Dreamed 1987/3/22 by Chris Wayan
My life was a sex disaster. I was a nervous anorexic noodle boy.
But then one night I dreamed I was a nervous anorexic noodle girl. For years, in the dream, I'd looked for years for a healer who really HELPED. At last I found one--a guide through the jungles of food, body image, sex and love.
The woman I found didn't just preach. She LOVED her body. And it responded. She looked gorgeous and her skin looked like she was still sixteen. Maybe she was. I didn't ask. I didn't care. I had a role model at last! That's all that mattered.
Happily, I told my parents "I found a healer who works!"
They ask "Is she ugly enough? Is she old enough?"
I was puzzled and asked she had to be old and ugly.
"Young girls are stupid and dependent." said my father.
"Beautiful girls are shallow and vain." said my mother.
"Oh." I said.
And woke up.
Or at least started to wake up.
A WAKING NOTE
My parents are leftists and they fought the media-spell--the idea women are stupid, are only sex objects--and are useless if they're ugly or old. But for me and my sisters, our parents' counterspell has become a curse: beautiphobia. It needs a counterspell in turn, and this dream was it.
This isn't a literal portrait of the healer in my dreams, but a group shot of the sexy rolemodels, guides and helpers I met in dreams around this time, led by a satyr-girl named Waria. It's meant to remind me that sexy isn't stupid--or shallow. That beauty's not a crime.
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