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Beating Uncle Fester,
or,
Achieving Bilumia

Dreamed 2013/3/31 by Wayan

THAT DAY

Easter dinner with some friends. We got to talking of old TV shows. I recalled a scene from The Addams Family: Uncle Fester stuck a light bulb in his mouth and, squeezing his face with effort, made it glow. I blurt "I always wanted to do that." Huh? I did? News to me that I longed to be an electric eel.

THAT NIGHT

I screw light bulbs in my ears. Don't laugh, it's not easy. They're too big. And they droop even when I thread them in tight. But at last they stay, long as I don't move my head too fast.

Now it's time for the test! I sit gingerly at my piano (a low rectangular acoustic piano cased in blond wood, not the Casio keyboard I use in the waking world) and start to play my songs...

Yes! The bulbs come on. Dimly, and only while I keep the music coming, but... I'm generating light. And two channels at once! I glow in stereo.

Match THAT, Uncle Fester!

Sketch of a dream by Chris Wayan: I stick lightbulbs in my ears and as I play the piano they shine.
NOTE NEXT MORNING

Guess I have to try to record my songs today. Maybe I'll stop butchering every take and generate a miracle. Or two. Because practice makes... power.

NOTE A FEW DAYS LATER

My friend Mark calls. "You know that improv class I'm taking? I was on stage and tried to say "bulemia" and instead found myself saying "bilumia." He pronounced it buy loomia. "Everyone guffawed. Even when they catcalled "you mean 'boooleeemia'?" the correct pronunciation sounded all wrong to me!"

Mark thought this brain-glitch was weird enough to mention even days later. When was it? Apparently it was the night I dreamed of outwatting Uncle Fester's luminosity.

Yep. As he blurted "bilumia", 500 kilometers away, I was achieving... bilumia.

Sketch of a dream by Chris Wayan: I stick lightbulbs in my ears and they shine: I'm achieving bilumia.


LISTS AND LINKS: music and instruments - light and power - perseverance furthers! - miracles - dream humor - more grotesque insertions: Eyebolt, Pixy, Skunk Swallow, Zucchini Girl - the Addams Family - puns - cledonic dreams - telepathy - ESP in general

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