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Blundering Linda

Dreamed 1987/7/12 by Wayan

Witch plays a keyboard with green fish-fins. Dream sketch by Wayan. Click to enlarge.


Certain experimental musicians can create synthetic realities, not just sounds. One, who wears a big pointy hat and calls herself a Witch, is unpopular in the synth community; I admit I have a low opinion of her too. Why, she plays her synth with the flaps down! All quality keyboards have huge fish-fin flaps on the sides, and they shape the output a lot... by ignoring them, sticking to the keys alone, she limits her creativity to pure music. How retro!

Everyone tells me "You should look for a better role model than the Witch."

My own reality synth is strange too, though. It spontaneously changes shape--loses its fins, loses its keys, grows legs, arms, a face... becomes a life-size puppet with padded cloth skin. Look like big pillows dressed in clothes, with a mask-face--but as the changes firm up, it becomes a beautiful girl--slender and amazingly well-made for a giant beanbag doll!

Strange feeling--she's nearly as heavy as a human. Weighted inside by the intricate synth-circuits making her self-aware.

I stroke her disturbingly real-feeling skin. I feel turned on.

And... pull down her pants. Anatomically complete...

Am I really about to fuck a pillow-person? And if so, how? Wouldn't it be the dryest of dry humps? I better think it out now, because later on, when I'm really turned on, I know I won't be able to think. I get even stupider than most guys--utterly overwhelmed by sex. Just so intimate.

The Amiga doll opens her eyes and smiles at me. She likes being petted. Especially down in the bass where you get that throb...

Suddenly the synth-witch bursts in. She takes one look and blurts "Ooh, an Amiga! She's hot! You initiating her? Can... can I join you?"

The Witch doesn't even wait to ask, just peels her clothes off. She has long black hair and is pretty cute, really. A little plump--not much exercise in our synth community, too much time indoors at the keyboard--most of us are either outright fat, or bony like me.

Amiga the synth-girl is turning realer--wooden bones and joints now. Though she's still limp--muscles undeveloped. She's alert now--awake. As we undress and examine her, she watches back with interest of her own. There's a silent three-way agreement to be lovers! She still can't move on her own, but she'll gradually grow muscles, and for now she's happy to try sex as the passive partner.

We try to arrange her comfortably. My witch-friend helps, lends me some heavy string. I hope it's strong enough so she doesn't pop loose and fall off the bed. We tie her ankles to the bed-corners, legs spread, so she's a big slim wishbone shape on my bed. Witch helps eagerly, as excited as I am. Amiga on the bed is feeling hot too; tied like this, we can drive her crazy and she can't stop us--safe to thrash around and yell as much as she likes, practice her new, growing power to move...

Dream sketch by Wayan. Click to enlarge.
Just one fly in the bondage soup. The whole time, I worry obsessively that our little orgy will get interrupted: some stranger named Linda will blunder in and spoil it, I just know! Sexual anxieties aren't rare, but who the hell has phobias like this? So specific.. so stupid.

And I wake.

NOTES IN THE MORNING

As I finish writing the dream down (with a throbbing erection), I hear a woman's voice calling "Keith?" outside my bedroom door! I get up and check. A stranger! She found our side door unlocked, and just barged in. Turns out she's looking for her son--my housemate Liz's boyfriend.

I ask her name. "Linda." But you knew that.



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