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DEANNA ON THE MAYAN STEPS

Dreamed 1992/7/8 by Chris Wayan

"What does a woman WANT?"
--Sigmund Freud

I was lost in a dreamdark wood,
But Deanna Troy walked by me.
Counselor of the Enterprise,
Half human, half child of a tree.
On her breast's an amulet
Carved of her own mother's wood.

Emboldened by her empathy,
I sought a long-viewed clearing.
Whose woods these are, I'll know!
Soul-orienteering.

Dolmens leaned. We found a Mayan stair
Snaking up through lichen-stones.
A pyramid, but the glyphs too fresh,
Too Disney to be true.
I mused as we neared the temple's peak
"Civilian Conservation Corps?"
The altar floated in sequoia-heads
Squinting, kind, and gnarled as Popeye.
Above, gray cliffs, engraved on mist
Like a Doré halftone dream.
At last I knew where we wandered! For
my Dante wood was Yosemite's floor.
Scar of a glacier's scour!

A quiet man was there.
I felt a senseless fear.
As I told Deanna, he turned and smiled
And groped in his bag for the gun.
I knew. I knew. The blow went through...

I burst out to a tangled bed,
Only a journal by me,
Blurred in the dim dawn.
Deanna and killer together--gone.
Fool. Fool! What I might have learned,
With Deanna the empath to read his heart!
But I let him shoot me back to the world
to keep his sack of secrets dark.

I woke so righteous. Murderer!
But later, less and less felt sure.
Why feel a bullet, yet hear no gun?
Was I numb from shock?
Or did my own terror knock me un,
before he could... talk?

Ultimatum? Compromise? Warning, challenge, rant?
Freud never asked, but it hits me bullet-blunt--
What does a nightmare want?



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