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WORM WIZARD,
or,
TITMAN'S CHAIR

Dreamed 1997/4/23 by Chris Wayan

I'm high in a monstrous castle, like the Devil's fortress in the old movie Time Bandits--all superhuman scale. My bed has a view out a north-facing window, but the bed's unusable: on the coverlet sprawls a jagged assemblage of levers, the base of a big cranelike arm that leans out the window. I crawl around the bed and examine it--all I figure out is that hitting a button on the wall makes the arm hinge down and out, and once it's started, nothing can stop it till one swing's done. I don't want to hit the button while I'm on the bed next to those levers and spikes. Call out to my friend Liz not to hit the button till I get off the bed. I'm right under some sharp spurs that'll rock forward onto me if it moves. Crawl out and off.

Walking on through the castle, I meet the Tin Woodman from The Wizard of Oz. He tells me this is one of the Oz castles, but I'm not sure if it's the Wizard's or one of the Witches'.

The Woodman leads me to the Wizard--in his true form, behind the curtain. A huge, segmented, flattened, leathery worm, with skin like an alligator. An alien. Of course! That's how he was able to convince all the witches he was a magician.

Black & white sketch of a worm bigger than a whale. Dream sketch by Wayan.
The Wizard-worm, in a booming elephantine voice, quotes Arthur Clarke: "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." The old tech-fraud! Smoke and lasers. He did do it long before Clarke said it... so really, who quoted whom? Dream sketch by Wayan. In a stone castle a seated man leers at a woman. His chair stands atop me the dreamer, lying on the floor.

The human Wizard's form was no puppet or hired actor. It was his human alter ego. He's a were-worm! Can he help us, in his man-shape?

What a complex, fascinating film we're in!

Now a new character leaps in, the Exotic Temptress. She wears the scarlet Bikini of Lust, with bead fringes. She's supposed to be gently wicked. The actress who plays her is here tonight, but to narrate the film not play her character. She sits on a little stool to the right of the screen and talks--in the voice of her character, I notice. She just can't turn it off!

Pertty soon, Temptress is in costume, back in every scene. Some sexy ones, and I get turned on. But then the energy fades and the plot gets scattered and at last the footage itself begins to bleach toward white... Something's going wrong. I look at the Temptress...

Ow. No wonder. Her breasts have gone peculiar, pushed up by her outfit into rigid red ice-cream scoop shapes just stuck on her ribs.

A guy keeps poking me and whispering "Isn't she hot? Look at those tits!"

All I can think is "Ow, ow, ow! That must pinch!"

I feel an urge to snap "Shut up," but he's my best male friend, and I've lost enough of them, so I let him drool and poke. I have other things to worry about.

For example... I'm lying on some pillows on the theater floor, and his chair is resting on top of me!

It doesn't hurt, just feels heavy. But embarrassing, too. Inhibiting. I got all hot and hard in the Temptress's early scenes, hips rocking almost involuntarily--but I suppressed it because he'll feel the motion up there on his chair.

Why's this guy on top of me--don't I deserve my own chair? Maybe I don't merit a Temptress yet, but everyone should have room to fantasize and masturbate, at least!

I guess. Maybe I don't. Mr. Tit Man seems content to sit on me forever... at least until I push him off.

NOTES NEXT MORNING



LISTS AND LINKS: dream films - dream beings - aliens - worms - wizards - Oz - nightmares - sex dreams - repression - oops! - gender dysphoria - digital dream art - advice - a dream the same night: The Threateners - a weirder dream of sexual freedom vs my chum the tit man: Molly's Prosthetic (and it's not what you think) - the Red Bikini of Lust returns in The Sword Dance & Timedoors of the Gods

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