The page of stupid dream humor. Though of course dream-jokes often have a point. It's our conscious minds that find dream-logic absurd. What intrigues me is how many of these dreams suggest that dreams find our conscious reasoning equally silly.
So ask yourself while reading these dreams: who's fooling who? Is dream-irrationality what it seems, or are your dreams putting you on?
Christmas Eve, 2000. Wayan was short on time, cash, inspiration... presents. Squeaking in desperation, our small mammal set the writing program Word to search the fifteen thousand dreams on Wayan's hard disk for certain keywords: silly, stupid, dumb, funny, and pointless. Numerous dreams short enough to fit in a chapbook were found. Edited, laid out, printed, and wrapped by dawn... a holiday trifle, it seemed at the time.
But along with a parallel experiment called Birth Dreams, that search was the seed of the World Dream Bank. RELATED TOPICS: dream puns (both visual and verbal) - surrealism - nightmares (it's a fine line, sometimes) - the original book: Catalog: Dumb Dreams - tricksters: coyotes - ravens and crows - rabbits - foxes - See also the full INDEX OF SUBJECTS.
What this site is - Add your dreams! - How to read blurbs - Ratings - Copyright - Downloading - The World Dream Bank has 3300+ dreams plus 1000 more pages on dreamwork, shamanism, surrealism, fantasy, worldbuilding, creativity and genius. Site © Chris Wayan 2001-2013.
|ABREAST OF THE COMPETITION: by Wayan; dreamed 2013/10/9, a dream on appeasing others
A tall busty girl's younger, part-unicorn friend starts developing breasts at last--and makes boob jokes,
mocking her own body to reassure her herdmate she's no competition...
|ACORN AND PELT: by Wayan; 1983/7/19, a simple sex dream growing to a mystical extravaganza
I fall in love, defying dwarf-tossers and Toulouse-Lautrec, till I become a time-traveling bunny...
CAUTION: SEX, SIZE DISCRIMINATION AND SLANDER
|ADRIAN TRIED: by Wayan, 1991/3/12, an embarrassing dream.
Adrian and Jennifer and Michelle try very very hard to get my attention, but I'm a bit oblivious...
CAUTION: SEXUAL STUPIDITY
|AICORN'S BANANA: by Wayan; 2016/6/13, a dream-parable on owning your tastes
An artificial intelligence acquires fans and has orgies with her groupies. Her creators
don't care as long as the advertisers get product placement. But she has this size fetish...
|AIDA'S TOILET BOAT: by Wayan; 1993/4/7, a psychic dreamtale.
A sexy comedian and her troubles down the drain. A dream that turned out to be true...
|THE AIR BURUNDI PAINTINGS: by Wayan; 7 illus., 2007/1/20, a dream of art & courage
Weird paintings cover a hill town in Africa, demanding I paint them when I wake.
Paintings on courage, flight... and defying tradition.
|AIRPLANE WITH BORN: by Catshall; c. 2014/11/8, a dream-haiku on American politics?
I dreamt of an airplane with born-again pilot. I challenged him:
"just because you're rich doesn't mean you can run things"...
|THE AIRPORT AUTOMATIC PHOTOGRAPHY BOOTH: by Julie Doucet; 1997/11/19, a dream-comic
At the airport, a new automatic photo booth shoots your memories!
Julie can't resist... and emerges, excited, to find that...
|ALL-NIGHT BUFFALO CONVENIENCE!: by Wayan; 1995/7/24, an entrepreneurial dream.
A late-night conversation with the proud developer of a new concept in South Asian convenience dining...
|ALTARED MANSION: by Wayan; dreamed 2004/10/18, a dream on all the world's religions
I'm touring a gloomy, firelit Victorian mansion filled with icons and idols
of every faith in the world, while this funny theme song runs in my head. What is that song?
CAUTION: MUSLIM RANTER; EMBARRASSING SONG
|ALTHEA'S CHICKEN: by Wayan; 1990/3/27, a nightmare-farce.
My sister Althea decides my house has demons, and hires an exorcist who botches things, so that...
|AMBIVALENT? NO! (YES!): by Wayan; 1990. Digital panorama of dreamselves spanning a lifetime.
A chronological orgy of my self-images from childhood on: horses, geeks, girls, satyrs, boys, monsters...
|ANCIENT MARE-KIN GRAVEYARD: by Wayan; 2008/9/1, a dreamsong (MP3+lyrics), Dreamverse #18
I'm a ghost watching future archeologists dig up a site of my people--and get it so wrong...
|THE APPLIANCE'S EFFECT: by Wayan; 1996/8/20, a teasing little dream.
Why has no one noticed that the side effects of a household appliance violate all known physics?
|ARBORETUM CAT: by Wayan; 1999/4/14, an acrylic nondream landscape.
Golden Gate Park's arboretum, in San Francisco, is home to feral cats, skunks, raccoons, people...
|ASK ME ANYTHING: by Wayan; 1975/1/31, a backstage dream.
It was a dark and stormy night. I was lost, till I stumbled on God
in her underground control room. God was helpful. Too helpful...
|ASTAIRES: by Wayan; 2015/11/17, a dream about... the Web?
A host of Fred Astaires dance mid-air in an endless spiderweb,
then pound on typewriters randomly forever...
|THE B SIDE OF THE PENIS: by Wayan; 1996/8/26, a sex dream about reprogramming.
I erase my sexual tape, and start over. Am I male, female, gay, straight? Uh-oh! What SPECIES?
CAUTION: MESSY SEXUAL BOOBOOS
|BABY'S COMING: by Bruno Oliveira; late summer 2011, a genderbent dream
I'm very pregnant and feel bloated. My mom says "That's what you get for not using a condom"...
|BACKWARD BOOB: by Wayan; 2018/6/17, a grotesque dreamlet
I pass a jogger with her upper torso twisted 180 degrees round, unable to see straight...
CAUTION: DISSES IGNORAMUSES--YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. OH WAIT, YOU DON'T.
|BALEENA'S GAME: by Wayan; 1974/1/26, a surreal dream with a practical point
A whale-spirit marries a poker-player. But her sonar sees too much. Whale-spirits prefer blackjack...
|THE BARRINGTON BUNNY: by Wayan; 1988/8/30, a world-saving alien-abduction dream
Alien robots kidnap me... and make me the mascot for a college football team.
But my Channel Changer slowly infuses us all with nerdy trust...
|BATMAN'S LOVE: by Wayan; 1996/3/26, a dream-epic of love and time.
A New Age graduation party spurs a wild dream of the spiritual odyssey of Catwoman,
starring Alexander the Great, Batman, God, and Rumi the poet (played by Frank Zappa)...
CAUTION: MORAL RELATIVITY
|A BEAGLE, THREE WOLVES, AND A SETTER: by Wayan; 2009/2/6, a dream-poem; Dreamverse #50
Fresh off the Beagle, Darwin meets three wolf-girls, but has distinctly Biblical inhibitions...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, SPECISM, PUNS
|BEATING UNCLE FESTER, or, ACHIEVING BILUMIA: by Wayan; 2013/3/31, a telepathic yet stupid dream.
I screw the lightbulbs in my ears again, and this time, they stay. I sit down at the piano, and as I play...
|BEET: Five Dreams One Night: by Wayan; 2013/10/30, Halloween dreams as minipoems
Parasites, Rambo, huge fetus-beets, an exhibitionist and a living statue advise me on my love life...
|BERRY DANCE: by Wayan; 2009/12/17; a nightmare turns to go-go-dance
My kidnappers were desperate: no jobs. I fled them down the berry chute, to the underground
strawberry factory where engineers in go-go boots did the berry dance. And the berries...
CAUTION: STRAWBERRY FETISH
|BERYL BORROWED IT: by Wayan, 1986/3/8, an absurd dream.
My top-heavy friend Beryl borrows my ass and legs to become
a centaur so she won't fall over. But I want them back, so...
CAUTION: CRUDE AND STUPID
|BERYL'S DOG DAYS: by Wayan; 1988/1/25, a psychic dream farce.
My friend Beryl wants me to help rob a bank, so she can
cut off her breasts and be a great opera singer...
|THE BLACK EGG: by Wayan; 1999/3/25, a comic psychic dream.
My crazy friend Wayne goes bowling for busses with a black egg. Wait! Crazy? Or... predictive?
CAUTION: GEORGIA O'KEEFFE BEHAVES DISGRACEFULLY
|THE BLIP: by Wayan; 1982/5/4, a brief dreamtale.
A bubble of spacetime distortion lands in a very awkward place...
|THE BLUE MILLIPEDE: by Wayan; 1996/11/5 (Election Night), a political dream.
I'm a wizard chasing crooked politicians in a big city. They have a car, I hop a trolley--
only on the astral plane it's a giant blue millipede, and...
CAUTION: RECKLESS DRIVING, THEFT OF PUBLIC MILLIPEDE
|BOB THE TREE: by Catshall; c. 2013/6/21, a dream-haiku on our marriage
I dreamt Bob was a tree-god enthroned in ivy. I said...
|BOGNOR MARRIAGE: by Thomas Hood; 1825; a newlywed nightmare
I found a honeymoon cottage by the sea, and the old landlady gave me a very reasonable rate. Everything was fine...
|BOIL THE CORD, or, A Dinner Date with the Faerie Queene: by Wayan; 2000/4/27, an anorexic dream
I seek a stolen magic necklace, but end up dating the thief, an elf-queen with STRANGE taste in cookery...
CAUTION: BAD SOUP
|BOLLYWOOD LOVE: by Wayan; 2009/4/12, a movie dream (duh!); Dreamverse #51
I live in a universe running on Bollywood rules. I can stand the constant singing
and breakdancing; what gets under my skin is that Bollywood Code...
|LE BON DIEU (Around #2): by Wayan; 1999; digital portrait of dream-selves.
Soul-Poodle is torn between Le Bone Dieu and Dancing Pussy. Who will our horny dogma chase?
CAUTION: MUTT SMUT
|BONK VERONICA: by Wayan; 1997/4/1, 9 page dream-comic (1.3Mb)
The world's first all-bulemic band, Veronica and the Vomits, provokes a riot at our local punk club. So I go to
Anorexic Bootcamp where models learn self-defense under fire, as calories and fat jokes whiz by...
CAUTION: BARF, HORNY ANOREXIC, FOOD FIGHT
|BONOBOCARE, or, THE CHILDREN'S CRUSADE: by Wayan, 2015/8/8, a dream's "Modest Proposal"
Tax-funded child prostitution ends war--sex calms men down from mean chimps to nice bonobos. Rough on street kids, though...
CAUTION: SEXPLOITATION, NUDITY, SATIRE HARSH AS JONATHAN SWIFT. BUT ALSO HAPPY UNICORNS!
|BOOK OF GOLD: by a four-year-old; pre-1961, an apparent telepathic flash
A woman urged her friend to give her daughter a musical education. Without hearing this, the child went hunting for...
|THE BORIS BADENOV SOLUTION: by Wayan; 1989/2/10, a dream of puns.
My evil twin, Boris Badenov, wants $8000 or else. I ask my dreams for a solution, and get one...
|THE BOSS'S GUTS: by Wayan; 1993/6/3, a dream on health-sabotage..
Flu. Ow, cramps! But that night I dream of a miner's rebellion against our fat-cat boss. Which side am I on?
|BOYS: by Wayan; 1993-99, a gender-equity poem.
When girls get their clits cut, even the UN takes notice. But mutilate boy genitals, and... big yawn!
CAUTION: TALK ABOUT SEX AND VIOLENCE--BUT HEY, IT'S ONLY BOYS
|BREAD LIBERATION: by Georges Perec; March 1971, a dream of a lame revolution. Dream #60
Mobilization, war, troop transport, slogans, marching bands and orgies, all in an apotheosis of dough...
CAUTION: ENDS IN SEX
|THE BREAST BANDIT: by Wayan, 1984/5/31, an embarrassing dream.
I'm bad. I'm really bad. I know I shouldn't have done it. But my mail-order breasts were late...
CAUTION: BREAST THEFT
|THE BRUNDIBAR SEA: by Wayan; 2005/12/18, a mystical manifestation dream
Biking, I stray into the steamy Brundibar Sea. My bike dissolves!
But hot-tubbers explain the Sea manifests what you visualize. Yay! Uh-oh...
CAUTION: MYSTICISM AND HOLOCAUST HISTORY
|BUCKLEY'S BLOATED BOMB: by Wayan; 1983/11/20, a political nightmare.
I meet William F. Buckley and his beloved pet pig. Only the hog's a live H-Bomb, and the leash is a trigger...
CAUTION: REPULSIVE GUY, REPULSIVE PET, REPULSIVE ISSUE
|BUDDHA BEARS: by Wayan; 1994. Digital painting of daydream.
Gosh, I'm speechless. How Zen! Market me at once!
CAUTION: MOCKS RELIGION. OR ADVERTISING. ONE OF THOSE.
|BUGS AND ROOSEVELT: by Wayan; 1982/5/2, a wild predictive dream illustrated as an epic poem
I'm Bugs Bunny. I torment Daffy Duck till I learn that in many time-branches the New
Deal happened late... or never. I decide to prod a reluctant Franklin Delano Roosevelt...
CAUTION: FIRESIDE PETTING, DUCK TORTURE, BAD POLITICS
|BUSINESSMEN HAVE SNOUTS: by Wayan; 2010/11/15, a dream-poem on climate-denial?
Businessmen grow snouts or short trunks and their necks stretch.
They drive VW Beetles with the sunroof open. Works in summer, but...
|BUT OUR CAT...: by Wayan; 1974/2/7, a dream haiku
I'd just gone off to college. I dream I'm back in my quarrelsome family's house--
as they start World War Three in the back yard! But our cat...
|BUT THAT'S BESTIALITY!: by Wayan; 1994/10/29, a dream vignette.
In a world dominated by dinosaurs, I get in trouble for publishing a tale of forbidden mammal love...
|THE BUTTON IN LOVE: by Wayan, 2009/10/20, two surreal dreamlets on romantic cluelessness
A glowing sentient autistic button falls in love with a small boy; then I try
to make two friends change orientation and fall in love by singing 'Molly Malone'...
CAUTION: JUST... WRONG
|CAMPION'S WARNING: by Wayan; 1994/6/12, a warning dream--but not warning of what I think.
On the beach, seated at The Piano, director Jane Campion warns
"Avoid Hollywood, they'll snip away at your vision..."
|CAPITOL REEF: by Wayan; 277K, 1996. Cartooned daydream of a mid-air (or is it mid-water?) orgy
News of a new national park fused with a science show on cleaner-fish spur a fantasy of dolphins, cats and...
CAUTION: FISH ORGY; MOCKS THE ANGEL MORONI, TOO
|CAT AND CRAB: by Wayan; 1981/3/12, a dream about teasing?
My cat keeps going into heat and sneaking out for sex with my godmother's pet crab, and...
CAUTION: SEX, BAD PUNS, CRABBINESS
|CECY'S SUBMISSION: by Wayan; 1996/6/4, a bondage-farce dream drawn as comics.
My writer-friend Cecy will do anything to get published. Anything? Oh, believe me, ANYTHING...
CAUTION: BONDAGE, not to mention POSTAGE
|CELEBRATE BOTH: by Henry Sultan, 2005/6/26, a painting that blends two dreams
At a snake-weaving party I flirt with my anima, who tells me how the
cake fell off the roof. I think "At last we're really connecting!"...
|CENTAUR AUDITION: by Wayan; 2012/1/7 and 2012/1/30, two linked Pygmalion dreams
Non-dream centaur ballerinas invade my dreams, because they long to be in the World Dream Bank...
CAUTION: BARBIE CENTAUR NUDITY, CASTING-COUCH OVERTONES
|CENTAUR BEACH: by Wayan; 1990. Two images from a set of recurring dreams.
Me and my sisters at the beach. Strangers rarely think we're related, and you can see why...
|CENTAUR CIRCLES: by Wayan; 1991. Early digital painting of dream figure
An experiment with digital textures that fascinated me. Not a dream, just feels like it.
|CENTAUR: PAULINA AT SUNSET: by Wayan; 1987/12/8, three dream-infused figure studies
Fear anorexia? Gain weight, yet stay slender--be a centaur, like model Paulina Porizkova...
CAUTION: NUDITY; BODY IMAGE/ANOREXIA ISSUES
|THE CHAPARRAL OF TIME: by Wayan; 2008/10/21, a timetravel dream-poem: Dreamverse #36
I snorkel over time-reefs to an era of talking animals--but why crash on the head of rocker Suzi Quatro?
|CHE FANNO GLI INGLESI?: by William Archer; 1917/7/30, a senseless dream.
To help the King of Italy, I become a baker in Baluchistan--
learning Norwegian, levitating, meeting quaggas, riding landslides...
|CHIMP FINAL: by Wayan; 1984/5/19, a dream about failure.
I'm in school on a chimp scholarship and it's time for my final exam...
|CHOKING A CAMEL: by Wayan, 1983 (early May?), a grotesque little dream-poem
Freud explains to me why writing's so hard. His explanation is as senseless as his other theories...
|CHRISTA'S FUR: by Wayan; 2018/6/9, a smutty spiritual dream-poem riffing on Leonardo's 'Last Supper'?
In an alternate Judea, I long for a female Christ and her lesbian apostles.
My lust is unrequited, till a small Sex Kitten gives me some wise advice...
CAUTION: CAT NUDITY, BLASPHEMY
|CLAIRE'S NAMES: by Wayan, 1998/1/11, a dream of love and pushing limits.
My skateboard-riding mermaid girlfriend and I bind ourselves together by the magical power of names...
|CLAY AND HOP: by Wayan; 2009/10/30, a dream poem with sketches; Dreamverse #63
I touch the secret soul of a cancer survivor, upsetting her. To apologize, I become a goofy hopping god...
CAUTION: FONDLING SACRED FIGURINES
|A CLINTONIAN AFFAIR: by “Kate”; 2008/2/18, a dream of strange political bedfellows indeed
Hillary Clinton and George W. Bush were having a secret love affair, and I was sharing their bed...
|CLONE BREAKUP: by Wayan; 1994/2/27, 5p. comic of a psychic dream (or as illustrated text)
I model with ten blonde clones. They want to be seen as individuals, so it's their last fashion show before...
|A CLOSE SHAVE!: by Wayan; 1971/11/7, a short poem of a goofy counterfactual dream
An over-eager landscaper mows my dad's new Assyrian beard, unasked. Debate in court!
Is the art of mowing free speech, or is your face your castle?
|COLLISION COURSE: by Wayan; May 1998; digital sketch of waking life-situation.
Being a hippie artist in San Francisco today feels like being an animal in an African game park...
|COLT TABOOS: by Wayan; 1972/3/27, a puberty dream.
A castle with horse statues in the moat. Only... one of them is alive! He's my lover...
CAUTION: EVERY SEX TABOO YOU CAN THINK OF
|COMETS STRUCK MY GIRLFRIEND: by Wayan; a 1998/8/9 dream painted on a 12" record.
I knew my new girlfriend was the large economy size but I didn't realize she was a gas giant until...
CAUTION: FLATULENT PLANETARY NUDITY
|THE CONCHES: by Wayan; 1996/5/23, a dream on how dreams view the waking mind.
A visit to the Conches, a strange race of molluscs who are people only seasonally...
|THE CONDEMNATION: by Georges Perec; Feb. 1972, a dream of cults, persecution, and timeslip. Dream #105
I'm on vacation, but cultists lick my feet--then turn on me, casting stones. But they miss.
So I wander the steppe for centuries, until I come to the City of Texas...
|COOLIDGE'S DUCK: by Wayan; 1981/4/29, a political dream.
Calvin Coolidge takes over the White House and invites his rich fossil friends over for a bath...
|COYOTE'S DINNER PRAYER: by Wayan; 1998/6/5. A waking prayer-poem for you hungry coyotes.
Coyote's pagan parody of the Christian Lord's prayer. Well, actually, it's kind of sweet..
CAUTION: SACRILEGE, ESPECIALLY THE BIT ABOUT TEMPTATION
|COYOTE SENT ME CASH!: by Wayan, 1982/10/11; a psychic dream, sung 2007 (MP3 + lyrics).
A true tale proving the Trickster God really will provide. We're lilies of the field!
|A CRAIGSLIST BARGAIN: by Wayan; 2006/10/1. A dream of another life; possible ESP.
I’m an Asian kid in Pacifica, California. My parents annoy me, so I offer them for sale on Craigslist. A cop appears...
|CRISSI THE DRIDER: by Brian Harp; 2003/1/16, a recurring dream character
Crissi is a strange creature that has prowled my subconscious for a few years...
CAUTION: SPIDER SEX, BONDAGE
|A CROOKED BAND: by Wayan; 1996/8/21, a dream of chutzpah.
A spinoff band sues the original group for playing their own songs and using their own name...
|"CRY, BABY!": by Wayan, 1985/8/17, dream-farce with a warning.
The only man in the Miss America Japanese Tea Ceremony Swimsuit Pageant, I learn a tearful lesson...
CAUTION: DYSFUNCTIONAL FLIRTING
|CURMUDGEON I: by Wayan; 1981/7/24, a silly dream.
That broccoli business made the new pope controversial, but when he goes off to find his girlfriend...
CAUTION: CATHOLIC SACRILEGE I'M SURE
|CURSING ISABELLA: by Wayan; 1992/8/19, a thoughtful dream of sorcery.
How I cursed Isabella the sofa sorceress, cursed her with a blueberry. And why that stinks...
CAUTION: UNDER THE MAGIC, IDEAS
|CUTENESS PAGEANT: by Wayan; 2008/8/29, a dream-poem, Dreamverse #16.
I'm trapped in a cute cartoon universe! Worse, to judge this beauty contest,
I have to see past our style to our souls...
|DAD ON THE BOARD: by Wayan; 1981/2/12, a dream of business as usual.
How my dad got onto the board of directors and made the organization his own...
|DANCE OF THE ENIGMAS: by Brian Harp; 2000, a dream of a sphinx-riddle
She asked "What, plus a teaspoon of knowledge and
a teaspoon of wisdom, makes three teaspoons of nothing?"
|DANCING BACKWARD: by Roswila; 2007/5/21, a punning dream-poem
I just watch as all the dance students practice the jive step. I think I already know that one...
|DARE: by Catshall; c. 2013/6/13, a haiku on an incubated nightmare
I challenged my dreams to hit me with their worst. And they did...
|DATELINE WEDNESDAY: by Wayan; 1987/12/27, a dream of the shamanic heartland
On Thursdays, in Tungusia, looking at your watch could save your life...
CAUTION: DEFAMES SIBERIANS
|A DAUGHTER TO DOTE ON: by Thomas Madden; 2017/9/17, a dream on gender? Family pressure? Both?
My dad saw a mob killing; our family enters witness protection. But why's my new role female? Well, my parents...
CAUTION: WILLING OR UNWILLING DRAG?
|DAWN'S DIVORCE: by Dawn Z; 2002/3/1-21, an outrageous dream sequence
While going through a painful breakup, I kept having sexy, lucid, psychic dreams...
|DAWN'S TOILET: by Dawn Z and Wayan; 1999/1/6, two strongly parallel dreams
Wayan dreams of surprising Dawn on the toilet. She dreams that flushing away evidence of Foul Play won't work...
|DEAD RIGHTS! DEAD RIGHTS!: by Wayan; 1983/10/1, a dream of the other side.
I die young, to get it over with, like chickenpox. As I slowly revive, I face bias against the dead. So..
|DEAF TO MY SIGNS: by Wayan; 1997/6/17, a wise frustration dreamtale.
Watching a slideshow, in a room of deaf women, I find no one can hear me in either English or Sign...
|A DEAL WITH GOD: by Wayan; 1987/10/21, a heretic dream.
Evangelists pester me until I get so mad I make an on-the-spot deal with...
CAUTION: MAD AT CHRISTIANS AGAIN
|DEVILMENT: by Wayan, 2017/8/13, two dreams on Queen Bee syndrome
A Queen Bee devil kidnaps my grandniece; I kill her to free the child. Turns out even Hell's leaders are relieved.
She returns as a satanic housing developer. Slicker this time, but just as crooked. Must I kill her again?
CAUTION: DEVILS, VIOLENCE (NONGRAPHIC)
|THE DIADEM RATIO: by Wayan; 1994/8/14, an absurdist dream.
I stumble into the middle of a dream conversation--on ghosts, tiaras and pigs--
and struggle to figure out what what on earth we were already talking about...
|THE DILDO SHOW: by Wayan; 2010/1/24, a truly awful dream sitcom
I dream of a TV sitcom with passive boytoys, dildo balloons & a relentless laughtrack...
CAUTION: OH, READ THE TITLE
|THE DINOSAUR ELEVATOR: by Wayan; 1992/11/22, a paradoxical dream.
The dinosaurs I meet manage to prove BOTH time-travel theories! Yet they're contradictory...
|DINO FOR A NIGHT: by Wayan; 2017/7/9, a sci-fi-movie dream poem
I'm turned into a small dinosaur and treated as a guard dog. But I meet a dino girl. We have fun,
once we see it's a movie--they won't kill off the love interests. Hollywood rules make us invulnerable...
|DINOSAUR GAITS: by Wayan; 1998/11/1, a dream on independence.
My paleontologist mom can scuttle like a lizard, so why can't she manage a dinosaur gait?
|DINO SINGULARITY: by Wayan; 2012/3/30, a paleontological speculation in a dream.|
Peering in a spacetime gate, I wonder if all the dinos went extinct. Would we spot an ancient Singularity?
|DINO YARMULKE: by Wayan; 2015/10/13; an odd little dream and portrait
I carelessly burst in on a friend, a gay dinosaur, during a Jewish holiday rite,
startling him so he raises his spiny crest, levitating his yarmulke...
|DISCARDS: by Wayan; 2008/3/24, a rap heard in a dream--Dreamverse #39
A Marin girl finds a dirty secret in the school library--they discard the unpopular.
She kinda identifies with the discarded books. And discarded people...
|THE DISPLAY: by Wayan; 1997/10/17, a natural history dream.
I'm trapped in a nature documentary about mating displays among humans...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, PBS NARRATION, AND OTHER EMBARRASSMENTS
|DISTRACTUS: by Wayan, 2004/5/5, a comic sexy diagnostic dream... that baffled me.
Sex in a meadow? A protest march distracts us. But a friend warns me of a disease, Coitus Distractus...
CAUTION: (DISTRACTED) SEX
|DOG BITES CAT: by Wayan; 2015/2/17; a grating dream-poem
I get bullied into dogwalking. A biter--leaves a cat bloody. You'd think a talking dog'd listen. But Cheney...
|DOG IN A CASSOCK: by Wayan, 1972/2/3, a comically surreal dream-poem
A master criminal is tracked down by a hound in a monk's robe
who's introduced to me as... the President of the United States?
|THE DOG PILOT PROGRAM: by Wayan; 1981/4/23, a dream of doing the impossible.
I get a job in China teaching bus-driving dogs how to fly. I don't know how. Luckily, the dogs...
|THE DOGGYSEY: by Wayan, 2009/11/26, a dream Odyssey predicts my own artistic path
I find I'm a fox singing the Disney musical version of a canine epic: the tale of Odysseus the
Mutt and his purebred Big Brother vying for the paw of Penelope--and the throne of Ithaka...
|DOLLY'S TAROT: by Wayan; 1995/9/5, a dream on roles.
Tarot with Dolly Parton. But I piss her off. "Men! You think I'm dumb, cuz of my tits!" She fixes THAT...
CAUTION: STUPID BREAST HUMOR BUT AT LEAST IT'S NOT GRUESOME
|DON'T SHOOT THE IBEX: by Jane Doe; 2005/8/9, a hunting dream.
My hunting license won’t let me legally shoot a giraffe or ibex, but I do bag a prime Macy’s salesman...
CAUTION: LICENSE TO KILL
|DRAMA IS HELL!: by Thomas Hood; 1824?; a comic nightmare
When my first play failed, I tried to console myself by reading Paradise Lost.
But drama and devils don't mix...
|DRAMATIC PARASITES: by Wayan; 1995/6/28, a dream on fear of success.
I project I'll make a lot more money soon. Good, now I can support all my lazy friends! Wait...
|DREAM CLARITY, or, the Field of Psychotherapy: by Wayan; 1996/11/27, a dream on dreams
While we're making crop-circles in the field of psychotherapy, my hypnotist and I start to argue...
|DREAM OF A DREAM OF NIGHT: by Robert Watson; 1960s, a dream-poem
The goddess of Night is in love with me, but I'm married, and tired, and just full of excuses...
|DREAM SHORTAGE: by Wayan; 1985/12/1, an appropriately short dream.
I meet two women in dream-prison. One's a giant, one a miniature. A fairy? She says, 'No, I'm..."
|THE DREAMSUIT: by Wayan; 1992/7/12, a dream on unconscious programming.
An experimental helmet knocks me out. I'm groggy, miserable, till I learn what it did to others...
|DRIVER'S TEST: by Wayan; 1984/1/8, a comical Kafka dream.
It's not easy to get a California driver's license, ever since the Dept. of Motor Vehicles went Jungian...
|DRY HUMPING ON STAGE: by Marilyn Stablein; 1968, a dream while visiting Nepal... for six years
I'm chosen to demonstrate crazy sex positions with a Tibetan lama on stage in front of a crowd...
CAUTION: GOOFY SEX
|DUCK!: by Wayan; 1988. Digital painting of a dream, 1987/6/5.
I was on one of those package dream-tours--an hour here, a scene there. But then in Patagonia...
CAUTION: CREEPING PAGANISM
|EAR TO THE, UH, WALL: by Wayan; dreamed 1983/10/10
Granny's magic nipple helps me foil the yuppies dumping toxic waste. But does it count if I did it just to save my own...
CAUTION: LOWLIFE LANGUAGE
|EAT MORE FIBER: by Wayan, 1996/8/8, a nutritious little dream.
Concerned about my health, I up my fiber intake. But not from the usual sources, though...
CAUTION: BAD DIETARY ROLE MODEL
|EDITORS: by Gavin Ewart; late 1970s, recurring nightmares of censorship.
My new editor starts rejecting my poems. My new new editor rewrites them for me. I feel lucky not to be arrested...
|THE EDUCATION OF A DREAM: by Wayan; 1998/7/7, a dream on dreams.
A young, naive, ethereal dream gets an Animus to guide her through the crazy material plane...
CAUTION: GRATUITOUS WILLIAM SHATNER
|EIGHT ELFLOCKS: by Wayan; 2007/8/11, an absurd psychic sex dream.
I learn weird sex positions from an abused elf, have calligraphic orgasms, and then I, uh, turn on my stereo...
CAUTION: SEX, ESP, ANORGASMIA, PAST LIVES, ABUSE ISSUES
|EL ASNO!: by Wayan; 1995/1/20, a political dreamtale.
In a field in the Central Valley, I face the Terror of California...
CAUTION: FIENDISH LEFTIST PROPAGANDA
|ELLIS CRITIQUE: by Wayan; 2008/12/10, four dreams comically challenge Havelock Ellis's dream-theories!
Pa warns me to protect my paws. Then gilt wounds my sole.
Then a lioness eats a tasty drumstick. Then a bus crashes on our corner--for real!
|THE ENTWINED CHILD AND MADAM PURR-SAY: by PurplePurplePurple; 2013/7/5, twin poem-dreams
I dream my autistic son, miraculously high-functioning, recites a math-poem to a crowd...
Then I become cartoon cat Madam Purr-Say and chant my own defiant poem at the dream gods...
CAUTION: FIRST POEM AUTISTIC, SECOND PISSY
|ESCAPE FROM PBS!: by Wayan; 1992/9/17, a trapped-in-TV nightmare.
I'm trapped in a TV documentary on nuclear war! Better dive through a TV screen and find a safe sitcom...
|FASCION: by Wayan; 1992. Nondream digital poster on beauty & gender
A sardonic little poster on dating-role reversal with helpful advice...
CAUTION: NUDITY AND INTRUSIVE PHALLUS
|FASHION SHOOT: by Wayan, Oct-Dec 2000; nondream ceramic sculpture 10.5" long.
Inspired by a fashion outtake of model and director clowning. I fused the director and the camera, and...
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY
|FEDERALIST SCHOOL: by Wayan; 2013/8/20; a happy advisory dream
A free university just opened in town. The curriculum evolves by natural
selection. Anyone can teach! Should I? Just don't eat the food...
|FEVER HILL: by Wayan; 1991/4/13, a comic Buddhist nightmare.
My fever-dreams manifest physically and mess up my whole neighborhood. Seismic inspectors arrive...
|FEVER DREAMS: by Wayan; 1993/9/8, a set of wild feverdreams.
While my body expels a kidney stone, weird scenes happen on the astral plane. At least I get to dip the pope.
CAUTION: PAIN, PEE, POPE
|FIGHTING A VIRUS: by Wayan, 1998/11/21, a diagnostic nightmare.
Coming down with a virus, I dream of a guy who INSISTS we must fight, it's just so FUN...
|FIGURE DRAWING: NOW HOLD THAT POSE: by Wayan; 1989/11/6 digital sketch of model clowning.
Shasé liked absurd, impossible poses, and she held them heroically...
CAUTION: SILLY NUDITY
|FIRE-CATS: by Wayan; 1981/10/10; twin dream-poems on over-discipline
For mere disobedience, I EXECUTE a forest-fire-fighting cat! So next
I'm trapped in a security-obsessed job; how do I like it? I flee...
|FIRST IMPRESSIONS: by Wayan; 2004/5/20, a dreamsong (MP3+lyrics); Dreamverse #0
I meet a monster--half earthworm, half giraffe. Then I realize she’s kind of cute...
|FIVE BLUNT TEETH: by Wayan; 2011/2/17, a biting nondream shape-poem
I read The Best American Poetry, 2007, but it just isn't, and I find myself writing a Savage Response...
|THE FLASHBACK: by Wayan; 1985/11/28, a dark dream-farce.
I'm a monster working in a shopping mall in Stockton, California, when I smell smoke...
CAUTION: FILM NOIR SEX
|FLOCK WISDOM: by Alder; 1958, a magic comic frustration dream
My eighth grade class is a flock of birds migrating south for the winter, but we don't migrate the easy way...
|FLYING CARPET: by Marilyn Stablein; 1968, a dream while visiting Nepal... for six years
In Kathmandu, I'm given a flying carpet--but it skims along
only a few feet up, and ambles slower than I can walk...
|FOINBREK THE MOOSE: by Wayan; 1993/12/4, a dreamtale on love and work.
My lesbian twin, who lives in the unemployment line, falls in love with a pushy moose from Brooklyn...
CAUTION: INEPT SEX
|FOOT!: by Wayan; 1980/11/3; poem based on silly obsessive dreamlets
I dream all night of weird feet: a blue alien holograph of one, a band called Foot, parasails turning into sky-feet...
|FOOT ON THE GAS: by Wayan; 1982/3/16, a creepy little warning dream.
My car's idling too fast. After hours of diagnosis, I notice a foot's on the gas! Only it's not MY foot...
|THE FOUNT OF CANADIAN WISDOM: by Wayan; 1982/11/17; a dream-poem on miracles. Stupid miracles.
A Jungian figure dispenses Wisdom. Overwhelmed, annoyed, I try to shut him up
by manifesting money out of nowhere. But nothing shuts up the Fount of...
|FRANCHISE!: by Wayan, 1995/10/12, a dream-comic (ill. text ed.) with a serious warning.
I was the first woman made High Commissioner of Baseball. One day a team of mutants begs a franchise...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, BAD TEAMWORK, HORNY BEES
|FREAKY DREAM, or, HEART IN MY STOMACH: by Ratiries Steelclaw; c. 2004/3/30, a dream comic
I felt like my heart was in my stomach. My friend Lyx opened me up and confirmed it was. She scolded me for eating it...
|FROGWOMAN MARCH: by Wayan; 2000/11/26, poem of a surreal but almost plausible dream.
Two protesters, under the weight of full scuba gear and flippers, waddle toward City
Hall--the first steps of a transcontinental march. Or at least transcontinental waddle...
|FUCK CALIFORNIA!: by Wayan; 2004/10/15, a surreal, embarrassing dream
I'm trying to hump the entire State of California. In public, too. What brought THIS on? Well, actually, I know...
CAUTION: OBSCENE SITUATION--AND TITLE. OOPS, TOO LATE.
|FUNKY BUTT UGLY: by Wayan; 1993/7/26, a dream of a Shadow.
We're interviewing new housemate candidates. Only I fail to recognize that one is my own shadow...
|A GENERAL HISTORY OF TRANSPORTATION (AN EXCERPT): by Georges Perec; April 1972, his Dream #115
Parking structures with spiral ramps are, secretly, screws harvesting motion from parking cars, slowly drilling
into near-impenetrable rock. Thus are skyscraper-foundations made...
|GEORGE AND WILMA: by Wayan, 2011/10/25, an animation-mashup dream done as a poem
George Jetson is married to Wilma Flintstone. But they're both big cats.
And when George comes home, high on mushrooms, he doubts what's on his bed...
CAUTION: CARTOON ADULTERY
|THE GEYSER: by Wayan; 2014/3/22, a mock Dickinson poem on a dream telling us what to be
I dream my sister has an epiphany--we should relax, blur our boundaries, and just be sloppy
Geysers of Good. Surprisingly, my financier mentor agrees...
CAUTION: DECLARES CAPITALISM OBSOLETE
|GIRAFFE MISSION, or, THE 17TH FOOT: by Wayan, 2017/1/30, a Seussian dream-poem on how views broaden
I was in the Mission with friends. A giraffe saw me as narrowminded, and lifted me up
to show me HIS viewpoint. No insights--till we topped the roofline...
|THE GIVE-AWAY: by Wayan; 1982/6/7, a career nightmare.
My parents pray for my success, and arrange a great learning opportunity for me. Really.
|A GLUM BAR: by Wayan; 2000/4/12, the quietest of nightmares.
My house is a bar that never closes. You know what a gay bar is. Well, we're the opposite: a....
CAUTION: BAD VIBES
|GOAT WITH A HUMAN HEAD: by Steve Carter, 2008/7/12; a dream image.
Walking around my brother's farm, I met this goat with a human head. He'd been playing with matches...
|GOD DRESSED YE, MARE: by Wayan; Christmas carol misheard 1968/12/25, drawn as comix 2008/6/28
At 15 I misheard God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen and liked my version better. "Lit muffin, rude Esmé"...
|GODEVILLE: by Wayan; 2013/9/1, a nightmare of that Old-Time Religion
I'm at a vaudeville for gods. They strut onstage. Cthulhu the squid-god nearly tramples me! Then Cthulhu gets horny...
CAUTION: GROSS GOD, GROSS GOO
|THE GOLDEN JOCKSTRAP: by Wayan, 2017/3/8, a dream on meeting your own needs
I walk into a Castro fashion shop with Dalí décor--golden underwear draped on branches. And my friends all buy it...
CAUTION: UNDERWEAR JOKES
|GOLDIE'S RHINOPOTAMUS: by Wayan; 2013/4/10, a Fellini dreamjoke with advice.
I'm in Venice. The police chief (armored) and Goldie Hawn (near-naked)
ride a skittish monster. Turns out bareback works better...
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY
|GORDO'S EYES: by Wayan; 1981/2/14, a dream warning.
The old cartoon character Gordo has another girlfriend. But his pets say he only loves the hunt, not her...
|GREEN DAY DREAM: by Cristy C. Road; early 1995. A recurring dream.
Green Day singer Billie Joe hocked a lugie on me in concert. I felt blessed...
|GRIMOIRE AND PACT: by Wayan, 2013/8/4, twin dreams of infestations of... health? illness? sex? magic?
Two sisters want to lick me all over, but they lick everything; weird gut-fauna make them immune to toxins...
Fairy eggs infest my home--become worms, then tiny horses, then mothwinged hobbits, then adult fairies....
CAUTION: NUDE EQUINES & FAE; PARASITES (OR SYMBIOTES?)
|GROTTO OF BREASTS: by Gary Snyder, 1965/7/3, a bizarre High Sierra dream
In Europe, I enter a cave-shrine. The rocks are lined with breasts. I suck one. It gives milk. They all do. A plaque says...
|GROUNDHOG DAY: by Wayan; 1994/9/2, a dream-comic (or text with pix)
James Hillman is the first psychologist on the moon! He sees a shadow and
panics like a groundhog--mistakes it for Death. Not his own shadow, but MINE...
|THE GURU OF CASH: by Wayan; 2009/7/7, a comic predictive financial dream
My friend Dawn drags me to a cultish workshop. But I fall asleep! Or is that bad? The Financial Guru awards me $1250 for spiritual napping...
CAUTION: RIDICULOUS UNTIL...
|HAND US THE FRENCHMAN!: by Wayan; 2004/10/24, a comic dreamlet on hippiedom's last gasp
The Feds order my friend Mike to hand them a Frenchman we haven't seen in years. Mike substitutes a junk VW...
|HAVE YOUR COCK AND EAT IT TOO: by Wayan; 2007/4/14, a dream of happy autocannibalism
I grew extra penises which bud off me like fruit. So I fry them up like sausages, and...
CAUTION: GENITALIA FOR LUNCH
|HAWK AND CAT: by Wayan, 1981/6/2, a dream of ethics and terror.
My best friend is a cat. Problem is, I'm a rare hawk--a Cat-Eater. I never, ever would, but...
|HE HAS REPENTED: by Frederick Greenwood; before 1894, a pre-Freud discovery of the unconscious
A con artist fools me and a waiter. But if my dreamfolk are all me, who's fooling whom?
|HE LOOKED SOURLY: by John Dee; 1582/11/24, a mage's dream of dying, and after.
The foremost wizard of Shakespeare's age dreams he's dead. They're burning his books, but that doesn't bother him...
|THE HEAD FACTORY: by Wayan; 2014/8/24, a dream-poem on changing your mind
I toured the factory where they make the spare heads you put on and take
off to change your mind. Nothing creepy about it, nothing at all...
|HEIST THE GOLDEN EGGS!: by Wayan; 2008/7/18, a dream of do-it-yourself tech--and ethics
Two teens crack a bank with a homemade rocket--but forgot a crowbar! Caught, but
the bank can't press charges; the kids have proof the bank uses slave labor...
CAUTION: DISSES CAPITALISM
|HELL-TORNADO: by Wayan; 1988/7/2, a dream on social engineering.
Who built the tornado in the Heartland, that sucks anyone who opens their spirit-wings down to Hell?
CAUTION: BAD THEOLOGY, WORSE PHYSICS
|HELP YOUR NEIGHBOR: by Wayan; 2 illus., 1994/2/18, a comic nightmare.
I'm an organic almond grower who's solved the Luminous Snail problem. But my neighbor has an agenda...
|HERE COMES A CHOPPER: by Wayan; 1983/6/20, an absurd nightmare on families and denial
The helicopter over our family home dipped too low. CRASH! Burning rotors in the living room.
I call 9-1-1, but the pilot scolds me! "Calling over a little explosion like this!"...
|HERMIT IN THE PIPE: by Wayan; 1999/5/2, a dream of the end.
I'm a holy man sneaking into a sewerpipe at the beach, to pop anxiety pills in shame. Do they even work?
CAUTION: CHEMICAL CRUTCHES
|HIGH IN THE MOUNTAINS: by Hélène Cixous; before 2003; a comic dream
My little brother catches and rides a fairy goose down steep mountain slopes, demanding it grant his wishes...
|HIGHER LEVEL: by Wayan; 2011/12/13, an absurd transcendent dream
I paddle through the grim streets of Karachi on my belly, on a skateboard,
with my flipper-hands, until at last I reach the border to a Higher Realm...
|HIJACK! The Christmas Special: by Wayan; 2012/4/13, a trapped-in-bad-TV dream.
I'm stuck on a jet full of cartoons. We get hijacked by a kid who just wants
pilot practice, and then a talking cactus counter-hijacks us...
CAUTION: THE F-WORD
|HILLARY AND TEAL: by "A 24-Year-Old Californian Woman"; around 2008/2/28, an absurd political dream
Hillary Clinton hid her cancer, but the GOP found out. So a monster kidnaps Rainbow Brite, and...
|HILLARY’S EYES: by Margaux Williamson; February 2008, a political romance dream
Hillary Clinton was trying to seduce me, and doing a pretty good job, too...
|HITLER'S CAR: by Wayan; 1982/6/9, I review a creepy book. Then my dreams review ME.
A book claims Hitler's circle was a cult, not a party, out to apply mystical theories--like Manson! Then I dream...
CAUTION: RABID RANTING
|THE HOG AND VIBRATOR SHOW: by Wayan; 2014/11/7, an obscene comic nightmare
The gameshow has two old men humping sextoys on the floor as the audience
watched. That wasn't the gross bit. It was when they released the hogs...
CAUTION: OBSCENE GAMESHOW
|HOGAMUS HIGAMUS: by Mrs Amos Pinchot, or Claire MacMurray? Nov. 1939, a disavowed dream-poem.
She dreamed she'd written a wise and beautiful poem. Half asleep she scribbled it down. Awake, she found it read...
|THE HOMONKEYLUS: by Wayan; 1992/6/15, a looping dream about blinders.
A smiling beauty queen on a float gives birth to a monkey with blinders, then re-absorbs the baby, then...
CAUTION: NUDITY AND ODDITY
|HOP: by Emily Joy, Maddie, and Kathe, 2004/3/31; three linked dreams of a single character
Three friends in one bed dream three dreams in one night about a talking rabbit with a persistent request...
|HOP TO THE SHAH: by Wayan; 2010/5/18, a flying political dream
Diplomacy's failed. To stop the impending Iranian War single-handed,
I hop like a monster flea across Iran to corner the New Shah...
|THE HORSE VOTERS: by Wayan; 1995/4/30, a dream on race? Or...
19th century horsebreeders crossbred more than they admit. One suggests I look hard in the mirror...
CAUTION: UNSEEMLY SENATORIAL DISCOURSE
|HOT, BOTHERED AND BEWILDERED: by Wayan; 1981/5/8, a dreamtale.
In a club, a new genderbending band. One singer gets me hot, but completely confused--for good reason...
CAUTION: SEXUAL SITUATIONS, GENDERBENDING
|HOW THE WAYAN GOT ITS NAME: by Wayan, 1986/5/23, a predictive dream on names (& manes)
A telepathic unicorn-lion says my true name is Wayan. And my true species? I'm like him!
I wake, change my name to fit the dream, move to a new city. Near my new house,
my dream-name is scratched into the concrete sidewalk...
|THE HYPOTHALAMUS: by Georges Perec; October 1971, a dream of embarrassment. Dream #95
I learn my book A Void, supposedly written without the letter E, has lots of them--
crawling with errors. But at least I can spy on the neighbors...
|I AND I, or, RENTADATE: by Wayan; 1983/6/18, a dream of ego-loss AND proliferation.
After the revolution, I rule. But I get out of touch. So I throw a party and invite me, myself and I...
|I BLUSH TO REPORT: by Wayan; 1986/12/11, two stupid dreams.
Two embarrassing dreams the same night: I learn why I don't have cancer and can't buy giant panties...
|I HAD THE STRANGEST DREAM, AND YOU WERE THERE: by Wen Spencer; c.2016;
a writer's dream comically summing up her own fantasy series.
My characters are all dancing together. Roach is flanked by friends--but they turn into elves.
As dragons, elves, tengu & robot mice join in, Roach slowly freaks...
|I WANT A SHILLING: Anonymous #4; c.1920?, a dream on the precise value of ideals
I’m at a lecture on Art, Beauty and the Nude, but no one paid the model and he wants a drink...
|I WANT MY INHERITANCE: by Wayan; 1989/12/18, a dream on family brainwashing.
My family calls me a blonde bimbo and won't give me my inheritance, so I take drastic steps...
CAUTION: MORAL HAIRSPLITTING
|I WAS AN ELEPHANT HANDLER: by Wayan; 1989/4/3, a genderbent stagestruck dream.
I was an elephant trainer longing to be a star--to win the girl on the flying trapeze. Who's probably straight...
CAUTION: FLIRTING LESBIANS, OR POSSIBLY ELEPHANTS, OR MAYBE LIBRARIANS
|ICERINK: by Wayan; 1980/8/23, a warning dream.
Psychodrama seemed like a way to meet cool people. But when I dreamed they were ice-skating rioters...
|IN IO: by Wayan, 1981/8/7, a wild otherworldly dream with 3 illustrations.
I live on Io. It's nicer than its photos. At least inside, where the oceans are--where I grow a second head...
|IN PRAISE OF DREAMS: by Wislawa Szymborska; c. 1992, a paean to why dreamwork's fun
Yes, dreamwork can be heavy, but remember all you can do in dreams...
|INGENIOUS ADVERTISEMENTS: by Elizabeth Kew; 1930s?, a cynical dream come true.
My friend put an ad on her gown, so I try one on our house. I have big ideas for more, but a pickpocket...
|INSTANT SON: by Lily; 2014/9/25, a telepathic dreamlet
I dreamt I met my friend Karen, looking like she did years ago... except she was
towing around a son about seven years old! And she'd been childless. I called her, and...
|INUIT MEDITATION: by Wayan; 1989/11/16, a surreal dream-comedy.
I'm the first tuna to get a scholarship to Stanford. Naturally I sign up for a course in Inuit Meditation...
|IRONY: by Wayan; 2007/6/15. A vertical comicstrip burned into (naturally) an ironing board
I'm so sick of irony I decide to get my sense of irony surgically removed and replace it with...
CAUTION: PLAYING WITH FIRE
|THE IRRATIONALITY OF DREAMS: by Wayan; 1989/12/31, a New Year's dream.
On TV, the first Jungian anima to leave the unconscious is granting an interview. But the questions are...
|IT MUST BE SOMEONE SHE ATE: by Sorcha; 2008/10/11 and mid-Jan. 2009, a recurring comic news-nightmare
Cilda Spitzer and Hillary Clinton sentence America's bimbos to a shitty fate. But what of their cheating husbands?
|IT WASN'T EASY: by Wayan; 1983/2/24, a dream of escaping my family's unrealism
An Arabian prince kidnaps my girlfriend and me. We eventually escape his flying palace, but she gets trapped in
Victorian underwear, while I escape feuding politicians by turning myself into a truck tire. NOT a smart move...
CAUTION: BOGUS VICTORIAN SEX-EUPHEMISMS
|JACKPOT: by Catshall; 2007/5/29. A dream on sex, art and change--a flood of change!
How did my bondage dream turn into a slot-machine jackpot? And what kind of change is pouring out?...
CAUTION: (CON)SENSUAL BONDAGE
|JADE JACKPOT, or, A HEAP O' CHANGE: by Wayan; 1990/1/7, a dream of shaking down God.
I'm slipping dimes into a boulder of jade: a vending machine that fills every order wrong. Why feed it? Well...
|JANEWAY'S TANGO: by Wayan, 1998/10/20, a psychic Star Trek dream.
Why is Captain Janeway doing the tango with another woman, in a creek, wearing a mermaid tail?
|JEAN ARP'S OCTOPUS: by Wayan; 2001/2/26; a surreal dream of my surreal reaction to a surrealist and his... lunch
A library shows me surrealist Jean Arp's sketchbook. One Eschery sketch with repeated focal points is hypnotic.
But they also show me his lunch, and I try to eat it! I fail. Head & gut disagree. Stuck Arp-way...
CAUTION: NEVER EAT 12-YEAR-OLD SUSHI
|JERRY BROWN'S LAW: by Wayan; 2011/4/8; a dream of a political joke. Isn't it a joke?
The State tests my art. I worry they'll stereotype me as another Crumb.
So I tell an absurd lie about our governor. But my joke kinda makes sense...
|J.F., T.B. AND ME: by Dream Junkee; 2008/1/24, a lucid nightmare-comedy
Lucid, I summon a sexy literary character. But he tries to take over my personality and make it his lucid dream...
|A JOB WELL DONE: by Wayan; 1981/3/2; a dream-farce with a serious warning
The tale of a fawn named Fawn and her mom, a bank-robbing hippopotamus...
CAUTION: GLAMORIZES THIS ALARMING TREND
|JOE COOL IN FINANCIAL HELL: by Wayan; 2009/6/15; Dreamverse #46
When the school district goes bankrupt, students flee creditors into a hell-cave.
But Joe Cool can skateboard even on lava in the Pit...
|JOIN THE HUMAN RACE: by Wayan; 1985/2/11, a Gordian dream.
My shortcut in a marathon bogs down in a maze full of psychoanalysts! So I climb the walls and...
|JUMBLE by Nancy Price; 1948, a comically exaggerated predictive dream
A bewildering dream of a boy's borrowed bath, absconding renters' furniture and fly-eating turns real a few weeks later...
|KICK THE PRESIDENT: by Wayan; 1999/6/1, a dream on consequences.
I win a free game of Kick the President. But what if everyone can see your kick-ass Prez but you?
CAUTION: THIS DREAM IS MONITORED BY THE SECRET SERVICE
|KIDNAP LI PO!: by Wayan; 1990/1/16, a poetic dream.
I dream a Chinese fable: how the poet Li Po was abucted by the gods, till they face heavenly justice...
CAUTION: ABDUCTION, DRUNKS, EVIL PUN
|THE KING OF PERSIA: by Wayan; 1990/4/1, an annoying family dream.
My dad has a time machine, so he generously invites the King of Persia over. And offers him MY room...
|KISS THE CATS: by Wayan; 2008/8/23, a dream poem, Dreamverse #13
I have to kiss a mess of cats. Fishy, but I'm not chicken. My real beef is with the humans watching...
|LAING: by R.D. Laing; 1983/2/18, two excerpts from a talk on transpersonal dreams.
R.D. Laing gives two examples of dream-spillage suggesting it's not passive but playful...
|LAKOTA TRAINSCAPES: by Wayan; 2018/10/30, art seen in an anti-lucid dream
In a general store on a High Plains rez, I find two surreal collaged postcards. If only
this were a dream they'd qualify for the World Dream Bank, but sadly, it isn't. Right?
CAUTION: STUPID, STUPID CONSCIOUS!
|THE LEAD HAZARD OF WITCHES: by Wayan; 2008/11/21; an alternate-world dream
I'm in an America where witches are burned & abused women grow on trees. Yet three of us heal...
CAUTION: CREEPY PARALLEL WORLD
|LET GO THE SAFE: by Wayan; 2014/2/6; poem of a lucid flying dream
I'm pushing a safe off a roof in Berkeley so it won't be pushed off the roof
(yep, you read that right) but it pulls me with it! Either die, or go lucid and fly...
|LIE TO AVOID MURDER: by Wayan; 2016/3/3, a sex dream prompting nonsexual action
Two jealous women symbolize Hillary Clinton & Donald Trump. Trump wants me to KILL Clinton. I lie to avoid...
CAUTION: SLEAZE? OR A SLY WAY TO PROTECT VICTIM?
|A LIFE IN PERCENTAGES: by Wayan; 2013/5/19, a dream about dreams--and timesharing
A man I meet leads half a dozen consistent dreamlives--an experience
so splintered that it's hard to figure out which life is his waking one...
|THE LIMIT OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE: by Wayan; 1974/3/13, a dream of madness.
Deep in the caves, a Voice announces I've gone as far as the human mind can stand. But ahead, I see...
|LION EYES: by Patagia; 2007/11/??, a serious dream-prank.
Lions trap me in an African cave with only coffee, paper and pens! Is this what it takes to get me to write?
|LIONS AND TIGERS: by William Archer's friend; before 1924, a zootheological dream.
At the zoo, Archer's friend found the tigers caged but the lions roaming free. The reason? Lions fear hell, but tigers...
|LITTLE DEVILS: by Roswila, 2007/10/30; a dreamku
A dream haiku of little devils dancing the conga. What's it mean? Well, check the date...
|LITTLE NEMO'S BED: by Winsor McCay; c. 1906, a famous if probably fictional dream icon
Little Nemo's bed gets restless and takes him for a wild ride through town and up onto roofs...
|LOBSTER ECSTASY: by Wayan; 1970/11/1?, a teenage lobster love dream.
One of my first recorded dreams--how I foolishly turned away from Lobster Love...
CAUTION: CHITINOUS SEX
|LONELY NO MORE!: by Wayan; 2000, a sculpture of American singlehood.
The Dating Fairy, built on lonely evenings waiting for her to call me back--whoever "her" was that week...
CAUTION: NUDITY, SEXUAL THEMES
|THE LORD CHANCELOR'S NIGHTMARE: by Gilbert & Sullivan; 1882, a comic song-lyric on insomnia
The Lord Chancelor can't sleep, and when at last he does, he drifts through nightmares full of baby lawyers
and potted tradesmen sprouting fruit, and cutthroat corporate scheming. But that's Victorian dreaming!
|THE MAD DATER: by Mark Varitz and Wayan; 1996/10/29, linked (telepathic?) nightmares.
Always ask permission to throw rocks at your date. No, not those big ones! Where's the nearest hospital?
CAUTION: SURREAL DATE ABUSE
|MAFIA DENTIST: by Wayan, 2007/7/10; a predictive comic nightmare.
My dentist (a Haitian Mafia leader) sends a message to my dad (also a Mafia don) by dental cruelty....
|A MAMMOTH FIGHT: by Wayan; 1996/2/26, a dream of another life. A tacky other life.
I'm a fight promoter whose biggest deal ever is maybe too big for me. How'd it become a four-way bout?
CAUTION: CRASS ACT
|MARINE GEOLOGY'S NOT IT: by Wayan; 1984/6/2, a dream farce.
After finding marine geologists in my chocolate pudding, I'd rather be a Frenchman and insult my wife...
|MARTIAN ROBOTS DRESS LIKE FREUD: by Wayan, 1975/8/16, an absurd dream... predicting my life-path?
Martian robots pester me. I flee through the Asteroids, leaving chaos, cratering Earth.
Years later on my farm, a bot shows up disguised as Freud. I start mudslinging...
|MATISSE: by Wayan; 1988? early digital daydream.
An early piece about Matisse, and his models, and quilting, and disembodied heads...
|MATISSE IS NO MOE: by Wayan; 1988. Matisse-style collage-poem.
An elegy to a great paper-cutter, and three (or was it four?) sado-humorists who still scare me a little...
|MCKILLIP'S NEW BOOK: by Wayan; 2010/7/23, an epic literary dream
I'm inside a magical novel by Patricia McKillip, amid tricksters, cosplayers, spooks, sex changes, levitation and (sigh) cops...
CAUTION: COYOTE SEX
|MIND OF A MURDERER: by Mary Arnold-Forster; between 1910 & 1920, a dream on self-justification
I sink into a book on a murderer who rationalizes away all guilt, but pull out thinking "How morbid!"...
|MISSION TO MACEDONIA: by William Archer; 1919/7/6, a pseudo-psychic dream-within-a-dream.
I'm offered a spy-mission to Macedonia, and recall I dreamt this last night--a prophetic dream! Then wake...
|THE MIX-UP: by Marilyn Stablein; 1968, an early comic dream of human-induced climate change
Tibetan prayers for good weather are answered too well. Heat wave! Tourists fly in, but planes can't land--
melting glaciers flood the airstrips. So tourists eager to sunbathe in Tibet strap on parachutes, prepare to jump...
|MOM POPS: by Wayan; dreamed 1983/8/5, a dream of bursting your inner critic
The flood sickens my fuchsia bush. My mom says my fuchsia is hopeless,
but I make up a treatment. When it works, well... read the title.
CAUTION: PUNS, EXPLODING MOM
|MOOD ELEVATOR: by Wayan; dreamed 1982/5/12, a surreal/comic dream opposing mood enhancers
Dinner with the Lightbulb Heads. When we leave, the Mood Elevators welcome us...
but won't let us out! And in the struggle to escape, heads will roll--and shatter...
CAUTION: HARSH WORDS ON WESTERN MEDICINE
|MORAL MINNOWS: by Wayan; 1992/9/15, a dream of deep politics.
A dream explaining why everyone with any moral vision gets filtered out of politics now...
|THE MOUSE: by Paul Nash; Feb. 1913, surreal bedtime experience triggers surreal nightmare
We save a mouse from a man who claims he eats them. Later I dream I am the mouse...
|MY ART'S IN THE MUSEUM, ALL RIGHT: by Wayan; 1996/2/19, a dream on self-theft.
At last, I get shown in the museum! Sort of. Homeless people sell my art from carts in the lobby. Stolen!...
|MY CUBIST CONSCIENCE: by Wayan; 1982/8/5; a dream warning of overharsh ethics.
I dreamed I was trapped in the maze of my pacifist vegetarian feminist anarchist eco-conscience...
|MY EX-WIFE: by Wayan; 1982/3/23, a dream on delusions.
My ex-wife breaks in, but acts like I've crawled back to her... and I don't HAVE an ex-wife!
CAUTION: ADULT THEMES. REALLY, REALLY STUPID ADULT THEMES.
|MY POETIC LICENSE: by Wayan; 2008/10/5, a self-referencing dream poem; Dreamverse #33
Renewing one's life has its costs. What if you can't pay the price? A dreamlet of warning and shame...
|NAMELESS HAT: by Elizabeth Kew; 1930s?, a comic dream.
Giant worms put me on trial for wearing a nameless hat, but I like their punishment, so I taunt the judge...
|NEST, EGGS AND LEGS: by Jenny Badger Sultan; l993/9/7, a comic mystical dream
Two friends send energy through me, transforming me. Now that
my legs are detachable, I can sit comfortably on my eggs...
|NED'S KISS by Ned's mom and sister Ethel; pre-1961, cledonic dreams of a playful revenant
I wished I could kiss my son farewell. That week, Ethel called. "I dreamed Ned kissed you, not me!
I was hurt. He laughed like anything and kissed me too..."
|NIXON'S BLANKET POLICY: by Wayan; 1974/5/30, a political dream.
After a class in nonverbal communication, I meet Richard Nixon under embarrassing circumstances...
|NO ROOM ON THE MOON!: by Wayan; 2014/7/7; poem of a frustrating surreal dream
I want to catch a crescent moon home--our transit system's been buying up
old moons and running them across town--but tourists reserved all the seats...
|NOCTURNAL HAIRCUTS: by two of Pliny the Younger's servants; 96 AD. Subliminal? Oracular? Prank?
Two boys dream robed figures climb in the window to cut their hair--and find, awake, someone has. While Pliny...
|NORTH FLEET OF THE RAIN: by Wayan; 1974/7/10, an early dream .
A vast galactic fleet hovers around Earth, demanding Rain. What? I fight one of the aliens... and find out.
CAUTION: ADOLESCENT HUMOR. IF THAT.
|NOUVELLE BARBIE BODS: by Ellen Frank (Patagia), 2012/12/22, a playful poem on a dream-diorama
I visited my friend Chris Wayan's workshop and found him building
a dance troupe of joyfully obscene centaurs out of Barbie dolls...
|O LA LA, WHAT A STRANGE DREAM: by Julie Doucet; 1989, a comic space sex dream
Mom gave me cookies for my three-year solo spaceflight. Special cookies for both ends of me...
CAUTION: NUDITY, BAD SEX ADVICE
|THE OBSERVER EFFECT, OR, WATCH THE WATCH: by Wayan; 1997/1/21, a dream of time and opticks.
After seeing an Einstein biography I find myself in the bathrooms of Thought-Experiment High, and...
CAUTION: DARK SIDE OF AN ICON
|OLD ADAM: by Robert Southey; 1804/12/7, a comic dreamlet.
I meet the original Adam. He complains Eve neglects him, but he hopes to meet one of his cleverer descendants...
|OLD HAT: by Wayan; 1988/1/5, a "normal" (i.e. incoherent) dream.
The Goddess gave birth in my workplace. Her fever-dreams become real around us...
CAUTION: BIRTH SCENE, LIBRARIANS' ORGY
|OLDER AND YOUNGER: by 'Rasselon'; 2009/11/17, a dream of erotic deviousness
The older sorceress I'm in bed with plans to marry me off to a younger woman, but I distract her with my tongue...
CAUTION: BEDROOM HUMOR
|ONE FRUIT REMAINS UNEATEN: by Catshall; November 1983, a journal dotted with dreams
My day life as an artist and explorer of the San Francisco underground scene
gets regularly commented on by my dreamlife...
CAUTION: SEX, BONDAGE
|ORBITING MOM: by Wayan; 1997/1/7, an uh-oh dream.
I'm trying to get a moontan when my mom appears. My astral body starts orbiting her like a moon. Uh-oh...
|ORCA TOWS: by Wayan; 1984/5/25, a dream with impact.
I show an Ohio friend the latest California sport. We haven't quite worked out how to land just yet...
|ORE PIRATES, by Wayan, 2009/5/29; a dream-poem, Dreamverse #45
I'm in a movie version of prehistoric Baja California, mining nuggets that howl,
when pterodactyl-worshiping pirates glide in trying to snatch our ore...
|OWL TAVERN: by Dan O'Neill; before 1994/11/2, a dream-comic
I stumble into a bar where the TV stars from my childhood are
drunkenly arguing metaphysics--Howdy Doody, Beany & Cecil, Flipper...
|PALE BLUE: by Wayan; 1997/5/12, a dream on denial.
I pray for love and promptly meet Blue, whose mom treats her like a kid. We change that, but it's messy...
|PASSIONVILLE: by Wayan; 1982/7/10; a surreal dream written as a poem
We're stuck in an empty town whose streetnames are all emotions. And they change.
Rage becomes Giggle. Tedium, Terror! Devious town...
|PIANOBED: by Wayan; 2012/1/22, a health-advisory dream.|
I forgot how to play my pianobed, so I just thrash around in it. And thus thrash music is born (sorry)...
|PIKE JOURNAL: by Wayan; 1984/11/14, a small psychic dream.
I'm peeking at Pike's Peak with Gregory Peck, as we seek my dream-journals in the Hawaiian jungles...
CAUTION: STUPID PSYCHIC PUNS
|PINHEAD HEAVEN: by Wayan; 2013/7/12, an absurd dream-poem
I'm in heaven. But... what can you do up here? And it's so small. Where is everyone?...
CAUTION: WE FIND OUT
|THE PIRATE TWINS: by Wayan; 1996/7/25, a dreamtale on intrigue.
I love the Twins. They love intrigue. So when a hired crocodile sabotages our Egyptian treasure-hunt...
CAUTION: BAD GIRLS
|PIXY CONCUSSION: by Wayan; 2006/3/25, a diagnostic sex-dream comic, 9 p. (or illus. text)
Janet's obsessed with a creepy guy till her pixy friend Kay decides to "knock some sense into her cunt"--literally...
CAUTION: LANGUAGE, NASTY LOVE SPELL, PIXIE NUDITY
|PLANET-SCULPTING APE: by "AE" (George Russell); mid-1870s, a childhood characterological dream.
On a cloud in space I met an ape molding a model of Earth, glancing at the original far below. We were much alike...
|THE PLAY: by Georges Perec; February 1972, a dream with the attention span of a gnat. Dream #108
I'm in a play. Fear, then joyful sex, then ranching, then silly hats, as a man drones on
about class struggle. Weird chairs, pingpong, coffee, impossible double utterances.
At last I tell friends my dream--backwards. Then I write the dream down on slices of cheese...
CAUTION: SEX ONSTAGE
|PLUM CRAZY: by Wayan; fall 1973, an early surreal but nondream poem
Plums float through the autumn air, sending us airmail kisses. If we'll accept delivery...
|POIROT AND THE DICKHEADS: by Wayan; 2010/3/11, a comic antilucid dream|
I'm detective Hercule Poirot, but I'm losing my case and my brain--
because my story isn't by Agatha Christie, it's a knockoff...
CAUTION: PINK DILDO HATS
|THE POWER BEHIND THE GODS: by Wayan; 1972/10/25, a dream on the uses of universe-hopping
I meet the terrible Power Behind the Gods. I don't like it. So I get my squirtgun & shoot its butt.
The enraged Power chases me as blindly as I hoped! I jump into a secular universe, and...
|PREGNANCY FROM HELL: by Wayan; 1994/6/6, a predictive dream-farce.
I'm pregnant with the Antichrist. This is going to ruin my vacation! Why do I think this is all about money?
|PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD: by Wayan; 2009/10/19, a dream poem w/sketch and map; Dreamverse #61
I get stuck with a one-year mandatory gig as President of the World just as Saudi Arabia collapses, and fools rush in...
|THE PRIME DIRECTIVE: by Wayan; 1994/3/9, a pro-meddling dream.
A bunch of primitives try to trick their way into the Federation, slipping around the Prime Directive...
|PSYCHIC FAMILIES ARE SO MUCH FUN: by Wayan; 1980/7/21, a true story of ESP.
My sister's avoiding our nosy parents, but I sense they'll run into her soon. I just didn't know HOW soon...
|PYLONS: by Louis MacNeice; Jan. 1940. A surreal political dream.
I was on a steamer run amok, in a boiling yellow incredible sea out of which great pylons rose...
|THE PYRAMID COW: by Wayan; 1999/12/18, a dreamtale.
Protestors occupy the Transamerica Pyramid and install a cow as CEO... a Cash Cow?
|RACK: by Wayan; 2006/4/4; a comic business-bondage dream
My friend Chris gets tied up at the office--that's his job, looking martyred! But when the boss is away...
|RATTLER BANQUET: by Wayan; 1993/1/29, a pointed nightmare; it leaves punctures!
My parents invite me out to dinner, but there's a rattlesnake under the table,
and my mom chases it up my leg. I wake to find two holes in my knee...
|RAVEN AT 5 O'CLOCK: by Raven and Wayan; 1996/11/30. Shared but stupid psychic dreams.
My girlfriend Raven dreams I keep poking her awake,
while I dream that a giant raven gives me weird advice...
|RECURRING SCHOOL NIGHTMARE: by Julie Doucet; July 1995, a dream of... oh, read the title!
Trapped in elementary school, Julie is forced to study the alphabet
until she declares "I'm a professional cartoonist, goddammit!"...
|RELIEF CARAVAN: by Marilyn Stablein; 1968, a dream while visiting Nepal... for six years
Famine. Our Tibetan monastery's prayers are answered. A caravan of yaks comes over the pass, bearing...
|REMARKABLE: by Joseph Wilkins; 1754, an out-of-body dream
Wilkins visits his parents in a dream. Only they think he's a ghost, and panic--in the real world...
|A RENAISSANCE WOMAN: by Wayan; 1997/7/3, a dreamtale.
I'm an abused girl turning tricks to survive. But this is San Francisco: I join a prostitutes' co-op, and meet...
CAUTION: PROSTITUTES WITH SELF-RESPECT, OH NO!
|REQUIEM FOR GINGER: MAGNIFICAT: by Lily; 2008/1/31, a dream on facing loss.
I dream I’m telling a tall tale about a cat-funeral with hung-over mice pulling the hearse. But it all turns a bit too real...
|ROCKY LOVE: by Wayan; 1984/1/18, a dream farce.
A friend's tragic accident confines him to disco roller skates for life! Worse yet, he's in a Rocky Relationship...
CAUTION: "ROCKY HORROR" REFS, SEX
|THE ROYAL NONESUCH: by Wayan; 1988/4/15, a dream on the media.
My mom and sister take me to see a bondage film. But the movie steals my pants! I should have known...
CAUTION: WORSE THAN PEEWEE HERMAN
|RUNAWAY MOONS: by Wayan; 2011/4/6, an absurd nightmare poem
New moons appear. I try to mash them into a spare Earth, but botch the orbits.
So now, runaway moons rumble down a steep San Francisco hill...
CAUTION: ALWAYS SET PARKING BRAKE
|THE SAN DIEGO CENTAURS: by Wayan; 1985/1/9, a slice-of-life dream.
In San Diego, I fly around disrupting the UFO games in the junkyard,
till I reconnect with a centaur friend
|SANTA CLUMP: by Wayan; 2009/9/16, an absurd dream-poem; Dreamverse #54
I find myself sitting on toy trains and fake snow as I'm told a fable:
how a herd of department-store Santas got tragically lost in a blizzard...
|SATANAGRAM: by Wayan; 1998/8/1, a Christmas song lyric.
A hard-hitting rap on Satan's dumbest disguise. Yet he's gotten away with it! The shocking truth...
CAUTION: LANGUAGE! SACRILEGE! MUCILAGE! (FOR THE BIG WHITE BEARD)
|SATORI ACCORDING TO GHOST: by Wayan; 1998/4/11, a longterm predictive dream
A Buddhist student, troubled by a corporation marketing a product called
"Satori", summons the ghost of her beloved mentor for advice...
|THE SEA-HAG RIOT: by Wayan; 100K, 1989/6/5, a wild dream hiding a warning.
Aliens, hypnotherapy, dancing molars, riots, witches, flying pianos, lettuce... yet there is a point.
|SEE-THROUGH BAGS: by Marilyn Stablein; 1968, a dream while visiting Nepal... for six years
I give plastic sandwich bags to people in Tibet. They go wild for them.
Shortage! An air shipment from Delhi breaks open; Tibetans with butterfly nets...
|SELF-MADE COW: by Wayan; 2013/4/10, a surreal psychic dream.
I'm in Santa Cruz with my friend, a shocking-pink stuffed toy cow
with sewed-on accessories: big red lips, a floral wig, and a third eye. I wake,
draw the dreamcow--and my sister calls from Santa Cruz to sing me a song about...
|SENTENCED TO CHEESE: by a Birmingham physician; early 1850s? a classic subliminal nightmare
One night as I slept over a cheese shop, I dreamt I was trapped in a huge cheese, as a rat-horde gnawed...
CAUTION: YOU ARE LUNCH
|SHARK, SHARK, SHARK!: by Thomas Madden; 2017/12/3, a non-nightmare about fear
I'm in a crowd as a man lectures about sharks. He points at me and asks "Should I throw him in with the shark?"...
|SHHHH!: by Wayan; 1981, daydream in ink.
A sudden image of a woman whose other lips not only talked, they wouldn't shut up. Worse yet, they...
|SHIRT GIRL: by Zooop and Wayan; 1993/10/17, a shared, embarrassing telepathic dream.
A fictional niece acting sexy in a shirt, plus... water balloons? I woke, and a friend told me HER dream...
CAUTION: DREAM INCEST, KIDS WITH GUNS, GENERAL WEIRDNESS
|SHOUT IN A CROWD, or, How to Survey Galactic Civilization: by Wayan; dreamed 2014/4/15,
a dream exposing what my brain's up to when I forget my dreams!
I wander the galaxy in my dreams, finding and testing crowds to see if anyone reacts
to the sound of shouted English or Chinese. One in a thousand does! This implies...
CAUTION: SCIENCE AND SHAMANISM DON'T MIX (or do they?)
|THE SHRINKING POPE: by Sorcha; 2005/4/1, a Jane Bond dream
I’m the only one who can stop the plot to kill the Pope--but if he keeps shrinking like that, will it matter?
CAUTION: RECOVERING CATHOLIC
|SILK PINS: by Wayan; 1992/5/13, a self-mocking dream.
I'm a trade rep for Terra, on a new world. But an old rival, a rep from another world, arrives, and...
|SINK JOHN: by Wayan; 1981/5/25, a dreamtale on "when in Rome..."
My friend sleeps with an alien. He's ugly, but I don't care. What bothers me is, he eats bits of himself...
CAUTION: SEX, RECREATIONAL CANNIBALISM, PROSTITUTION, THE KITCHEN SINK
|SIPHONIAN QUARTET: by Wayan; 2010/4/10, four baffling parallel-world dreams
1: Purple squid saboteurs flood our cliffhouse. 2: My oyster-ranching girlfriend has a snobby aunt.
3: I wake in a stranger's bondage fantasy--ugh! 4: Shepherds on the sea-floor watch for gliderwolves...
CAUTION: EMBARRASSING BONDAGE DREAM
|SIX AND A HALF EXPERTS VIEW THE BEAST: by Wayan; 2018/12/11-2019/1/31
(a poem answering Wallace Stevens's 13 Ways of Looking at a Blackbird)
As the beast in question (and recalling the fable Six Blind Men and the Elephant)
I don't mind letting six half-blind humans have their say--as long as I get my own...
|SKUNK? SWALLOW!: by Wayan; 1981/5/7, a dream-joke with a point.
When I see two scary men on the trail, naturally, I swallow my skunk! I really don't recommend...
|SKY-THAW; 2012/6/8 by Wayan; a comic, surreal, political dream-poem
While watching two rooftop actors (one a chicken) I noticed the icebergs in the sky were melting at last...
|SLEIPNIR: by Wayan; 1987/3/31, a dumb physics dream.
I'm at a physics conference. A new force has been discovered that may just
allow travel faster than light. Strange, how'd the Vikings know?...
|SLUG ETHICS: by Wayan; 1974/10/7, an undream tale.
A man who wants to love and respect all life has unwanted kitchen guests: a wave of slugs...
|THE SMILING SHAW MACHINE: by W.B. Yeats; 1894/4/19, a nightmare about popular success.
After Shaw's Arms and the Man eclipsed my own play The Land of Heart's Desire, I dreamt I was haunted by...
|SNOT-BIRD FORGERY!: a dream by Samuel Pepys, 1667/6/29, & a nightmare by Thomas Macaulay, c.1857
Samuel Pepys dreamt of kidneystones, pee, come, & snot--or did he? Thomas Macauley dreams his niece confesses...
|SO AROUSAL MEANS REM?: by Wayan; 1999/5/19, a dream on dreams.
My sexual orientation shifts arbitrarily, turned on one second, off the next. Who's at the controls?
CAUTION: SEXUAL CONFUSION
|SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED: by Wayan; 1978/10/26, a dreamtale.
A demigoddess and a wizard meddle with humans. But do even THEY know what they're assembling?
|SOULS IN THE MUD: by Wayan; 1981/1/14, a thoughtful dream.
I'm being hunted in Reincarnation Swamp, as I worry--the human population boom
means experienced souls are scarce. Are most folks you meet really dogs, cats... rats?
CAUTION: MYSTIC ELITISM
|SPARROWHAWK: by "Anonymous #14"; pre-1963, a tiny, precise predictive dream
I dreamt a sparrowhawk perched on my shoulder. Next day a friend was given a stuffed sparrowhawk. He...
|SPEAKING FERN: by Wayan; 1991/3/25, a dream-prank.
A dead fern in my backyard starts sending me messages in some strange language...
|SPLAT!: by Wayan; 1995/12/11, a science-fiction dream.
Our physics project is top secret, but a stranger strolls into a meeting and opens a can of green light...
|SPLINTER: by Wayan; 1981/3/14, a dream of love and nagging.
I love Splinter, but her mom insists I got BOTH of them pregnant. Then I notice I'm pregnant too...
CAUTION: SEX, NAGGING
|SPOCK'S SPIRITS: by Wayan; 2000/3/12, a financial-advice dream.
Lost in a dark maze of machine-shops, I follow Mr. Spock, who's drunk, and talks to tree-spirits...
CAUTION: ALCOHOL AS INSPIRATION?
|SPONTANEOUS DUCK: by Wayan; 2010/9/14, two dreams on feeling magically inadequate
I spy on a girl learning magic in a quilted ditch. She lets me join her telekinesis lesson! Can my mind move a balloon?
Then I tour a witch-world where normality's shameful. One kid's not witch or normal--he keeps turning into Donald Duck!
CAUTION: DISNEY = DISABILITY?
|SPOON CHALLENGE: by Emily Joy; 2006/8/30, a mathemagical dreamlet.
I want to drink the elixir, but negative 20 spoons block me! Can I remove them? With warped teacup logic & reciprocals…
|SQUASH WITH WHITE SAUCE: by Wayan; 1983/12/17, not a symbolic dream, no no
I'm in a department store trying on clothes when I notice there's a large zucchini growing from my crotch...
CAUTION: SQUASHY PENIS, ICKY RECIPE
|SQUIRREL GIRL: by Wayan; 1973/10/19, a dream poem of love & rockets
Squirrel Girl and I try to find a private room, but Hal the mad computer in 2001
spies on us and our spaceship captain orders us to clean the ion tubes...
CAUTION: MILD SQUIRREL NUDITY
|A SQUIRRELY BUSINESS PLAN: by Wayan; 2009/3/2, a Looney-Toons dream
I'm slow to catch on that this skunk's slidetalk isn't a business pitch; it's about seduction...
CAUTION: ABSURD LOVE TRIANGLE, KINKY SKUNK
|SQUISH!: by Farelle-Moon; early 2006, drawn 2006/4/6, a comic furry sex dream
I went to bed with a stuffed wolf, and found myself in a hot tub with a
cute wolf guy, only now I seemed to be the plush one...
CAUTION: FURRY NUDITY
|STALLION, NOT MARE: by Wayan; 2018/2/12, a road-rage weirdo provokes an even weirder dream
DAY: a stranger screams "BITCH! Plant a TREE!" Thinks I'm female and wants to fight over an old bumper sticker?
DREAM: I'm a horse detective. In shades, lipstick, & high heels I try to pass as a mare. Absurd! A stallion in drag...
CAUTION: HORSE NUDITY. OH WAIT, THAT'S NORMAL.
|STEAMROLLER: by Richard Wilbur, late 20th Century; an embarrassing dream.
As the steamroller flattened me I became quite a lovely stained-glass window...
|STEPHANIE GODOT: by Wayan; 1994/12/14, a waking comedy of two dreamworkers.
My unconscious sabotages a lunch date with my friend Stephanie. The tricks get weirder, till...
|STINKING RICH: by Wayan; 1993/1/20, a dream about class.
I envy and resent a rich family's mansion so much I break in and sabotage their giant meat freezer...
CAUTION: HOSTILITY, ENVY, WASTE OF BAD FOOD
|STRANGE AUDITION: by Nancy Price; 1948, a predictive theatre-dream
I dream the actors auditioning for George Bernard Shaw’s play are blends of human, avian, and lion.
Next morning I find a card from Shaw asking if I'd fancy playing a lion in his...
|SUBMERGED IN THE WAVE: by Jenny Badger Sultan, 1988/8/3, a comic nightmare
I'm holding a pornographic novel, trying to keep it dry, as huge waves
flood the room. The book and I are both going to get drenched...
|SUCK MY CONE!: by Wayan, 1995/1/11, a bluesy dream.
Nerds built the blues. Rick Moranis, famous blues-nerd, makes a groupie suck his ice cream cone...
CAUTION: MOCKS MUSIC, RACE, VANILLA ICE (CREAM)...
|SURPRISE THAT PENIS: by Wayan; 1986/2/18, a subtly psychic dream.
I hijack a Lacewing Chopper to install a new rubber-band engine, but the motor becomes a talkative penis, and...
CAUTION: ONE WEIRD WEENIE
|SUZETTE: by Wayan; 1981/2/20, a defiant sex/art dream with no one to defy
I dreamed I drew our dog and me mating, then found the drawing on a gallery wall for all to see...
CAUTION: CARTOON BESTIALITY
|THE SWAFFHAM TINKER: by John Chapman and a London shopkeeper; 1460s?, two interlocked dreams
Chapman dreams he must walk 100 miles to London Bridge; on the bridge, a stranger says
"dreams are nonsense! Why, I dreamt of buried treasure 100 miles away, in some town called..."
|SWALLOWED!: by Wayan; 1990/7/30, a warning dream.
An ancient pictograph inspires me to try a meditative technique: shrinking and letting myself be eaten...
CAUTION: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME
|SWEATERPANTS FOR CHRIST!: by Wayan; 2011/6/30, a comic sartorial nightmare poem
I pull my mom's sweater onto my legs but get tangled (and bits of anatomy dangle).
Worse, I'm emulating Jesus. Is this any way to get a date?
CAUTION: WARDROBE MALFUNCTION, GENDER MALFUNCTION, MOM MALFUNCTION
|SYBIL SUE FLANNERY: by Wayan, 1986/10/29, a dream noir.
I'm Sybil Sue, a hard-boiled shapeshifting shamus, on the track
of the most wanted bankrobbers in LA: the Bad Girls...
CAUTION: IN BETWEEN GUNSHOTS, THE BAD GIRLS SWEAR
|TAHOE TAROT: by Wayan; 1988/4/13, a silly mystic flying dream.
My sister and I are playing cards in the air high over Lake Tahoe.
The stakes? The world. But we both cheat...
|TAKE UP YOUR PENN; Dreamed 2015/12/18 by John Wallace; a sly dream
Illusionist Penn Jillette pulls a large-scale prank with an ending not even I see coming...
|TAROT: HAW!: by Wayan; Tarot card, 3x5", summer 1978.
Humor's one of the big emotions--laughter's as loud and uncontrollable as crying or orgasm...
|TARTAN ACID SPIDER TORPEDO: by "Thomas Mountain"; 2008/1/31, a cliffhanger dream.
I get speared by Irish warriors, slipped an LSD dose, chased by giant spiders, torpedoed--hey, I'm not bored!
|TEETH IN HIS THIGH: by Wayan; 2008/10/30, an embarrassing dream-poem: Dreamverse #37
The Conference on Love has two sexy speakers. One says
"my teacher's stalking me" but she clings to him. Love? Hate? Both?
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM--but what are these two exhibiting?
|TEHURA TRIES COMICS: by Wayan; 1994/7/19. pencil, Xerox, erasable crayon.
I dreamed a sphinx artist visited humanity and drew the crazy natives. I copied her sketchbook...
CAUTION: NUDITY, PAGANISM, SLACKERISM, ACTUAL IDEAS
|"TELL HIM I SAW HIS HEAD IN A BOX": by James Quinn; Jan/Feb 2003; peculiar ghost dream
Inside a Renaissance reliquary, I see a dried-up head--but is it St. Sixtus really? Weeks later...
I dream I'm in a cafe joking with my mom's ghost. I say "If you meet a guy called St. Sixtus, tell him..."
CAUTION: READ THE TITLE
|TEMENOS: by Wayan; 1997/6/17, a psychic dream.
I'm at a Robert Bly camp for men only. But I'm no man--not even human--some faun or satyr-like species...
CAUTION: A TEMENOS IS A SACRED PHALLIC IMAGE
|TENNIS UNDER STRANGE CIRCUMSTANCES by Nancy Price; 1948,
(A comic frustration dream hiding a warning)
Our tennis game's spoiled by rubber rackets, fierce grandmas,
Good and Evil (those identical twins) and a bully on stilts...
|TEST: by Wayan; 1994. Dream-inspired digital poster/quiz.
I dreamed I had to take a bewildering test on who is allowed in the military. I flunked. So will you...
CAUTION: MOCKS HOMOPHOBES
|THAR SHE BLOWS!: by Madeline; 2008/3/27, a pirate mermaid shipwreck sex dream.
On the run I meet a lycan, a pirate, and a mermaid. She causes a flood, and something floats by I just have to grab...
CAUTION: IMPLIED SEX
|THAT WIND: by Wayan; 1986/8/29; an undream poem on a daymare
Nightmares can warn. But when awake, what warning can you get from nonstop ill-luck?
|THIS CAN'T BE REM!: by Wayan; 1981/8/18, a predictive stinky dream.
An article claimed smell is rare to absent in dreams. My dreams felt insulted and sent me a stinky one!
But why THAT stink? Well... next morning on my way to work...
|THREE-YEAR PREGNANCY: by Ithmonike of Pellene, ca. 320 BC? Two dreams of an odd god.
I was barren. I asked Asklepios, God of Healing, to make me pregnant. Soon I was--for 3 years, until...
|THOSE BITCHES! OOPS, I MEAN... GREAT GODDESS!: by Wayan; 1988/8/19, a dyslexic dream.
I live in a beehive. We must mate with dogs. I'm assigned a bitch. But I'm allergic to gods! Oops, I mean...
CAUTION: SEXUAL THEME, DOGGESS WORSHIP
|TIME IS A CROC: by Wayan; 80K total, 1993/3/29, a dream on time.
Golfing in the basement with Giselle! But her ball goes through a Stargate
to land on a world where the water hazards are hazards...
|TIME TO QUIT SWINGING: by Wayan; 2015/2/25, a punning, erotic, cledonic dream
In the steampunk world of the Parasol Protectorate, I'm on a swing, fondling four friends
who I'm in love with--all four! I won't give any up. Yet it's time to quit swinging...
CAUTION: SEX ED CLASS, POLYFIDELITY
|TINA FEY TRIES TO FLY: by Wayan; 2017/4/24, a mystical feminist farce of a dream
In a world where speech is in Mayan glyphs, comedian Tina Fey (dressed for prom night)
climbs a Tibetan peak to learn levitation. But the flying monks are scared of women...
CAUTION: COOTIES; ROWDY JESUS; MAY FLUNK THE BECHDEL TEST
|TO KEEP HIM COMPANY: by Robert Southey; 1806/1/23; a Wertheresque suicide dream-comedy
My German friend resolved to commit suicide, so I agreed to poison myself to keep him company...
|TOADFISH TOWERS: by Wayan; 1992/8/6, a psychic little dreamtale.
I'm in Houston, gawking at giant starfishy towers looming through the smog. Their shapes are familiar...
|TOASTING FORK: by Charles Dickens, August 1843, a surreal tragicomic dream.
A gentleman clad but in a sheet notified me that an old friend had died of a terrible disease. What disease? Well...
|TORTILLA EARS: by Wayan; 1994/6/2, a short shamanic dream.
Why's Mexico City built where it is? And why is corn called "ears"? It turns out these questions are linked...
|A TOUR OF YOUR BRAIN: by Wayan's brain, 3.4MB (MP3 + lyrics), May 2004, a rock-jig.
A lobe-by-lobe musical tour of your brain with Buddha as your tourguide...
|TRICERATOPS, or, THE GUY WHO SCRIPTS MY DREAMS: by Wayan, 1982/8/24; a dream on dreams
Stuck in a horror movie, I get to meet the triceratops-headed monster
who scriptwrites all my nightmares. But he's open to suggestions...
|THE TROUBLE WITH TUBAS: dreamed 1997/7/1 by Wayan; song composed in a dream
Improv singing with my friend Mark, this bizarre songlet popped out:
"It's my understanding you shouldn't make love to a tuuubaaaa."
Silly, but when I woke, I realized I sorta had been...
|TROUT BECK by Nancy Price; summer 1933, an aerial comic dream-epic
I'm carried off by a crane to meet birdfish, singing sheep, fell-spirits, mad shopkeepers and devil-bulls...
|TRUMP ON THE RUN: by Wayan; 1990/3/8, an illustrated dreamtale.
The manhunt is on for Donald Trump, rich sociopath. But he too is pursuing something: happiness...
|TWENTY-SIX LETTERS, or, A Complete Summary of Poesy; early Aug. 1992 by Wayan & Cory; a haiku slam|
You get 26 dice with letters on every face. Roll them all. Your haiku must use every letter. Go!
|UN-AMERICAN FANTASIES: by Wayan; 1996/7/19, a dreamtale.
The All-American Family visits the fabulous Un-American Fantasy Store, where Mom is in for a shock...
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY, LANGUAGE
|UNCLE JUPITER: by Wayan; 1998/9/3, a dreamtale.
My uncle is Jupiter. Not the god, the planet. All my relatives are planets. So am I. And I'm invaded...
|UNHAPPY CAMPERS: by Wayan; 1997/9/1, a stupid dream.
I dream we're on a miserable camping trip. So why, when I wake,
do I think it's a diagnosistic dream? It's that triple pun...
|AN UNPRODUCTIVE SQUIRREL: by Wayan; 2013/11/27, an advisory shamanic dreamlet
I meet a giant squirrel. But a Committee condemns the squirrel for such long periods
of unproductive hibernation. The squirrel points out a teensy flaw...
|USEFUL PIGS: by Wayan; 1995/1/2, a comic nightmare.
In my nightmare, TV ads push new, supposedly eco-friendly uses for pigs, until this alarming ad...
|THE VERIZON EXPERIMENT: by Wayan; 2014/3/31, three linked dreamlets, the last self-flagging as predictive
1: A nature spirit's physics experiment proves that time forks. But how much? How dense is the multiverse?
2: I sculpt a model of this multiverse. A physicist likes it; the nature spirit likes it more. So she swipes it...
3: A 'friend' offers refugees my bedroom, crowding me and my work into a corner. I wake. The phone rings...
|VERY FUNNY, MR. MOSLEY: by Wayan; 2009/10/8, a dream poem with sketches; Dreamverse #58
Trapped in a blend of Joan of Arcadia and The Tempest Tales, I'm tired of being the pratfall sidekick...
|THE VIDEOGRAPHER'S APPRENTICE: by Wayan; 165K, 1994/7/29, a predictive/warning dream.
Blondie Wiggle builds a Video Igloo. But I'm allergic--TV kills me! A BAD omen for our video project...
CAUTION: TV KILLS (BUT YOU KNEW THAT)
|WALRUSHMORE: by Wayan; 1982/1/8; a dream pun with political bite
In my sister's house I saw a magazine cover showing that famous
national monument in the Black Hills: Mt Walrushmore...
|WHAT GOD BELIEVES IN: by Wayan; 1984/9/23, a dream of working for a difficult deity
God's my boss, but like a bratty little brother, he's Not Speaking To Me. It's slowing down our office...
CAUTION: CHRISTIANS WON'T WANT TO KNOW
|WHAT MEN HIDE BEHIND: by Wayan; 1992/11/30, an alarming comic dream
The real pursuit of happiness: she pursues me, and I run in shame and hide! But she's persistent...
|WHAT TO DO IN A WIZARD'S LAIR: by Wayan; 2013/4/23, a comic dreamlet
A friend who's a sorceror's apprentice shows me his Dark Master's tower. And
his Dark Master's bed strewn with all his stuffed animals! I just can't resist...
|WHAT YOU IMAGINE HAPPENS: by Wayan; 1982/2/21; a dreampoem on quarks. Or spooks.
I'm stuck on a runaway bus. So we decided to picture the axle falling off, and
it obeys! But the bus zooms on, carried by a horde of little animals...
CAUTION: ESP SKEPTICS WILL LOATHE THE AFTERWORD (true story, though)
|THE WHITE WAVE: by Jenny Badger Sultan, 1988/8/3, a comic nightmare
I'm holding a pornographic novel, trying to keep it dry, as huge waves
flood the room. The book and I are both going to get drenched...
|WHO'LL BE MY LOVE?: by Wayan; 1986/4/14, a dream noir farce; part 4 of UNICORN TAG.
I'm a hardboiled detective wincing as I grill a meek little psychic
(probably me) about squish-softboiled topics like unicorns and love...
CAUTION: SMUTTY UNICORN MAKES EVEN COPS BLUSH
|WHY I BECAME THE SEA: by Wayan; 1980/6/19, a dream of containment.
I get so mad at a bunch of cops who harass gays, that I become the sea itself and chase them...
CAUTION: UNCHARITABLE REPRESENTATION OF OUR SAINTS IN BLUE
|WORKIN' FOR PEANUTS: by Wayan; 1990/12/11, a crude but perceptive dream.
I'm an elephant working in a diner. In the bathroom, I inadvertently summon the Genie of the Urinal...
CAUTION: PISSED PACHYDERM
|THE WORLD NEWS: by Nathaniel Hawthorne; 1843; a dream-job (and career advice?)
I dreamt the world itself hired me, at a generous salary, to report its great affairs exactly as they happen...
|A WORLD TOO WEIRD FOR WORDS: by Wayan, 2011/1/21, a utopian dream--or is it?
I'm in a college class studying a bizarre alternate Earth where
anarchist co-ops never evolved and (of all things) money rules all...
CAUTION: SCORNS CAPITALISM
|WRITE A LITTLE DREAM WITH ME: by Ellen Frank, 2015/10/16, a comic poem on dreamwork
Sharks unicorns and moonbeams / Lost loves and karma chocolate I-beams
Raw telepathic bundles of beans / Write a little dream with me...
|YAKETY YAK: by Wayan; 1984/5/1, a dysfunctional dreamtale.
I'm at a family dinner. Killer Grampa, kid-hating Ma, larcenous Dad. Then a bum offers some advice...
|YELLOW SERENADE: by Wayan; 1979/2/22, an absurd dreamtale.
Restrain yourself! Or you too may end up on a giraffe
rollerskating down the freeway singing perverted popsongs...
|YOU CHIPHEAD! : by Wayan, 1997/1/31, a sarcastic dream.
Chips are faster than brains these days, so everyone's upgrading--everyone but me...
|"YOU'RE SO GAY!": by Wayan; 2013/1/24. A psychic dream of a time-short oracle.
I'm in line to meet a shockingly accurate psychic. But she's running late, so as I frame my question...
CAUTION: I'M NOT GAY BUT I SURE AM QUEER
|YOUR TURN: by Julian Green; 1933/10/18, a surreal but fair-minded dream.
I was nineteen again, riding my horse down a bad road in Virginia. After three hours, my horse spoke up...
|YUPPIE BREAKUP: by Wayan; 1991/5/22, a dream on values--or the lack thereof.
A yuppie idealist discovers her boyfriend's a cheerful opportunist, and they disentangle their lives...
CAUTION: SEX IN REVERSE
|ZYGOTE: by Wayan; 1999, a comic astral vision.|
It's true: after death, angels advise you where to go next.
But what if you get an over-eager travel agent?
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