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XANTHE'S TUNNEL

Dreamed 1999/6/11 by Chris Wayan

I'm in my late teens, white, female, queer, living in San Francisco. It's a rare hot day here, so I'm out in Golden Gate Park. I'm watching some friends play softball on a field nestled between huge mounds of dirt and slash and wood chips (the park's being renovated). Trees border and half-hide the mounds.

Some cute women on one team! I'm not playing--I'm not into playing ball, just balling players. I plan to do some serious flirting with them after the game. I wore a really short dress to show off my legs (my breasts aren't much). Stretch out and enjoy the sun--the morning fog faded to just a few wisps. Nice. Map of tunnels in a woodchip mound in Golden Gate Park; a dream by Wayan

Everyone plays funny--with one eye to the cameras broadcasting it all, not on the ball.

A guy protests some aspect of the game, politicizes it. But he doesn't really care about the issue--he was hired to do this, and only wants money and exposure. He's directed to run across the field, disrupting the game. I chase him, trying to sabotage the saboteurs' script! But it turns out they planned his escape too... he runs to the mound and just vanishes!

I find a big pipe or narrow tunnel leading into the mound of woodchips and dirt. Peer in. He's silhouetted against daylight--the tunnel goes straight through. Dark, a bit scary, but no real danger. I crawl in after the guy.

But the saboteurs distract me with some loud drama off in a side tunnel. Makes me too nervous to go deeper, outnumbered. I don't want to get jumped, especially with no witnesses.

So I back out and walk around the mound instead--easy enough, there's a perfectly good path... but once I calm down I wonder why they went to such trouble to detour me.

Was something important in that main tunnel--the straight tunnel?

NOTES

THE NEXT DAY

My friend Xanthe calls to tell me a weird dream she had the same night! The final scene:

"I led my mother into a cave. We could see daylight through the other end. I felt ready to enter, but my mom was afraid..."
The parallel is just too close! I think I picked up Xanthe's dream, and dreamed a comment on it. So my spooky tunnel with the light at the end may mean owning up to the fact I'm PSYCHIC, not gay. Way more disorienting than mere sexual confusion! (But equally good for upsetting your mom.)

Though... the straight tunnel may have a third, simpler meaning, one the dream shows me physically, by contrasting it with twisty side tunnels and detours and media-driven ulterior motives...being straight as in direct. Blunt. Honest.

I think the dream says I have to come out of the closet on ESP. Not easy or comfortable in this rationalist age. But necessary, for honesty. And to force me to make the analogy, the dream put me in the body of a San Francisco sports dyke--so I'd have to think of a more familiar kind of coming out, one any San Franciscan would recognize.

a tunnel thru a woodchip mound by a baseball field in Golden Gate Park; a dream sketch by Wayan


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