I'm conference-calling (audio but no video) with some acquaintances, talking about problems arising in therapy. Someone describes a pattern they've seen. I confess I do it myself: "I'm over-compliant. I agree too much with my therapist. I feel that she's gone a lot of trouble of thinking about me, so I'm obliged to her--as if it's not her paid job but an act of friendship & generosity to think of worthless me at ALL! So I'll agree to stuff I don't believe. Though I usually don't realize I've done it till later. My job right now, I think, isn't to fight compliance but just to catch it faster. Spot it before you can fight it!"

Next Morning

What I blurted in the dream is kind of true. But I can't see why it came up today. I saw no therapist, and didn't comply with what anyone said that I recall...

I give up on trying to figure out that dream, and resume an ongoing, long-term project--to transcribe old journals from the 1980s. Today I turn the page and find this dream:

Compliant Stallion (1984/12/20)

A film crew is out in the woods. Ponderosa pines. Dusty, hot. The film's a fantasy Western; one character's a centaur. He's depicted by a rider (who'll be edited out later) on a horse with a fake human head on a flexy pole anchored to the horse's neck. The centaur head's hideous--like a gaunt Howdy Doody puppet. It's just a placeholder for animation in the final film, but it needs to have the right placement and body language. The horse and trainer have to be experienced movie performers--even though their faces won't be seen.

But the horse is thirsty. Fidgets. The rider gives him a break; they both go wade in the creek. But when the horse bends his head down to drink, he sees his own penis. Tries to reach it, and is so cat-flexible he can! The stallion starts licking himself! His cock swells huge...

But this curled-up sexual position twists Howdy Doody On A Stick forward into the drink. Plus, their five minutes are almost up. And the centaur will have a giant erection for who knows how long--one more thing, a big embarrassing thing, the effects crew will have to erase. So his human handler snaps to the stallion "Quit suckin' yourself off and get back to work!"

He disturbs me. Not for auto-fellation. For over-compliance.

Notes Next Morning

Now my 2021 dream looks like cryptomnesia--unconscious access to detailed memories consciously long-forgotten. My dreams seem to know every dream I had 36 years ago--in exact order.

And this incident wasn't unique; the night before (2021/1/8) I dreamt of two lions stalking me and woke sure they were really "lyin's", falsehoods harming me--and then I got up and transcribed the next page in my 1984 journal: a vivid dream that ended with two lions my notes interpret as "lyin"s--same pun, 36 years earlier.

Cryptomnesia dredging up such detail from decades past may seem unlikely, but what's the alternative--coincidence? These weren't common dream themes--when did you last dream of the word "overcompliance" or a lion/lyin pun? But don't worry! You have a third choice: you can postulate ESP seeing an event--my transcribing--one day in the future, instead of 36 years in the past. Hey, it's shorter-term.

Take your pick. Even if they're all hard to, er, swallow (erk! sorry.)

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