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JADE JACKPOT,
or,
A HEAP O' CHANGE

Dreamed 1990/1/7 by Chris Wayan

A huge standing stone. Green and waxy--it's jade! But it has a coin slot. The world's only all-jade vending machine!

I put a dime in, though the vending-slot is too small for food or soft drinks. Stamps? Who cares what it's supposed to give you? I'm not doing it for that. See, I know a secret about this vending machine--no matter WHAT you expect, you NEVER get it.

Why put in change then? Because... now and then, a flood of gold coins pour out--a jackpot so big I'd never have to work again.

But each time I try, my dime just comes back.

Then the service man walks up. I tell him "I've sunk a heap of change into this jade stone, and I'm mad as hell. Give me $10!" If he doesn't, I plan to take it from him, fight if I must!

I'll shake him down for data, too--about the jade machine... and other matters.

Because he KNOWS things, this fix-it man... In fact, some say He knows EVERY thing.

A jade boulder with a vending machine slot. Gold coins pour out. In the sky are characters parodying a verse of Lao-zi: 'A Tao you can pull... is it the eternal Tao?

THE ANSWERS

This dream is not what it seems. If you've read Chinese classics like "Monkey" or "A Dream Of Red Chambers", that jade stone already has you suspicious...

Ah, well. God or no god... how we love to gamble! Slot machine addicts. Oh, well, another dime in... another life begun.



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