I'm James Bond. Captured and questioned, I lie to the enemy: the senators of the
Committee on Intelligence Activities. Till I see myself through their eyes...
CAUTION: SPY SEX, SPY MENTALITY
Princess Chinchilla and I use an umbrella to escape the Wizard. Now to escape the Dream Researchers!...
I'm in school on a chimp scholarship and it's time for my final exam...
My little sisters tell the detectives, "Daddy's ghost has
a message for you" but at first they don't listen...
FERRY: the crossing is rough, but I'm warned I must find my own sea-legs...
BUZZ OFF: I step into a family photo, but I'm not welcome in the past...
Dancers in weird costumes from around the world audition for a contest, but
the judge lets them all in, from silly to obscene. Next day, on Doctor Who...
CAUTION: POSSIBLY PREDICTIVE; CERTAINLY EMBARRASSING
After trespassing in a staff-only part of Faerie, I'm cast out.
Only I'm cast like a seed, meant to grow a new elf circle...
In school, I'm seen as a freak--lied to, set up for little pranks. Not just by my classmates--my teachers...
My classmates stole my pen. My teacher condones it. I am, after all, a hated minority.
They won't even SELL me one. So I write my final in blood--three huge, crude letters...
A Star Trek future. Our experimental ship is hijacked by illusionists, with us aboard...
The two commonest sexual orientations have no names, or even concepts! Yet they're obvious, once...
CAUTION: THE TRUTH THAT DARE NOT BE TOLD
An Oxford teaching assistant sexually blackmails one of his law students, but to his shock she goes public...
During our final exam, my second sight tells me our dance teacher's really
a Greek goddess in disguise. But she has her own final exam to face...
I'm an initiate in a Sung Dynasty monastery. But I have no idea how far the hazing can go...
CAUTION: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME
Captain Ahab's part-whale students are better ice wranglers than I'll ever be--
wrestling icebergs of possibility round to their best outcomes, in this pea-soup sea...
I volunteer for a friend's psych test, for her thesis. But my sixth sense skews her data! Does it skew real life too?
The State tests my art. I worry they'll stereotype me as another Crumb.
So I tell an absurd lie about our governor. But my joke kinda makes sense...
Phyllis Schlafly, killer of the Equal Rights Amendment, provokes a dream of being Captain Kirk
trapped in a magic school with no way out but the graduate exam. Can I learn the lesson of the tree?
CAUTION: POLITICAL JOURNALISM BEFORE THE DREAM. OH NO!
I befriend author Andre Norton--an ageless high-school kid writing enthused fan fiction, forever...
I find my Niche--the stone nook that decides if I'm a journeyman mage! Here comes my prophecy...
To enter the House of Dusk, I must say what haunts the Pass. Even if I guess right, do I really understand?
ALYSE dreams Tim drives a motorcycle-book up a hill, but she doesn't LIKE riding so fast...
TIM dreams a wise woman tested him, but found him unqualified to play teacher to Alyse...
DREAM: on a Nevada ranch, I'm a were-horse into mares--when I'm human. And when I'm a stallion?
Why, cowgirls! Always date the wrong species--just to be sure of rejection.
NEXT DAY: I let a class of commercial artists critique my dream-comix. Just to be sure of rejection...
CAUTION: FURRYPHILIA, SELF-SABOTAGE
As I bike home at night, strange doings--a rat is sacrificed; gemstones delivered;
an astronaut shows glowing alien objects; a second rat becomes a... firefighter?
Humans and elves like me can get along, but not oni (Japanese demons)--they'll hurt anyone for gain...
CAUTION: POLITICAL BITTERNESS
Martial-arts student Parvati just won't fight the teacher she loves (too much!)--
not even for her final exam. Instead she gets a rotary saw and...
I face the Quickstep, the final test for high-level ice dancing. I do well, yet the judges fail me--for trivia. Then I realize
I passed this test years ago! These judges are my nitpicking inner critics. I ignore them, and joyfully soar, spin and fly...
An underage girl comes on to me, and begs me to... throw her down a stairwell?!
CAUTION: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!
ESP? Weird luck? Subliminal perception? Whatever it is, it kicked me right out of a bad day...
In a world where speech is in Mayan glyphs, comedian Tina Fey (dressed for prom night)
climbs a Tibetan peak to learn levitation. But the flying monks are scared of women...
CAUTION: COOTIES; ROWDY JESUS; MAY FLUNK THE BECHDEL TEST
I dreamed I had to take a bewildering test on who is allowed in the military. I flunked. So will you...
CAUTION: MOCKS HOMOPHOBES
I walk in a vast graveyard full of history's most famous
people and treasures. But it's all fake, built to test your...
DAY: the crew of the Enterprise sings about love & career(ism). DREAM: I'm taking a test at Starfleet Academy.
But my teacher's a gorgeous unicorn, & my answers are filled in! I try to change one but my eraser breaks...
CAUTION: MOCKS LA BERGE'S LUCID DREAMWORK? NUDE PROFESSOR, TOO
Captain Kirk is testing vampire myths on a world where they don't bleed you dry.
At the moment, three vamps are sitting in a tent in a sunny meadow, queasy but alive...
CAUTION: FINANCIAL VAMPIRES?
I'm a girljock waiting to see a movie when a weredog in line involuntarily shifts
from dog to human, and a Berkeley radical takes offense at the symbolism...
CAUTION: SNIPPY ABOUT POLITICAL CORRECTNESS
I'm lecturing to a crowd: "Love's a win-win game, and abuse, lose-lose. But blame is zero-sum..."
My mild yuppie friend Lou climbs a bank tower to reach his rich mentor,
and wins an internship. But as he swears his oath to Get Rich Quick...
CAUTION: DISSES CUTTHROAT CAPITALISM