I'm stuck waiting on a streetcorner outside my dad's new home. He went on a short trip--a family emergency, taking someone to the doctor--and will be coming back and I'm supposed to meet him after. The street looks a bit like Potrero Avenue by the shopping center, but it's gone--just a row of Victorian homes, clearly there for the last century or more. My dad lives in... the corner phone store!?

Bored, bored. I amble downhill. Watch strange little dramas on those big Victorian porches, and watch women pass, jogging to and from the Nautilus gym down the block.

Here comes a girl in red shorts and a tight orange tanktop, her breasts bouncing over her... butt? Her whole upper torso's swiveled 180 degrees! Not just breasts--her ribs and head are set backward too. Like she's a Barbie doll with a swiveling waist joint... and a twisted owner.

As she lopes up the hill, she has to crick her neck sharply, facing sideways, so she can peer askance at where she's stepping.

Man, that's gotta strain her neck... can't be healthy. How'd she get like that?

A friend of hers, a black woman in a purple tanktop, yells at the jogger from her porch:

"Girl, get your HEAD on straight!"

Good advice, but how do we straighten out these... backward boobs?

NOTES IN THE MORNING

This may not look it, but it's a Highbrow Literary Dream.

In Ursula Le Guin's Always Coming Home (a fascinating portrait of a post-eco-crash tribal utopia--well, mostly utopia), one character has a vision of our Dark Age... when we all ran around with our heads on backwards. The visionary got so resigned to backward boobs that it was quite a shock to finally spot a lone weirdo with her head on... straight.

But in MY dream, most of us were fine. And in an era when backward boobs rule America, I'm encouraged to see my dreams think they're not a majority. Don't despair, Wayan!

Don't you, either.

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