A SKIN PROBLEM

I go to a new doctor to be treated for allergies, but when I arrive all I can talk about are the horrible skin spots I've developed. I'm scared. Are they cancer?

"Oh, those. Well, I'll have to run a test to be conclusive, but I'm fairly confident that's not melanoma, but mildew."

Now I notice some of them are on my clothes and pillow, not just my skin. He's right. I'm not a cancer victim.

Just an unbelievable slob.

BIG AND TALL

So I drive home, but on the way I pass the hill with our local water tower. On its slope, curled up in the chaparral, is a giantess, sleeping. A small crowd at the base is gawking with binoculars. I stop and step out of the car. When she breathes, I can hear the sagebrush crackling as it snaps.

It's hard to judge her size, but one hip rises higher than me. I can't imagine how tall she'd be, uncoiled and stretching.

Some guy says "Man, her panties must weigh half a ton!"

A woman mutters "I wonder where she buys them?" I wonder why this woman cares. She's fat, but not fat enough to wear THOSE clothes. Camp in them, maybe.

But it's a good question--is there a Big and Tall store THAT big? Maybe a whole Mall of the Giants! Wow, think of the savings on bulk items!

But I don't care, because I'm out of gas. I couldn't go shop there anyway.

A NOTE YEARS LATER

Stupid, stupid dreams! Or are they? Turns out these two lame-joke dreams hid serious warnings.

1. I had severe allergies, and was getting expensive and stressful shots for them. But it turned out simple house dust and certain foods were half the problem--if I just cleaned my damn room and avoided wheat, I could kiss the doctors goodbye.
2. That giant was sleeping just behind a house in my neighborhood I visited just once--the home of a child prodigy. The giant is PHYSICALLY what this kid was MENTALLY. The moderately gifted (the "Big and Tall") may find specialty niches to fit into, but some minds are just too big to fit--they don't benefit from human structures at all! Effectively homeless. The neighbors all gawk and make petty jokes... which IS how the normal react to the severely gifted.

   And she was me. I was a child prodigy myself, academically brilliant but helpless in the human world. Suburban schools and businesses had absolutely no place for me.

   And the dream suggests why I drifted. Out of gas! My severe allergies left me chronically tired... and passive. I might have found some more supportive subculture, but I just lacked the energy to hunt. The dream warned my health problems isolated me so much my talents were being wasted.

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