THAT DAY

I'm limping around. My foot hurts. I thought it was sympathetic pain, because my housemate Lily has been having serious foot trouble, an aftershock from childhood polio. But she's been out of town a month on vacation, and my arch still hurts.

Our housemate Dari comes back from her friend's Los Angeles wedding. She doesn't want to talk about it much, but I gently tease it out of her. I'm not sure why, but I want the story.

The setting was informal, on the beach, but Dari thought the crowd was pretentious. "ALL the women wore little black minidresses and dyed their hair blonde. The bride has beautiful long black hair, but she dyed it blonde too, for the wedding. Now she looks like a Barbie doll."

Dari thought the bride gave up and settled for the first tolerable man. They have NOTHING in common! She's an artist, with exquisite taste and a high IQ. He's a staunch Republican of resoundingly ordinary intelligence... Once the honeymoon glow fades, it sounds doomed.

I can't help picturing myself there, trying to land one of these beautiful blondes, rescuing a gifted gorgeous artist from a conservative lump... only who'd want me? Poor, sick, limping around...

THAT NIGHT

I'm limping around the set of a new opera that's being filmed. It's a modernization of a Greek play, with gods in robes and all. The actors wear animal-head masks, because the play was set in Egypt, has Egyptian gods--an exotic locale to the ancient Greeks, though the two cultures look similar to us: both polytheistic, full of stone columns and robes and myths of animal people...

The ingenue is the Firebird, from Russian legend. She's blonde, wears a songbird-head mask, and sings a lot. I dutifully fall in love with her, though the mask limits her expressiveness and hides her face. The Egyptian-looking brunettes playing the Anubis Twins are at least as attractive, even with their jackal heads, which look kind of cute--big eyes and ears as expressive as their real faces. And they're witty. Is Anubis the god of smartasses?

The Firebird's just the nominal star though, the ingenue. The real hero is the Captain of the Enterprise, played by Whoopi Goldberg. Plump, dumpy and maskless--I guess her funny face and big hat are supposed to be mask enough. The lone mortal among all these gods and legends--though with a starship to back her up, she's a match for most of these old, limited gods.

Whoopi wants to protect her friend Firebird from the Minotaur. A hard job, since the Minotaur's now a god, with allies, and intends to marry Firebird whether she likes him or not. He comes in singing, a tall thin Nordic man with no mask, just Viking cow-horns, and a helmet of buttery hair over icy eyes. He has two attendants, both delicate blondes who look like sisters. Very sexy sisters, even if they are servants to the Minotaur. What's he need Firebird for, anyway? The twins are to die for! Maybe literally, if that Viking's possessive. Scary guy...

All their robes are very short, like white minidresses with colored astrological and mathematical symbols: spirals for galaxies, arrows for vectors, moons for wizardry. The colors are way too bright, they look sixties, more Peter Max than Greco-Egyptian. I enjoy the sexiness--goddesses have great legs--but it makes the whole thing too cute.

"Cut, dammit!" yells Whoopi. End of scene. It isn't going well. They're all just mouthing their lines like old quotes. The cameraman's levitating chair/light/camera rig descends, and Whoopi confers with him. It's Geordi LaForge, the chief engineer on the starship Enterprise. And these aren't the only ones: as they lift their masks to confer, ALL the actors turn out to be from various Star Trek shows. Turns out this Greek play is inside a Star Trek episode--the Star Trek crew's mission is to fly around as cultural ambassadors--filming themselves doing bad opera for aliens. Hmm, culture, huh?

La Forge says diplomatically "Well.. it was better in Galaxy 2 and 3." I feel a little shock: they're not roaming the galaxy, but OUTSIDE it? Touring the galaxies? What a road trip!

Then I realize I'm acting too. My foot injury is part of my role, not me!

And as soon as I drop my character, I can walk free.

• Masked Greek play by Trekkies = in my teens I saw a Film Canada production of OEDIPUS or ANTIGONE, in classic Greek style: verse, robes, masks. When the credits rolled, I was startled to learn William Shatner was in it! Before his Star Trek gig. Couldn't see his face, under those masks, though you'd think I'd know that voice...
• Short garish robes = the LA wedding Dari thought was tacky.
• Twin Barbie doll servants versus the smart, independent Anubis Twins = the bride's Blonde Bimbo act, versus her real self--smart and brunette.
• Firebird, masked = also the bride? Made herself an inexpressive Barbie doll! Or is she like Dari and me--an innocent?
• Minotaur and Viking = Not just that Republican groom Dari's friend is marrying. I see most men as Minotaurs and Vikings--as brutes. Am I seeing through biased eyes, though? Big bad man makes poor innocent little girl marry him! She's a grownup and she chose him. I may be crippling my own power, flinching away from acting strong, because I think women are too fragile to take the real me...
• Whoopi, captain of Enterprise =
  1. 1: I feel ashamed of my looks, think I'm ugly. But Whoopi, who started out in San Francisco's improv scene, is unapologetic about her non-Hollywood looks and style.
  2. 2: Today I acted like Whoopi's character on Star Trek, Guinan--a master at drawing people out. Dari is a stoic Kansas girl who doesn't spill her feelings, yet I coaxed out her doubts about this marriage... Like Guinan, like Whoopi, I have something better than looks. I listen.
• LaForge, filming the drama = me writing my dreams!
• My sore foot's part of my role = a warning! My injury IS the result of behavior or attitude.

Just remember what's out there--singing Firebirds, and wise ugly mentors, and blondes to free from Minotaurs, and weird but cute Anubis Twins...

All I have to do is drop my role as cripple... and join the dance.

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