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Mom Pops

Dreamed 1983/8/5 by Wayan

The sky's gray. I'm wading around my backyard garden. It's flooded thigh-deep. The richest flowerbeds are all drowned, just leaf-tips above water.

My mom is here, inspecting a droopy fuchsia bush. "It's dying" she says. "Infested with parasitic bugs. You didn't care properly for your fuchsia."

I say "That's not true. Those bugs are all over, a major invasion. Don't you read the papers?" She's silent. "And they're curable. Just takes a spray of light mineral oil. I don't have that, but I can put cooking oil in a squirt gun."

My mom says "That's hopeless!" Keeps discouraging me even as I fill the gun. I ask her permission (why? Just so it's on the record?), she says "No!"... and I spray anyway.

As I defy my mom and spray my fuchsia, I hear a "POP" behind me, near as loud as a gunshot. Worries me. Turn to find...

I treat a fuchsia bush in my flooded garden, and my mom explodes; sketch of a dream by Wayan
...my mom is gone. She could have been shot and fallen in the flood, or dived under, but I check the snags I can see... nope. She doesn't come up either. I don't want to drag the river, not if there's a chance that WAS gunfire. Uneasy, I slip into a thicket of droopy fuchsias around back cabin. Feel safer hidden...

NOTES IN THE MORNING

Fuchsia:

  1. "Fucks ya": sex. My mom's parents favored her brother & ignored her. So now she treats men as jerks--including me. Discourages me from dating. "You're trouble..." Just by BEING male.
  2. My "future"! When I protect my future against parasitic pests, my mom pops like a soap bubble. Because she IS a pest. Draining my initiative.
POP: in the dream I'm blind to my own success! I mistook her bursting for gunfire--for a threat. When my worst inner critic just popped!

And how many more of our nightmare figures are just hollow bags of... hot air?



LISTS AND LINKS: natural disasters - water and floods - flowers - diseases - parasites - nagging & pessimism - self-defense & assertion - balloons - bang! - fear & anxiety - guns - humor - puns - dating - healing from abuse - therapy - dreamwork - My mom, Marcy - dream moms in general - art done that day: Snakemate

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