Butch and Femme
Oh, what the hell. I'll fess up. I'm in the femme camp. Pretty extreme, too.
Though the slang terms butch and femme put the debate in sexual terms, that's not the whole story. If you're femme, or love a femme you just can't understand, I recommend "The Highly Sensitive Person" by Elaine Aron. It's not another pop-psych book; she makes a strong case we're a distinct biochemical type that American culture penalizes--though most other cultures (for sound reasons!) value sensitivity. Aron's case is as strong as the one against homophobia or fat-prejudice. But then, even those took years to penetrate America's thick skull...
RELATED TOPICS: Gender in general - sexism and other bias - dominance and pecking order - shyness - assertiveness - See also the full INDEX OF SUBJECTS.
What this site is - Add your dreams! - How to read blurbs - Ratings - Copyright - Downloading - The World Dream Bank has 2300 dreams plus 1000 more pages on dreamwork, shamanism, surrealism, fantasy, worldbuilding, creativity and genius. Site © Chris Wayan 2001-2013.
|ANIMATION TODAY: NO PEARLS, LOTSA SWINE: by Wayan; 1986/1/31, a nondream piece on animation
What makes so much animation all feel the same? Temptations inherent in the medium...
|ANSWERING JUNG: by Wayan; 2005/7/5, a dream parodying one of Jung's key dreams
After reading Jung's dreams, I have a counter-Jungian dream. So different from his! And mine has some pointed advice...
CAUTION: NUDE STATUES
|ARTSHOW IN A DREAM: by Wayan; 1983/6/28 & 9/18, a recurrent-dream poem on modern art's blind spots
Jaundiced dreams of an art show spell out just how deeply I reject the rules behind modern art...
|BOY BODY: by Wayan; recurring dream 1959-62, a comic on body image. Small screen, slow loading? illus. text version
A recurring childhood dream on how weird a boy-body is when you've been a girl too many lifetimes.
CAUTION: PUBLIC HUMILIATION, NUDE MONSTERS, SILLY GENITALIA
|BOY TRANCE: by Wayan; 1989, a digital sex change.
Boys still get portrayed as businesslike in sex, girl as floating orgasmic jellyfish. Time for a sex change...
CAUTION: SEX AND LIMP RUBBER ARMS
|BOYS: by Wayan; 1993-99, a gender-equity poem.
When girls get their clits cut, even the UN takes notice. But mutilate boy genitals, and... big yawn!
CAUTION: TALK ABOUT SEX AND VIOLENCE--BUT HEY, IT'S ONLY BOYS
|"CLIT!": by "D'Jeanna"; 2009/9/11, a breakthrough dream after coming out
The day after my mom outed me to my dad, I dream a great storm has passed through and everything's just glowing...
|A DATE IN MINSK: by Wayan; 2009/8/23, a possibly psychic dream of adaptability
A spacetime traveler inadvertently strands his pacifist vegetarian date in a gun-crazy mob-run town...
CAUTION: DEFAMES BYELORUSSIANS
|A DAUGHTER TO DOTE ON: by Thomas Madden; 2017/9/17, a dream on genderbending? Family values? Both?
My dad witnessed a mob killing; now our family must enter witness protection. But why is my new identity female? Well, my parents want...
CAUTION: WILLING OR UNWILLING DRAG?
|DAWN SAYS 'SCULPT MASTURBATION': by Wayan; 1997/8/3; an advisory dream
My sculptor friend Dawn corrected my statue of a girl relaxing to a girl really relaxing... it only took me 13 years to act on the dream!
CAUTION: SKETCHED & SCULPTED MASTURBATION
|DEER AND WOLF MYSTICS: by Wayan; 2015/2/1; an odd peacemaking dream
The wolf and deer people are getting along well--a relief since I like both. But can wolves learn from deer how to open their third eye?
|DEER VERSUS PIGS: by Wayan; 2015/5/20; a practical-joke pair of dreams. Or is it just a joke?
Deer-mares join our theatre class. Adorable! Then pig people. Not so adorable... I wake, sketch them, and hear voices--sexy singing deer on TV! Wow--my dream was predictive! And then I wake AGAIN...
CAUTION: FURRY NUDITY
|THE FLASHBACK: by Wayan; 1985/11/28, a dark dream-farce.
I'm a monster working in a shopping mall in Stockton, California, when I smell smoke...
CAUTION: FILM NOIR SEX
|FOSSIL BARBIE: by Wayan; 1978/9/27; a dream of non-teamwork.
I dreamed our Medieval football coaches all blamed the ugly Potato Person for all evil...
CAUTION: NUDE POTATO
|FOXY ANCESTOR: by Wayan; 1998/7/25, a subtle dream.
A famous inventor is descended from foxes. Their faces teach me something about beauty and character...
|HICKOPHOBIA: by Wayan; 1996/5/13; 2-page dream-comix (or plain text version)
Whenever I run out of ballet class to Japanese without asking my classmate Wendy out, I change sex...
|JACUZZI JAIL: by Wayan; 1979/10/12, a dream of parental poison.
My family has shackled my little sister in a hot tub full of carcinogenic bubble bath...
CAUTION: INCEST ISSUES AND A SLIGHTLY DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY
|KICK HER: by Wayan; 1994/8/9, a gameshow nightmare.
I'm a blonde gameshow bimbo. Each week, I'm beaten up. Ha ha ha! But my bruises are real. At last, I...
CAUTION: GAMESHOW FROM HELL
|LESBOY: by Wayan; 1996/5/20, a dreamtale.
My Aunt Squid advises me to join a lesbian artists' co-op. But I'm a man! Not for long, though...
|LILY OXYGEN: by Wayan; dreamed 1984/1/19, drawn 2000; a strong psychic dream.
I'm Emily Dickinson reborn in 2100 as a breeder of hydroponic lilies, till my dad drafts me as an Arctic energy-prospector, where I meet a ghost, a fiery Beast, a new me, and the girl of my dreams...
CAUTION: QUEER-POSITIVE, NUDE PROSPECTORS, GNOMIC DICKINSON QUOTES
|LOVE DAY: by Wayan; 1989/3/21, a sitcom dream.
On Love Day you can't mock anyone's come-on, of course; but in the bar "Cheers", Carla's mad at Diane...
|LUCID LIVING: by Wayan; 125K, 2007/4/8, a quasi-lucid dream of the future, with 6 illustrations
Honesty induces a joyful state with lucidlike powers. So I bike across the Lake of Time, open the book of my future, and see...
CAUTION: SEXY SKETCHES FROM THE FUTURE
|MAKING PROGRESS STANDING STILL: by Wayan; 1990/10/1; a healing dream cartooned.
I dreamed I slowly climbed out of guilty longing to an exciting climax on the Escalator of Love...
CAUTION: CARTOON SEX, NUDITY, GENDER POLITICS
|MARINE GEOLOGY'S NOT IT: by Wayan; 1984/6/2, a dream farce.
After finding marine geologists in my chocolate pudding, I'd rather be a Frenchman and insult my wife...
|MATILDA, or, HITLER'S GIRLFRIEND MULTIPLIES: by Wayan; 1998/10/1, a dream of math and courage.
I'm Hitler's girlfriend. Not Eva Braun, just me--gentle, weak, thrown in among killers. What can I do?
|MATRONIZED: by Wayan; 1996/5/25, a real-life vignette.
An older woman I know nags me about food. Suddenly my mind flips our genders and weights...
|THE MUMMY: by Wayan; 2003/10/13, a Rarebit Fiend nightmare.
A horror film and Rick Veitch's dream-comix provoke a nightmare warning me that guilt about my dad is wrecking my life...
|MY GATE: by Wayan; 1996/5/29; a bizarre, joyful dream; 4-page comic (or ill. text version)
The full moon rises: I become Weregirl, do the Moondance, and gnaw open the lock on my heart...
|MY WILDCAT WOUND: by Wayan; 1994/7/8, a dream on gender trauma.
I'm a wildcat in a cat/fox team led by a woman who wants us to merge with a man/wolf team...
|NIXON NOSE: by Wayan; 1997/12/10, a short psychic dream.
A dream girl with a giant ski-jump nose turns out to be more literal than she seemed...
|ON BEING NEEDY/NEEDED: by Roswila; February 2002, a dream-poem
In her kitchen she offers me shortcake. She's short herself, for she gives her all to everyone--only a bodiless head is left...
|ON HER FOURTH BODY: by Wayan; 1993/11/25, a psychic dream-comedy.
A sexy gene-sculpted singer (an ex-cow on her 4th body) solves the riddle that's stumping Mr Spock...
|ONCE A HERO: by Wayan; 185K total, 9 images, 1998/10/22, a raw dream-series.
Sexy dreams of Chinese archeology, authorized by the fairies, make me face that my family abused me...
|OTTO SUGGESTION TO A HORSE IN DRAG: by Wayan; 1995/8/8, a dream on body image.
My uncle mocks the racehorse he rides! Smears lipstick on this stallion, calls him a wimp... Why?
|PIER'S END: by Wayan, 1989/2/21, a Raymond Chandler dreamtale.
My detective lover warned me, "Stay away!" Now I'm trapped. Dare I follow the lion over the edge?
|PINBALL SHOWDOWN: by Wayan; 1995/3/18, a flirty game-playing dream.
I suspect the pinball champion of Jupiter is cheating. I try to scare her psychic confederate out of hiding...
|THE PIRATE TWINS: by Wayan; 1996/7/25, a dreamtale on intrigue.
I love the Twins. They love intrigue. So when a hired crocodile sabotages our Egyptian treasure-hunt...
CAUTION: BAD GIRLS
|PRAISE THE DANCING GOONS: by Wayan; 2008/10/16, a dream-poem: Dreamverse 34
Three big tap-dancing kidnappers is too many to fight. So I try admiring their kidnapping technique...
|RIBBING: by Wayan; 1992/12/25, an assertive dreamtale.
After seeing 150 years of family photos, I dream of being teased by time-traveling cheerleaders, and...
|RIDING MY UNICORN: by Wayan; 1993? Digital picture-poem of incubated vision.
I'm single and feeling shy. So I asked my dreams for an image of my true love, and got...
|RING OF WHITE WATER: by Wayan; 1983/1/30, an epic astral dream.
I'm a raft guide on a circular river that may just be reincarnation. One of my tour group jumps ship: she's scared of the white water of rocky relationships ahead...
CAUTION: METAPHYSICS, SEX, WEAK SOULS...
|ROAD Detail: MY GRANDMOTHER AND MOTHER WHEN YOUNG: by Wayan; 500 x 330.
They were both beauties and look rather feline to me--I'm drawn to feline beauties still, and wonder...
CAUTION: INCEST ISSUES
|ROSE AND THE THORN: by Wayan; 1986/7/1, a dream on those too meek to ask.
We're swallowed by Swamp Sofas and enslaved to The Man Who Prays on Us. Time to grow some thorns!
|THE RUNNING: by Wayan; 1997/9/27, a dream on sensitivity and the reverse.
I couldn't make it to Spain to see the Running of the Bulls, so I found an American equivalent...
|SAFETY GETS ME HOT: by Wayan; 1997/3/27, a dream on sensitivity.
I'm trapped in a post-apocalypse pulp story! Fun for my readers, but not for me! How to escape?
|SHEEPISH: by Wayan; 1985/9/24, a stupid psychic dream.
Floundering through the snows of 1917, I fall in love with a sheep named Linda Evans, who teaches ballet...
|SISTERS OF THE INTERFACE: by Wayan; 1983/12/21, a shamanic dreamtale.
My sister's beautiful; I'm plain. When she's murdered, I ride into the Interface Desert, where worlds meet...
|SNOW STALLION: by Wayan; 1994/6/4, a tangled political/spiritual dream.
I'm a peace terrorist trapped in Squaw Valley, herded like a mare by a huge stallion made of snow...
And then the dream shifts and I blurt out the truth behind our idiotic waking world! And wake believing it...
CAUTION: MERMAID AND HORSE NUDITY
|STARVATION?: by Wayan; 1995/8/28, a journal extract on body image.
On a poster of a model who's around my weight, someone's scrawled STARVATION IMAGERY...
CAUTION: DEFENSE OF SKINNY PEOPLE
|STICKY FINGERS: by Wayan; 1997/4/18, a dream on self-judgment
A woman masturbates constantly at work, then greets businessmen with her hot sticky handshake...
|SWEATERPANTS FOR CHRIST!: by Wayan; 2011/6/30, a comic sartorial nightmare poem
I pull my mom's sweater onto my legs but get tangled (and bits of anatomy dangle). Worse, I'm emulating Jesus...
CAUTION: WARDROBE MALFUNCTION. MASCULINITY MALFUNCTION.
|SYBIL SUE FLANNERY: by Wayan, 1986/10/29, a dream noir.
I'm Sybil Sue, a hard-boiled shapeshifting shamus, on the track of the most wanted bankrobbers in LA: the Bad Girls...
CAUTION: IN BETWEEN GUNSHOTS, THE BAD GIRLS SWEAR
|THE TALE OF A MISFIT COCK: by Wayan; 1999/1/25, a media-fable dream.
I'm in Japan, where Rumiko Takahashi tells me of a tragic chicken who longs to be a lounge singer...
|TAROT: THE ANOREXIC DANCER: by Wayan; 30K. Tarot card, 3x5", summer 1978.
The card of excessive self-denial, whether compulsive or artistic or spiritual...
|TAROT: THE CENTAUR (Ace of Pentacles): by Wayan; 360 x 528. Tarot card, 3x5", summer 1978.
Mind and body integrated. S/he can hold up even the world-serpent that the gods couldn't lift...
CAUTION: ANDROGYNOUS CENTAUR BREASTS
|TAROT: THE COP (Knight of Swords): by Wayan; 25K. Tarot card, 3x5", summer 1978.
The card of force not always used wrongly. The Knight says, "Sometimes ya gotta bust a few heads..."
|THINGS WASH OFF: by Wayan; 2009/4/22, a dream fingering the cause of a breakup; Dreamverse #49
Those Hollywood lovers in the tub seem perfect together, until... oh, read the title!
CAUTION: RACE- AND GENDER-BENDING
|UTOPIA: by Wayan; 37 p, 3.9 MB, 2007/5/9, a painted essay on... wishes?
An improvised painting-series exploring my obsession for Utopia--and your deafening silence...
CAUTION: IDEAS, FURRY NUDITY, THAT GOSH-DARN MODERN ABSTRACT ART
|A VALLEY NEAR HOPE: by Wayan; 1984/10/17-19, an epic dream.
I'm lost in a valley where unicorns love cyborgs but fear giant ants, who adore unicorns but hate cyborgs, who think ants are cute, but dread unicorns! And while the Three Tribes love and hate, cave-monsters sculpt them all. I set up peace talks between these four vertices of my tetrahedral soul, but what if I get what I want? Peace, love... transformation? What if those aren't cute and New Age?
CAUTION: SWEARING, DRUNK LIONS, CYBORG SURGERY, AND GOGGLE-BARFING
|WARIA: by Wayan; 640 x 450, 1989, digital image based on a 1987/3/23 dream.
My life was a sex disaster. I made myself ugly and sick. But then one night I dreamed I found a healer...
|WATERCATS: by Wayan; 170K, 1987/9/10; a psychic dream of another life.
I'm a biologist who finds an 'extinct' species in a slum. But the survivors speak: they tell me I'm one of them, just hypnotized to think I'm human... And when I wake, another kind of cultural hypnosis is exposed:
|THE WELL OF WOMEN'S WISDOM: by Wayan; 1991/3/25, a dream on gradualism.
I find the well of women's wisdom. Lucky I had a sex change! A girl sneers "this wisdom's narrow." Is it?
|WENDY NEGLECTED: by Wayan; 1996/7/22, a paradoxical dream.
Ari neglects Wendy till she doubts she's sexy. I show her she is. But am I using her too?
CAUTION: SEX TALK
|WHO'LL BE MY LOVE?: by Wayan; 1986/4/14, a dream noir farce; part 4 of UNICORN TAG.
I'm a hardboiled detective wincing as I grill a meek little psychic (who might just be me) about embarrassing subjects like unicorns, and love...
CAUTION: A UNICORN WHO MAKES EVEN THE COPS BLUSH
|WILLPOWER (HAPPINESS): by Wayan; 1991/1/17, a didactic dream.
At age 90, the first female high-rise steelworker tells me why she did it--and why she regrets it...
|WITWEET WAYAN: by Wayan, 1979/1/10, a dream of butch and femme.
Six generations in the future, I find a poodle who can defuse the bomb my rival girlfriends can't...
CAUTION: MAD SCIENTIST, EXHIBITIONIST GIRLFRIEND, POODLE HUMILIATION
|WOLFWALL: by Wayan; 106K, Jan. 1994. Digital image of daydream/trance
Drew all night in a trance and only learned at dawn what this flirting otter and wolf were trying to tell me...
CAUTION: NUDITY AND SEXUAL THEME
|WOMBERS: by Wayan; 1997/8/23, a journal entry on peace-at-any-price personalities
Nancy Friday describes a certain kind of guy disturbingly like me, and I realize chronic illness has made me...
|A WOMEN'S WORLD: by Wayan; 1996/8/6, a psychic dream.
I visit Earth during an all-female era. I'm a woman, can pass for local--so why do I lie to fit in?
CAUTION: SEXIST SLUR
|YUPPIE BREAKUP: by Wayan; 1991/5/22, a dream on values--or the lack thereof.
A yuppie idealist discovers her boyfriend's a cheerful opportunist, and they disentangle their lives...
CAUTION: SEX IN REVERSE
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