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Fossil Barbie
or
My Prosthetic Foot

dreamed 1978/9/27, digital painting 1992, by Chris Wayan

I used to do Psychodrama. Fascinating people, but I always felt peripheral there, though I wasn't sure why. Then one night, I had this dream:

The Middle Ages were football-mad. I was trying out for a medieval football team. I noticed an odd thing: all our coaches constantly blamed the ugly Potato Person for everything wrong in their world, from murder to mud. Not the Devil, the Potato! Strange. And unfair: the Potato's spiritual goal in life was to grow the first sprouts of the Renaissance, not to be pretty... or to play ball.

I wasn't so pretty either: I was missing one foot. But instead of a peg leg, I had an anti-gravity skateboard! So amputation had its good side: I could zoom around faster than any of the two-footed players!

But they wanted a team player, not some skittery one-leg airy-fairy. They wanted tough guys, guys who were grounded--never mind that I could get around better than THEY could!

It took forever, but I finally got tired of their putdowns. So I left.

I woke up. Having woken up, courtesy of the dream, I left Psychodrama too.
A mountain-tall ugly green woman, sprouting eyes all over, leaping a river, where a giant, buxom, fossil Barbie lies half-sunk. I'm tiny, in green skirt and football jersey, standing in the palm of Barbie. Words say 'Be a potato woman, ugly and sprouting all over. LEAP across Fossil Barbie
It makes an ugly picture, but that's the point for me--my renaissance WAS ugly. Crippled-looking, shapeless, with all those messy sprouts. It was, by the way, just as hard to paint ugly as pretty. I got bored trying to draw tiny football players so I substituted Fossil Barbie who was more fun to draw and means the same thing to me--conformity. (Butch or femme, it's the same team sport).

They blamed the shapeless, sprouting Potato. Those sprouting spots are called eyes. I think the dream hinted that my true crime at Psychodrama was that I saw those cliques too clearly and they didn't like it.

One more potato thing... guess what fueled the Renaissance across northern Europe? Way more food per acre than grains. A superfood. What did they blame in my dream? Just as I was a superplayer they all put down. I was right to skate away.

Instead of a prosthetic foot I have a prosthetic SKATEBOARD.


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