Love Song to a Dragonsinger
a song-fragment by Chris Wayan, 1977, found in a dream-journal and finished 20 years later
Menolly is a composer whose story is told in Anne McCaffrey's books Dragonsong and Dragonsinger; she figures prominently in the The White Dragon too. A musical prodigy born in a hardscrabble know-nothing town--and family. Before she escapes, they've crippled not just her hand but her expectations. She's learned to think small. Stretching both sorts of scar tissue takes more than patience and will. It hurts.
Born in suburbia, I followed her role-model: got out, tried to undo the damage... but it's not so easy. You rub lotion into the scars, and stretch them in pain.
"Your body is the scar of your mind"
-- Yoko Ono
Menolly the singer haunted me:
Shy and wild and guilty
Then I grew up and ran away.
You flattened into juvenile pages
My claw-hands fused, and grew in,
I never finished much.
Winds of memory pluck that scar:
My heart's the hole in life's gitar.
Yes, I can spell guitar. The "gitar" is a Pernese descendant of that instrument, which Menolly plays. But names don't matter--guitar or lute or violin, the soundbox is what matters. For like a human heart, it won't work sealed up. Hearts and gitars have to be opened, and that can hurt. But you must. The hole in the heart's for resonance.
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