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DIADEM RATIO

For Jo Clayton

Dreamed 1994/8/14 by Chris Wayan

Pig in a tiara. Words read either 'Pigs per diem' or 'Pigs per diadem.' Dream sketch by Wayan.


I'm in the corner market, talking to my grocer. He's a moustached man in a Miss America tiara. This doesn't seem odd, since I'm wearing a diadem too.

I seem to have missed the first scene of my own dream.

My grocer was saying "...sure, you used to raise them, but not since you moved to San Francisco and started playing artist, right?" What are we talking about?

"Wrong!" I say. "I've raised two in my apartment here."

He asks "Wow! Your neighbors didn't complain about them in your back yard?"

"No, no, I didn't have a yard. You can do it indoors--you just have to be careful to balance the number of people and pigs to create a closed ecosystem."

"Wow... well, I'll try it. What was your ratio?"

"One pig per diadem."

I wonder if that's always true, though. Doesn't it depend on how many ghosts are in each diadem? An older tiara with more personalities stored in it might produce more garbage... more people, more interests, more projects... more trash! No, a tiara wearer may have multiple personalities, but still only one body. And with advice from more ghosts, diadem owners might be more efficient, produce LESS trash. Who knows? One pig per diadem has worked for me.

If he wants to wear a tiara, have multiple personalities, and raise pigs, he'll find his own pig ratio.

NOTES IN THE MORNING

PIGO



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