The wife of Admiral Richard Deane dreamt how he died two days before the news arrived...
I see parasitic spirits sickening their human hosts. Can't get rid of them, so I try to teach them how to
keep their hosts healthier. An angel suspects I'm a necromancer, and shows up armed for a shootout...
CAUTION: DISTURBING PREMISE, LOWBROW ANGEL
I hop on a bus in mythical Greece, and this woman's guardian angel acts racist. OK, I'm an ogre. So?
CAUTION: ANOTHER HANDGUN TRAGEDY
I show a friend my book of dream-art, but it's half-baked and embarrassing.
I'm no good at smuggling guns, porn or cash through customs, either...
CAUTION: LOW-RES SMUT IN THAT BOOK
Alien robots kidnap me... and make me the mascot for a college football team.
But my Channel Changer slowly infuses us all with nerdy trust...
I'm a giant cartoon bird. I had to assassinate a friend--twelve times!
Eleven times I killed him, but I spared him the twelfth. He said...
The Hunt of the Unicorn (yeah, guess who I am), as I fly through the worlds fighting Reaganism...
CAUTION: MOCKS THE GREAT COMMUNICATOR
A cart came by, drawn by a white horse, on its way to the hospital. In that cart was my husband....
CAUTION: ANGUISH, DEFEAT, PREDESTINATION
I fall for a circus girl. Her brother is jealous, so all the dwarves show up with guns...
CAUTION: INCEST ISSUES
A guy smashes homes with a duckbilled train; gunmen shoot up shops near the tracks.
The ensuing civil war burns all. Years later, we live on hardscrabble farms. Global Texas!
CAUTION: GLOBAL TEXAS!
A cricket actress I know makes it into the Dynasty of the Gods! Or is it the TV soap "Dynasty"?...
I did what I love. The money didn't follow. So now I have to guard a crimeboss at a theft convention...
CAUTION: INEVITABLE CHEKHOVIAN SHOOTOUT
Gunsel kills my friend Crystal in a flaming aircar crash. But that's not enough--he comes back, and...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE
A spacetime traveler inadvertently strands his pacifist vegetarian date in a gun-crazy mob-run town...
CAUTION: DEFAMES BYELORUSSIANS
Climbing a Mayan pyramid in Yosemite with Deanna Troy from the
Starship Enterprise, we meet a gunman who wants to sacrifice...
A gang of slavers catch my family. I flee on a bike but it breaks down. Stranded. Replay! This time I have a gun...
CAUTION: GANG, SHOOTING
My hunting license won’t let me legally shoot a giraffe or ibex, but I do bag a prime Macy’s salesman...
CAUTION: LICENSE TO KILL
On my way to a wedding, I dream I'm in a war. I liberate a camp of prisoners. But one man's so injured
he can't be moved. We have to leave him behind. My rescue of his fellows has effectively killed him...
CAUTION: GUILT AND LIFE-QUESTIONING
by Gala Dalí 1943? painted by Salvador Dalí 1944; a supposedly instantaneous dream.
Dalí's wife Gala naps, but a bee wakes her--and her dream instantly magnifies
bee into tigers! After all, both have fur, sharp bits, black & gold stripes...
CAUTION: BREASTS; BAD DREAM THEORIES.
I asked my dreams to show me my Shadow--what I deny. It showed me at least FIVE! And in every
time-branch, a runaway truck crushed me--the Truck of Ideology. Not that I seemed able to avoid it...
CAUTION: RECURRING DEATHS
That day, I hid from my batterer Kay. I dreamed I was the only man in a feminist gun class, learning self-defense...
CAUTION: DOMESTIC BATTERING
As I write a sad sex dream, a madman curls up fetally in the road outside my window. I'm slow to call 9-1-1, and...
While my body expels a kidney stone, weird scenes happen on the astral plane. At least I get to dip the pope.
CAUTION: PAIN, PEE, POPE
The terror of Navy breakfast, the joy of filterfeeding,
how to marry pudding, and a sniper lunch with kisses...
Cops shoot at us, but my first lover Pat and I dive down a rainbow wormhole, making love and fusing forever...
CAUTION: BAD COPS, (non-explicit) SEX
DAY: I watch Chef starring Dustin Hoffman as a guy with rage issues--like every guy in the film!
DREAM: On a TV show, I must defend my perks from other men. Anger's a male dialect...
CAUTION: ANGRY
Celia Green, lucid dream expert, claims nearly all lucid dreamers keep their waking
bodies, their self-image. But Whiteman & Wayan both have genderbent lucid dreams...
A human and a talking giraffe fall in love. But some hunters still shoot animal people.
So he camouflages her with paint. Bright paint. Now she's more visible than ever!
Not that I can criticize his eccentricities. I'm in love with a unicorn songwriter...
CAUTION: FURRYPHILIA
An abused girl survives grotesque situations to become a job/health counselor with a talking sofa...
CAUTION: BUTT-SNIFFING GIANT
I'm detective Travis McGee's lover. But we always die by the book's end! My solution is drastic...
CAUTION: HARD-BOILED HANDGUNS
I'm trapped in a Hitchcock thriller. Then one suicidal gunman turns into a songbird!
Next day at lunch a bird acts crazy. Over the next year, I do change from human to...
CAUTION: SUICIDAL BIRD
Elves are making humans grow tree-doors back to Faerie. But are they invasion-scouts, or just going home?
CAUTION: GUNFIGHT, MIND CONTROL
First I met an assassin girl who could raise dust storms; then a monster-hunted named Rho;
then I was the hunter, with a futuristic hovercycle and low-tech bow and arrows...
I'm an orphan shot at by hunters. They shoot my sister! But no one believes me...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE
After watching both Star Trek & Doctor Who, I find I'm held prisoner by the Rani
and her laser-toting tiger guards. So I meditate--and manifest a jetpack and a laser gun!
I never deduced I'm dreaming; it's not lucidity. It's simpler. What have I got to lose?
DAY: I find old photos showing my dad ogled my sister, the Lee girls, and teens he met at the beach.
DREAM: Juana Lee wants to fire a rocket launcher--indoors. The house'll burn! But she won't relent...
CAUTION: INCESTUOUS & PEDOPHILIC DAD-VIBES
For years Martin's dreams were all set in a parallel world untouched by World War, until...
My boyfriend, a leopard, sniffs out a clue to an old murder involving me in a past life. But did I witness, die, or kill?
DREAM 1: A man wearing long white underwear shoots me down with a machine gun.
DAY: Long John Nebel interviews me; his Freudian friend calls me a penis-envying woman.
DREAM 2: Long John and his buddy umpire a rough baseball game. Definitely not cricket...
CAUTION: SEXISM, FREUDIANS, PUNS
A nightmare. I go lucid as the bullets tear through me. Yet I go on with the dream! Why?...
CAUTION: NIGHTMARISH VIOLENCE
Parkinson dreamed his new telephone device got added to an anti-aircraft gun. He told his dream;
guns with M9 units turned out to be so accurate it gave the British hope against the Luftwaffe...
The Christian God vs Mahakala, Buddhist god of right anger! War in Middle Earth, as Pink Floyd sings...
Each time, I'm a young Elizabethan man in a grand, new-built country house. In the main room,
I find a man in black by the fire. He comes at me, and as he shoots me point-blank, I wake...
Four apparently psychic dreamlets of a gun in a desk, a guy needing to hide,
a canyon with woodpiles & a locked gate, and a blonde girl named Cathy...
CAUTION: SMALL DREAMS, LARGE IMPLICATIONS FOR E.S.P.
I'm cartoonist Marjane Satrapi. I passively tag along with friends (and a fiancé I tend to forget)
in the Mission District of San Francisco. But they blunder into real trouble...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE
After a busy exhausting day, I find myself on a dream street flirting with a really cute artist.
Until this stumpy green Martian slithers up, calls us criminals, and threatens us with a raygun...
CAUTION: DUMBEST INNER CRITIC EVER
I'm in a tribe of post-Crash kids with psychic powers, trying to keep nukes from rising again...
CAUTION: CHILD SOLDIERS
A monkey who stole a handgun aims at a troopmate and fires, ignorant of the consequences.
The next evening I hear gunfire for real, and...
I hide a chip of secrets from thugs, fight a running light-gun battle, and hide in my workplace's
crawlways, amid live cables and pipes. As the factory burns, I run a gauntlet of goons. A girl
leads me into the underworld. Fires glow and mutants dance. I marry the leader of the pack.
My mom and I road-duel an alien beetle, then investigate a deepspace Marie Celeste;
then I spy for the Angevin Empire to protect the Crown Jewels...
My own fear creates a field of time/speed distortion; can I use it against my attackers?
DREAM: I'm hiking in a local preserve when a jay with a handgun shoots an owl...
A MONTH LATER: the first owls to resettle my urban county nest in a nearby park...
A MONTH LATER: they're dead. One was shot; its mate died of grief.
I see myself shoot myself. Director-me decides this isn't dramatic enough to wow audience-me, so
actor-me tries again, firing half a dozen times! Maybe suicidal imagery is how I realize no-self...
CAUTION: SEVEN BULLETS IN THE HEAD
My detective lover warned me, "Stay away!" Now I'm trapped. Dare I follow the lion over the edge?
Four women with guns attack me at a public pool. Trapped in the water, can I survive? Only by being ruthless...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE
A giantess strides across the desert. The Great White Hunter fires his elephant gun,
but the books she's made of stop his bullets. I think I'll join the Queen Kong Library...
I face two gunmen fleeing an invasion of dragons I support--since inside I'm a dragon. But I won't hurt them. Why?
DREAMS: 1: I can't afford language classes. 2: A beautyqueen rigs a stargate; I kill monsters & sell their bones...
NEXT DAY: I'm asked "Why don't you get a language degree?" I can't afford it! I go home & watch Dr Who...
A stunning girl fixes a spacetime portal. Smugglers kill alien monsters & sell their ashes as a drug...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE AND CREEPY DISPOSAL OF BODIES
Nightmare: flying saucers attack, and I only have a squirt gun to fight back with!
Next day I see the Simpsons Halloween special. Lisa Simpson has a nightmare...
A crazy security guard with a squirt gun full of acid kills
freely over and over, for the court system keeps paroling...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE
Yuppies with a lighter set me on fire--not even out of malice, just idly.
I'm a shaman, I can survive it, but I'm not immune to pain...
CAUTION: NIGHTMARE, UGLY POLITICAL COMPARISONS
When I was being battered, I dreamed where it would end
if I didn't leave: dead wife, shot husband...
CAUTION: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
I distract a mad gunman in a crowd. I suspect I'm dreaming, but it still seems a bit too noble...
CAUTION: DON'T TRY THIS ON CRAZED KILLERS AT HOME
A man frames his big brother, til their sister makes him shoot his own reflection. Neither one expects...
DREAM: chased by a sniper, I trick him into blowing himself up. Then, in the Watchtower,
I know every name & address in Shropshire, but must hide them till all the snipers are caught...
NEXT DAY: at work I run across a book with every name and address in 17th-century Shropshire...
CAUTION: FATAL EXPLOSION
Jung and a little brown man shoot down Siegfried the German Hero, riding his chariot of bones. Wait... his what?
CAUTION: GRIM
A cigar-smoking tyrannosaur moves into our neighborhood,
upsetting us bluebirds and vampire bats. So we...
Two child prodigies fail to stop the killers stalking President Obama, but a geek with a homemade laser...
I'm Sybil Sue, a hard-boiled shapeshifting shamus, on the track
of the most wanted bankrobbers in LA: the Bad Girls...
CAUTION: IN BETWEEN GUNSHOTS, THE BAD GIRLS SWEAR
I'm a boy from a Southwestern tribe whose rite of passage is a bike race.
I wear a jasper pendant with mysterious powers...
Gunmen held me hostage in a grand hall; at last they shot me. Next day: the Moscow Theater hostages...
I dreamed I checked my neighbor's flat for prowlers; I got shot and fell out a window. The same night
my neighbor dreamt she asked me to check her flat, I got shot and fell out a window; the same night
her best friend dreamt she came by and saw from street level the gunmen and my fall out the window...
CAUTION: VIOLENT ATTACK FROM THREE VIEWPOINTS
I provoke a shooting! Wandering through time, I forget how much some cultures fear witches...
As a toddler I repeatedly dreamed I was a married adult with a daughter
of my own, but the dreams always ended with my husband shooting me...
CAUTION: RECURRENT MURDER
Tuba Man plays from the top of a tower, even when Loveless Man opens fire; for music is life to him...
1: I failed to save a magic tree. It fell and killed someone. I'm racked with guilt...
2: A giant pinball game on a tilted oval relief-map. But you can only win as a team of six friends...
3: A Caribbean girl with a weird aura tries to align two magic crystals to heal herself...
CAUTION: BREASTS, MY LITTLE PONY AS ROLEMODEL
As a boy I dreamt of a war; officers marked the landing-spot of an unexploded black sphere. Years later...
In our cult, we lie in vats of goo till we grow wings. But we’re feared more than we knew...
CAUTION: SPECIST LYNCH MOB, NUDE IN SCHOOL, LESBIAN FEELINGS, OBSCENE CARROT
Half-mad with fear, I massacre a cult, till my gun manifests stigmata: a gory miracle.
Then I'm a cultist, resisting the Voice of God pushing all us mortals to murder in His name.
I woke up haunted, and wondered for weeks what this was about... until the Waco Massacre.
CAUTION: CREEPY VIOLENCE, CREEPY GOD, CREEPY PREDICTION
George Washington faces sniper fire, kamikaze birds
and critics claiming the fight for freedom is doomed...
1940s reporters almost trap me in a mob shootout. I shelter in a gender-segregated hotel.
The owner of Wharton Tower shakes the hotel so it swings between its butch & femme halves.
I fall off the Hudson Palisades, but I land safely on the Glass Ceiling...
Swedenborg fights a monster but lacks strength. Yet later, on a higher plane, he learns the beast did die...
CAUTION: VIOLENT
DAY: I work way too much--art projects plus helping a friend get her lost data back...
DREAM: A gun nut threatens me, so I claim I bent his gun. Really I just bent spacetime.
He flees atop his toy car, letting it steer--it's smarter than he is. That car winks at me...
DREAM: I witness a murder on a farm. So I hide in the fields as assault-gun bullets fly...
NEXT DAY: I go see a love story set on a farm. But suddenly killers show up
to eliminate a witness to a murder. Assault rifles in the cornfields...
CAUTION: VIOLENCE & APPARENT E.S.P.
I was fatally wounded in a Star Wars battle, so I shot myself in the head.
For a solid minute, there was nothing but blackness...