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TAKE STOCK OF YOUR PELVIS

Dreamed 1980/1/11 by Chris Wayan

THAT DAY

I have nonspecific pelvic inflammation--a little-known, puzzling, elusive illness, and very rare among men. Since doctors aren't much help, I've been trying to figure out what causes it. I ask my dreams' opinion.

THAT NIGHT

I'm with some friends of mine from Psychodrama--intense actor types, from intense to downright crazy. Fascinating but strange. One of them, Dan, has built a bomb shelter; he's stockpiling for World War Three. He asks "What would you stockpile? What do you value?"

Sexy Lucinda, sprawled in a wood-framed slat chair, says "Uh... clean paper? I bet it'll be valuable, after the world ends. And if not, I can always use it myself--I'm a writer."

What do I value? Well... watching Lucinda! Fascinated by her legs, which are visually sliced into strips by the wooden slats of her chair. I slowly piece together those parts and find what I thought were tan tights are bare skin: she's naked. I crane my neck and examine her cunt. It's floating, disconnected by slats, making my gawking strangely impersonal. She doesn't seem to mind if I study her.

Suddenly I realize what I'm really noticing is how the tendons and muscles of her inner thighs insert into her pelvis! What I want to stockpile for the apocalypse isn't Lucinda, or sex, or voyeurism, but the knowledge of anatomy.

I'm grateful for Dan's question--and Lucinda's chair. Without their slicing, I'd never have got past my feminist shame and looked close. I'd have felt I was drooling over Lucinda, and looked away embarrassed.

And I need to look close, learn the muscles and tissues, see how others are built and move and hold tension... and then take stock of my pelvis, figure out what's really going on. Quit assuming it's sexual, or psychosomatic... quit assuming anything.

And then I wake. Answered, yet with more questions than when I fell asleep.

But, now, the right questions.



LISTS AND LINKS: exhibitionism, nudity and voyeurism - diagnostic dreams - weird diseases - weird dream genitalia - Red Diaper Babies: radical guilt

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