I want to date. Better dress like a guy. But when I was little, Mom told a lie. "Girls love boys who dress and act femme." Well, she did. Even nowadays when I'm stressed, I find myself regressed into girliness--seek a comfort-dress!

But my girldar's whirly. I grab a huge knit sweater from my mom's house, but it had to be stolen from Fee Fo Femme. Birdlike Mom never could have worn it. Maybe she lived in it? A sweater hornet! So big she could've sublet just the hem.

Pull the yarnarms o'er pink toes like baggy harempants. Then I tuck each sweatarm in a longstripe sock. My calves Popeye in overlap yet Ow! My knob knees tourni quet. I struggle endlessly to pull these itchy flounderlegs of wool up hip & thigh so I won't wad dle like a babygangsta. But as I suc ceed, out peeks a meekish cock through that birthdilated neck hole. No cop'd call me street le gal.

But see, I met Jesus once and He enthusiastically cried "I LOVE baggy harem pants!

Though they are awkward when you're getting crucified." And unlike Mom, He never lied.

NOTES IN THE MORNING

• Regress: today I reread some science fiction tales I read at age nine, when I took for granted all their echoes of World War II. Now their anguish stands out; all those idealistic science geeks who had hoped technology'd bring the Golden Age... and got Franco, Hitler, Tojo, Mussolini, Stalin, and Mao.
• Clothes from my mom: she did want me to act (if not dress) femme--no uncouth butch assertion or anything. After she died I dreamt I was a girl forced to dress from her closet. This dream is a clear follow-up: the shame she taught has waned, but resurges when I'm under stress--out comes that behavioral d(u)ress.
• Dress like Jesus:

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