World Dream Bank home - add a dream - newest - art gallery - sampler - dreams by title, subject, author, date, places, names

MY PAST CHANGES SO

by Chris Wayan, 1985, reworked 1998.

"It's never too late to have a happy childhood"
or
How I climbed up from hell to happiness in seventeen stanzas.
CLING: to the rock of smile,
and all the while
deeper cracks the dome.

DOUBT: dirt in the soup;
cataract eye drift murky wrong.
Blind hound hunts your eye.

ALONE: surrounded by
Recalled cold giants,
Pain burn you dry.

BITTER: mud remain,
Salt the cut eye--
Stung, you'll see.

ANGER: blood hiss faster,
Hope a shore away but closer, vaster
Even than their universal lie.

FIGHT: the blare of rationalltheworld.
Even in your heart-root,
how foul the elders howl!

LOSE: jungles of confuse,
lime umbrellas hide
guerrilla urges from:

SCORN: napalming red
from spin-steel crabs
Smug in blue above.

FEAR: only murk
can save you now:
the clear you sought is die.

SLOW: the horrorlakes of blood
Mud the earth's so-silent mouth.
Wet lips bend; the justice-whistle rise.

HELP: as earth you fed,
Underground surge up
to you defend.

HAWKS archaic-eyed
may scream and reach to rend;
Yet you don't end.

BENT, my new eye faces in.
Persecute me, can I? Oh yes still
Neglect, belittle--but not quite kill.

BUILD cathedral, trash on can:
In the wilderness of brain,
Slow those walls expand--
but jaunty stand!

WIND huffed up the ediface
Breeds white lenses
where no cloud's been
Since all began.

RAINS on gargoyle spires
Drain down the raw-reliefs.
Scented petaled fires
are sprouting: unbeliefs.

WILD, your garden.
Slow the dreams grow.
I don't know about you, but
My past changes--so.

That is: for the abused, there are stages where being bitter or confused or avoiding or obsessive aren't character flaws but survival tactics--necessary, but only in that stage. Take the long view. Because in the long run, you can climb out of your deadly past. Given a lot of work, and time, and tolerance toward some very strange behavior. Not tolerance from others, though that helps. Tolerance from you.



LISTS AND LINKS: poems - self-defense - healing from abuse - climate change - direct action - towers - tales of the waking world - collections, concretions, accretions

World Dream Bank homepage - Art gallery - New stuff - Introductory sampler, best dreams, best art - On dreamwork - Books
Indexes: Subject - Author - Date - Names - Places - Art media/styles
Titles: A - B - C - D - E - F - G - H - IJ - KL - M - NO - PQ - R - Sa-Sh - Si-Sz - T - UV - WXYZ
Email: wdreamb@yahoo.com - Catalog of art, books, CDs - Behind the Curtain: FAQs, bio, site map - Kindred sites