IT DOESN'T ADD UP
Dreamed 1995/6/26 by Chris Wayan
My friend Dawn's curious about my parents. "How old were they when they got married?"
"My father was 30, my mother 23."
She gasps. "A five-year gap! That's a lot! So he dominated her."
"Well... no, I wouldn't say so. She was from a better-off family, had traveled, was gifted. He was gifted too, but from a hick family, the only kid to get a college degree. He was... naive."
Surprised to hear myself say this. But I think it's true. Their power relations may well have been equal right from the start. Certainly later on she was the strong one.
I wake up and write the dream down. Only as I shake off the spell of the dream do I notice that 30-23=7 not 5! Dawn's picture of my parents' relationship literally doesn't add up.
Though... my sister Miriel and I ARE 5 years apart in age. I had strong sexual feelings toward her, but I also felt protective. Today I often get shy with younger women I'm attracted to, and it may be flashbacks to the taboo about Miriel--a voice saying "A younger girlfriend is incest, molestation, exploitation!"
The dream-math points out that this doesn't add up! My mom, seven years younger, held her own with my dad. In fact she was the strong one. So why do I assume I'd dominate or exploit someone younger? I'm attracted to beauty and energy, after all--not weakness or ignorance.
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