Are dreams really so ephemeral? Lewis Carroll, who built the Alice books from dream-fragments, wasn't so sure...
In a dark void, a bizarre six-armed fur named Shandra is tied up in phone cords. A phone rings, and Shandra coolly says...
CAUTION: TELECOMMUNICATIONS BONDAGE?
My loud, spiky, tailed angel of change and potential, and my calm, skeptical devil of gradualism, a star-nosed mole...
Aristotle keeps marrying my friends and fucking them up. So I challenge Mr. Logic to a shamanic duel...
CAUTION: THE F-WORD. OOPS, TOO LATE! LESBIAN FISH, TOO.
A jaundiced dream of an art show that spelled out just how deeply I reject the rules behind modern art...
When I met someone attractive, my head flamed, burning my body like a wax candle...
Anxious about a big party, I dream of being crowded. But a cat-centaur in the crowd attains enlightenment...
Fresh off the Beagle, Darwin and friends meet three wolf-girls on a train and exhibit a Pavlovian (or Biblical) reflex...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, SPECISM, PUNS
A human pinball game played in the dark, with bells for stoppers, sorting people into a Gaussian bell-curve...
I'm a fairy queen at the beach, chasing a girl who's a strong swimmer. Yep, she swims beyond the buoys...
CAUTION: BAD LESBIAN PUNS
We unearthed a sacred treasure, but now a mob of believers are out to lynch us! I better fly...
CAUTION: SACRILEGE AND BAD PUNS
A sexy pool-playing friend in a short skirt leans over an invisible, virtual-reality pooltable, but I'm blind to...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, TRULY CLUELESS GUY
On the waterfront, I meet a seductive girl. Well, guy. Well, serial killer. Um, I think I'll leave now...
CAUTION: HOMOPHOBIA OR SURVIVAL INSTINCT?
Soul-Poodle is torn between Le Bone Dieu and Dancing Pussy. Who will our horny dogma chase?
CAUTION: MUTT SMUT
I know I'm a murderer; what isn't so clear is what I killed and why...
CAUTION: DISMEMBERMENT, GUILT, DREAD
I was in the Stanford Bookstore and saw this strange visual pun across the room... or did I?
CAUTION: MILD NUDITY
My evil twin, Boris Badenov, wants $8000 or else. I ask my dreams for a solution, and get one...
The moon invites me to go flying, but I get tired of magic and just want to go shopping...
Dreams warning of mania and paralyzing shame alternate with calm dreams of life and growth...
Fighting a theocracy, my dragon-soul burns the church's dragon-nursery. The cost is terrible: a black vortex...
CAUTION: ROMANTIC THREESOME GETS BURNED
Malevolent artwork terrorizes my baby and me! What's to be done?...
My cat keeps going into heat and sneaking out for sex with my godmother's pet crab, and...
CAUTION: SEX, BAD PUNS, CRABBINESS
A bee-doctor in the city of Propolopolis diagnoses me as having a rare syndrome, Ambition Denied...
I touch the secret soul of a cancer survivor, upsetting her. To apologize, I become a goofy hopping god...
CAUTION: FONDLING SACRED FIGURINES
My foxy lover teases and tempts, but I can't let him into the patio for fear he'll hurt the rabbits…
CAUTION: UNFUNNY BUNNY PUNS
Coco Chanel's fashion workers all want me to have (public) sex with Coco's cat, so she'll stop screwing them financially...
CAUTION: SEX KITTENS
A visit to the Conches, a strange race who are only people intermittently, seasonally...
The pecking order (goring order?) of cows explains why our leaders stink...
I just watch as all the dance students practice the jive step. I think I already know that one...
While going through a painful breakup, I kept having sexy, lucid, psychic dreams...
Wayan dreams of surprising Dawn on the toilet while she dreams that flushing away evidence of Foul Play won’t work...
A catalog of American addictions and the absurd distinctions we make between them....
CAUTION: EMBARRASSING DRUG LIST
Around royalty, protocol gets complex. I love the Dog King; despite her title she's female. Does that make her a...
I'm actress Nicole Kidman, clinging to the dome of City Hall like King Kong, ripping it to shreds! Why?
CAUTION: VANDALISM, REVERSE SEXISM, EXHIBITIONISM
Struggling to recall a magical dream, I suddenly get a single, simple image. ...
I'm running along a freeway, pacing a cheetah. But the kittens can't keep up...
Dinner with Dracula goes well, considering, except for the mayonnaise. But suddenly I'm drowning! People don't see or hear me. Am I a ghost, am I dead or alive? And how would anyone notice?
From Baffin Bay to suburbia, dragons are everywhere... if you look with a dragon's eye...
Terse dreamlets quietly catch World War I's effect on civilians far behind the front. Who died in the trenches? Faith...
First I learn strange sex positions from an abused elf and have calligraphic orgasms, then I, uh, turn on my stereo...
CAUTION: SEX, ESP, ANORGASMIA, PAST LIVES, ABUSE ISSUES
In a field in the Central Valley, I face the Terror of California...
CAUTION: FIENDISH LEFTIST PROPAGANDA
Every year, as Americans get fatter, the fashion gets thinner (and I look more normal)...
Pa warns me to protect my paws. Gilt wounds my sole. A lioness eats a drumstick. Then a bus crashes on our corner--for real!
That levitating bear's not tightrope-walking--she rides a goat strung like soap-on-a-rope. A goat that's me! I'm eating...
CAUTION: UGH!
My friends are all computer programs. But then, so am I. But it's not so bad, because...
CAUTION: DREAM-PUNS
I read The Best American Poetry, 2007, but it just isn't, and I find myself writing a Savage Response...
A pod of whales in the sky and a circle of children dressed like seed-pods both beg me to interpret them...
I'm jogging in Yosemite. A man tells me I'm possessed. There IS something in my shoe...
The goddess of the Cult of Clutter catches a little thief, and tastes her to see if she’s worthy...
A baseball star breaks her leg (with a little help from the other team). It delays her career but but speeds her marriage. Did she NEED a....break?
I felt like my heart was in my stomach. My friend Lyx opened me up and confirmed it was. She scolded me for eating it...
CAUTION: URP
I've always loved curves, color, dreams, sex, texture... and planning, too.
So one day I drew 100 black boxes in ink--no color, no curves, no erasure! And then I began to seek...
I'm in medieval England on a mission from God, but I meet a Priestess on a mission from...well, we argue.
Shipwrecked and claimed as salvage on Crete, Ed the writer became a dishwashing slave! In contrast, Marie the musician...
A child from another universe materializes--part way. Too bad we called in that expert from Stanford...
Time-travel the Navaho way! But our bread-pipe gets hijacked, so we call the Bird. Who shows up, all right...
CAUTION: NON-STANDARD SAVIOR, EVIL DREAM PUNS
I grew extra penises which bud off me like fruit. So I fry them up like sausages, and...
CAUTION: GENITALIA FOR LUNCH
I fail to see an "angry" man's hidden agenda, then mistake a waiter's words--yet if they're me too, who's fooling whom?
After a day of troubling conflicts over race and art, I dream I'm handed a hot, heavy, mossy head--is it art, or is it alive?
A revival meeting goes bad--hell gapes, suicides jump, mutton turns out not to be. If you sup with the devil, carry a long fork...
I'm stuck on a jet full of cartoons. We get hijacked by a kid who just wants pilot practice, and then a cactus counterhijacks us...
CAUTION: THE F-WORD
Diplomacy's failed. To stop the impending Iranian War single-handed, I hop like a monster flea across Iran to corner the New Shah...
I'm in a jungle, making love with various well-endowed spirits...
CAUTION: JUNGLE STEREOTYPES, TRULY OVERSIZED ERECTIONS
I’m a brown sparrow scratching in the dirt, looking for bugs. Focused, tireless, I hunt and peck...
"I am a man upon the land; I am a Selkie in the sea..." Silky or selkie means a were-seal...
I must rescue Ann Soforth from righteous rapists, then Paul McCartney from a musical curse...
CAUTION: ABUSED CHILD, JOYCEAN LANGUAGE
When your brain-cops are edgy, you're getting warm!
I tour the heart of a red supergiant, where dreaming souls explore their heart's desires unconstrained by matter...
CAUTION: SWEDENBORGIAN VISON PLUS NUDE UNICORNS AND LEMURS
Three dream-reactions to a (real) psychic experiment that went badly awry...
How did my bondage dream turn into a slot-machine jackpot? And what kind of change is pouring out?...
CAUTION: (CON)SENSUAL BONDAGE
When the school district goes bankrupt, students flee creditors into a hell-cave. But Joe Cool can skateboard on lava in the pit...
My shortcut in a marathon bogs down in a maze full of psychoanalysts! So I climb the walls and...
I dream a Chinese fable: how the poet Li Po was abucted by the gods, till they face heavenly justice...
CAUTION: ABDUCTION, DRUNKS, EVIL PUN
I'm in the kitchen making a mess--kneading pasta dough on the bookcase. If my mom comes in and sees...
I was in an America where witches are burned and used as landfill, and abused women grow on trees. Yet three of us heal...
CAUTION: CREEPY PARALLEL WORLD
Alli/Tip is lured/tricked into a pen full of women, and tries to get out by repeating "Let me pass!"...
Snakebite! I'm hooked to a health-monitor. If a red light comes on, I'm doomed. But voices start whispering...
Lions trap me in an African cave with only coffee, paper and pens! Is this what it takes to get me to write?
Half asleep, I scrawl a nightmare of trying to rescue gasping boyfish, but my dreamwriting goes wrong too...
Creatures in the primal sea touch my third eye, dragons cry their eyes out, I fight the Sphinx, and arrive at last in...
My mom hires a therapist who really goes for my throat! Why is she so desperate to make me lose my...
CAUTION: OVER-THE-TOP CONFRONTATION
The image got lost, but the words survived, so here's the poetic saga of an ant that left th' farm...
I'm inside a magical novel by Patricia McKillip, full of tricksters, cosplayers, spooks, sex changes, levitation and (sigh) riot cops...
CAUTION: COYOTE SEX
Our cowboy posse tracks a fugitive to a strange amethyst mine, where we're offered peculiar jobs...
I'm a mouse with a protest banner saying "FREEDOM!", having a slight argument with a cat...
A dream haiku telling of a dog-pack saved by the intuition of a mutt with a mangled ear...
Giant worms put me on trial for wearing a nameless hat, but it turns out I like their punishment, so I taunt the judge...
Through wild jungles and over the Mattress Mountains, I lead a giant purple newt to love...
Like a lot of playful beasts, I like a friendly nip in the evening...
After seeing an Einstein biography I find myself in the bathrooms of Thought-Experiment High, and...
CAUTION: DARK SIDE OF AN ICON
I go lucid and drive my bed to the Nevada desert where I see my next million years. And so far, it’s been true...
I'm a spy tracking down coinlike bombs. Fighting a double agent, I fall in love! So I suggest her gang rob golden-parachute bankers...
CAUTION: POOLSIDE SEX
My uncle mocks the racehorse he rides! Smears lipstick on this stallion, calls him a wimp... Why?
At the time I didn't even notice the pun...
Book pages, Tarot's four Page cards, being paged, and a girl named Page, add up to warn me I'm not being honest with myself or my friends...
I hang my artshow, but cut my palm. So I dream of a palm tree whose only problem is the road it's by...
My sister and her friend the snake-woman tell me the facts of life: the golden hooks, the piglets...
CAUTION: UNRELIABLE GYNECOLOGY
I forgot how to play my pianobed, so I just thrash around in it. And thus thrash music is born (sorry)...
I'm peeking at Pike's Peak with Gregory Peck, as we seek my dream-journals in the Hawaiian jungles...
CAUTION: STUPID PSYCHIC PUNS
I dreamed I had to go through the Animal Orgy to get to the City of the Shining Spirits on the horizon...
CAUTION: STRANGE SEX
I'm a telepathic rabbit defending our world from space-laser attack. We do, but do we modernize too much?
CAUTION: IDEAS
I'm an abused girl turning tricks to survive. But this is San Francisco: I join a prostitutes' co-op, and meet...
CAUTION: PROSTITUTES WITH SELF-RESPECT, OH NO!
I'm a robot in high school. I have my first dream, but I'm deaf to its message cuz it's not spectacular...
A Japanese high school athlete has no friends, till she starts meeting animal spirits on her long solo runs...
A doctor recommends Ellis try "selvdrolla", but he gets off so much on the strange name he forgets the prescription...
I'm a Japanese pearldiver; our family's cast away on a coral islet. One day, lonely, scared, I cast away fear...
Howe's sewing-machine design didn't work until, one night, warriors stuck him in a soup-pot, jabbing him with needle-sharp spears...
CAUTION: OUCH!
I find a shy sphinx hiding in the corner of a painting in a dull art class. But maybe she's right to hide...
My sisters play with dice. Miriel can influence them telekinetically, but she can't hold them: too young to have thumbs!
I dream I'm an insomniac trapped in a flat full of snoring writers and reporters. Wait a minute...
A dead fern in my backyard starts sending me messages in some strange language...
My family moves into a damp basement. My dad just sneers at the leaks. "I'll show you REAL leaking..."
After my dad lets me down I dream black may be white, and white, black--if you're a Sphinx...
A street poet preaches a gospel of smallness, until he pokes at capitalism in a slightly too personal way...
I'm in a department store trying on clothes when I notice there's a large zucchini growing from my crotch...
CAUTION: SQUASHY PENIS, ICKY RECIPE
First a mutant doe with stilt legs has trouble finding a mate; then a centauroid buck with a parasol shows us he means... business.
Through twin gates of dream--not ivory and horn any more, but fear and trust...
Three castles on the sea, lovely or lame: a Mock Kremlin, a Ship of Toiletpaper, and a Ship of Brick and Beer...
A mad old surfer of the San Andreas Fault, impossibly riding earth-change...
I pull my mom's sweater onto my legs but get tangled (and bits of anatomy dangle). Worse, I'm emulating Jesus...
CAUTION: WARDROBE DYSFUNCTION. IN FACT, GENERAL MASCULINITY DYSFUNCTION.
I slept late and felt a bit stiff, but until my friends pulled it out of my neck I had no idea...
I'm Sybil Sue, a hard-boiled shapeshifting shamus, on the track of the most wanted bankrobbers in LA: the Bad Girls...
CAUTION: IN BETWEEN GUNSHOTS, THE BAD GIRLS SWEAR
Solve a hieroglyphic riddle and you can fly, shapeshift, work magic! But someone doesn't want me solving that riddle...
Having (or living with) a sharp mind is like living with a unicorn. That horn can kill or heal...
Our tennis game's spoiled by rubber rackets, fierce grandmas, Good and Evil (those identical twins) and a bully on stilts...
A stallion reared to strike me. He was all the fear and rage I’d repressed for 35 years. I cowered til a woman said “offer him...
I live in a beehive. We must mate with dogs. I'm assigned a bitch. But I'm allergic to gods! Oops, I mean...
CAUTION: SEXUAL THEME, DOGGESS WORSHIP
A tiger-couple on an ice floe must choose: swim for land, or ride the current full circle round the sea, risking starvation?
Golfing in the basement! But the ball lands in another world, where the water hazards are hazards...
My foot is a torso and my toes sprout conflicting personalities...
CAUTION: STUPID CARTOON NUDITY
They call it the information highway because we're all supposed to march in formation...
Why's Mexico City built where it is? And why is corn called "ears"? It turns out these questions are linked...
I finally find a way to safely indulge in heavy petting (as well as puns) with the cat...
A couple slips in and out of sleep, dreams, one another's bodies and one another's dreamworlds, trying to connect...
CAUTION: FREUDIAN SYMBOLISM, LITERATE WRITING
My mind and my soul both apply for a job in Stanford Cathedral. Their rivalry grows to a shamanic duel...
Since when is a dream of a disastrous camping trip a medical diagnosis? It depends on your pun-tolerance...
Jealous of newlyweds, I grind my teeth to splinters. But the Great Ice did that to Sierra granite, and that turned out fine...
Trapped in a blend of Joan of Arcadia and The Tempest Tales, I'm tired of being the pratfall sidekick...
Robot wolves with videocam eyes prowl our block, freezing me in their headlights. Why do I think one's my ex?
Ever since I was battered I feel like a virgin again: longing, but wary--scared where sex may lead...
CAUTION: CARTOON NUDITY, SEXUAL THEMES
A giant insect chases me around our school gym. A girl reassures me it's harmless but I'm sure it's a wasp...
My friend's ignorant of our Congressional race. I loathe Pombo, but I can't pronounce his rival McNerney's name right...
I didn't even think of "windbag" since it didn't talk a bit. That bag was all action--full of flying magic...
I walked into a 19th century home--and family quarrel. Suddenly decades passed in seconds, and the house burned--with me inside.
Two years later I learned by chance that the house and its history were real...
I'm in line to meet a shockingly accurate psychic. But she's running late, so as I frame my question...
CAUTION: I'M NOT GAY BUT I SURE AM QUEER