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Dream Humor (A-I) see also J-Z

The page of stupid dream humor. Though of course dream-jokes often have a point. It's our conscious minds that find dream-logic absurd. What intrigues me is how many of these dreams suggest that dreams find our conscious reasoning equally silly.

So ask yourself while reading these dreams: who's fooling who? Is dream-irrationality what it seems, or are your dreams putting you on?

Historical footnote:
Christmas Eve, 2000. Wayan was short on time, cash, inspiration... presents. Squeaking in desperation, our small mammal set the writing program Word to search the fifteen thousand dreams on Wayan's hard disk for certain keywords: silly, stupid, dumb, funny, and pointless. Numerous dreams short enough to fit in a chapbook were found. Edited, laid out, printed, and wrapped by dawn... a holiday trifle, it seemed at the time.
But along with a parallel experiment called Birth Dreams, that search was the seed of the World Dream Bank.

RELATED TOPICS: dream puns (both visual and verbal) - surrealism - nightmares (it's a fine line, sometimes) - the original book: Catalog: Dumb Dreams - tricksters: coyotes - ravens and crows - rabbits - foxes - See also the full INDEX OF SUBJECTS.

What this site is - Add your dreams! - How to read blurbs - Ratings - Copyright - Downloading - The World Dream Bank has 3300+ dreams plus 1000 more pages on dreamwork, shamanism, surrealism, fantasy, worldbuilding, creativity and genius. Site © Chris Wayan 2001-2013.



ABREAST OF THE COMPETITION: by Wayan; dreamed 2013/10/9, a dream on appeasing others
A tall busty girl's younger, part-unicorn friend starts developing breasts at last. She makes
boob jokes, mocking her own body to reassure her herdmate she's no competition...
CAUTION: SELF-PUTDOWNS
ACORN AND PELT: by Wayan; 1983/7/19, a simple sex dream growing to a mystical extravaganza
I fall in love, defying dwarf-tossers and Toulouse-Lautrec, till I become a time-traveling bunny...
CAUTION: SEX, SIZE DISCRIMINATION AND SLANDER
ADRIAN TRIED: by Wayan, 1991/3/12, an embarrassing dream.
Adrian and Jennifer and Michelle try very very hard to get my attention, but I'm a bit oblivious...
CAUTION: SEXUAL STUPIDITY
AICORN'S BANANA: by Wayan; 2016/6/13, a dream-parable on owning your tastes
An artificial intelligence acquires fans and has orgies with her groupies. Her creators
don't care as long as the advertisers get product placement. But she has this size fetish...
CAUTION: VIBRATORS
AIDA'S TOILET BOAT: by Wayan; 1993/4/7, a psychic dreamtale.
A sexy comedian and her troubles down the drain. A dream that turned out to be true...
THE AIR BURUNDI PAINTINGS: by Wayan; 7 illus., 2007/1/20, a dream of art & courage
Weird paintings cover a hill town in Africa, demanding I paint them when I wake.
Paintings on courage, flight... and defying tradition.
AIRPLANE WITH BORN: by Catshall; c. 2014/11/8, a dream-haiku on American politics?
I dreamt of an airplane with born-again pilot. I challenged him:
"just because you're rich doesn't mean you can run things"...
THE AIRPORT AUTOMATIC PHOTOGRAPHY BOOTH: by Julie Doucet; 1997/11/19, a dream-comic
At the airport, a new automatic photo booth shoots your memories!
Julie can't resist... and emerges, excited, to find that...
ALL-NIGHT BUFFALO CONVENIENCE!: by Wayan; 1995/7/24, an entrepreneurial dream.
A late-night conversation with the proud developer of a new concept in South Asian convenience dining...
ALTARED MANSION: by Wayan; dreamed 2004/10/18, a dream on all the world's religions
I'm touring a gloomy, firelit Victorian mansion filled with icons and idols from every
faith in the world, while this funny theme song loops in my head. What is that song?
CAUTION: MUSLIM RANTER; EMBARRASSING SONG
ALTHEA'S CHICKEN: by Wayan; 1990/3/27, a nightmare-farce.
My sister Althea decides my house has demons, and hires an exorcist who botches things, so that...
AMBIVALENT? NO! (YES!): by Wayan; 1990/1/3. Digital panorama of dreamselves over a lifetime.
A chronological orgy of my self-images from childhood on: horses, geeks, girls, satyrs, boys, monsters...
CAUTION: CARTOON SEX
ANCIENT MARE-KIN GRAVEYARD: by Wayan; 2008/9/1, a dreamsong (MP3+lyrics), Dreamverse #18
I'm a ghost watching future archeologists dig up a site of my people--and get it so wrong...
ANTS AT A PICNIC: by Wayan; 1984/11/16, dream-poem from predictive dreamlet
DREAM: Ants invite me to a picnic. But one of the dishes they serve is--other ants!
NEXT DAY: I'm invited to a picnic. And my friend, munching, says...
CAUTION: BUG-EAT-BUG WORLD
THE APPLIANCE'S EFFECT: by Wayan; 1996/8/20, a teasing little dream.
Why has no one noticed that the side effects of a household appliance violate all known physics?
ARBORETUM CAT: by Wayan; 1999/4/14, an acrylic nondream landscape.
Golden Gate Park's arboretum, in San Francisco, is home to feral cats, skunks, raccoons, people...
ASK ME ANYTHING: by Wayan; 1975/1/31, a backstage dream.
It was a dark and stormy night. I was lost, till I stumbled on God
in her underground control room. God was helpful. Too helpful...
ASTAIRES: by Wayan; 2015/11/17, a dream about... the Web?
A host of Fred Astaires dance mid-air in an endless spiderweb,
then pound on typewriters randomly forever...
THE B SIDE OF THE PENIS: by Wayan; 1996/8/26, a sex dream about reprogramming.
I erase my sexual tape, and start over. Am I male, female, gay, straight? Uh-oh! What SPECIES?
CAUTION: MESSY SEXUAL BOOBOOS
BABY'S COMING: by Bruno Oliveira; late summer 2011, a genderbent dream
I'm very pregnant and feel bloated. My mom says "That's what you get for not using a condom"...
BACKWARD BOOB: by Wayan; 2018/6/17, a grotesque dreamlet
I pass a jogger with her upper torso twisted 180 degrees round, unable to see straight...
CAUTION: DISSES IGNORAMUSES--YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. OH WAIT, YOU DON'T.
BAD DREAM BOOK: by Jim Shaw; late 1994?, a dream calling his dream art lame
I show a friend my book of dream-art, but it's half-baked and embarrassing.
I'm no good at smuggling guns, porn or cash through customs, either...
CAUTION: LOW-RES SMUT IN THAT BOOK
BALEENA'S GAME: by Wayan; 1974/1/26, a surreal dream with a practical point
A whale-spirit marries a poker-player. But her sonar sees too much. Whale-spirits prefer blackjack...
THE BARRINGTON BUNNY: by Wayan; 1988/8/30, a world-saving alien-abduction dream
Alien robots kidnap me... and make me the mascot for a college football team.
But my Channel Changer slowly infuses us all with nerdy trust...
BATMAN'S LOVE: by Wayan; 1996/3/26, a dream-epic of love and time.
A New Age graduation party spurs a wild dream of the spiritual odyssey of Catwoman,
starring Alexander the Great, Batman, God, and Rumi the poet (played by Frank Zappa)...
CAUTION: MORAL RELATIVITY
A BEAGLE, THREE WOLVES, AND A SETTER: by Wayan; 2009/2/6, a dream-poem; Dreamverse #50
Fresh off the Beagle, Darwin meets three wolf-girls, but has distinctly Biblical inhibitions...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, SPECISM, PUNS
BEATING UNCLE FESTER, or, ACHIEVING BILUMIA: by Wayan; 2013/3/31, a stupid telepathic dream
I screw the lightbulbs in my ears again, and this time, they stay. I sit down at the piano, and as I play...
BEET: Five Dreams One Night: by Wayan; 2013/10/30, Halloween dreams as minipoems
Parasites, Rambo, huge fetus-beets, an exhibitionist and a living statue advise me on my love life...
CAUTION: NUDITY
BERRY DANCE: by Wayan; 2009/12/17; a nightmare turns to go-go-dance
My kidnappers were desperate: no jobs. I fled them down the berry chute, to the underground
strawberry factory where engineers in go-go boots did the berry dance--and the berries...
CAUTION: STRAWBERRY FETISH
BERYL BORROWED IT: by Wayan, 1986/3/8, an absurd dream.
My top-heavy friend Beryl borrows my ass and legs to become
a centaur so she won't fall over. But I want them back, so...
CAUTION: CRUDE AND STUPID
BERYL'S DOG DAYS: by Wayan; 1988/1/25, a psychic dream farce.
My friend Beryl wants me to help rob a bank, so she can
cut off her breasts and be a great opera singer...
BIRD ASSASSIN: by Adam Shaw, art by Jesse Reklaw; pre-2000; a no-kindness-goes-unpunished dream
I'm a giant cartoon bird. I had to assassinate a friend--twelve times!
Eleven times I killed him, but I spared him the twelfth. He said...
BLACK DUCKS QUACKED FIRST: by Wayan; 1990/9/13, a dream-farce on Shadows of Greats Past.
My sister & I try to sing an original, but every note summons old jazz greats, leaving us
no musical elbow room! So I quack like a duck. Nope! Giant ducks appear, and say...
CAUTION: RACIAL ANXIETY? GIANT DUCKS!
THE BLACK EGG: by Wayan; 1999/3/25, a comic psychic dream.
My crazy friend Wayne goes bowling for busses with a black egg. Wait! Crazy? Or... predictive?
CAUTION: GEORGIA O'KEEFFE BEHAVES DISGRACEFULLY
THE BLIP: by Wayan; 1982/5/4, a brief surreal dream on... beautyism?
A bubble of spacetime distortion lands in an awkward place,
making people mistrust the unlucky recipient...
THE BLUE MILLIPEDE: by Wayan; 1996/11/5 (Election Night), a political dream.
I'm a wizard chasing crooked politicians in a big city. They have a car, I hop a trolley--
only on the astral plane it's a giant blue millipede, and...
CAUTION: RECKLESS DRIVING, THEFT OF PUBLIC MILLIPEDE
BOB THE TREE: by Catshall; c. 2013/6/21, a dream-haiku on our marriage
I dreamt Bob was a tree-god enthroned in ivy. I said...
BOGNOR MARRIAGE: by Thomas Hood; 1825; a newlywed nightmare
I found a honeymoon cottage by the sea, and the old landlady gave me a very reasonable rate. Everything was fine...
BOIL THE CORD, or, A Dinner Date with the Faerie Queene: by Wayan; 2000/4/27, an anorexic dream
I seek a stolen magic necklace, but end up dating the thief, an elf-queen with STRANGE taste in cookery...
CAUTION: BAD SOUP
BOLLYWOOD LOVE: by Wayan; 2009/4/12, a movie dream (duh!); Dreamverse #51
I dream the universe runs on Bollywood rules. I can stand the constant singing
and breakdancing; what gets under my skin is that Bollywood Code...
LE BON DIEU (Around #2): by Wayan; 1998/7/21; digital portrait of dream-selves.
Soul-Poodle is torn between Le Bone Dieu and Dancing Pussy. Who will our horny dogma chase?
CAUTION: MUTT SMUT
BONK VERONICA: by Wayan; 1997/4/1, 9-page dream-comic on body image
The world's first all-bulemic band, Veronica and the Vomits, provokes a riot at our local punk club. So I go to
Anorexic Bootcamp where models learn self-defense under fire, as calories and fat jokes whiz by...
CAUTION: BARF, HORNY ANOREXIC, FOOD FIGHT
BONOBOCARE, or, THE CHILDREN'S CRUSADE: by Wayan, 2015/8/8, a dream's "Modest Proposal"
Tax-funded child prostitution ends war--sex calms men down from
mean chimps to nice bonobos. Rough on street kids, though...
CAUTION: SEXPLOITATION, SATIRE HARSH AS JONATHAN SWIFT. UNICORNS, TOO!
BOOK OF GOLD: by a four-year-old; pre-1961, an apparent telepathic flash
A woman urged her friend to give her daughter a musical education. Without hearing this, the child went hunting for...
THE BORIS BADENOV SOLUTION: by Wayan; 1989/2/10, a dream of puns.
My evil twin, Boris Badenov, wants $8000 or else. I ask my dreams for a solution, and get one...
THE BOSS'S GUTS: by Wayan; 1993/6/3, a dream on health-sabotage..
Flu. Ow, cramps! But that night I dream of a miner's rebellion against our fat-cat boss. Which side am I on?
BOYS: by Wayan; 1993-99, a gender-equity poem.
When girls get their clits cut, even the UN takes notice. But mutilate boy genitals, and... big yawn!
CAUTION: TALK ABOUT SEX AND VIOLENCE--BUT HEY, IT'S ONLY BOYS
BREAD LIBERATION: by Georges Perec; March 1971, a dream of a lame revolution. Dream #60
Mobilization, war, troop transport, slogans, marching bands and orgies, all in an apotheosis of dough...
CAUTION: ENDS IN SEX
THE BREAST BANDIT: by Wayan, 1984/5/31, an embarrassing dream.
I'm bad. I'm really bad. I know I shouldn't have done it. But my mail-order breasts were late...
CAUTION: BREAST THEFT
THE BRUNDIBAR SEA: by Wayan; 2005/12/18, a mystical manifestation dream
Biking, I stray into the steamy Brundibar Sea. My bike dissolves!
But hot-tubbers explain the Sea manifests what you visualize. Yay! Uh-oh...
CAUTION: MYSTICISM AND HOLOCAUST HISTORY
BUCKLEY'S BLOATED BOMB: by Wayan; 1983/11/20, a political nightmare.
I meet William F. Buckley and his beloved pet pig. Only
the hog's a live H-Bomb, and the leash is a trigger...
CAUTION: REVOLTING GUY, PET, AND ISSUE
BUDDHA BEARS: by Wayan; 1994/12/10. Digital sketch of a dream image I forgot was a dream!
Gosh, I'm speechless. How Zen! Market me at once!
CAUTION: MOCKS RELIGION. OR ADVERTISING. ONE OF THOSE.
BUGS AND ROOSEVELT: by Wayan; 1982/5/2, a wild predictive dream illustrated as an epic poem
I'm Bugs Bunny. I torment Daffy Duck till I learn that in many time-branches the New
Deal happened late... or never. I decide to prod a reluctant Franklin Delano Roosevelt...
CAUTION: FIRESIDE PETTING, DUCK TORTURE, BAD POLITICS
BUNNY INTERVIEW: by Eva Belanger, art by Jesse Reklaw; pre-2000; a guilt-relief dreamlet
Reporters interview my pet rabbit without my permission. Have I neglected her? She says
"Things have been pretty good." I'm relieved, but ask why she never spoke before...
BUSINESSMEN HAVE SNOUTS: by Wayan; 2010/11/15, a dream-poem on climate-denial?
Businessmen grow snouts or short trunks and their necks stretch.
They drive VW Beetles with the sunroof open. Works in summer, but...
BUT OUR CAT...: by Wayan; 1974/2/7, a dream haiku
I'd just gone off to college. I dream I'm back in my quarrelsome family's house--
as they start World War Three in the back yard! But our cat...
BUT THAT'S BESTIALITY!: by Wayan; 1994/10/29, a dream vignette.
In a world dominated by dinosaurs, I get in trouble for publishing a tale of forbidden mammal love...
THE BUTTON IN LOVE: by Wayan, 2009/10/20, two surreal dreamlets on romantic cluelessness
A glowing sentient autistic button falls in love with a small boy; then I try
to make two friends change orientation and fall in love by singing 'Molly Malone'...
CAUTION: JUST... WRONG
CAKE HORSE: by Colleen D. McManus, art by Jesse Reklaw; pre-2000; a surreal warning dream?
The cake horse resented my taking one slice out of him; but he let me.
No second slice, though! He just laughed at me--through his bad teeth...
CAMPION'S WARNING: by Wayan; 1994/6/12, a warning dream--but not warning of what I think.
On the beach, seated at The Piano, director Jane Campion warns
"Avoid Hollywood, they'll snip away at your vision..."
CAPITOL REEF: by Wayan; 1996/1/27. Drawn daydream of a mid-air orgy (or is it mid-water?)
News of a new national park fused with a science show on cleaner-fish spur a fantasy of dolphins, cats and...
CAUTION: FISH ORGY; MOCKS THE ANGEL MORONI, TOO
CAT AND CRAB: by Wayan; 1981/3/12, a dream about teasing?
My cat keeps going into heat and sneaking out for sex with my godmother's pet crab, and...
CAUTION: SEX, BAD PUNS, CRABBINESS
CAT REPELS DINOSAURS: by Wayan, 1984/8/12, a film-inspired surreal dream
DAY: I thorn-puncture my hands while gardening, and write stupid poetry about it...
EVE: I watch Little Darlings, a teen sex farce that turns weirdly serious...
DREAM: a Mysterious Pussy guards us librarians from stinky alien dinosaurs...
CAUTION: SEXUAL INNUENDO???
CECY'S SUBMISSION: by Wayan; 1996/6/4, a bondage-farce dream drawn as comics.
My writer-friend Cecy will do anything to get published. Anything? Oh, believe me, ANYTHING...
CAUTION: BONDAGE, not to mention POSTAGE
CELEBRATE BOTH: by Henry Sultan, 2005/6/26, a painting that blends two dreams
At a snake-weaving party I flirt with my anima, who tells me how the
cake fell off the roof. I think "At last we're really connecting!"...
CELEBRITY ATTACK!: by Pierre Dalcourt, art by Jesse Reklaw; pre-2000; a complex dream on celebrity
As a mob of Hollywood stars beats me up, I ask for autographs--and get them.
I sell the autographs to fund a statue of the beating--but with me smiling...
CELLO CASE: by Jim Shaw; between 1987 & Jan. 1995, an odd dream image
I was going to music camp, but I didn't know how to play my cello.
A teenager and her mother slept like vampires in her giant cello case...
CENTAUR AUDITION: by Wayan; 2012/1/7 and 2012/1/30, two linked Pygmalion dreams
Non-dream centaur ballerinas invade my dreams, because they long to be in the World Dream Bank...
CAUTION: BARBIE CENTAUR NUDITY, CASTING-COUCH OVERTONES
CENTAUR BEACH: by Wayan; 1990. Two images from a set of recurring dreams.
Me and my sisters at the beach. Strangers rarely think we're related, and you can see why...
CENTAUR CIRCLES: by Wayan; 1991. Early digital painting of dream figure
An experiment with digital textures that fascinated me. Not a dream, just feels like it.
CENTAUR: PAULINA AT SUNSET: by Wayan; 1987/12/8, three dream-infused figure studies
Fear anorexia? Gain weight, yet stay slender--be a centaur, like model Paulina Porizkova...
CAUTION: NUDITY; BODY IMAGE/ANOREXIA ISSUES
THE CHAPARRAL OF TIME: by Wayan; 2008/10/21, a timetravel dream-poem: Dreamverse #36
I snorkel over time-reefs to an era of talking animals--but why crash on the head of rocker Suzi Quatro?
CHE FANNO GLI INGLESI?: by William Archer; 1917/7/30, a senseless dream.
To help the King of Italy, I become a baker in Baluchistan--
learning Norwegian, levitating, meeting quaggas, riding landslides...
CHIMP FINAL: by Wayan; 1984/5/19, a dream about failure.
I'm in school on a chimp scholarship and it's time for my final exam...
CHOKING A CAMEL: by Wayan, 1983 (early May?), a grotesque little dream-poem
Freud explains to me why writing's so hard. His explanation is as senseless as his other theories...
CHRISTA'S FUR: by Wayan; 2018/6/9, a smutty spiritual dream-poem riffing on Leonardo's 'Last Supper'?
In an alternate Judea, I long for a female Christ and her lesbian apostles.
My lust is unrequited, till a small Sex Kitten gives me some wise advice...
CAUTION: CAT NUDITY, BLASPHEMY
CLAIRE'S NAMES: by Wayan, 1998/1/11, a dream of love and pushing limits.
My skateboard-riding mermaid girlfriend and I bind ourselves together by the magical power of names...
CLAY AND HOP: by Wayan; 2009/10/30, a dream poem with sketches; Dreamverse #63
I touch the secret soul of a cancer survivor, upsetting her. To apologize, I become a goofy hopping god...
CAUTION: FONDLING SACRED FIGURINES
A CLINTONIAN AFFAIR: by “Kate”; 2008/2/18, a dream of strange political bedfellows indeed
Hillary Clinton and George W. Bush were having a secret love affair, and I was sharing their bed...
CLONE BREAKUP: by Wayan; 1994/2/27, 5p. comic of a psychic dream (or as illustrated text)
I model with ten blonde clones. They want to be seen as individuals, so it's their last fashion show before...
A CLOSE SHAVE!: by Wayan; 1971/11/7, a short poem of a goofy counterfactual dream
An over-eager landscaper mows my dad's new beard, unasked. Debate in court!
Is the art of mowing free speech, or is your face your castle?
COLLISION COURSE: by Wayan; c.1998/5/10; digital sketch of waking life-situation.
Being a hippie artist in San Francisco today feels like being an animal in an African game park...
COLT TABOOS: by Wayan; 1972/3/27, a puberty dream.
A castle with horse statues in the moat. Only... one of them is alive! He's my lover...
CAUTION: EVERY SEX TABOO YOU CAN THINK OF
COMETS STRUCK MY GIRLFRIEND: by Wayan; a 1998/8/9 dream painted on a 12" record.
I knew my new girlfriend was the large economy size but I didn't realize she was a gas giant until...
CAUTION: FLATULENT PLANETARY NUDITY
THE CONCHES: by Wayan; 1996/5/23, a dream on how dreams view the waking mind.
A visit to the Conches, a strange race of molluscs who are people only seasonally...
THE CONDEMNATION: by Georges Perec; Feb. 1972, a dream of cults, persecution, and timeslip. Dream #105
I'm on vacation, but cultists lick my feet--then turn on me, casting stones. But they miss.
So I wander the steppe for centuries, until I come to the City of Texas...
CONDOMS OR CONDIMENTS?: by Wayan, 1990/2/25, a sex-farce dreamlet with serious advice
After seeing Christina Applegate in Married with Children, I dream I'm in bed with her. For
contraception, I open a little square packet with... a condom? Or is it a fast-food packet of...
CAUTION: SEXUAL THEME
COOLIDGE'S DUCK: by Wayan; 1981/4/29, a political dream.
Calvin Coolidge takes over the White House and invites
his rich fossil friends over for a bath and a song...
COYOTE'S DINNER PRAYER: by Wayan; 1998/6/5. A waking prayer-poem for you hungry coyotes.
Coyote's pagan parody of the Christian Lord's prayer. Well, actually, it's kind of sweet..
CAUTION: SACRILEGE, ESPECIALLY THE BIT ABOUT TEMPTATION
COYOTE SENT ME CASH!: by Wayan, 1982/10/11; a psychic dream, sung 2007 (MP3 + lyrics).
A true tale proving the Trickster God really will provide. We're lilies of the field!
A CRAIGSLIST BARGAIN: by Wayan; 2006/10/1. A dream of another life; possible ESP.
I’m an Asian kid in Pacifica, California. My parents annoy me, so I offer them for sale on Craigslist. A cop appears...
CRISSI THE DRIDER: by Brian Harp; 2003/1/16, a recurring dream character
Crissi is a strange creature that has prowled my subconscious for a few years...
CAUTION: SPIDER SEX, BONDAGE
CRONE AND SAGE AT THE MALL: by Wayan; 1991/6/22, a mystical dream-sonnet about malls.
I dream up a shining mall. At a booth selling herbs I meet my mentors, Crone and Sage.
They tease me for building a venue so banal. But I tease right back: "This place shapes you..."
CAUTION: CRITIQUES BUDDHIST PURITY
A CROOKED BAND: by Wayan; 1996/8/21, a dream of chutzpah.
A spinoff band sues the original group for playing their own songs and using their own name...
CROWS USE: by Patagia, before 2007/1/2, a cynical bird dream-poem
Tossing out old papers, I find a dream about crows who
whack pigeons with baseball bats, ending with this moral...
"CRY, BABY!": by Wayan, 1985/8/17, dream-farce with a warning.
The only man in the Miss America Japanese Tea Ceremony Swimsuit Pageant, I learn a tearful lesson...
CAUTION: DYSFUNCTIONAL FLIRTING
CURMUDGEON I: by Wayan; 1981/7/24, a silly dream.
That broccoli business made the new pope controversial, but when he goes off to find his girlfriend...
CAUTION: CATHOLIC SACRILEGE I'M SURE
CURSING ISABELLA: by Wayan; 1992/8/19, a thoughtful dream of sorcery.
How I cursed Isabella the sofa sorceress, cursed her with a blueberry. And why that stinks...
CAUTION: UNDER THE MAGIC, IDEAS
CUTENESS PAGEANT: by Wayan; 2008/8/29, a dream-poem, Dreamverse #16.
I'm trapped in a cute cartoon universe! Worse, to judge this beauty contest,
I have to see past our style to our souls...
DAD ON THE BOARD: by Wayan; 1981/2/12, a dream of business as usual.
How my dad got onto the board of directors and made the organization his own...
DANCE OF THE ENIGMAS: by Brian Harp; 2000, a dream of a sphinx-riddle
She asked "What, plus a teaspoon of knowledge and
a teaspoon of wisdom, makes three teaspoons of nothing?"
DANCING BACKWARD: by Roswila; 2007/5/21, a punning dream-poem
I just watch as all the dance students practice the jive step. I think I already know that one...
DARE: by Catshall; c. 2013/6/13, a haiku on an incubated nightmare
I challenged my dreams to hit me with their worst. And they did...
DATELINE WEDNESDAY: by Wayan; 1987/12/27, a dream of the shamanic heartland
On Thursdays, in Tungusia, looking at your watch could save your life...
CAUTION: DEFAMES SIBERIANS
A DAUGHTER TO DOTE ON: by Thomas Madden; 2017/9/17, a dream on gender? Family pressure? Both?
My dad saw a mob killing; our family enters witness protection. But why's my new role female? Well, my parents...
CAUTION: WILLING OR UNWILLING DRAG?
DAWN'S DIVORCE: by Dawn Z; 2002/3/1-21, an outrageous dream sequence
While going through a painful breakup, I kept having sexy, lucid, psychic dreams...
DAWN'S TOILET: by Dawn Z and Wayan; 1999/1/6, two strongly parallel dreams
Wayan dreams of surprising Dawn on the toilet. She dreams that flushing away evidence of Foul Play won't work...
DEAD RIGHTS! DEAD RIGHTS!: by Wayan; 1983/10/1, a dream of the other side.
I die young, to get it over with, like chickenpox. As I slowly revive, I face bias against the dead. So..
DEAF TO MY SIGNS: by Wayan; 1997/6/17, a wise frustration dreamtale.
In a darkened room of deaf women watching a slideshow,
I find no one can hear me in either English or Sign...
A DEAL WITH GOD: by Wayan; 1987/10/21, a heretic dream.
Evangelists pester me until I get so mad I make an on-the-spot deal with...
CAUTION: MAD AT CHRISTIANS AGAIN
DE GAULLE: by Hélène Cixous, 1998/5/20; a dream perhaps hiding a political metaphor
General De Gaulle gives me a ride in his armchair with the plexiglass
roof. Alarming--since he drives backward at full speed...
DEVILMENT: by Wayan, 2017/8/13, two dreams on Queen Bee syndrome, fusing Milton & Milton Friedman
A Queen Bee devil kidnaps my grandniece; I kill her to free the child. Turns out even Hell's leaders are relieved.
She returns as a satanic housing developer. Slicker this time, but just as crooked. Must I kill her again?
CAUTION: DEVILS, VIOLENCE (NONGRAPHIC)
THE DIADEM RATIO: by Wayan; 1994/8/14, an absurdist dream.
I stumble into the middle of a dream conversation--on ghosts, tiaras and pigs--
and struggle to figure out what what on earth we were already talking about...
THE DILDO SHOW: by Wayan; 2010/1/24, a truly awful dream sitcom
I dream of a TV sitcom with passive boytoys, dildo balloons & a relentless laughtrack...
CAUTION: OH, READ THE TITLE
THE DINOSAUR ELEVATOR: by Wayan; 1992/11/22, a paradoxical dream.
The dinosaurs I meet manage to prove BOTH leading
time-travel theories! Yet they're incompatible...
DINO FOR A NIGHT: by Wayan; 2017/7/9, a sci-fi-movie dream poem
I'm turned into a small dinosaur and treated as a guard dog. But I meet a dino girl. We have fun,
once we see it's a movie--they won't kill off the love interests. Hollywood rules make us invulnerable...
DINOSAUR GAITS: by Wayan; 1998/11/1, a dream on independence.
My paleontologist mom can scuttle like a lizard, so why can't she manage a dinosaur gait?
DINO SINGULARITY: by Wayan; 2012/3/30, a paleontological speculation in a dream.
Peering in a spacetime gate, I wonder if all the dinos went extinct. Would we spot an ancient Singularity?
DINO YARMULKE: by Wayan; 2015/10/13; an odd little dream and portrait
I carelessly burst in on a friend, a gay dinosaur, during a Jewish holiday rite,
startling him so he raises his spiny crest, levitating his yarmulke...
DISCARDS: by Wayan; 2008/3/24, a rap heard in a dream--Dreamverse #39
A Marin girl finds a dirty secret in the school library--they discard the unpopular.
She kinda identifies with the discarded books. And discarded people...
THE DISPLAY: by Wayan; 1997/10/17, a natural history dream.
I'm trapped in a nature documentary about mating displays among humans...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, PBS NARRATION, AND OTHER EMBARRASSMENTS
DISTRACTUS: by Wayan, 2004/5/5, a comic sexy diagnostic dream... that baffled me.
Sex in a meadow? A protest march distracts us. But a friend warns me of a disease, Coitus Distractus...
CAUTION: (DISTRACTED) SEX
DOG BITES CAT: by Wayan; 2015/2/17; a grating dream-poem
I get bullied into dogwalking. A biter--leaves a cat bloody. You'd think a talking dog'd listen. But Cheney...
DOG IN A CASSOCK: by Wayan, 1972/2/3, a comically surreal dream-poem
A master criminal is tracked down by a hound in a monk's robe
who's introduced to me as... the President of the United States?
DOG OR... KITTY?: by Cory and Wayan, 2019/5/1, shared predictive dreamlets.
Wayan dreams of petting an adorable cat-dog. The same night...
Cory dreams of meeting an adorable dog-cat. Later that day...
At the beach, Cory meets a woman with a dog named... Oh. You guessed.
THE DOG PILOT PROGRAM: by Wayan; 1981/4/23, a dream of doing the impossible.
I get a job in China teaching bus-driving dogs how to fly. I don't know how. Luckily, the dogs...
THE DOGGYSEY: by Wayan, 2009/11/26, a dream Odyssey predicts my own artistic path
I find I'm a fox singing the Disney musical version of a canine epic: the tale of Odysseus the
Mutt and his purebred Big Brother vying for the paw of Penelope--and the throne of Ithaka...
CAUTION: POLTERGEIST
DOLLY'S TAROT: by Wayan; 1995/9/5, a dream on roles.
Tarot with Dolly Parton. But I piss her off. "Men! You think I'm dumb, cuz of my tits!" She fixes THAT...
CAUTION: STUPID BREAST HUMOR BUT AT LEAST IT'S NOT GRUESOME
DON'T SHOOT THE IBEX: by Jane Doe; 2005/8/9, a hunting dream.
My hunting license won’t let me legally shoot a giraffe or ibex, but I do bag a prime Macy’s salesman...
CAUTION: LICENSE TO KILL
DOWN UNDER: by Kenneth John Atchity; c.1976, a comic on-the-road dream poem
I ride my tricycle all round Sydney trying to get bureaucratic approval
to feed bananas to my friend the grizzly bear, gooey though he gets...
DRAMA IS HELL!: by Thomas Hood; 1824?; a comic nightmare
When my first play failed, I tried to console myself by reading Paradise Lost.
But drama and devils don't mix...
DRAMATIC PARASITES: by Wayan; 1995/6/28, a dream on fear of success.
I project I'll make a lot more money soon. Good, now I can support all my lazy friends! Wait...
DREAM CLARITY, or, the Field of Psychotherapy: by Wayan; 1996/11/27, a dream on dreams
While we're making crop-circles in the field of psychotherapy, my hypnotist and I start to argue...
DREAM HERDING: by Nancy Potter; 1978/11/8 & 11/11, two comic, surreal dreams
FERRY: the crossing is rough, but I'm warned I must find my own sea-legs...
BUZZ OFF: I step into a family photo, but I'm not welcome in the past...
DREAM OF A DREAM OF NIGHT: by Robert Watson; 1960s, a dream-poem
The goddess of Night is in love with me, but I'm married, and tired, and just full of excuses...
DREAM SHORTAGE: by Wayan; 1985/12/1, an appropriately short dream.
I meet two women in dream-prison. One's a giant, one a miniature. A fairy? She says, 'No, I'm..."
DREAMS BLOCK VAMPIRE ARROWS: by Wayan; 1995/3/30, an encouraging nightmare.
Fighting vampire archers is risky enough WITH proper armor! And all I have is dream-journals...
CAUTION: MENTIONS BATTERING
THE DREAMSUIT: by Wayan; 1992/7/12, a dream on unconscious programming.
An experimental helmet knocks me out. I'm groggy, miserable, till I learn what it did to others...
DRIVER'S TEST: by Wayan; 1984/1/8, a comical Kafka dream.
It's not easy to get a California driver's license, ever since the Dept. of Motor Vehicles went Jungian...
DRY HUMPING ON STAGE: by Marilyn Stablein; 1968, a dream while visiting Nepal... for six years
I'm chosen to demonstrate crazy sex positions with a Tibetan lama on stage in front of a crowd...
CAUTION: GOOFY SEX
DUCK!: by Wayan; dreamed 1987/6/5, digital painting 1988
I was on one of those package dream-tours--an hour here, a scene there. But then in Patagonia...
CAUTION: CREEPING PAGANISM
EAR TO THE, UH, WALL: by Wayan; dreamed 1983/10/10
Granny's magic nipple helps me foil the yuppies dumping toxic
waste. But does it count if I did it just to save my own...
CAUTION: CRUDE TALK; STETHESCOPIC NIPPLE
EAT MORE FIBER: by Wayan, 1996/8/8, a nutritious little dream.
Concerned about my health, I up my fiber intake. But not from the usual sources...
CAUTION: BAD DIETARY ROLE MODEL
EDITORS: by Gavin Ewart; late 1970s, recurring nightmares of censorship.
My new editor starts rejecting my poems. My new new editor rewrites them for me. I feel lucky not to be arrested...
THE EDUCATION OF A DREAM: by Wayan; 1998/7/7, a dream on dreams.
A young, naive, ethereal dream gets an Animus to guide her through the crazy material plane...
CAUTION: GRATUITOUS WILLIAM SHATNER
EIGHT ELFLOCKS: by Wayan; 2007/8/11, an absurd psychic sex dream.
I learn weird sex positions from an abused elf, have calligraphic orgasms, and then I, uh, turn on my stereo...
CAUTION: SEX, ESP, ANORGASMIA, PAST LIVES, ABUSE ISSUES
EL ASNO!: by Wayan; 1995/1/20, a political dreamtale.
In a field in the Central Valley, I face the Terror of California...
CAUTION: FIENDISH LEFTIST PROPAGANDA
AN ELECTORAL REFORM: by Jim Shaw; c.1994, a dream-idea that came true
In between drawing devil-bunnies, I advocate letting doomed fringe candidates donate their votes
to more viable colleagues, letting voters express their real choices, not vote for the lesser evil...
CAUTION: POLITICS!
ELLIS CRITIQUE: by Wayan; 2008/12/10, four dreams comically challenge Havelock Ellis's dream-theories!
Pa warns me to protect my paws. Then gilt wounds my sole. Then
a lioness eats a tasty drumstick. Then a bus crashes on our corner--for real!
THE ENTWINED CHILD AND MADAM PURR-SAY: by PurplePurplePurple; 2013/7/5, twin poem-dreams
I dream my autistic son, miraculously high-functioning, recites a math-poem to a crowd...
Then I become cartoon cat Madam Purr-Say and chant my own defiant poem at the dream gods...
CAUTION: FIRST POEM AUTISTIC, SECOND PISSY
ESCAPE FROM PBS!: by Wayan; 1992/9/17, a trapped-in-TV nightmare.
I'm trapped in a TV documentary on nuclear war! Better dive through a TV screen and find a safe sitcom...
FASCION: by Wayan; 1992/8/13. Nondream digital poster on beauty & gender
A sardonic little poster on dating-role reversal with helpful advice...
CAUTION: PHALLUS INVADES PHOTOSHOOT
FASHION SHOOT: by Wayan, 2000/11/30; nondream ceramic sculpture 10.5" long.
Inspired by a fashion outtake of model and director clowning. I fused the director and the camera, and...
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY
FEDERALIST SCHOOL: by Wayan; 2013/8/20; a happy advisory dream
A free university just opened in town. The curriculum evolves by natural
selection. Anyone can teach! Should I? Just don't eat the food...
FEVER HILL: by Wayan; 1991/4/13, a comic Buddhist nightmare.
My fever-dreams manifest physically and mess up my whole neighborhood. Seismic inspectors arrive...
FEVER DREAMS: by Wayan; 1993/9/8, a set of wild feverdreams.
While my body expels a kidney stone, weird scenes happen on the astral plane. At least I get to dip the pope.
CAUTION: PAIN, PEE, POPE
FIGHTING A VIRUS: by Wayan, 1998/11/21, a diagnostic nightmare.
Coming down with a virus, I dream of a guy who INSISTS we must fight, it's just so FUN...
FIGURE DRAWING: NOW HOLD THAT POSE: by Wayan; 1989/11/6 digital sketch of model clowning.
Shasé liked absurd, impossible poses, and she held them heroically...
CAUTION: SILLY NUDITY
FIRE-CATS: by Wayan; 1981/10/10; twin dream-poems on over-discipline
For mere disobedience, I EXECUTE a forest-fire-fighting cat! So next
I'm trapped in a security-obsessed job; how do I like it? I flee...
FIRST IMPRESSIONS: by Wayan; 2004/5/20, a dreamsong (MP3+lyrics); Dreamverse #0
I meet a monster--half earthworm, half giraffe. Then I realize she’s kind of cute...
FIVE BLUNT TEETH: by Wayan; 2011/2/17, a biting nondream shape-poem
I read The Best American Poetry, 2007, but it just isn't, and I find myself writing a Savage Poetic Response...
THE FLASHBACK: by Wayan; 1985/11/28, a dark dream-farce.
I'm a monster working in a shopping mall in Stockton, California, when I smell smoke...
CAUTION: FILM NOIR SEX
FLOCK WISDOM: by Alder; 1958, a magic comic frustration dream
My eighth grade class is a flock of birds migrating south for the winter, but we don't migrate the easy way...
FLYING CARPET: by Marilyn Stablein; 1968, a dream while visiting Nepal... for six years
In Kathmandu, I'm given a flying carpet--but it skims along
only a few feet up, and ambles slower than I can walk...
FOINBREK THE MOOSE: by Wayan; 1993/12/4, a dreamtale on love and work.
My lesbian twin, who lives in the unemployment line, falls in love with a pushy moose from Brooklyn...
CAUTION: INEPT SEX
FOOT!: by Wayan; 1980/11/3; poem based on silly obsessive dreamlets
I dream all night of weird feet: a blue alien holograph of one, a band called Foot, parasails turning into sky-feet...
FOOT ON THE GAS: by Wayan; 1982/3/16, a creepy little warning dream.
My car's idling too fast. After hours of diagnosis, I notice a foot's on the gas! But not my foot...
THE FOUNT OF CANADIAN WISDOM: by Wayan; 1982/11/17; a dream-poem on miracles. Stupid miracles.
A Jungian figure dispenses Wisdom. Overwhelmed, annoyed, I try to shut him up
by manifesting money out of nowhere. But nothing shuts up the Fount of...
FRANCHISE!: by Wayan, 1995/10/12, a dream-comic (ill. text ed.) with a serious warning.
I was the first woman made High Commissioner of Baseball. One day a team of mutants begs a franchise...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, BAD TEAMWORK, HORNY BEES
FREAKY DREAM, or, HEART IN MY STOMACH: by Ratiries Steelclaw; c. 2004/3/30, a dream comic
I felt like my heart was in my stomach. My friend Lyx opened me up and confirmed it was. She scolded me for eating it...
CAUTION: URP
FROGWOMAN MARCH: by Wayan; 2000/11/26, poem of a surreal but almost plausible dream.
Two protesters, under the weight of full scuba gear and flippers, waddle toward City
Hall--the first steps of a transcontinental march. Or at least transcontinental waddle...
FUCK CALIFORNIA!: by Wayan; 2004/10/15, a surreal, embarrassing dream
I'm trying to hump the entire State of California. In public, too. What brought THIS on? Well, actually, I know...
CAUTION: OBSCENE SITUATION--AND TITLE. OOPS, TOO LATE.
FUNERAL FOODFIGHT: by Dan Schmidt, art by Jesse Reklaw; pre-2000; a revenant dream
As they lower me into my grave, mourners don't throw dirt but--cottage cheese? I toss it
back, starting a huge foodfight. I climb out to join the fun. Only the poor pastor looks lost...
FUNKY BUTT UGLY: by Wayan; 1993/7/26, a dream of a Shadow.
We're interviewing new housemate candidates. Only I fail to recognize that one is my own shadow...
A GENERAL HISTORY OF TRANSPORTATION (AN EXCERPT): by Georges Perec; April 1972, his Dream #115
Parking structures with spiral ramps are, secretly, screws harvesting motion from parking cars, slowly drilling
into near-impenetrable rock. Thus are skyscraper-foundations made...
GEOMETRY OF DAWN: by Bruce Kawin, c.1983, a sexy metaphysical dream?
My anima sends me on peculiar journeys--smoke rings, islands, conversations with a stone--
but at last it's just us. She has something more she wants to teach me. On that bed...
CAUTION: ASTRAL COME-ON
GEORGE AND WILMA: by Wayan, 2011/10/25, an animation-mashup dream done as a poem
George Jetson is married to Wilma Flintstone--though they're both big cats.
When George comes home high on mushrooms, he doubts what's on his bed...
CAUTION: CARTOON ADULTERY
THE GEYSER: by Wayan; 2014/3/22, a mock Dickinson poem on a dream telling us what to be
I dream my sister has an epiphany--we should relax, blur our boundaries, and just be
sloppy old Geysers of Good. Surprisingly, my financier mentor agrees...
CAUTION: DECLARES CAPITALISM OBSOLETE
THE GHOST OF CREATIVE CATASTROPHE: by Wayan; 2020/3/25, a dream of Covid as... playful
A whimsical spook causes a chain of crashes--a pedestrian dodges an elephant, swerving a car
that shoves a cyclist into a luggage-wrangler whose rolling suitcase panics a dog who runs into...
GIFTSHOP OF THE DAMNED: by Carmen Knoke, art by Jesse Reklaw; pre-2000; a comic nightmare
It was Christmas and we needed to buy gifts. But the shopping dragged on
and when at last we went to the register, the sales clerk laughed...
GIRAFFE MISSION, or, THE 17TH FOOT: by Wayan, 2017/1/30, a Seussy dreampoem on breadth of view
I was in the Mission with friends. A giraffe saw me as narrowminded, and lifted me up
to show me HIS viewpoint. No insights--till we topped the roofline...
THE GIVE-AWAY: by Wayan; 1982/6/7, a career nightmare.
My parents pray for my success, and arrange a great learning opportunity for me. Really.
A GLUM BAR: by Wayan; 2000/4/12, the quietest of nightmares.
My house is a bar that never closes. You know what a gay bar is. Well, we're the opposite: a....
CAUTION: BAD VIBES
GOAT WITH A HUMAN HEAD: by Steve Carter, 2008/7/12; a dream image.
Walking around my brother's farm, I met this goat with a human head. He'd been playing with matches...
GOD DRESSED YE, MARE: by Wayan; Christmas carol misheard 1968/12/25, dreamt I sang 1984/9/16, & drew 2008/6/28.
At 15 I misheard God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen and liked my version better. "Lit muffin, rude Esmé"...
GOD SELLS CIGARETTES: by Jim Shaw; c.1994, a sad dream vignette
I dreamed God was naked, selling cigarettes in a nightclub...
CAUTION: MONOTHEISTIC FALL
GODEVILLE: by Wayan; 2013/9/1, a nightmare of that Old-Time Religion
I'm at a vaudeville for gods. Cthulhu the squid-god nearly tramples me--and then gets horny...
CAUTION: GROSS GOD, GROSS GOO
THE GOLDEN JOCKSTRAP: by Wayan, 2017/3/8, a dream on meeting your own needs
I walk into a Castro fashion shop with Dalí décor--golden underwear draped on branches. And my friends all buy it...
CAUTION: UNDERWEAR JOKES
GOLDIE'S RHINOPOTAMUS: by Wayan; 2013/4/10, a Fellini dreamjoke with advice.
I'm in Venice. The police chief (armored) and Goldie Hawn (near-naked)
ride a skittish monster. Turns out bareback works better...
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY
GORDO'S EYES: by Wayan; 1981/2/14, a dream warning.
The old cartoon character Gordo has another girlfriend. But his pets say he only loves the hunt, not her...
GREEN DAY DREAM: by Cristy C. Road; early 1995. A recurring dream.
Green Day singer Billie Joe hocked a lugie on me in concert. I felt blessed...
CAUTION: EWWW
GRIMOIRE AND PACT: by Wayan, 2013/8/4, twin dreams of infestations of... health? illness? sex? magic?
Two sisters want to lick me all over, but they lick everything; weird gut-fauna make them immune to toxins...
Fairy eggs infest my home--become worms, then tiny horses, then mothwinged hobbits, then adult fairies....
CAUTION: NUDE EQUINES & FAE; PARASITES (OR SYMBIOTES?)
GROTTO OF BREASTS: by Gary Snyder, 1965/7/3, a bizarre High Sierra dream
In Europe, I enter a cave-shrine. Rock walls with... breasts! I suck one. It gives milk. A plaque says...
CAUTION: WEIRD
GROUNDHOG DAY: by Wayan; 1994/9/2, a dream-comic (or text with pix)
James Hillman is the first psychologist on the moon! He sees a shadow and
panics like a groundhog--mistakes it for Death. Not his own shadow, but MINE...
GURU IN BLUE: by Wayan, 1990/5/10, a dream-poem of BEING a nightmare
I want to meet my friends' spiritual teacher, but he cowers, runs from me in horror.
I chase him yelling "BOO!" Why am I acting as his nightmare? I don't know...
THE GURU OF CASH: by Wayan; 2009/7/7, a comic predictive financial dream
My friend Dawn drags me to a cultish workshop. But I fall asleep! Or is
that bad? The Financial Guru awards me $1250 for spiritual napping...
CAUTION: RIDICULOUS UNTIL...
HAND US THE FRENCHMAN!: by Wayan; 2004/10/24, a comic dreamlet on hippiedom's last gasp
The Feds order my friend Mike to hand them a Frenchman we haven't seen in years. Mike substitutes a junk VW...
HAVE YOUR COCK AND EAT IT TOO: by Wayan; 2007/4/14, a dream of happy autocannibalism
I grew extra penises which bud off me like fruit. So I fry them up like sausages, and...
CAUTION: GENITALIA FOR LUNCH
HAWK AND CAT: by Wayan, 1981/6/2, a dream of ethics and terror.
My best friend is a cat. Problem is, I'm a rare hawk--a Cat-Eater. I never, ever would, but...
HE HAS REPENTED: by Frederick Greenwood; before 1894, a pre-Freud discovery of the unconscious
A con artist fools me and a waiter. But if my dreamfolk are all me, who's fooling whom?
HE LOOKED SOURLY: by John Dee; 1582/11/24, a mage's dream of dying, and after.
The foremost wizard of Shakespeare's age dreams he's dead. They're burning his books, but that doesn't bother him...
THE HEAD FACTORY: by Wayan; 2014/8/24, a dream-poem on changing your mind
I toured the factory where they make the spare heads you put on and
take off to change your mind. Nothing creepy about it, nothing at all...
HEIST THE GOLDEN EGGS!: by Wayan; 2008/7/18, a dream of do-it-yourself tech--and ethics
Two teens crack a bank with a homemade rocket--but forgot a crowbar! Caught, but
the bank can't press charges; the kids have proof the bank uses slave labor...
CAUTION: DISSES CAPITALISM
HELL I SUPPOSE: by Rick Veitch; pre-1995; a dream with a rockin' sense of sarcasm
I'm gloomy about the state of the world, but my alter ego cheerfully explains we're dead and in
Hell--as a demon train rolls up with Elvis Costello on the roof singing "This is Hell I suppose"...
HELL-TORNADO: by Wayan; 1988/7/2, a dream on social engineering.
Who built the tornado in the Heartland, that sucks anyone who opens their spirit-wings down to Hell?
CAUTION: BAD THEOLOGY, WORSE PHYSICS
HELP YOUR NEIGHBOR: by Wayan; 1994/2/18, a comic nightmare.
I'm an organic almond grower who's solved the Luminous Snail problem. But my neighbor has an agenda...
HERE COMES A CHOPPER: by Wayan; 1983/6/20, an absurd nightmare on families and denial
The helicopter over our family home dipped too low. CRASH! Burning rotors in the living room.
I call 9-1-1, but the pilot scolds me! "Calling over a little explosion like this!"...
HERMIT IN THE PIPE: by Wayan; 1999/5/2, a dream of the end.
I'm a holy man sneaking into a sewerpipe at the beach, to pop anxiety pills in shame. Do they even work?
CAUTION: CHEMICAL CRUTCHES
HIGH IN THE MOUNTAINS: by Hélène Cixous; before 2003; a comic dream
My little brother catches and rides a fairy goose down steep mountain slopes, demanding it grant his wishes...
HIGHER LEVEL: by Wayan; 2011/12/13, an absurd transcendent dream
I paddle through the grim streets of Karachi on my belly, on a skateboard,
with my flipper-hands, until at last I reach the border to a Higher Realm...
HIJACK! The Christmas Special: by Wayan; 2012/4/13, a trapped-in-bad-TV dream.
I'm stuck on a jet full of cartoons. We get hijacked by a kid who just wants
pilot practice, and then a talking cactus counter-hijacks us...
CAUTION: THE F-WORD
HILLARY AND TEAL: by "A 24-Year-Old Californian Woman"; around 2008/2/28, an absurd political dream
Hillary Clinton hid her cancer, but the GOP found out. So a monster kidnaps Rainbow Brite, and...
HILLARY’S EYES: by Margaux Williamson; February 2008, a political romance dream
Hillary Clinton was trying to seduce me, and doing a pretty good job, too...
HITLER'S CAR: by Wayan; 1982/6/9, I review a creepy book. Then my dreams review ME.
A book claims Hitler led not a political party but a cult out to apply mystical theories--like Manson! Then I dream...
CAUTION: RABID RANTING
HOCKEY: by Jim Shaw; c.1994, a flirtatious dream-scene
I'm a hockey player. A woman strips to a bikini, wondering if she's attractive. My erection says she is...
CAUTION: BRRR!
THE HOG AND VIBRATOR SHOW: by Wayan; 2014/11/7, an obscene comic nightmare
The gameshow has two old men humping sextoys on the floor as the audience
watched. That wasn't the gross bit. It was when they released the hogs...
CAUTION: OBSCENE GAMESHOW. EVEN MORE THAN USUAL.
HOGAMUS HIGAMUS: by Mrs Amos Pinchot, or Claire MacMurray? Nov. 1939, a disavowed dream-poem.
She dreamed she'd written a wise and beautiful poem. Half asleep she scribbled it down. Awake, she found it read...
CAUTION: HOGGEREL
THE HOMONKEYLUS: by Wayan; 1992/6/15, a looping dream about blinders.
A smiling beauty queen on a float gives birth to a monkey with blinders, then re-absorbs the baby, then...
CAUTION: NUDITY AND ODDITY
HOP: by Emily Joy, Maddie, and Kathe, 2004/3/31; three linked dreams of a single character
Three friends in one bed dream three dreams in one night about a talking rabbit with a persistent request...
HOP TO THE SHAH: by Wayan; 2010/5/18, a flying political dream
Diplomacy's failed. To stop the impending Iranian War single-handed,
I hop like a monster flea across Iran to corner the New Shah...
THE HORSE VOTERS: by Wayan; 1995/4/30, a dream on race? Or...
19th century horsebreeders crossbred more than they admit. One suggests I look hard in the mirror...
CAUTION: UNSEEMLY SENATORIAL DISCOURSE
HOT, BOTHERED AND BEWILDERED: by Wayan; 1981/5/8, a dreamtale.
In a club, a new genderbending band. One singer gets me hot, but completely confused--for good reason...
CAUTION: SEXUAL SITUATIONS, GENDERBENDING
HOW THE WAYAN GOT ITS NAME: by Wayan, 1986/5/23, a predictive dream on names (& manes)
A telepathic unicorn-lion says my true name is Wayan. And my true species? I'm like him!
I wake, change my name to fit the dream, move to a new city. Near my new house,
my dream-name is scratched into the concrete sidewalk...
THE HUMAN BUTTERFLY: by Peter Wortsman; 1986, a bizarre dream
I wanted to be human, but Mom said "You'll always be just a lousy caterpillar." So I slipped inside
a human girl. After some arguments with her boyfriend, I got born as a human-faced butterfly...
CAUTION: UNDERAGE SEX AND MOM
THE HYPOTHALAMUS: by Georges Perec; October 1971, a dream of embarrassment. Dream #95
I learn my book A Void, supposedly written without the letter E, has lots of them--
crawling with errors. But at least I can spy on the neighbors...
I AND I, or, RENTADATE: by Wayan; 1983/6/18, a dream of ego-loss AND proliferation.
After the revolution, I rule. But I get out of touch. So I throw a party and invite me, myself and I...
I BLUSH TO REPORT: by Wayan; 1986/12/11, two stupid dreams.
Two embarrassing dreams the same night: I learn why I don't have cancer and can't buy giant panties...
CAUTION: STUPID
I HAD THE STRANGEST DREAM, AND YOU WERE THERE: by Wen Spencer; c.2016;
a writer's dream comically summing up her own fantasy series.
My characters are all dancing together. Roach is flanked by friends--but they turn into elves.
As dragons, elves, tengu & robot mice join in, Roach slowly freaks...
I, MEATBALL: by Vladimir Cole, art by Jesse Reklaw; pre-2000; a warning nightmare?
I'm chased by spaghetti, snared, sprinkled with parmesan.
My hungry classmates loom, and my best friend says...
I WANT A SHILLING: Anonymous #4; c.1920?, a dream on the precise value of ideals
I’m at a lecture on Art, Beauty and the Nude, but no one paid the model and he wants a drink...
I WANT MY INHERITANCE: by Wayan; 1989/12/18, a dream on family brainwashing.
My family calls me a blonde bimbo and won't give me my inheritance, so I take drastic steps...
CAUTION: MORAL HAIRSPLITTING
I WAS AN ELEPHANT HANDLER: by Wayan; 1989/4/3, a genderbent stagestruck dream.
I was an elephant trainer longing to be a star--to win the girl on the flying trapeze. Who's probably straight...
CAUTION: FLIRTING LESBIANS, OR POSSIBLY ELEPHANTS, OR MAYBE LIBRARIANS
ICERINK: by Wayan; 1980/8/23, a warning dream.
Psychodrama seemed like a way to meet cool people. But when I dreamed they were ice-skating rioters...
IGUANA: by Jim Shaw; between 1987 & Jan. 1995, two surreal dreamlets on water damage
In a flooded room, an indignant iguana scolds me, while
my wife Marnie checks her computer implant for water damage...
I'M NOT THE DIRECTOR!: by Federico Fellini; Oct. 1961, a dream pun on denying your lifework
I'm the director of an airport. A mysterious Mongolian traveler lands. Let him in
or not? I try to avoid the decision by lying--say "I'm not the director!"...
IN IO: by Wayan, 1981/8/7, a wild otherworldly dream with 3 illustrations.
I live on Io. It's nicer than its photos. At least inside, where the oceans are--where I grow a second head...
IN PRAISE OF DREAMS: by Wislawa Szymborska; c. 1992, a paean to why dreamwork's fun
Yes, dreamwork can be heavy, but remember all you can do in dreams...
INGENIOUS ADVERTISEMENTS: by Elizabeth Kew; 1930s?, a cynical dream come true.
My friend put an ad on her gown, so I try one on our house. I have big ideas for more, but a pickpocket...
INSTANT SON: by Lily; 2014/9/25, a telepathic dreamlet
I dreamt I met my friend Karen, looking like she did years ago... except she was
towing around a son about seven years old! And she'd been childless. I called her, and...
INUIT MEDITATION: by Wayan; 1989/11/16, a comically surreal dream.
I'm the first tuna to get a scholarship to Stanford.
Naturally I sign up for a course in Inuit Meditation...
THE IRON WINDOW: by Jim Shaw; between 1987 & Jan. 1995, a grotesque dreamlet
Bearded professors call through an iron-barred window shaped like
a woman's torso, hoping to lure a nude model to fill it so they can grope...
CAUTION: CREEPY
IRONY: by Wayan; 2007/6/15. A vertical comicstrip burned into (naturally) an ironing board
I'm so sick of irony I decide to get my sense of irony surgically removed and replace it with...
CAUTION: PLAYING WITH FIRE
THE IRRATIONALITY OF DREAMS: by Wayan; 1989/12/31, a New Year's dream.
On TV, the first Jungian anima to leave the unconscious is granting an interview. But the questions are...
IT MUST BE SOMEONE SHE ATE: by Sorcha; 2008/10/11 and mid-Jan. 2009, a recurring comic news-nightmare
Cilda Spitzer and Hillary Clinton sentence America's bimbos to a shitty fate. But what of their cheating husbands?
IT WASN'T EASY: by Wayan; 1983/2/24, a dream of escaping my family's unrealism
An Arabian prince kidnaps my girlfriend and me. We eventually escape his flying palace, but she gets trapped in
Victorian underwear, while I escape feuding politicians by turning myself into a truck tire. NOT a smart move...
CAUTION: BOGUS VICTORIAN SEX-EUPHEMISMS


See also Dream Humor J-Z

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