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CHIMP FINAL

Dreamed 1984/5/19 by Chris Wayan


I nervously enter the apartment high above the city. It's painted blue, this time.

My final, at last! So tired of just studying chimp behavior.

Now, I'll BECOME a chimp. Or flunk.

I know the proper mindset, and I do my best to get into it. I take the container full of blue granules and spill it, shrieking manically. Hey, is that lecithin or soap? Taste it. Hm... soap. Better smear it all over. Now for the furniture...

When I hear the chimp researchers unlocking the door at last, I wedge myself high up on a ledge above the door and drop on them, laughing and flailing away. They look around, then at me, in silent disappointment. And I know--before they speak.

I've flunked my chimp final.

It's no secret why. I barely wrecked a thing! Just made a mess. My heart just wasn't in it.

ALL primates love trashing things! What's WRONG with me? First the midterm, now this.

I'm gonna lose my scholarship if I can't raise my GTA. And I can't. I gave it my best, and it wasn't enough.

NOTE IN THE MORNING

I knew three things when I woke:



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