I'm acting in a psychodrama scene, designed to be both entertaining theater for the audience but also to heal the actors. But the theater's an alien starship, run by Heinlein's Puppet Masters: nasty parasitic slugs that can tap into your spine and run you like a waldo--a robot hand.

A robed woman enters, acting like a giant baby. The psychodrama director pushes me to admit I want this woman. Her body's attractive, but I mostly feel bored, a bit indifferent, even impatient with both the director and his Big Baby.

Another actress hands me jewelry--her scene is next, she can't safely wear it--might get crushed. Delicate red coral bracelets and a silver and black medallion with a cameo of a man's head. And... BLUE CRYSTALS! Octahedral sapphires with powers. You think of an action or question and toss a crystal--and it lands pointing the direction you should go!

In the drama of her scene, I lose her jewelry. Damn! My friend David wants to start his scene but the director waits as I search for it. Following a hunch, I ignore the STAFF ONLY sign and climb up on the music-console to open a forbidden drawer. I find sealed gray bags of velvet. Like silverware bags. I find one that jingles but it's sewn shut. Finally I use force, tear it open...

Not the same jewelry--but more Crystals! I spot some scattered on the rug, too, now. Once you've touched them you're sensitized, I guess...

They've opened my eyes in other ways too. I want out of this parasite-infested ship!

I let the Crystals guide me out.

I don't use them well... often reject their first answer, tell myself "I didn't think clearly enough." But I stumble through the maze of corridors and make it out at last....

Pause on the journey by a railroad crossing. My cousin Barbara is with me. We find crystal shards on the ground. One must have been crushed by a train! I spot another one on the track, and snatch it off just before a train roars up. Good! Now we have three or four undamaged crystals. Glad: they're a great treasure.

NOTES ON WAKING UP

• Psychodrama = literal. I have been going regularly to a psychodrama group.
• Parasites = while a lot of the regulars in the psychodrama group are becoming good friends, I'm not crazy about the leadership--a manipulative clique.
• Heinlein's Puppet Masters = the original brain-parasite science fiction novel. Scared me to death as a kid.
• The big baby = I saw the sex film "Emmanuelle" today. I was struck by how she let EVERYONE push her around, rather than follow her own desires and intuitions. Big baby!
• Bag of blue crystals = intuitions, dreams!
• Crystals are in psychodrama control booth, a staff-only area = I must take back control! Either I'm letting the psychodrama crowd push me around, or I'm letting the parts of ME hungry for drama run my life.
• My cousin Barbara = brains, persistence, good judgment. While I just wasted three years (and my health and energy) trying to please an abusive girlfriend, Barbara was getting her degree.
• Crushed by train = childhood "training" to be agreeable, like Emmanuelle and me, crushes intuition and dreams!

The silver cameo of a man's face: this black and silver disk reappeared years later as the combination lock to a moral kiosk I had to escape, in a life-changing dream.

I was slow to take the dream's advice, but over the next couple of years I did slowly disentangle myself from that psychodrama troupe...

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