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JULIE'S DATING AD

Dreamed 1999/10/24 by Chris Wayan

I meet a girl named Julie, a real charmer. We hit it off and I go to her house and we talk for a couple of hours. Promise to meet again a day or two later.

Later that day I go to my dating service, where my gym is. It's relatively personal, not online. I like the receptionist, who's the real nerve-center of the operation. She's everyone's unofficial coach--at least she always tells me what's going on. Today she says "Your ad's criteria were so broad they only excluded a few women out of thousands. You HAVE to raise your standards, narrow it down!" It's the opposite of the advice she gives most people, who only want a tall thin zillionaire with a red sports car and giant breasts...

They have an Ad Of The Week that she's required to tell all the clients about... tedious for her. But this week, it's hilarious. An insanely demanding ad--this woman only wants tall, rich, gorgeous, green-eyed, well-dressed men who'll bring her flowers and chocolates and so on down a long, ridiculous list. The punch line is, it's working. All the guys are competing to be the one out of thousands to meet her crazy standards.

The odd thing is, her name is also Julie, and all the details she gives about herself match the Julie I just made a date with! Who was easygoing and just seemed to want someone nice and relaxed. I think they're the same woman, and I have a good chance--because I know the ad is just an arbitrary filter.

I tell the secretary "I think I met her by accident. You won't believe this but... I'm dating her!"

I know the story will intrigue the receptionist, and I think she's cute herself--I'm half flirting with her by dangling this evidence I'm such a catch even the fabulous Julie will date me.

When the truth is, Julie'd date anyone breathing--if they just treated her nice.

NOTES NEXT MORNING



LISTS AND LINKS: clubs, pubs and bars - loneliness - dating advice - a singles ad that's truly honest if unprintable - another dream of Julia Roberts

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