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Robot Dreams

Dreamed 1985/2/5 by Chris Wayan

I'm back in high school. But this time, I'm not a geek. Worse. I'm a robot.

I do study how to be human. I keep a journal. Odd images come to me, constantly. I notice recurring ones and list them. A tomato, a bolt with a hex nut. You'd think the one good thing about being a robot is that your thoughts would make sense...

I sit out in the quad and watch girls. So pretty! But I'm not sure if I have a penis any more. Am I Robot Boy or Robot Girl? Or worse, neuter? Afraid to peer in my jeans and see.

Someone offers me a drink, but just in time, I recall the circuitry inside... Zzzzt! Not a good idea.

That night, I have my very first dream. I'm not built to, but I did! I'm as excited as a robot can get--it's the first proof of progress, in my struggle to become human.

On the other hand, the actual content wasn't just vague, but disappointing. No, insulting. That stupid tomato and bolt again! AGGGGH! Don't I have any imagination? Dream image: a ripe tomato and a hex nut floating in a void of midnight blue

My soul, behind the robot self, thinks "But that IS wise advice, the message is there! See the change in the tomato? It looked plastic before. It's RIPE now! And the bolt in the dream, it was really a bolt and a nut linked to a whirly arm.., in fact, a whole little device of some kind! I wonder what?" Because that's how dreamwork works. Seedlings take time to grow--time and attention.

But that's just my soul talking. Like anyone listens to him!

Robot-me? He's listening all right. But not for the mere voice of my soul! He wants more than a tomato and a nut. He wants the voice of God, out of a burning bush.

Or at least a burning bushing.

2001 NOTE

Ignoring the nuts and bolts of dreams?
You want the tomato before it's ripe.
Hungry for substance, you swallow hype.
My rap is lame, but that's the point of my game.
Quit eatin' your toe jam, and dream with the program:
the slow and the no-glam.
Cuz that's the only way (it seems) to stop the pogrom...
Their slow-mo, kill-the-dreamers pogrom.

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