Sunbathe on a deck chair. Trace of guilt: "Acting like a rich girl--spoiled, obsessed with mere appearances. Unfeminist." I roast pleasantly and baste. In pool, Martini Mom spins her daughter a tale untrue. She, wise, calls Mom on her lies; into silence dives. A guy I know from work, named Guy, comes by. I'm short with looming Him; don't like his... thigh. Time for witchy sunscreen. Spread gel I moonlit-brewed of resin-sap: dread spell spurring cell-growth--letting me remold my face, skull, brain. Expand my frontal lobe (hi, third eye!) Make stronger cheekbones--I know I need more cheek: embarrassingly shy. This gel attracts flies like guys. Be patient; swat. The price to change is high; but I'd be crazy not.

NOTES IN THE MORNING

• Indulgence is shallow? A fake-feminist nag inside me thinks indulgence, rest, even deep makeovers are beautyist, shallow... shameful! Feh.
• Mom & kid in pool: an unsubtle hint I still have more parental lies to expose (already amassed a mighty heap). But the child--me?--is quick to catch this one.
• Daughter dives deep in the pool: into dreamwork! The Pool of Dreams is deeper and honester than Mom. True blue!
• Guy: a real guy from work I wasn't fond of--tall, into guy stuff, and yes, named Guy.
• Forehead: a third eye & prefrontal lobes--that is, intuition and conscious judgment! My dream thinks self-indulgence sharpens both?
• Cheekbones: maybe glamor, but I suspect something sassier: "cheek" in the British slang sense--nerve, chutzpah.
• ACTION: Indulge! Rest, sun, and self-indulgence aren't vices. They boost my judgment, intuition... and defiance.

2022 NOTE

I wrote the dream down but then forgot it. 34 years later I found it, and took it to Catshall's poetry salon in Oakland, where she challenged us to write ghazals. What came out was this. Not even ghazalish. But fun.

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