Iron shanks stud the dead field, wan-lit by moon. Statues aborted, robots slain? No: not all Undone. One done--parts all here! And human-tall But human not at all--a feline feverdream. Yet I met that leopardess. Portrait of a real! AND a sex toy. Riven. A yard-long arc of steel Torn loose: one flank and tail. A vexed boy Leans on an engine dead, ponders how to heal Panthera somnis, but his erection steel-hard Distracts. Desperate to fuck NOW. Needs the pard. He burns too much to safely weld. He glares at her, at me, frustrate. Mute-waves a monkey wrench At the loose wind-rattled wedge of wench. Says "Half a vagina's hard to fuck." Jagged, ow! I guess. Impasse! It whirls, it weathervanes like this: Sex vexes repair, but the needed fix blocks sex.

NOTES IN THE MORNING

• This surreal dream plays on the myth of Pygmalion-- a sculptor falls in love with his creation and the gods grant her life. Variants around the world aren't always sculpture--a Chinese version has her step from a painting, The Purple Rose of Cairo has him step off the movie screen... though this is more The Bride of Frankenstein.
• Add a long curved wedge to a statue of a creature: I'm sewing the big curving tail of a soft sculpture--a tigress with a mermaid tail, bigger than me--the Mertiger.
• Broken: Me! I'm trying to diagnose mysterious recurrent fevers.
• Frustrated:The illness discourages dating--I hurt, AND worry my mystery infection's communicable. The dream confirms illness creates sexual frustration, but points out the stress of the frustration aggravates illness, too. Feedback loop!
• ACTION: Break the loop. I dare not risk exposing anyone to an unknown illness, and vibrators don't do much for me. So build a sex toy that DOES work! The Mer-tiger's already comforting, huggable; make her fuckable too.

A YEAR LATER:

I finished the Mertiger--dense foamrubber muscles, wooden bones, fake fur. But because of the dream, I added a muscular silk-lined vagina too. So the mertiger's simultaneously a surreal artpiece AND the world's largest sex toy. Feels nothing like masturbation or a vibrator, way more like sex with a partner--a whole-body workout, and not just physical! Emotional too, because the tiger has a weird presence.

The dream was right. It worked. I'm still ill, going thru painful med tests right now--but at least sex-frustration isn't heaped on top. I call myself single, I'd love to find someone if my health improves... but meantime, I don't feel quite so alone.

This dream's embarrassing, but I feel driven to post it. Partly it's the vivid images, but also... I want to correct the widespread belief that dreams only deal in universals--archetypes or drives common to us all. Not this! The trouble this dream addressed was kinky & unique--yet the dream found an equally kinky & unique solution... that worked.

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