I fall in love, defying kidnappers, dwarf-tossers and
Toulouse-Lautrec, until I become a time-traveling bunny...
CAUTION: SEX, SHAMANISM, DWARF-TOSSING (LAUTREC!)
I go to a lucid-dreaming party, meet the Child who Dreams the World, and find the Body under the Bed...
An artificial intelligence acquires fans and has orgies with her groupies. Her creators
don't care as long as the advertisers get product placement. But she has this size fetish...
CAUTION: VIBRATORS
The jeweled fish over San Francisco grew and grew
until it landed and the crew told me the secret code...
At the airport, a new automatic photo booth shoots your memories!
Julie can't resist... and emerges, excited, to find that...
A late-night conversation with the proud developer
of a new concept in South Asian convenience dining...
The "Amazement Park", as I dubbed it, was a building long as a football field and three floors high; you fly,
suspended, round an oval track, through a galaxy of images teaching that "sharing" is what matters...
After reading Jung's dreams, I have an anti-Jungian dream of sexy nightmare-statues
waiting to come alive, like the tree I draw & bring to life with my literally magic marker...
CAUTION: NUDE STATUES
Why has no one noticed that the side effects of a household appliance violate all known physics?
Allied submarines attack the giant Nazi toddler who's hunting us with sonar, occupying my playroom...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE AND GUILT
Alien robots kidnap me... and make me the mascot for a college football team.
But my Channel Changer slowly infuses us all with nerdy trust...
I'm a battered girl who sings in a mall. The Dictator (of all people) helps me start healing and learn to fly...
CAUTION: BATTERING AND ITS CONSEQUENT DAMAGE
I screw the lightbulbs in my ears again, and this time, they stay. I sit down at the piano, and as I play...
A human pinball game played in the dark, with bells for stoppers, sorting people into a Gaussian bell-curve...
The Evil Librarians drop a 19th Century book-character on my head--a blue-skinned paranoid!
He tries to kill me with a trident missing one prong... a Bident? Oh, no! He's Joe B...
CAUTION: DIM VIEW OF TWO 2020 CANDIDATES
DAY: I bike across San Francisco writing down what I actually see.
DREAM: I'm an abused English heiress with a dangerous alien artifact...
CAUTION: HAUNTED BY CHILD ABUSE
I try to fly in my birdsuit before I have feathers! Can I? Starring the cast of Three's Company...
CAUTION: LAME SEXUAL INNUENDO TYPICAL OF THREE'S COMPANY
A sexy pool-playing friend in a short skirt leans over an
invisible, virtual-reality pooltable, but I'm blind to...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, TRULY CLUELESS GUY
Throw a dream-crystal, or dangle it by a thread, and it'll point the way to go...
CAUTION: NUDITY
I'm a wizard chasing crooked politicians in a big city. They have a car, I hop a trolley--
only on the astral plane it's a giant blue millipede, and...
CAUTION: RECKLESS DRIVING, THEFT OF PUBLIC MILLIPEDE
We all wear magic beltbuckles. Twist one--your body stretches from squat to willowy. Except mine...
CAUTION: SEX, BODY-IMAGE DISTORTION
I meet William F. Buckley and his beloved pet pig. Only
the hog's a live H-Bomb, and the leash is a trigger...
CAUTION: REVOLTING GUY, PET, AND ISSUE
I'm Bugs Bunny. I torment Daffy Duck till I learn that in many time-branches the New
Deal happened late... or never. I decide to prod a reluctant Franklin Delano Roosevelt...
CAUTION: FIRESIDE PETTING, DUCK TORTURE, BAD POLITICS
Princess Chinchilla and I use an umbrella to escape the Wizard. Now to escape the Dream Researchers!...
I take Cassandra's prophecies seriously, but she can't make sense of my future.
So we go see an otter with a crystal ball. But he's installed a new security system...
I'm a doctor in the future, trying to heal the neurolink between a girl and her cat...
I visit a Tibetan monastery with great cellphone reception from the gods.
But all their calls are messages to pass on to others--none for us...
I meet a tragic heroine--great heart, rotten luck. But I open her magic sword and find a bad chip...
Indiana: Father's favorite clock, a cuckoo clock, stopped at exactly the time he died...
Florida: an old clock silent for years started up at 10:20, the time of my husband's death the day before...
A spiral dream-instrument I'm building, that's easier to play than a piano or guitar, and a lot snakier...
I'm a hippie girl in San Francisco, in hard times. To escape the Four Horsemen, I lie down with Death...
CAUTION: GANGS, CREEPY SEX
One of the Time Vaults has opened. That means a historical crisis is at hand. Guess who gets to go in...
I'm in an airport full of aliens who, when bored, crystallize until things get fun again.
My long planeflight glows like a dragon-hoard! But it's lonely...
I live in a cupola atop a Victorian house in the Haight-Ashbury, but that's not the City out my windows...
The new smart beds stimulate your dreams--but how to program them? We can't even manage VCRs...
Night. Rider and mount gallop in a ring, leaving a luminous spiral wake of glowing
flowers. Power builds, but when the spiral gate opens, where will it lead?
Hundreds of dusty drawers, clearly not not touched in years. I open one
to find cymbals. Some part of me knows it's a dream and sees the pun...
In a darkened room of deaf women watching a slideshow,
I find no one can hear me in either English or Sign...
Chapter 1 of a nine-story series: UNICORN TAG.
A sentient factory shows me a gene-tweaked future where the Deer Party agitates for
liberty, equality and fertility. In that future I learn I too may not be human...
General De Gaulle gives me a ride in his armchair with the plexiglass
roof. Alarming--since he drives backward at full speed...
I built a sex-maze to reprogram businesspeople, but I only grasp its meaning when I fuck City Hall...
CAUTION: SEX, LANGUAGE, RADICAL POLITICS
I stumble into the middle of a dream conversation--on ghosts, tiaras and pigs--
and struggle to figure out what what on earth we were already talking about...
I'm turned into a small dinosaur and treated as a guard dog. But I meet a dino girl. We have fun,
once we see it's a movie--they won't kill off the love interests. Hollywood rules make us invulnerable...
A serial killer stalks our office, but our bosses deny it and do nothing.
I kill him. He revives--over and over! A robot I have to disassemble...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE
A dragon's daughter seeking her inheritance defies a sneaky dragon-realtor out to own the world...
I'm just old enough to recall forests of fishbones and dragonflies on every roof...
In Old Palmyra, I stumble on a dragon-hoard. Wizards and caliphs hunt me--how to get out
of town? Magic carpet? No. I put on a brown coat, borrow a delivery bike, and slowly pedal...
I'm dancing on stage, in behavioral space. But right in the middle of the stage, erupt these... teeth?
After a hard day getting a "free" bed, I dream my milker comes to drain my dreams.
Wait...did I agree to this? Or does milking drain objections, too?
CAUTION: CREEPY
An experimental helmet knocks me out. I'm groggy, miserable, till I learn what it did to others...
Our archivist had had a stroke. When an engine failed, my boss said
"Find its records if it takes two weeks!" Five minutes later...
I learn weird sex positions from an abused elf, have calligraphic orgasms, and then I, uh, turn on my stereo...
CAUTION: SEX, ESP, ANORGASMIA, PAST LIVES, ABUSE ISSUES
After trespassing in a staff-only part of Faerie, I'm cast out.
Only I'm cast like a seed, meant to grow a new elf circle...
A spiral pillow-path leads to an astral portal. But creatures arriving and
departing jam the same path. Squeeze by, hop over, apologize... flirt!
Is this a dream-image of death & letting go? Then why's it look so fun?
I'm trapped in a TV documentary on nuclear war! Better dive through a TV screen and find a safe sitcom...
I'm falling into darkness. I feel like screaming, but I remind myself I'm dreaming. "What is for me here?"
I demand. "SHOW ME!" I begin rising toward the stars. Huge metal discs with alien writing rise with me...
I'm in a theater waiting for a woman onstage to fart human speech;
but I have to skate away on a tipped-over traffic cone...
On the anniversary of 9/11, I dreamed a friend was welding nude. In his careful hands, the fire was harmless...
I live in a huge half-hotel. The only way into the other half is through a fireplace.
It's forbidden. But one woman steps through the fire--do I dare follow?...
In Kathmandu, I'm given a flying carpet--but it skims along
only a few feet up, and ambles slower than I can walk...
In Surinam, a whole river falls 600 meters into the sea. I put on a birdsuit and fly into rainbows...
When I'm stressed, I build a set of luna-moth wings and fly invisibly. Though once a blind man caught me by ear...
Flying unicorns hang out with me and my friends, sending us
dreams full of useful advice--and more concrete gifts...
My dreams urge me to build furry dream creatures with joints,
muscles & bones, then to heal myself by mating with them...
CAUTION: FETISHISM, FURRY NUDITY & SEX
My car's idling too fast. After hours of diagnosis, I notice a foot's on the gas! But not my foot...
I dreamed our medieval football coaches blamed the ugly Potato Person for all evil...
CAUTION: NUDE POTATO
I dream my Doors of Perception have four layered screens to keep out mosquitoes, when one is plenty...
The first thing any beginner does with a paint program is behead someone. Why?
CAUTION: PAINFUL SPLINTERS
I saw the pale student of unhallowed arts kneeling beside the thing
he had put together; I saw the hideous phantasm of a man stretched out...
Freud and I argue dream-theory while we're stuck in an elevator that projects dream-examples on the walls...
A woman discovers that her new use for a truck with a telescoping arm has philosophical consequences...
I'm Liza Doolittle on Mars. With Mr. Wells's Time Machine. Lost, in fact. Can I get home? Should I?
I face a barrage of deadly challenges out of every action film I've seen and every game I've ever played...
Parking structures with spiral ramps are, secretly, screws harvesting motion from parking cars, slowly drilling
into near-impenetrable rock. Thus are skyscraper-foundations made...
I meet the new improved giraffe people with hydraulic chrome skeletons--
such light, powerful jaws and stretchable necks. Wow, Lamarckianism is back!
CAUTION: ANTICREATIONISM--THAT IS, ACTUAL SCIENCE
Four thugs stalk a gawky girl through the Everglades. She treads on a black stone and...
becomes a blue heron! Her stalkers vanish--did they become birds too? Should I step up?
Hypnotherapy is hopeless with these blind architects flopping all over the cafe, but my flying has improved...
God built 3 dials to check: body, soul, and time. But the Holy Spirit's lazy, only checks one! It's up to us...
I'm a fat guy hired as a temp by some unethical gods. Or are they trying to teach me something?
I'm an orphan shapeshifter enslaved by a gold-eating monster. But I meet a cat-girl with a hammer...
CAUTION: BAD FOSTER-DAD; CAPITALIST MONSTER; VIOLENCE (TO VENDING MACHINES)
A reporter interviews the guardian angel of my dead sister Jill in front of a
green screen. He's dissolving in grief--luminous holes show through...
I live through two teens' nightmares, then "wake" with them to find they were drugged by a third party! Why?
Then I'm with a cheery wagon-crew of flirting griffins & talking horses, pulling a cart made of grammar or logic.
Six days later... detailed images from both dreams appear on TV!
CAUTION: CREEPY, THEN SAPPY, THEN FREAKY
You know angels feud over regional underfunding of Divine Grace. But you don't know how low they'll go...
They led me to the guillotine. As the blade struck my neck,
I woke to find my headboard had broken loose and fallen on my...
After seeing the cast of Glee interviewed, I dream I'm a paranoid cripple in music school who goes from...
I say it's 4:30 PM; the waiter says 4:30 AM! I wake in the night to find
my watch says 4:30, but it's stopped! I wind it, and next morning...
Night. Broken metal sculptures, a welder too horny to weld safely, and a steel panther longing to be whole and loved...
CAUTION: KINKY SCULPTUROPHILIA
A lecturer tries to help the homeless founder of Hamm's Beer, robbed by bankers. But the talk may harm more than help...
We build a huge hard disk that's a virtual pond--a gate to other worlds! But not for reptile brains...
Day: my dad's paralyzed, and my car's stolen.
Dream: a harpy made of steel, like a living Calder statue, holds three girls hostage...
A mail-order warehouse in Kansas sends ghost-infected software out, causing mayhem.
But less than when Kansas exported the killer flu 100 years ago...
CAUTION: DISSES KANSAS & CAPITALISM, FOR GOOD HISTORICAL REASONS
I toured the factory where they make the spare heads you put on and
take off to change your mind. Nothing creepy about it, nothing at all...
I bear a Ring of Power meant to corrupt me. I cleansed it, at a cost, but can't wield it till I've read its spell...
Two teens crack a bank with a homemade rocket--but forgot a crowbar! Caught, but
the bank can't press charges; the kids have proof the bank uses slave labor...
CAUTION: DISSES CAPITALISM
Who built the tornado in the Heartland, that sucks anyone who opens their spirit-wings down to Hell?
CAUTION: BAD THEOLOGY, WORSE PHYSICS
A musical prodigy has a gorgeous, unplayable keyboard.
But serious creativity takes a dull, regular, ergonomic instrument...
A woman says she's being stalked, but it's her own poltergeist! Her therapist makes her reach for it...
I paddle through the grim streets of Karachi on my belly, on a skateboard,
with my flipper-hands, until at last I reach the border to a Higher Realm...
It was Hitler. He had a pig face, and he was taking notes. He said
'I want to understand the uses and implications of this amazing technology'...
I'm a hobbit woman in Los Angeles, hiding a magic weapon
from Sauron. No, not THAT weapon. The wishing-bucket...
The gameshow has two old men humping sextoys on the floor as the audience
watched. That wasn't the gross bit. It was when they released the hogs...
CAUTION: OBSCENE GAMESHOW. EVEN MORE THAN USUAL.
The Goddess's harp, that calls in the seasons, just passed on. But the new harper has a shocking admission...
An alien-heron-dino-woman left us her cape--or is it a cast-off skin? I put it on, for I was told I need
the hood to ward off some evil. My human head won't fit the narrow hood. But the owner's manual
says I don't need a shield, I'm immune! So skip the hood; wear the cape as a minidress...
I'm badly disoriented because I'm seeing through walls! My sixth sense is from a high-tech helmet
shaped like a horseshoe magnet. Four days later I see Brainstorm, a movie about a high-tech helmet
shaped like a horseshoe magnet, recording and playing back mental experience. Talk about disorienting...
DREAM: my car has a fuel leak. Luckily, I carry around a crystal hot-water knob--
for beauty, not car repair. But I screw it in & stop the leak, fixing my 'drive'...
NEXT EVENING: turn on the TV news, and there's my hot water knob...
A poster playing with superimposed messsages. How strangely the mind sorts out different layers!
Playing Mario Kart, I stray into a darkness where Earth floats, burning.
And then Jesus speaks up! But I carelessly hit the OFF button...
The villagers warned me not to walk in the alien graveyard; for at night, the Id flowers wake...
My family runs a bar. I walk through, after hours. Who are all these silent figures?
CAUTION: UNHEALTHY READING FOR SINGLES
I'm a lab animal who discovers voice software and creates a personal zine, testifying for our rights...
I was a sheltered girl till I entered my family's secret ancestral vault. I didn't expect to meet...
I'm trapped in a mad scientist's car that squeezes through wall-cracks. But when
she aims at a wall with NO cracks, I have to pull out the smuggled alien device
in my pocket. Just before impact I switch on the Inertial Damper...
I feel a drag, and take off my safety belt. I find I've been towing an invisible buggy with two men in it...
Bearded professors call through an iron-barred window shaped like
a woman's torso, hoping to lure a nude model to fill it so they can grope...
CAUTION: CREEPY
I'm so sick of irony I decide to get my sense of irony surgically removed and replace it with...
CAUTION: PLAYING WITH FIRE
An Arabian prince kidnaps my girlfriend and me. We eventually escape his flying palace, but she gets trapped in
Victorian underwear, while I escape feuding politicians by turning myself into a truck tire. NOT a smart move...
CAUTION: BOGUS VICTORIAN SEX-EUPHEMISMS
How did my bondage dream turn into a slot-machine jackpot? And what kind of change is pouring out?...
CAUTION: (CON)SENSUAL BONDAGE
I'm slipping dimes into a boulder of jade: a vending machine that fills every order wrong. Why feed it? Well...
Not long after Jake died, I dreamed he took me on a magic carpet ride. Since then, I've been flying...
My Japanese friend Kotaro looks at me sternly and shoves his phone inside my chest. In my dreams, a phone
can mean ESP, so when I wake I check the news. A huge quake and tsunami have devastated Japan...
DAY: I find old photos showing my dad ogled my sister, the Lee girls, and teens he met at the beach.
DREAM: Juana Lee wants to fire a rocket launcher--indoors. The house'll burn! But she won't relent...
CAUTION: INCESTUOUS & PEDOPHILIC DAD-VIBES
I half-wake as a kettle abruptly starts whistling. Odd, it's quite unlike ours. Wake. Silence. A dream!
Dawn. That abrupt whistle again! But this time, real. Somehow, a housemate got our kettle to sound...
CAUTION: APPARENT E.S.P.
One wizardry-classmate summons strange beings; another's learned how not to.
Because some things need to be dealt with alone, where they can't harm......
Huge gold construction cranes loom over medieval castles. Not rebuilding, but
hoisting knights to the heights. I get a ride up, and see a wide timescape...
Researchers show me weird little objects like shoelaces that drive people mad with fear...
Tiny people ride a herd of levitating ladders--badly.
One seems to have gotten bucked loose...
We ride on a flying saucer made of stone. Atop the great cliffs, we meet a giant and
warn him not to slip. He doesn't appreciate advice from little alien tourist twerps...
I'm on Mars. The terraforming is going well. Then saboteurs set off a laserbomb in the street near me...
CAUTION: TERRORISM
I'm watching MTV. Laurie Anderson gets inside my remote control. I try to change channels
and she turns my head into an apple. I grope for a potato peeler, and carve a new mouth...
A spiral dream-instrument I'm building, that's easier to play than a piano or guitar, and a lot snakier...
Alien abductions upset us--being studied, treated like animals. But isn't that how we treat other species--
study, exploit, ignore their feelings? That night, I dream one dog on a leash paralyzes a civilization...
Snakebite! I'm hooked to a health-monitor. If a red light comes on, I'm doomed. But voices start whispering...
George sees a cart-crash pinning a friend. He yells to bystanders to free the wheel, but they can't hear him...
Parkinson dreamed his new telephone device got added to an anti-aircraft gun. He told his dream;
guns with M9 units turned out to be so accurate it gave the British hope against the Luftwaffe...
I befriend author Andre Norton--an ageless high-school kid writing enthused fan fiction, forever...
I find my Niche--the stone nook that decides if I'm a journeyman mage! Here comes my prophecy...
Dream: tourists in our town use brainware to navigate & translate, but it's infected. Turns you fascist. Whaaaat?...
Next day: the FBI knocks! Our web provider fingered us as a nest of internet criminals. Thanks, Comcast!
Talk about malware...
I don't want to kill my friend, though his clothes say I must. But
a sculptor lets us sit on her metal trees and drink tea instead...
Jaguar Mask: a were-jaguar stuck in human form asks me to sew a new jaguar face on."But won't it hurt?...
Martian Airlock: I'm suitless on Mars. Freezing, choking, I dive into an airlock & slam the switch--but it's sabotaged...
They were swimming in the glowing, molten pool of the Melting Pot, and beckoned me to join them...
CAUTION: SUICIDE SOUP?
I meet a shapeshifting mentor who warns of coming war (9/11?). Then a sentient book, "The Art of War," gets intimately involved...
CAUTION: ELECTRODES, LIBROPHILIA
A mermaid friend invites me to see an underwater experiment in the Golden Gate...
CAUTION: MERMAID BREASTS
I find a 3D program that shows your true self, the self that can love, IS love. And my wireframe is...
My dad's new wife is a collie. Naturally, she wants a prosthetic arm. But she has no site to bind it to...
CAUTION: FURRY NUDITY, LEERING BUSINESSMAN, DOG WIFE
Dinner with the Lightbulb Heads. When we leave, the Mood Elevators welcome us...
but won't let us out! And in the struggle to escape, heads will roll--and shatter...
CAUTION: HARSH WORDS ON WESTERN MEDICINE
The Agile Beasts build traps to catch Moth Monsters, but Moths may build traps for Beasts...
I wake & wonder--could the theater group where I feel subtly unwelcome be the trap?
Nazis call my simple architectural drawing a social protest, take it at gunpoint,
and toss it in the ovens. The commander mocks me with its ashes...
My best friend and I qualify for new bodies. The new me is taller, but poor Ken may take years adjusting to his new...
My mom and I road-duel an alien beetle, then investigate a deepspace Marie Celeste;
then I spy for the Angevin Empire to protect the Crown Jewels...
A poem linking the dawn of digital art to early, tinny phonographs, cranky film cameras...
CAUTION: IDEAS
My own fear creates a field of time/speed distortion; can I use it against my attackers?
While rehearsing our circus act I mentally saw Nina's ladder breaking loose.
Next day, a supporting ring snapped. Being forewarned, I pulled hard...
I want to catch a crescent moon home--our transit system's been buying up
old moons and running them across town--but tourists reserved all the seats...
I fall in love with my sculpture of a mythical Southeast Asian creature. Then a mad yogi breaks in...
CAUTION: SEX, TANTRA, AND GENERAL WEIRDNESS
I'm a stratospheric bat who finds a flying swastika. Is it creeping fascism?
Or a Hindu blessing? Neither! It's an Octopian frisbee. I return it...
I'm a spy tracking down coinlike bombs. Fighting a double agent, I fall in love!
So I suggest her gang rob golden-parachute bankers...
I hung the dream-net over my bed. It worked. A blue-winged man with a leg of silver came to me,
drummed, danced, offered to teach me secrets. Awake, I found a blue feather caught in that net...
I'm car-buying. My friend has an Opel, but it's sluggish AND a gas hog. How can a car be both? Then...
I notice a jar of opals that my grandpa gave me has grown dull with algae! Sheesh, more opals gone bad...
I wake and head to work. But at a bottleneck, I'm blocked by this loud group talking on and on about...
I held the strangest and most entrancing object I have ever seen: the very citadel of life itself!...
I show an Ohio friend the latest California sport. But
we haven't quite worked out how to land just yet...
I want to join the inner circle of America's political elite.
But to do that I have to survive the Ordeal by Infrastructure...
I'm in a movie version of prehistoric Baja California, mining nuggets that howl,
when pterodactyl-worshiping pirates glide in trying to snatch our ore...
God issued me a paper bag to go over my head & protect my eyes
when facing him--at first. But as I advanced spiritually, I tore...
Martial-arts student Parvati just won't fight the teacher she loves (too much!)--
not even for her final exam. Instead she gets a rotary saw and...
A vagabond king showed me the way into Faerie, and it made my fortune. But now it's time to pass the gift on...
Frederick dreams a monk writes words on the door of Wittenburg’s church
with a pen so big it pokes the Pope. The next day...
DREAM: a weird music player that you feed "tapes" made of Z-folded, perforated paper... backward.
NEXT DAY: my boss tries to fix a balky printer by feeding it Z-folded, perforated paper... backward.
I work the info desk in a futuristic library. But one question leads me into a DNA-helix, a tornado of doubt...
I forgot how to play my pianobed, so I just thrash around in it. And thus thrash music is born (sorry)...
A timetraveler shows me a hotspring shrunk to a quarter of its old flow.
Valves? Pipes? Or drought, from climate change? This IS the future.
A day later, a local main breaks, and our water flow shrinks to a quarter of normal...
One tribe builds earth-magic pits that can teleport you or grant wishes.
But the other tribe's more powerful flow-state magic is harder to define...
CAUTION: SEX FANTASY GRANTED
Looks like this underground nuclear test will leak. Minutes from detonation,
we flee up the spiral stair and out across the sand. Can we run far enough in time?
I find myself clinging to a pole as tall as the Empire State Building. Can I slide down
without falling? Or burning from friction? And... what's down there?
The child who runs with wild horses finds the secret spy-room of dreams! But no one's watching...
Four women with guns attack me at a public pool. Trapped in the water, can I survive? Only by being ruthless...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE
Captain Kirk (Starfleet, retired) saves us all from terrorists at a powerplant, but he forgot something...
In a museum full of spacetime-bubbles holding lost souls, the museum-goers are as weird as the exhibits...
I'm shown a crystal egg with a model of my mind in it. The mapping is unmistakable. How embarrassing!:
I'm a Confederate officer. The only way to save my men is to end the war by
pulling the plug at the bottom of the lake! I dive in, fighting a Yankee, who...
I was on a steamer run amok, in a boiling yellow incredible sea out of which great pylons rose...
I'm working alone in the lab at night, when the lab gear wakes up and tries to kill me...
I'm a telepathic rabbit defending our world from space-laser attack. We do, but do we modernize too much?
CAUTION: IDEAS
My friend Chris gets tied up at the office--that's his job, looking martyred! But when the boss is away...
CAUTION: NUDITY
Radar O'Reilly's teddy bear is stolen. He builds spy-planes to find it. One morning the camp wakes to find...
I dreamed I was riding a huge toy train, and a gigantic rattlesnake was at the controls...
Calmly, I watch a girl trapped in a lab try to escape, and die; and watch a man lose his head to a hungry thing...
CAUTION: GRUESOME
Famine. Our Tibetan monastery's prayers are answered. A caravan of yaks comes over the pass, bearing...
Widely held notions manifest easier. I could forge Sauron's Ring, and it'd really work! But do I want to?...
Our teams search through fountains and pavilions, finding & trading the glowing stones.
None of the magic makes me go lucid, but as we sail toward the finish line...
Blake was broke. Couldn't pay to typeset Songs of Innocence and Experience.
But in a dream, his brother advised him...
The posse lost their enemy; reluctantly they asked a tracking detective--me.
They found him where I knew he'd be--from eating my Rolodex cards...
I'm autistic; a TV host encourages me and another autistic kid to have sex on the air...
CAUTION: UNDERAGE SEX ON NATIONAL TV; SERIOUS FINGER-POINTING
Night. Two moons. I go lucid! Find a knob adjusting the dream's color saturation.
Dial it up--and meet ghosts of pure color, invisible til I luridified...
Camping in strange mountains (Australia?), I can't sleep. So I nightwalk, and find I'm changing...
I take my friend Neil Gaiman to a park where we sculpt a giant horned head. Months later
we collaborate on a graphic novel. The course of the project's full of echoes from the dream...
A friend nags me to be lookout as he steals a cult's papers. I know it'll end in murder, but foresight paralyzes me!
In a videogame that keeps freezing unplayably, I find a button calling up a secret screen of second chances...
I'm lost in a grim basement, but two kids show me a cobwebbed glass door you can walk through like air...
A crazy security guard with a squirt gun full of acid kills
freely over and over, for the court system keeps paroling...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE
I give plastic sandwich bags to people in Tibet. They go wild for them.
Shortage! An air shipment from Delhi breaks open; Tibetans with butterfly nets...
A writer invents an absurd setting for his Utopia, a lens of ice floating atop
Saturn's atmosphere--but then such sessile lenses turn out to be real.
The dream's details suggest buying a certain stock. I do, and...
His sewing-machine design failed--until dream-cannibals caught him & jabbed him with weird needles...
CAUTION: OUCH!
My friend Mr D. studied psychic research but was skeptical of telekinesis. But 24 hours after his own death...
Shevek invents time-travel and discreetly alters the past. But the future alters
Shevek's present, to undo his changes! Who's sabotaging him? Or... WHAT?
A Goddess-worshiping general gets a visit from her twin daughters who bring a puzzling message...
I took my cellphone into the shower. I couldn't find the shampoo, and idly typed SHAMPOO in, and...
CAUTION: NOW YOU KNOW WHO STOLE YOUR ODD SOCKS
My girlfriend, a lifesize doll in the shape of a feline centaur, gradually
comes alive, walking around on her own and flirting with me...
CAUTION: NUDE CAT-TAUR
I cross San Francisco on public transit--a network of children's slides. One leads into...
A wormhole full of aliens, where a goofy-haired reporter interviews a hacker...
After Shaw's Arms and the Man eclipsed my own play The Land of Heart's Desire, I dreamt I was haunted by...
A demigoddess and a wizard meddle with humans. But do even THEY know what they're assembling?
I discover a Sorting Hat, as in Harry Potter--and it moves in with us. Our cat crawls in and plays peekaboo.
She becomes a teenager eager to get drunk at Thanksgiving--like every adult in her life. But she's not
puking drunk like them, so she must be OK! Just as I think I am--I only overwork to exhaustion.
CAUTION: DRUNK TEEN CAT, SEVERELY ALCOHOLIC ADULTS
Africa. My horse trusted me as we faced lions and fire, but to face the Soul-Board, he must trust himself...
A dead fern in my backyard starts sending me messages in some strange language...
Leona's a fighter--she rejects compromisers like her husband,
her friends, that miniature catgirl she's been sitting on...
Our physics project is top secret, but a stranger strolls into a meeting and opens a can of green light...
I want to drink the elixir, but negative 20 spoons block me! Can I remove them? With warped teacup logic & reciprocals…
Squirrel Girl and I try to find a private room, but Hal the mad computer in 2001
spies on us and our spaceship captain orders us to clean the ion tubes...
CAUTION: SQUIRREL NUDITY
John Lee, sentenced to hang, dreamt he walked to the scaffold but the trapdoor stubbornly stuck.
He woke, told his jailors the dream, walked to the scaffold, and...
I dreamed the Stealth Bomber wasn't a machine, but a gigantic Owl-god. And Stealth was worshiped...
CAUTION: CREEPING PACIFISM
As the steamroller flattened me I became quite a lovely stained-glass window...
DREAM: a weird footbridge of twisting tree-branches; with steps made of wood-cased stereo equipment!
NEXT EVE: a birthday potluck with a twisting papier-maché trees. Steps lead up to a treehouse full of...
Repeated attempts to move a gigantic, sacred, saucerlike stone all failed; but now,
with the world's biggest cranes, we get it on a truck. It crawls past adoring crowds...
Two child prodigies fail to stop the killers stalking President Obama, but a geek with a homemade laser...
Earth scientists ignore the natives' tales of abyssal monsters, but the locals easily track a Terran sub...
I'm a teenage girl diving for treasure. In an eerie coral grotto reeking of sulfur,
I spot a diver in trouble... and wake to find the grotto is real..
A mom in the Black Forest photographed her young son and took the film to a lab in Strassburg. War broke out; she never got back.
Two years later in Frankfurt, she photographed her young daughter. The film came back with both her kids--superimposed.
The film with her son's latent, invisible image had wandered across wartorn Germany to be sold mistakenly as fresh--to her.
CAUTION: TWISTS "COINCIDENCE" INTO A PRETZEL
I'm a married couple--the cook and laundress for an English observatory in 1948.
Why are we testifying to a Labor Party committee that we WANT to be servants? Well...
Through twin gates of dream--not ivory and horn any more, but fear and trust...
Three castles on the sea: a Mock Kremlin, a Ship of Toiletpaper, and a Ship of Brick and Beer...
A mad old surfer of the San Andreas Fault, impossibly riding earth-change...
I hijack a Lacewing Chopper to install a new rubber-band engine, but the motor becomes a talkative penis, and...
CAUTION: ONE WEIRD WEENIE
To avoid being stabbed, I flee the Psychodrama Circus. Wisely--the place explodes!
But it's the filling of the sushi roll that really upsets me...
CAUTION: CANNIBAL MAKI
I dream my watch is way off and I'll be late. When I wake, I check
my daughter's watch. They agree. Can't BOTH be wrong... can they?
Solve a pictographic riddle and you can fly, shapeshift, work magic!
But someone doesn't want us solving dream-riddles...
A black separatist commune hides two little girls who are psychokinetic.
They fear I'll expose them. But I've spent my whole life passing too...
CAUTION: PARAPSYCHOLOGY, RACIAL SEPARATISTS
My cold-sensitive dinosaur friend makes a find at our archeological dig by thinking like the Old Ones...
(A comic frustration dream hiding a warning)
Our tennis game's spoiled by rubber rackets, fierce grandmas,
Good and Evil (those identical twins) and a bully on stilts...
I dreamed the Earth Goddess invited me to live with her. She was lonely to be seen for who she was...
I dream of strange wide brown houses on the tracks... A knock wakes me--our train's moving out.
As we pass through San Mateo, I see them on the rails, ready to roll--the first prefabricated homes...
I'm in Theremin's lab, around 1930, trying to play one of his experimental instruments. Why won't it work?
My dog and I are abducted by aliens who turn us into cats. We escape & go feral to survive.
How we got back, and what happened along the way, even my own shrink refuses to believe...
CAUTION: LEWD SQUID AND KLEPTOMANIAC BUGS
A workmate said "They feed they lion"; two dreams later, the poem emerged as you see it...
CAUTION: POLITICAL RAGE, SURREALISM
1: Three sisters flash me; one has a third eye in there! Clothed, it's blind. Was she just enlightening herself?
2: In the future, most cars self-drive. I'm the last driver using my own muscles and mind. Can I hold out?
3: A friend charts all of history's wars to prove: democracies don't fight each other. So to get peace...
CAUTION: NAKED EYE
I watch Disney animate the Legend of the Thousand Birds, who pull
a wireframe sleigh of light right through a dark, material Santa...
A 'toon liberation dream. I cartooned a new self and slowly she grew realer, until she ran Disney...
CAUTION: FRANK SINATRA SWEARS
I dream I play 7 and win three times at Monte Carlo. I wake and head for the casino with witnesses...
THROATS: Men put babies into giant throats inset in a funhouse wall;
SLOT MACHINE: I see a slot machine generating random art-speak phrases...
A woman in Tibet disassembles herself! A local god hires her spirit,
but she uses the office equipment to backup her memories and...
CAUTION: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME
In a city crawling across a marshy world, I find a detonating bomb frozen in a time-ball.
Why not detonate it somewhere harmless, why carry this around?
I'm a cat person, grooming. But not MY fur--it's a woolly mass of timelines!
We cats travel time, smoothing out snarls... Then I wake, go to a party, and...
A toy's delivered, unasked. A jumping jack. It tries to eat me! I defeat it but then peer in the box to be sure...
I dreamed my husband's ship headed for India, but a 'tin fish'
sank it with just one casualty--him. I rushed down to the dock...
14 years before the Titanic sailed, Robertson wrote of a great liner, the Titan,
with 3000 people aboard, that strikes an iceberg and sinks in the North Atlantic...
Clarence the sappy angel from It's A Wonderful Life and Milton's Lucifer land on Earth, offering treaties.
Who to sign with? Clarence thinks we're fine as is, but the Devil's a tinkerer, learning from failures. Failures
like me and my girlfriend Titania, the first android with a full palette of feelings. Like the feeling she's fake...
Psychics give me an incomprehensible reading. A book from the tree-library gives only Victorian dating advice.
At last a madman gives me a treasure-box holding a tooth that unfolds into slices carved in unreadable symbols...
Silicon Valley goes enthusiastically fascist. I hide in a berry patch. They build a shining world, and then...
A "friend" gives me her TV. No wonder! Turns out it's haunted
by a small-minded devil who cheats on all his deals...
1: I failed to save a magic tree. It fell and killed someone. I'm racked with guilt...
2: A giant pinball game on a tilted oval relief-map. But you can only win as a team of six friends...
3: A Caribbean girl with a weird aura tries to align two magic crystals to heal herself...
CAUTION: BREASTS, MY LITTLE PONY AS ROLEMODEL
Half awake, Nabokov interprets shadows as guillotines and believes he and his wife will be executed...
Two photographic developing tanks disappear. I assumed theft
until I dreamt they were in a room I'd never seen, in locker FJA 39...
I dreamed my mouth was full of typewriter keys and a typewriter ribbon issued from the back of my head. Joan
was hanging out the window by the ribbon. I reached for her, but my hands kept hitting the space bar, and down...
Exploring a sunken sub, my buddies salvage a something ticking. Toss it back, but it won't stay sunk...
As a boy I dreamt of a war; officers marked the landing-spot of an unexploded black sphere. Years later...
A friend buys a frozen used Pope, to navigate her starship with Papal infallibility. Call me a Luddite, but..
CAUTION: SACRILEGIOUS PUN
DAY: I'm an experimental subject given a drug in hopes it'll induce ESP. I just babble stupidly. Humiliation!
DREAM: my vacuum cleaner comes alive to attack my terrier & me. I flee, but there's an explosion...
TWO DAYS LATER: at the movies, a cartoon: a vacuum cleaner comes alive to attack a terrier. Then, BOOM...
CAUTION: WILL REALLY BOTHER E.S.P. SKEPTICS
In our cult, we lie in vats of goo till we grow wings. But we're feared more than we knew...
CAUTION: SPECIST LYNCH MOB, NUDE IN SCHOOL, LESBIAN FEELINGS, OBSCENE CARROT
Robot wolves with videocamera eyes prowl our block, freezing me
in their headlight glare. Why do I think one's my ex-girlfriend?
Blondie Wiggle builds a Video Igloo. But I'm allergic--TV kills me! A BAD omen for our video project...
CAUTION: TV KILLS (BUT YOU KNEW THAT)
We lose control of our new time machine, which seems to have its own agenda...
CAUTION: CONTEMPLATION OF SUICIDE, CHRONOLOGICALLY IMPAIRED DREAMER
Half-mad with fear, I massacre a cult, till my gun manifests stigmata: a gory miracle.
Then I'm a cultist, resisting the Voice of God pushing all us mortals to murder in His name.
I woke up haunted, and wondered for weeks what this was about... until the Waco Massacre.
CAUTION: CREEPY VIOLENCE, CREEPY GOD, CREEPY PREDICTION
The messiah of a suicide cult prepares to ritually sacrifice me. Then a miracle occurs! But... whose?
My sister just bought a biocomputer: an enslaved human brain in a box of weeping skin...
I'm on a world inhabited by hobbits when H.G. Wells shows up, looking for a Ring of Power...
I'm stuck on a runaway bus. So we decide to picture the axle falling off, and
it obeys! But the bus zooms on, carried by a horde of little animals...
CAUTION: ESP SKEPTICS WILL LOATHE THE AFTERWORD (true story, though)
Lost in an industrial maze, my memories hopelessly outdated, I resign myself to the Wheel...
Attacked on the ground, in the air, even in space, I fight back effectively.
Not lucid, yet in my dreams I now have real power...
I didn't even think of "windbag" since it didn't talk a bit.
That bag was all action--full of flying magic...
When my friends and I learn to fly, all of Middle Earth turns against us!
Fleeing from Saruman's army, I discover the backstage truth about our world...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE, DOOM, PHYSICS! YODA IN THE TUB!
DAY: I work way too much--art projects plus helping a friend get her lost data back...
DREAM: A gun nut threatens me, so I claim I bent his gun. Really I just bent spacetime.
He flees atop his toy car, letting it steer--it's smarter than he is. That car winks at me...
I was bodiless but trapped. All I could see were these moving wires. Whenever a knot drifted by...
CAUTION: MADNESS, TORMENT, TELEPATHY, SEXUAL REBELLION
A witch in the future invents a new way to terraform small dense moons--and it'd work!...
Truce at last! We can party again. But witch-hunters burst in and try to arrest me for being a wizard. They
use a box of strong-arm force; I use my wand. But their weapon's rechargeable battery overheats, while I...
CAUTION: CRITIQUES SELF-STYLED RATIONALISTS
A mystic postman delivers a letter on the world's best glasses and a reply from me, telling how to find them...
Great towers rise into a fog zone--or is it another world with other rules? And how to draw both levels?
Our dilemma is, now that we have the power to get what we want... what exactly was it we wanted?
I dream of three colonies in the deep future. We outlived the universe itself, but can we survive each other?
CAUTION: WAR, GENOCIDE, POLITICAL ALLEGORY
Chips are faster than brains these days, so everyone's upgrading--everyone but me...
I careen from a sacrificial marriage-altar to the Oracle Harper's secret pool,
into the jaws of Leviathan and the joys of lucid flight, shifting from male to female
and gay to straight--till I meet the Dragonfly People themselves...
CAUTION: STUPID, STUPID SEX CULT!