I was accused of some crime I knew I didn't commit. As I knelt on both knees on the marble courtroom floor, the Judge, decked out in a British-style gray wig, pronounced me Guilty As Charged, and pounded his beautiful ivory gavel on the elaborately-engraved hickory desk. He sentenced me to 180 days. Case closed. I had failed to prove my innocence because I procrastinated instead of working on my defense.

The lawyers began to file out, and suddenly, the bailiff took out his baton and started beating the living FUCK out of me. He kept saying "Stop resisting!" as he beat me harder and harder. The more I tried to not resist him, the harder he would hit me, and the louder he would scream at me to stop resisting.

EDITOR'S NOTE

This nightmare isn't Kafka, but Krafft-Ebing (a pre-Freudian psychologist who described fantasies of total helplessness, victimization, injustice). KE fantasies let you relive the helplessness of a baby and enjoy the moral indignation of being utterly wronged. I'm as big a fan of "Ooh, those bastards!" as the next slob, but I've never achieved the purity of victimization that 37 manages here by trying so hard to obey...

Wait, maybe there is a hint of realism here, under the Krafft-Ebbing. 37 really is guilty, after all--of procrastination. Maybe the dream extrapolates the dangers if 37 keeps indulging in delay. Dull projects neglected, turned in late? Clearly the accused is resisting the system! Beat that sucka to a pulp!

I have to admit I'd like to see a nightmare where 37 fights back--win or lose, it'd be action.

--Chris Wayan

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