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What God Believes In

Dreamed 1984/9/23 by Chris Wayan

God isn't dead. God is rude. I ought to know. God's my boss.

I'm willing to say God exists, but will he do the same? No! He's ALWAYS denying I exist.

So I have to deal with middle managers instead. Tedious. Slows our response time down, too. As you, my dear material readers, may have noticed.

Finally, one day, a problem comes up that I just refuse to send through channels. I stomp up to God's office and force the boss to recognize me. And he does, sort of. No big triumph--it's happened before, and as always, when God HAS to acknowledge I exist and have legitimate business... God is rude. Won't look me in the eye, and talks to me indirectly: all "Chris is..." and "Tell him..." as if God's some bratty brother who insists "I'm not speaking to you! I don't seeee yooooou."

Oh, I believe in God all right. I could never invent a boss THAT annoying.

Does God believe in me? Come on! That's obvious. God may or may not believe in you, but he REALLY believes in ME. After all, the poor bastard tries so hard not to.



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