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A Craigslist Bargain

Dreamed 2006/10/1 by Wayan

I dream I'm a Vietnamese kid growing up in Pacifica, just south of San Francisco--dramatic sea cliffs, foggy hills, suburban boxes, malls. It's more scenic than "Colma: the Musical", but a lot like that. Claustrophobic, as only the burbs can be. Especially when you have chronic worriers for parents. They're driving me crazy.

At last, I put an ad on Craigslist, offering to sell my parents "for best offer"--with no minimum! Five bucks and they're yours. A matched set, hardly any scratches!

I'm just venting, openly sarcastic, but... the next day, a cop shows up at our house! She seems to think I'm some kind of immigration-smuggler, selling people into slavery--maids, gardeners? But she can see I'm just a kid, and the ad's such an obvious joke... so for quite a while I figure she's putting me on right back, taking a break from her serious calls.

So I tell her "No, no, I'm not selling them as slaves, just as surplus items. Use them as bookends, I don't care. Just get them off my hands."

But it turns out she MEANS it! She's on the verge of arresting me. Wow, if my ad could have been real, she must meet evil assholes every day. And I thought my family was bad!

I'll put a minimum bid on the next ad.



I meet my Pacifica friend at a New Year's party. She tells me she's...

  1. studying to become one of the first female FBI agents
  2. hoping to work right in Pacifica, using her cultural and language skills
  3. been having detailed dreams of her future career: going to local houses, sensing danger
  4. wondering if her dreams are predictive--warnings about specific dangers she'll face. They're so clear and practical that sounds plausible...
Now I wonder if my own dream was clairvoyant--at the time I was sure it couldn't be about my friend because she's not Vietnamese. Now I wonder if she wasn't the kid but the cop, as seen through this kid's eyes. A kid she may meet someday, a kid who can't even imagine the seriousness of the federal cases my friend will have to handle... right there in innocent, suburban Pacifica.

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