It's been a while, but I'm returning to dream research. I go back to the same oneirology lab where I used to be a star, and find it's being run by different people now: mainly a couple I used to know, who, frankly, I mistrusted. They turned Christian, and I felt they judged me for being a shaman--a pagan.

Used to be, we oneironauts just lay down to sleep in the dream-boat. That way, when we wake up on the dream-sea, we're all ready to raise the sail and go where we want. I don't see why they've changed the procedure. The Christian couple insists we go to sleep on the overturned hull! Convex and uncomfortable. "That way" they tell me happily "it FLIPS when the dream-sea appears, waking us up. We don't waste a minute on the other side--it's like an alarm clock!"

"Yeah, and you get dunked in the sea, and maybe there's a REASON to wake up gradually in the dreamworld."

"Well, this is the approved procedure now, so if you want to come along, do it our way."

Yeah, don't listen to me. I'm just a shaman. I lack the true religion after all. (I know, I'm biased.)

So we end up on the dream-lake... and it's murky! It NEVER was before! I feel furious and even scared that they've managed to pollute the water (well, to be fair, they've only polluted the way WE encounter it. If I come here alone I bet the water'll still be clean.)

Finally we land. I feel much safer, even though the shore is Haunted. I do warn them. So what? They're Christians, they're not afraid of ghosts. Uh huh.

So we walk up to the Haunted Firehouse, really just a big red barn where long ago my housemate Jamie met a poltergeist and was never seen again! The couple open the barn door and walk in... I hover by the door--to late to close it now that the ghosts are free, I guess. Peer inside, and see my old friend Jade, Jamie's mom, staring into a full-length mirror, then trying to pick it up. Uh-oh! That'll wake the poltergeist for sure, they're mirror junkies. I suddenly fear a garage door will descend, trapping them... and it DOES. I run round the side and find a smaller door, tear it open and yell "RUN! Get out NOW! And quit TOUCHING stuff!"

The path out is narrow, between tall piles and bins. The Christian woman reaches for something and I scream "Don't! Jade, get out the other side!" because I know this idiot won't listen and in a second this way out will be blocked too. Yes. She touches the bin, the passage starts to collapse... why didn't I grab her hand and DRAG her out, keep her from pawing at the goods? Because I sense she sees any touch from ME, a pagan, as a come-on! And I've been deferring to her tender sensibilities--while she wrecks this place and frees demons!

Jade runs toward me and starts climbing over the collapsed bins, but she's still holding the mirror. I yell one last time "DROP IT, JADE!" Though I worry that if it breaks, the poltergeist could use the shards as knives. Deadly! Jade struggles up the junk pile...

I run down a lane and find my car, drive it back toward the Haunted Firehouse door. Rutted road, car gets stuck, I rock it fiercely till it's free. Reach the barn and... it's all changed.

A long wooden building, a private club, has replaced the red barn. Peering in two large side rooms, I see naked, squirming bodies and gasps and laughter. A SEX club? I'm in odd clothes--a loose shirt showing my navel, and an elastic band around my hips, too low-riding and short to be called a miniskirt. It's too tight on my thighs, a bit uncomfortable. Suddenly I'm not sure what sex I am! It matters, because I think this sex club is male-dominated. Pure intuition--no evidence really.

I'm excited, but uneasy--haunted by the previous scene, I think. If this IS some equivalent of the Poltergeist's Firehouse, I better get out, curious or not.

Reach a small foyer... and find one of my paintings, "Lean On Me"! Me as a girl leaning on me as a unicorn.

Below the picture stands a huge-format Polaroid camera on a tripod and flood lights. And... a mirror on the wall.

I glance at myself, and stop in shock. I'm beautiful. I'm in my teens, with long black hair, a Native American face with high cheekbones...

I decide to photograph myself!

I know, I know. This is how Jade felt, I guess, with HER mirror... probably the others were lured in similar ways, right on back to Jamie...

A donkey clops into the room! A lean, graceful donkey, the exact size to pose as a unicorn, carrying in its teeth like an eager dog, a handy strap-on horn. I give in to the inevitable at last... slip out of my clothes and lean up against the donkey, who leans into me warmly, and the camera clicks.

I count a minute and peel away the Polaroid's cover to see the shot. We're sexier than my painting! I'm amazed. I'm more beautiful than that girl--she's just a flat image, but I have real muscles, real skin, real hair, flowing and glowing. A real body. Even the donkey looks better than the painted unicorn. I'm excited, I feel turned on by my own photo. The donkey scents me and starts to get horny. Other animal people wander into the room... I can see now how these orgies form. I was the nucleus myself! But I'm not afraid any more. No one's coercing me--I feel safe. More than safe. For the first time in my life I feel beautiful. So I let them lick me and stroke me, and I kiss and pet them back till we collapse in a heap of happy creatures.

And I wake a bit bewildered... but purring.

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