Oh, and how to attain it--which, unfortunately, involves cleaning out sources of misery, addiction, and just plain unhappiness...
RELATED TOPICS: dreams of laughter - love - tears - rage - terror - See also the full INDEX OF SUBJECTS.
What this site is - Add your dreams! - How to read blurbs - Ratings - Copyright - Downloading - The World Dream Bank has 2300 dreams plus 1000 more pages on dreamwork, shamanism, surrealism, fantasy, worldbuilding, creativity and genius. Site © Chris Wayan 2001-2013.
|AFTER THE FLOOD AND THE PIG-EARED BABY ALLIGATOR: by Skiznot; 1994-96, an oracular dream
My hometown floods. I swim after some strange fish and find a scientific community where a scaled baby tells me who I am...
|ANGELUNE: by Wayan; 364 x 481, 1999. Acrylic painting
The joyful animal-angel I feel myself to be in my happiest dreams.
|ANIMAL HEAVEN: by Wayan; 2008/8/16, an astral dream-poem; Dreamverse #6.
At a party in Animal Heaven, I fall for a rabbit-girl doomed to be human dinner. How can I rescue her? I'm Fate's part-time intern!
CAUTION: BREASTS, BEASTS, INCOMPETENT ANGEL OF DEATH
|AROUND LAKE ERIE AND ACROSS THE HUDSON: by Rachel Hadas; 1997?, a dream-poem.
My dead friend Charlie and his sister and I are driving around Lake Erie. We know it’s a dream and he’s dead, and yet we’re joyous...
|AUSPICIOUS TRACTOR HATE: by Wayan; 1984/4/17, a positive frustration dream.
A party for me and my shadow, to celebrate that we haven't killed each other, just HATE each other...
|BEAUTY, BRAINS, WARMTH: by Wayan; 1987/11/28, a didactic dreamtale.
The Goddess won't tell me who to seek, to love, just WHAT to seek--and what not to...
CAUTION: DIVINELY SANCTIONED TRIGAMY?
|BREAK FREE: by Emily Joy; 2006/5/11, an encouraging dream on the price of safety.
I search for family skeletons, but then a talking plant on TV inspires me to seek the sun and fly free. But certain velociraptors and barbarian swordswomen object...
CAUTION: DUELS, FISH ABUSE, THE F-WORD
|BROWN DRESS: by Wayan; 265K; nine-page digital comic of a sexy healing dream, 1984/2/11.
A champion swimmer tells me how she turned a sexual humiliation into excitement and liberating power...
CAUTION: NUDITY, SEX, SHAME, PSYCHOLOGICAL COMPLEXITY
|CARYATID SWEET, GUIDE SOUR: by Wayan, 1999/9/2, a dream about that crazy conscious.
My guide in India says the Third World's doomed, but a stone dancer in the ruins winks behind his back...
CAUTION: NAKED CARVINGS
|CATRISE: by Wayan; 2000/2/21, a sexy flying dream; acrylic painting.
I'm an alien exchange student in Palo Alto High School. I get stared at--they wear clothes, they don't fly...
CAUTION: FELINE NUDITY
|CENTAUR AND STAR: by Wayan; 640 x 500, 1994. Digital picture.
I'm a centaur. I never left Eden. I'm still in the Garden. You are too, every night, in dreams...
|WOBBLY CENTAUR: Wayan; digital sketch 1990 based on dream I can't trace.
Wise advice from a funny looking centauress at a nude beach...
CAUTION: CRUDE NUDE
|CHANGE THE CORE PROGRAM: by Wayan; 1995/6/28, a dream of sudden progress.
I meet a tragic heroine--great heart, rotten luck. But I open her magic sword and find a bad chip...
|CHINA BEACH: by Wayan; 1992. Digital poster of a waking life-shift..
That moment when you tire of your old trauma and suddenly turn to the sun. Or fun.
CAUTION: NUDITY, SEXUAL THEMES
THE CHUTE: by Wayan; 1993/11/10, a dream transforming fear.
I'm warily crossing an avalanche chute in winter, when my worst fear happens. Then the slide speaks up...
|"CLIT!": by "D'Jeanna"; 2009/9/11, a breakthrough dream after coming out
The day after my mom outed me to my dad, I dream a great storm has passed through and everything's just glowing...
|DATIN' DEMON: by Mark Varitz and Wayan; 1989/12/3; Mark's dream triggers one by Wayan.
I meet my personal demon, and discover it has a personal demon: me! Am I worse than my Shadow?
CAUTION: CRUDE LANGUAGE
|DAWN SAYS 'SCULPT MASTURBATION': by Wayan; 1997/8/3; an advisory dream
My sculptor friend Dawn corrected my statue of a girl relaxing to a girl really relaxing... it only took me 13 years to act on the dream!
CAUTION: SKETCHED & SCULPTED MASTURBATION
|DELIGHT EVOLVES FLIGHT: by Wayan; 2011/12/23, an advisory dream
In a parallel world, a gliding griflynx displays a brilliant evolutionary strategy: joy! It's the strongest mate magnet...
|DIVINE IMAGE, or, A VISION OF ADONAI: by Anna Kingsford, 1877/7/23, a waking vision
Gazing at the moon, Anna suddenly finds herself touring the Solar System and meeting all the planetary guardians...
CAUTION: MYSTICAL ECSTASY
|DRAGGED TO HER HEART'S DESIRE: by Wayan; 1997/9/16, a dream with a lesson.
The friends of a touchy aviator have to kidnap her just to give her a present... and WHAT a present...
|EMOTIONAL PALETTE: by Wayan; 2000/3/22, an indescribable dream.
My spirit-wife and I spend our last evening together painting. Not with colors--with emotions...
|ENJOY LIFE: by Wayan; 1988; digital painting based on 1983/8/24 dream
This image is senseless, but I have an excuse: I was watching TV in my dreams. TV on another world...
|FAIRY WIFE: by Wayan; 1985/1/17, an epic dream of love and choice.
A fairy woman and a mortal man? Can't work! They're flighty, we're crude. Doomed, right? Well, some people are so sure of it they decide to help things along a bit. Or a lot...
|FIGHTING A VIRUS: by Wayan, 1998/11/21, a diagnostic nightmare.
Coming down with a virus, I dream of a guy who INSISTS we must fight, it's just so FUN...
|FIGURE IN BLUE TANKTOP LOOKS IN MIRROR: by Wayan; 1995/5/15
After a workout, she looks at herself in the mirror, and for once, she LIKES herself...
CAUTION: SHE LIKES HERSELF, AND WE CAN'T HAVE THAT!
|FIGURE DRAWING: EYES SHUT IN SUN: by Wayan; 1995/5/17, crayon sketch from photo.
Just a startling moment when a woman with backlit hair turned incandescent...
|FIGURE DRAWING: NOW HOLD THAT POSE: by Wayan; 1989/11/6 digital sketch of model clowning.
Shasé liked absurd, impossible poses, and she held them heroically...
CAUTION: SILLY NUDITY
|FISHERGIRLS: by Wayan; 2.6M, 42 illus.; 1996/7/15; a sexy dream epic.
I had a spectacular dream one night, that lasted many days in dream-time--a true other life. It wasn't Earth, and we weren't human.
I was a teenage lemur, sailing with two friends into unknown waters--a rite of passage. I woke on deck deep in the night, my friends curled around me, and realized I didn't WANT to pass the test, be declared a grown woman, marry and have pups. I loved my girl friends. In a world lacking the very word, I was groping toward queerdom. Sailing into unknown waters! "Here be dragons," the old maps say. And they were right...
If 2600K is too big to load, try it in parts: 1: HOME, 650K, 2: VOYAGE, 1200K, 3: BACK 750K.
CAUTION: NUDITY, SEX, QUEER TEEN ANGST, ANTI-FUNDAMENTALISM
|FLOATING: by Wayan; ink with acrylic wash 1982, digital tweaking 1997; sketch of daydream.
Hokusai's wild mad lines inspired me to draw myself his way, floating asleep on the astral sea...
|FOOD CAME BETWEEN US: by Wayan, 1993/4/25, a tasty dream epic.
The terror of Navy breakfast, the joy of filterfeeding, how to marry pudding, and a sniper lunch with kisses...
|FORGET THE FLEURS DU MAL: by Wayan; 1983/1/1?, a poem on nightmares.
In the richest regions of the sea, dead stuff wells up to meet the light. Do we have similar zones?
|FOUR LOVERS: by Wayan; 1992; digital painting based on recurrent dream
A recurring dream of a fourway marriage of animal people. I don't think it's symbolic, but predictive...
CAUTION: FURRY SEX
|FOXES: by Wayan; 1991. Digital dream-based painting..
Long ago I saw a marvelous Hiroshige print of a fox convocation, lit by moon and foxfires...
CAUTION: LESBIAN SPOOKS
|FUTURIANS: by Wayan; 1997/11/11, a dream on innocence.
A time-loop introduces me to a future self full of innocent enthusiasm. Maddening!
|GOOD DOG!: by Wayan; 1992; sketch of inner me: doggily insecure.
The shy, doggy need for reassurance I often crave from a lover--do I crave a mistress, an owner?...
CAUTION: NUDITY, PILLOW TALK
|HAPPINESS UNBLOCKS ART: by Wayan; 1997/7/7, nondream book review
An insight about a fictional character who unblocks her creativity changes my own life strategy...
|HAUNTED BUT HAPPY: by Wayan; 1990/9/13, a labyrinthine dream.
Some Christian oneirologists barge into the Haunted Firehouse. But I pose for nude unicorn photos, and...
CAUTION: DUMB CHRISTIANS, EXHIBITIONIST UNICORNS, ETC.
|HAWKING COUNTRY: by Wayan; 1994/2/3, a quantum-level dream.
I read Stephen Hawking, and dream I'm in the Quantum Desert, full of bridges, holes, and loops--like the microstructure of spacetime. But it's not alien at all--it's HOME!
|HER HORSE: by Wayan; 1985/5/14, a dream fable about bodies.
A farm girl seems to be sexually exploiting her dog and horse, but their auras tell another tale...
CAUTION: SEX SYMBOLISM
|HOW TO BE HAPPY: A FABLE BY TOLKIEN: by Wayan; 1994/6/16, a dream, not by Tolkien.
I'm a librarian in an English village hit by waves of new philosophies and lifestyles. And I learn what works:
|HOWARD ANY TIME NOW: by Alice; before 1961, a predictive dream of a ghost calling.
My dead father said "We are looking for Howard any time now. We'll be glad to see him but sorry for the ones he left..."
|I DREAM OF DERIVERRANS: by Wayan; 1982/11/16, a Joycean dream of surrender.
I must rescue Ann Soforth from righteous rapists, then Paul McCartney from a musical curse...
CAUTION: ABUSED CHILD, JOYCEAN LANGUAGE
|ID FLOWERS: by Wayan; 1989/10/8, a dream of wish and fear
The villagers warned me not to walk in the alien graveyard; for at night, the Id flowers wake...
|THE ILL-FORMED TALE: by Wayan; 160K, 1981/4/7, a wild dream anti-epic.
To reach the Peak of Happiness on the Isle of Dreams, I must pass four Perils--but they're all backwards...
CAUTION: RELIGIOUS NUTS, KNIVES, NUDE ALIENS, BACKWARD PLOT...
|I'LL TRY: by Wayan; 1990. Nondream picture-poem.
From a paleolithic doodle--an early self-portrait rebelling against my gender, and trying on beauty...
|IN WOMEN'S PRISON: by Wayan; 1994/7/23, a dream of faith.
A woman in prison loves her counselor, but she's a barely literate hooker--she knows he won't love her back...
|INACTION PAINTING: by Wayan; 1995/10/29, digital dream-figure collage
When I see that grim museum shit I start giggling "Boy art!" The guards glare, so I go home and paint like this.
CAUTION: NUDITY, SEX TALK, LUST FAIRIES AND FLYING TEENY WEENIES
|KIOSK: by Wayan; 1994/5/1, a 4-page dreamcomic on the power of song (or illustrated text version)
I'm a sexy singing beast, the Krelkin, trying to lure the Reading Man out of his Moral Kiosk...
CAUTION: NUDITY, INTERSPECIES FLIRTATION
|THE KRELKIN SISTERS ON MISSION ST: by Wayan; 261K, 1995/6/7, a dream of superior beings
I was walking in the Mission, in San Francisco, when two sisters came up to me who no one else could see...
CAUTION: FURRY NUDITY
|LILIES, DREAMER, FOX: by Wayan; 1998, acrylic on 46" plywood disk, life study.
She didn't want to be there. She closed her eyes and went elsewhere. So I painted where she went...
|THE LIMP: by Wayan; 1986/7/18, a dream on difference
I was working for a London architect. His son thought people shunned him for his limp, but...
|LIZ: by Wayan; 1989, digital painting of a daydream.
I'm not sure just where she slithered out from, but she looks like more fun than most mammals...
CAUTION: LIZARD BREAST
|LOBSTER ECSTASY: by Wayan; 1970/11/1?, a teenage lobster love dream.
One of my first recorded dreams--how I foolishly turned away from Lobster Love...
CAUTION: CHITINOUS SEX
|LOLA: by Wayan; 1995/4/22, a wild dream: psychic, shamanic and... economic? .
How the hell do I summarize this? Lola, a werefox I'm hot for, becomes my feudal Japanese brother, and her fox-shape reappears as the truck-driving maid for a Han Dynasty lady. We counter the interdimensional energy vampires by importing ghost unicorns on sailing ships, who have an orgy...
Two weeks later it all comes true. Literally? No. But closer than you think....
|LUCID FLIGHT: by Lisa Reich; March 2003, an ecstatic lucid dream of flight.
I flew as if part of the air--an otherworldly freedom so exquisite I wonder if it's attainable at all in earthly existence...
|MAELEN AND ME: by Wayan; 1972/5/1, a transmigrational dream.
I'm a psychic circus animal who's just managed to teleport my humanoid girlfriend. It's for our act, but...
|THE MAGIC WORDS: by Wayan; 1974/5/29, an early dream on word-magic.
Humanity in the future desperately needs the magic words from the past to free them. But... "pickle?"
|MARIAH: by Wayan, 1994/9/23, a mystical flying dream.
An un-jealous wind lifts me above the San Francisco hills, so I can hunt for my love: the Muse...
|MY GATE: by Wayan; 1996/5/29; a bizarre, joyful dream; 4-page comic (or ill. text version)
The full moon rises: I become Weregirl, do the Moondance, and gnaw open the lock on my heart...
|NAOMI, CAVES, AND LEMON TREES: by Jenny Badger Sultan, 1995/10/4, a joyful dream
I swim with my daughter Naomi in a desert pool surrounded by lemon trees. She may be able to help me resolve...
|NEUTRALITY'S ROOMMATE: by Emily Joy; 2007/4/19, a spooky dream.
At our commune's new house, pandemonium breaks out when our matriarch meets a spook. Can we live together in peace?
|NEWT WEDDING: by Emily Joy; spring 1995, 100k, a six-year-old's epic dream
Through wild jungles and over the Mattress Mountains, I lead a giant purple newt to love...
|NIGHT FLIGHT: by Catherine as told to Wayan; c. 1983/8/10, a flying transformation dream..
My friend Catherine dreamed she was a flying mare with golden hooves. But in real life, she lost them...
|OCTOPIA: by Wayan; 1996/3/21, a spiritual dream-comic on play; ill. text version
I'm a stratospheric bat who finds a flying swastika. Is it creeping fascism or a Hindu blessing? Neither! An Octopian frisbee...
|ON MOLLY'S FOREHEAD: by Wayan, 1988/11/19, a spiritual sex dream.
A child of radicals goes wild in Rio. When we bail her out, we find she's had a strange enlightenment...
CAUTION: UNSAFE SEX
|ORCA TOWS: by Wayan; 1984/5/25, a dream with impact.
I show an Ohio friend the latest California sport. We haven't quite worked out how to land just yet...
|THE PAINT KIDS: by Wayan; 1996/11/23, a possibly psychic dream.
Two child artists mail themselves to me in their paint kit, and start a painting orgy that gets messy...
CAUTION: PEDOPHILIA, OR MAYBE PEDOPHOBIA
|PERISSA: by Wayan; 660K total (15 images); 1997/9/13, a sexy political dream.
When Perissa, an exhibitionistic centaur, bares her body in a crowded Coliseum, she also bares a racist plot...
CAUTION: EXHIBITIONISM, SPECISM
|PET AD, OR, RENTADOG: by Wayan; 1996/11/9, an illustrated Shakespearean singles-ad.
I put a singles ad in our paper, but I just couldn't say what I really wanted to. Now, I can...
CAUTION: SEX, DRUGS, AND DOGGEREL
|PICARD'S ANGELS: by Wayan; 1993/1/7, a poem; alternate treatment of the dream PICARDIAN ANGELS
As a boy on Martinique, Jean-Luc Picard wished for so much so hard, his angels have to work overtime...
|PYLONS: by Louis MacNeice; Jan. 1940. A surreal political dream.
I was on a steamer run amok, in a boiling yellow incredible sea out of which great pylons rose...
|RANI: by Wayan; 120K total (8 illus.), 1994/1/28, a dreamtale on choice.
A Borges story of a were-tiger provokes a dream of a ranch crawling with weird women. But I LIKE them...
CAUTION: NUDE CREATURES
|THE RED BEAST WAS HAPPY: by Wayan; dreamed 1981/11/16, a subtly healing dream
I was timid. Red scared me. But this huge confident dream-beast hinted at a new energy...
|REFLECTIONS IN THE POOL: by Wayan; 184K total, 2 panoramas; a 1994/7/2 dream.
Night. A mirror-maze of contradictory preachings. But in the secret mermaid pool, I find love.
Then... sphinx-angels war in the air! A war of riddles. Can I, a batwinged devil, make peace?
CAUTION: SEX, NUDITY, MEAN ANGELS, AND ONE HAPPY DEVIL
|RIVERBANK BLISS: by "Anonymous #11"; c. 1920, a mood-predicting dream
Eleven years after I dreamt of that green dress and green riverbank and dreamy day, I was convalescing in...
|A SEX KITTEN: by Wayan; 1999/1/29, an embarrassing dream.
A creature that's half kitten and half baby wants me to masturbate it... I'm reluctant, but when I do...
|SHADOW PUZZLE: THE LORD AND HIS SERVANT: by Wayan; 1984/5/23, a reflective dream.
A puzzle-game of eyes and mirrors and shadows starts revealing the players' deepest secrets...
|SHASTA STANDARDS: by Wayan; 1998/9/19, a dream of social change.
In a future where we gengineer ourselves instead of others, we no longer have to choose lesser evils...
|SHE DREAMS OF BELLY DANCING: by Daughn Lee and Roswila; 1999 (2000?), a collaborative dream-poem
Alternating stanzas by very different poets, based on Roswila's dream of bellydancing in the streets...
|A SHELLFISH EPIPHANY: by Wayan; 1996/6/14, a spiritual dream.
I'm a Japanese pearldiver; our family's cast away on a coral islet. One day, lonely, scared, I cast away fear...
|SHOWERED WITH WISHES: by Zooop; 2007/3/12, a dream that enough is enough
I took my cellphone into the shower. I couldn’t find the shampoo, and idly typed SHAMPOO in, and...
CAUTION: NOW YOU KNOW WHO STOLE YOUR ODD SOCKS
|SILKY AT THE MIKE: by Wayan; 1998? Sketch of recurring dream
Ours is a mixed-race family, and my sister takes after the horse side. No hands, but can she sing!...
|SILKY'S WEDDING: by Wayan; 1988/1/6, a dreamtale.
Silky, my often-animal anima, leads me into a strange pagan church where we get married at last...
|SILKY SINGS WITH WEREWOLF BOY: by Wayan; 1998; dream figures on bedspread, 5'x7'
My anima the singing horse was encouraging a shy werewolf boy to give it a try...
CAUTION: UNCLAD HORSE CHANTEUSE
|SO ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION: by Wayan; 1990? Digital picture-poem destroyed and resurrected.
I had a horrible realization that computers are useless, and I tried to make it beautiful...
|SONG by Nancy Price; Nov. or Dec. 1948, a transcendent music dream
Numb, sunk in a trance, I only woke when I broke through a wall to light and magical birdsong...
|SONG FOR THE DANCE: by Roswila; 2000/11/25, a dream-poem
A joyful song about ignoring your critics. The last stanza came verbatim from the dream...
|SPIT DOOR: by Wayan; 1997/9/7, a flying dream.
I have a job setting up secret doors to other realities and creating paths through our world between them...
|STARGIRL: by Wayan; 1993. Digital image of altered state
I squabble with my body so much! But sometimes, at the moment of orgasm, we dissolve into stars, and become...
CAUTION: SEX POETRY
|STOMPERS: by Wayan; 2013/8/24, a surreal dream of confidence
I dream I'm a runner named Silky; but a solo run outside the crowd can get you stomped by giant aliens...
|STOMPO: by Wayan; 1992; digital sketch of imaginary dance.
Just a soft sketch of two dancers...then this loud slutty stomping woman leapt into the center...
|SWAN: by Wayan; 225K (5 images), 1995/4/8, a stubborn dreamtale.
I wake amnesic in a cabin in Alaska, in a dress printed with self-putdowns. I track down who cursed me...
|TACKY IS AN ANGLO IDEA, or, NEW BRACELET!: by Wayan; 1983. Bicultural nondream vision
I like bad taste. Taste always tasted like another Anglo conspiracy to keep me from having fun...
|THE TAO OF DENNIS THE MENACE: by Wayan; 1986/4/17, a dream of a wise mentor.
Chased by purple squid from Jupiter, I seek refuge with a guru the Goddess recommends for me...
|TAROT: FRIENDSHIP (3 of cups): by Wayan; 29K. Tarot card, 3x5", summer 1978.
Three friends in a garden pledge loyalty forever with a toast of the wine of the heart...
|TAROT: DEATH (Resurrection): by Wayan; Tarot card, 3x5", summer 1979.
So you die, and to your secular surprise, your soul or psyche (which does after all mean butterfly) metmorphoses into...
|TAROT: THE LOVERS: by Wayan; 290 x 500. Tarot card, 3x5", summer 1978.
The card of love. I'm not sure what genders the lovers are, but no matter...
|TAROT: THE PIANIST (Knight of Wands?): by Wayan; 27K. Tarot card, 3x5", summer 1978.
The knight of creative fire, who takes over when you've mastered technique but kept your passion...
|TAROT: TAHOE DRAGON: by Wayan; 34K. Tarot card from a 1980/8/16 dream.
A wild, happy, homicidal dragon who forced me to fight it midair over Lake Tahoe...
|TAROT: THE WINGED COYOTE (Freedom! No suit. No rank.): by Wayan; tarot card from a dream, 1979/3/14.
I dreamed I was the Spirit of Mexico: a winged coyote flying around Sonora howling at the moon...
|TRANSPERSONAL PUPPIES by a dog breeder; before 1961, a cledonic dream of a ghost
The stranger seemed to know me. He said "Tell her about the little dogs, it will comfort her." Two weeks later...
|TRUMP ON THE RUN: by Wayan; 1990/3/8, an illustrated dreamtale.
The manhunt is on for Donald Trump, rich sociopath. But he too is pursuing something: happiness...
|TRUSTING FOXES: by Wayan; 175K, 2 big pp, 1997/8/20, a comic of a psychic dream.
A lawyer sends me a letter full of fox-girls! In Asia foxes mean trouble, but instantly I know they mean...
|UGLY AND HAPPY: by Wayan; 640 x 400, ca. 1991, digital finger-painting.
I try to make beauty, try to be beauty, but all the while, this voice keeps snickering...
|WARIA: by Wayan; 640 x 450, 1989, digital image based on a 1987/3/23 dream.
My life was a sex disaster. I made myself ugly and sick. But then one night I dreamed I found a healer...
|WHAT MEN HIDE BEHIND: by Wayan; 1992/11/30, an alarming comic dream
The real pursuit of happiness: Happiness pursues ME, and I run in shame and hide! But she's persistent...
|THE WILD HUNT: by Carl Jung; Sept. 1922, a clairvoyant dream.
In a dark wood, a gigantic wolfhound tore past me. My blood froze. The Wild Hunt was about to carry away a human soul...
|WILLPOWER (HAPPINESS): by Wayan; 1991/1/17, a didactic dream.
At age 90, the first female high-rise steelworker tells me why she did it--and why she regrets it...
|WINGS by Nancy Price; 1948, two bird-people dreams, one psychic
I have a long chat with two talking songbirds. Next I'm a parrot, living in rainforest. And then the mail comes...
|WORKIN' FOR PEANUTS: by Wayan; 1990/12/11, a crude but perceptive dream.
I'm an elephant working in a diner. In the bathroom, I inadvertently summon the Genie of the Urinal...
CAUTION: PISSED PACHYDERM
|YELLOW SERENADE: by Wayan; 1979/2/22, an absurd dreamtale.
Restrain yourself! Or you too may end up on a giraffe rollerskating down the freeway singing perverted popsongs...
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