World Dream Bank topic: Jerry, my dad

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Jerry Wayan

For dreams about fatherhood in general, see dream dads.

This is a page about my dad "Jerry"--both the strange, ambivalent role he played in my dreams in life, and the dreams (and guilt) I felt around his equally strange death.

For a year before he died I had nightmares of paralysis and death associated my dad, but didn't know why. Then one day he simply woke up from a nap paralyzed. A rare virus. He lived for months in a hospital, conscious but helpless. I barely visited him there, and when I did I just cried uncontrollably. But turning into a useless fountain wasn't the only reason I avoided the place: I have severe allergies & chemical sensitivities and for me that hospital felt like a deathtrap. It sure was for my dad. They held out the hope he could recover; but he died of secondary infections caught from his caretakers.

His life was paradoxical too. An egalitarian leftist wary of the rich and powerful, my dad still trusted experts--like the doctors who killed him. He had a deep, sometimes dangerously uncritical faith--but in science, not God. A Stanford PhD, yet he worked as a simple English teacher, for he constantly protested school policies he found unjust, and never got promoted. He loved literature and was a fine writer, yet left no literary legacy but screamingly funny questions on his exams. He advocated feminism yet belittled my sister Miriel. He had psychic dreams, but interpreted them away in Freudian terms. All his kids inherited his strong ESP and vivid shamanic dreams, yet he dismissed parapsychology as superstition and fraud. Yet he encouraged my art and writing, including this website--whose basic premises about dreams he rejected!

--Chris Wayan-

RELATED TOPICS: dream dads - dream moms - dreams about Marcy, my real mom - parenting - families - See also the full INDEX OF SUBJECTS.

What this site is - Add your dreams! - How to read blurbs - Ratings - Copyright - Downloading - The World Dream Bank has 4000 dreams plus 1000 pages on dreamwork, shamanism, surrealism, fantasy, worldbuilding, creativity and genius. Site © Chris Wayan 2001-2022.

	AIDA'S TOILET BOAT: by Wayan; 1993/4/7, a short- AND long-term predictive dream. A sexy comedian and her troubles down the drain. A dream that turned out to be true six days later, and again in a different way six YEARS later...
	ALP VARK: by Wayan; 1983/11/24-25, an epic comic psychic dream. I'm kissed by the Holy Aardvark, but my bond with my dad is strained by ESP he can't accept...
	ALTHEA'S CHICKEN: by Wayan; 1990/3/27, a nightmare-farce. My sister Althea decides my house has demons, and hires an exorcist who botches things, so that...
	ARIEL and THE UNICORN COMMITMENT: by Wayan; 1983/12/26-27, an epic psychic dream & sequel DREAM: to stop an idiotic bout of war-fever, I have to take on the power of the Goddess herself... NEXT DAY: I stumble on a fantasy book, Ariel, full of details straight out of the dream... THAT NIGHT: I sign the Unicorn Commitment, but personalize the magical contract... CAUTION: DISSES REAGAN & SOUTHERN MASCULINITY
	THE BAR PET: by Wayan; 1994/12/4, a disorienting dreamlet. I meet a sex-kitten in the Underground Cartoonists' Bar, but her body language makes no sense to me... CAUTION: UNDERAGE FLIRTATION... OR IS IT?
	BEAST BIRTHS: by Wayan; 1989/9/19, a predictive dream of family secrets. My family has a hidden gene for incest--and griffins. When I bring the family skeleton from the closet... CAUTION: RAPE, INCEST
	CAT AND CRAB: by Wayan; 1981/3/12, a dream about teasing? My cat keeps going into heat and sneaking out for sex with my godmother's pet crab, and... CAUTION: SEX, BAD PUNS, CRABBINESS
	COUNTERSUE GOD: by Wayan; 1995/8/5, a sacrilegious dream. God flames me for putting pagan stuff on the Net, and we end up suing each other. Then the riots begin... CAUTION: HITMEN AND HERESY
	CUBIST CHARLIE BROWN: by Wayan; 1977/4/1, a cubist nightmare. We're Cubist cartoon characters, trapped in a strip gone mad. But my dad stays calm! Too calm... CAUTION: SEAS OF BLOOD... OR IS IT RED INK?
	DAD ON THE BOARD: by Wayan; 1981/2/12, a dream of business as usual. How my dad got onto the board of directors and made the organization his own...
	DAD SMASHES COPCAR: by Wayan, 1977/5/26, a warning dream physically enforced the next day My dad drives recklessly, hits a copcar hard, smashing our front end. I wake knowing it says "Kay's a batterer. Leave her or I'LL be smashed." That day... CAUTION: NIGHTMARE, BATTERING ISSUES
	DAD'S DATES: by Wayan; 2008/8/17, a dream poem, Dreamverse #8. After my mom's death, my dad starts dating again, while I hide out and wince. Can't I do anything positive?
	DEAD, NOT STUPID: by Wayan; 2000/1/20, a (possibly predictive) ghost dream My little sisters tell the detectives, "Daddy's ghost has a message for you" but at first they don't listen...
	DON'T WANT HIM TO SOAR: by Wayan; 1991/4/18, a dream of sabotage. In a parallel world, a visionary's building the first plane only now. I'm his assistant. But I don't WANT...
	THE GIVE-AWAY: by Wayan; 1982/6/7, a career nightmare. My parents pray for my success, and arrange a great learning opportunity for me. Really.
	GIVE TRAVIS ONE MORE CHANCE: by Wayan; 1980/10/13, a desperate dream. I'm detective Travis McGee's lover. But we always die by the book's end! My solution is drastic... CAUTION: HARD-BOILED HANDGUNS
	HORTA'S EGGS: by Wayan; 1984/1/17, a dream of re-evaluation. I fight to save a nest of 50,000 eggs that'll hatch... psychics! But my friends want to exterminate them! Who's wrong here?
	I FIGHT FOR BEAUTY: by Wayan; 1990/1/1, an incubated dream within a dream within a dream. From Hawaii to Wyoming, I fight for beauty, always waking to find I'm someone new...
	IT DOESN'T ADD UP: by Wayan; 1995/6/26, an arithmetical dream. Dream math often seems bad, but I think the discrepancies are a signal, not noise...
	JACUZZI JAIL: by Wayan; 1979/10/12, a dream of parental poison. My family has shackled my little sister in the dungeon in the hot tub full of carcinogenic bubble bath... CAUTION: INCEST FEELINGS, TOXIC PARENTING
	JUANA'S ROCKET: by Wayan; 2010/9/4; a dream on how facing abuse can fan inflammation DAY: I find old photos showing my dad ogled my sister, the Lee girls, and teens he met at the beach. DREAM: Juana Lee wants to fire a rocket launcher--indoors. The house'll burn! But she won't relent... CAUTION: INCESTUOUS & PEDOPHILIC DAD-VIBES
	THE KING OF PERSIA: by Wayan; 1990/4/1, an annoying family dream. My dad has a time machine, so he generously invites the King of Persia over. And offers him MY room...
	LAING SAYS: by Wayan, 1983/2/10; a cluttered, comic, goofy predictive dream DREAM: I run into a couple I know. I get gridlocked. R.D. Laing gives me a transpersonal message. DAY: I bump into that couple, get gridlocked, and hear R.D. Laing speak on transpersonal messages...
	THE LIMP: by Wayan; 1986/7/18, a dream on difference I was working for a London architect. His son thought people shunned him for his limp, but...
	LION NOW, EMANCIPATION LATER: by Wayan; 2000/5/5, two dreams as my dad lay dying We must hunt a man-eating lion to protect our village--our village full of slaves. But we can't deal with our looming social crisis now--gotta focus on the lion in front of us.. CAUTION: SLAVERY, ILLNESS, DEATH
	MAFIA DENTIST: by Wayan, 2007/7/10; a predictive comic nightmare. My dentist (a Haitian Mafia leader) sends a message to my dad (also a Mafia don) by dental cruelty....
	THE MAN WHO MISTOOK...: by Wayan; 1995/9/19, an insane dream. I'm just an ordinary guy, who beats his son so he'll grow faster, and sees tits on drinking fountains...
	MINE BACK DOOR: by Wayan; 1979/9/7, a dream on mining the unconscious. Deep in a secret diamond mine, I see stars. A door opening to the night sky! But this shortcut's heavily guarded...
	THE MIWOK RITE: by Wayan; 1999/11/20, a dream fable. A ritual in a future society makes me laugh. I tease a futurian, insist it's really an old Miwok rite...
	MOLLY'S PROSTHETIC: by Wayan, 1994/9/22, a dream predicting a mood drug will fail My dad's new wife is a collie. Naturally, she wants a prosthetic arm. But she has no site to bind it to... CAUTION: FURRY NUDITY, LEERING BUSINESSMAN, DOG WIFE
	THE MURDERS: by four Wayans! 1971/7/14; a family has simultaneous psychic nightmares. Nearly everyone in my family dreams of a mass murder as it happens nearby. But my dad's sure it's his own evil id, and my mom clams up, and my sister forgets. And me? I doubt the whole thing for ten years, until... CAUTION: NIGHTMARE VIOLENCE
	MY LIPS ARE SEALED: by Wayan, 1989/6/3, a moody, psychic, epic, two-part dream. I'm a Romantic poet who defeats the curse of the fountain, to marry; but when our daughter's grown, a new curse strikes me mute, paralyzed. And I mistake this for old age! Then, in real life, my dad wakes up from a nap paralyzed...
	OLD AND IN THE WAY: by Wayan; 1999/5/3, a veiled predictive dream. On the street called Old And In The Way, I meet a psychic I crushed on as a kid, and then, in a hearth, fight the tentacled alien who's been stalking me...
	PHARAOH HOOKS: by Wayan; 1989/7/31, a deadpan joke of a dream. My sister and her friend the snake-woman tell me the facts of life: the golden hooks, the piglets... CAUTION: UNRELIABLE GYNECOLOGY
	PRODIGIES' ODDITIES: by Wayan; 1994/2/2, a confession. I suspect we child prodigies and geniuses are as unlike the gifted as normal people. So here's a checklist... CAUTION: BRAIN REQUIRED
	HIS RACIST SON: by Wayan; 1994/1/8, an incubated dream offering two diagnoses Suddenly I hate and fear black kids in school! The counselor says I'm clinically paranoid: I need drugs! My dad says "How strange, how sad." And goes home to light a candle at his shrine to the Confederacy... CAUTION: INDUCED RACISM
	RANGE: by Wayan; three 2019/8/19 advisory dreamlets plus 2020/1/8 followup 1: My dad can't see my world. Literally can't see my world... 2: The House of Busyness is unlivable--busy, crowded, noisy... 3: Achievement takes twelve factors; any one can block you...
	SABOTEUR: by Chris Wayan; dreamed 1991/4/18 & 5/12, dreamsong 2012 (MP3 + lyrics) I dreamed I got to meet my inner saboteur. Educational! But in the next dream I BECAME my saboteur. I wasn't out to crash myself--just stay low, never soar. Since success is wicked...
	THE SEA WOLF'S BRAIN: by Wayan; 1999/11/21, a psychic dream. For years the Sea-Wolf enslaved me. He said I had to fight him and win to be free. I'm ready at last...
	SNOW STALLION: by Wayan; 1994/6/4, a tangled political/spiritual dream. I'm a peace terrorist trapped in Squaw Valley, herded like a mare by a huge stallion made of snow... And then the dream shifts. I blurt out the truth behind our idiotic waking world! And wake believing it... CAUTION: MERMAID AND HORSE NUDITY
	SPEWING WINE: by Wayan; 1992/8/17, a Freudian-slip dream baring family dysfunction My family moves into a damp, leaking basement. My dad just sneers at us for fussing about the cold, the damp, the mildew, the leaks. "I'll show you REAL leaking..."
	SPLINTER: by Wayan; 1981/3/14, a dream of love and nagging. I love Splinter, but her mom insists I got BOTH of them pregnant. Then I notice I'm pregnant too... CAUTION: SEX, NAGGING
	SWALLOWED!: by Wayan; 1990/7/30, a warning dream. An ancient pictograph inspires me to try a meditative technique: shrinking and letting myself be eaten... CAUTION: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME
	THEA'S HOUSE: by Wayan; 1987/3/23, a life-changing dream. I dreamed the Earth Goddess invited me to live with her. She was lonely to be seen for who she was...
	THE 1200-STEP PROGRAM: by Wayan; 1987/12/17, an illustrated dreamtale. I'm climbing a tower, as my dad, Apollo, drunk, throws bottles at me from the top, breaking bones... CAUTION: DENIAL ABOUT ALCOHOLISM
	VOLCANIC OATH: by Wayan; 1972/5/20; poem of a teenage Tolkien nightmare. DAY: our ex-cat comes back, needing surgery. Dad doesn't want to pay. Big quarrel. DREAM: Cats, birds, elf-girls; in their asteroid library, a tale of oath-breaking... Now I'm the one who stole a tooth of jade from the volcano hall. Greed... erupts! CAUTION: NUDE BIRD-ELF, DEATH BY LAVA
	WARIA: by Wayan; 1987/3/23, digital painting of a pointed advisory dream. My life was a sex disaster. I felt ugly and sick. Then I dreamed I found a counselor who really helped. But my parents warned me against her. Why? They explained: WARNING: NUDITY
	WHOSE DREAM WAS IT?: by Wayan; 2008/10/18, a nested-dream poem, Dreamverse #35. I'm a Chinese kid fleeing the Japanese Occupation in 1938. As we near San Francisco, I wake to find it's all my dad's dream. Wait--he's alive again? But he was never a refugee. Is it a pastlife memory? If so, whose--his or mine?