I BLUSH TO REPORT
Both dreamed 1986/12/11 by Chris Wayan
A SKIN PROBLEM
I go to a new doctor to be treated for allergies, but when I arrive all I can talk about are the horrible skin spots I've developed. I'm scared. Are they cancer?
"Oh, those. Well, I'll have to run a test to be conclusive, but I'm fairly confident that's not melanoma, but mildew."
Now I notice some of them are on my clothes and pillow, not just my skin. He's right. I'm not a cancer victim.
Just an unbelievable slob.
BIG AND TALL
So I drive home, but on the way I pass the hill with our local water tower. On its slope, curled up in the chaparral, is a giantess, sleeping. A small crowd at the base is gawking with binoculars. I stop and step out of the car. When she breathes, I can hear the sagebrush crackling as it snaps.
It's hard to judge her size, but one hip rises higher than me. I can't imagine how tall she'd be, uncoiled and stretching.
Some guy says "Man, her panties must weigh half a ton!"
A woman mutters "I wonder where she buys them?" I wonder why this woman cares. She's fat, but not fat enough to wear THOSE clothes. Camp in them, maybe.
But it's a good question--is there a Big and Tall store THAT big? Maybe a whole Mall of the Giants! Wow, think of the savings on bulk items!
But I don't care, because I'm out of gas. I couldn't go shop there anyway.
A NOTE YEARS LATER
Stupid, stupid dreams! Or are they? Turns out these two lame-joke dreams hid serious warnings.
And she was me. I was a child prodigy myself, academically brilliant but helpless in the human world. Suburban schools and businesses had absolutely no place for me.
And the dream suggests why I drifted. Out of gas! My severe allergies left me chronically tired... and passive. I might have found some more supportive subculture, but I just lacked the energy to hunt. The dream warned my health problems isolated me so much my talents were being wasted.
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