Maybe I should check with her, see if someone else could have read them or something. When I grew up the confidentiality of therapy was a legal absolute. But that's been eroding.
The next night I dream again my privacy's violated! And again it's an institution after me. What's going on here?
Then I realize--exactly one year ago, the leadership of the Bay Area Dreamworkers Group was secretly trying me in absentia and banning me--without even telling me I was accused of something, let alone giving me a chance to answer the accusations against me (which, as it happens, were wrong). I spun into quite a depression till I realized it was quite possibly all coming from one person who didn't like me, not the whole leadership.
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